# Family Guy — parent guide (456 episodes)

Source: https://watchwiththekids.com/family-guy.html
Scoring: violence, sex and language each 1–5; overall = the highest of the three.
Buckets: 34 all clear (1–2), 123 gray area (3), 299 hard pass (4–5).

## S1 E1 — 1. Death Has a Shadow
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0101.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter ignores his wife's warning about a bachelor party. Voices include Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green and Phil LaMarr.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “The one where Arnold and Dudley get sexually molested by the bike shop owner? All right.”
  - STEWIE: “Are you insane? Okay, I mean sexual harassment suit.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “The penis broke off while I was loading it into the car.”
  - “But did you have to buy breast implants for Chris? It makes him happy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Did you bring the porno? Did I bring the porno? You're gonna love it.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is that really the blood of Christ? - Yes.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Dick, you ever wonder what's outside those walls? That's dangerous thinking, Paul.”
  - ED: “That was a crazy one, Dick.”
  - “Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.”
  - “Damn! [Suspenseful instrumental music.]”
  - “How the hell am I gonna break this to Lois? If she finds out I got fired for drinking, she's gonna blame me! DEVIL: Lie to her.”
  - “Come on, you bastard! I'm late for work.”
  - “How's your job search going? It sucks, Brian.”
  - “Peter, what the hell is the matter with you? Honey, if there's something wrong, you can tell me.”
  - “The man I married would never think he could fix a problem just by spending money! Boy, she's pretty pissed.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - “Weed, I've been working on the new G.”
  - “Remember when you got drunk off the Communion wine at church? And so the Lord God smote poor Job with festering boils all over his body.”
  - “Man, that guy must've been wasted And then there was that time at the ice cream store.”
  - “Who wants to play Drink The Beer? Right here.”
  - “What do I win? Another beer! I'm going for the high score! Actually, Charlie's got the high score.”
  - “You see? A hangover is nature's way of telling you I was right.”
  - “Who would've thought getting drunk would get me $150,000 a week from the government? This is why I don't vote.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “President, why do you think the public supports you during these impeachment proceedings? Probably because you're so fat.”

## S1 E2 — 2. I Never Met the Dead Man
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0102.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter (voice of Seth MacFarlane) learns to live without TV when he crashes his car into a satellite dish. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a climate-control machine.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Class, we were scheduled to watch a PBS program on the mating rituals of the nude large-breasted Weewok tribe of New Guinea.”
  - “Looks like some boob's about to get lynched.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “What's happening now? - Sipowicz is finding who stabbed the super.”
  - NARRATOR: “We now return to The Scooby Doo Murder Files.”
  - “I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.”
  - “The killer gutted the victim, strangled him with his own intestines and then dumped the body in the river! - Jinkies! What a mystery! [Moaning.]”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “We're dealing with one sick son of a bitch.”
  - “Never! Damn the broccoli! Damn you! And damn the Wright Brothers! My, aren't we fussy tonight.”
  - “L Who the hell do you think you are? Honey, it's not gonna go away just because you don't like it.”
  - “Peter, what the hell is that? - It's my favorite TV family, the Griffins.”
  - “There's a world out there waiting for us to grab it by the short hairs! - Damn! - Let's go.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Think I'll go get drunk and beat up midgets.”
  - “All the hours we've wasted on that damn idiot box.”

## S1 E3 — 3. Chitty Chitty Death Bang
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0103.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: The Griffins prepare for Stewie's first birthday party, but the precocious lad hatches a plan of his own.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “I was sent by my smart, beautiful, and still sexually appealing wife, Lois.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “And trust me, you did not want the one of Al Roker with the Hershey Kiss nipples.”
  - “Peter, there's a naked man on this cake.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I've gotta go mix the punch.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Come on! Hands off, fatty! Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”
  - “What about that fat girl from the Judds? I'm sorry I've been so selfish.”

## S1 E4 — 4. Mind Over Murder
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0104.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Under house arrest, Peter builds a bar in the basement to have his friends over. And the joint is jumpin', much to Lois' dismay.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “And there's a naked priest sitting there.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “What's the difference between pornography and art? [Chuckling.]”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - STEWIE: “Damn it to the bowels of bloody hell! The baby's up.”
  - “I'm a little gun-shy after what happened last time.”
  - “Or do you? "Or do you?" She's a smokin' little pistol, isn't she? Are you a woman? No.”
  - PETER: “I can't believe I punched a woman.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - BERT: “Hello? Son of a bitch.”
  - “Give me back my sock, you goat bastard! PETER: Hey! You're right.”
  - “Where the hell's Peter? That was good, Reuben.”
  - “Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.”
  - “Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the damn bed! Bert, you're shouting again, Bert! [Comedic instrumental music.]”
  - “Where's the damn pull string? [Yells.]”
  - LOIS: “Where the hell have you been? We had a date.”
  - “Lois is pretty pissed, huh? Yes, your judgment lately has been rather You have crappy judgment anyway.”
  - “I want to hear it! Is that what this is all about? Run for your lives! Holy crap! Hot! [Explosion.]”
- Alcohol & drugs — 6 moment(s)
  - “If you guys were beers, I would drink every one of you.”
  - “I spent all morning on a boat drinking beer, telling jokes, and screwing around.”
  - PETER: “Boo, Lois! Yay, beer! [Playing classical music.]”
  - “I just came down to get some beers.”
  - “My mother used to use whiskey whenever I had a toothache.”
  - “Care to partake in one of your oh-so-exhilarating games of peekaboo? Oh, my God! My baby is drunk! PETER: No, I'm not! Him? Yeah.”

## S1 E5 — 5. A Hero Sits Next Door
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0105.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter's neighbor---an award-winning ballplayer and cop---makes him feel inadequate, Peter tries to become a hero.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I was a virgin when we met.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - DISPATCH: “Domestic disturbance PETER: Boring! DISPATCH: Report of a stabbing in DISPATCH: All units! A major robbery is in progress at Quahog Bank and Trust.”
  - “Wait! Can you let me pistol-whip you a couple times for the camera? Stupid robbers with your guns and your make-out parties.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Say, you don't happen to have any picture wire, do you? Picture wire? You son of a bitch.”
  - “Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! There it goes again.”
  - “Where the hell am I gonna find a guy as strong as Guillermo? One time I walked into the locker room, I swear he was bench-pressing Mr.”
  - “Go to hell! Whoops.”
  - “Crap! Don't hit it to Joe.”
  - “This sucks, Brian.”
  - “Crap! JOE: This is Police Lieutenant Joe Swanson.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “What do you mean? Now you're addicted to heroin.”
  - “Weed, I got a great idea for a new line of TV action figures.”
  - “Cocktail parties, school functions, that time we planted trees in Jerusalem.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “If that slut wants full custody of the kids, she's got it.”

## S1 E6 — 6. The Son Also Draws
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0106.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On their way to New York, the Griffins take a wrong turn and end up at a Native American gambling casino, where luck proves to be no lady for Lois (voice of Alex Borstein). Comic Bobby Slayton provides the voice of a pit boss named Lenny.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “And by that I mean I'II have sex with you.”
  - “l need to go back in the casino and find a high roller who'll pay $1 million to sleep with my wife.”
  - “''lt seems today that all you see ''is violence in movies and sex on TV ''But where are those good, old-fashioned values ''on which we used to rely?”
  - “Did you ever get a sexual disease? -Herpes twice.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? You want to draw? Son, why don't you just stick a knife in my heart? -l mean, so you drew this? -Yeah.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Stand there and bitch! But would any of you take the time to help me? l'm playing the world's smallest violin, Scott.”
  - “l shall give her a piece of my mind! Damn it! Now look here, you.”
  - “What the hell? Dad, the Scouts are no fun.”
  - “What? Those bastards! Don't you worry.”
  - “What the hell do you think you're doing? Strapping you in, honey, so you don't get hurt.”
  - “Damn it, JuIie.”
  - “…son You know we'll have a--'' Oh, my God! TREES: Fire! Let's get out of here! TREE: Run, you stupid bastards!”
  - “Canada sucks.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Patty, did you know that your mother is a whore? l think it's great that you and Chris've been spending so much time together.”

## S1 E7 — 7. Brian: Portrait of a Dog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0107.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian leaves home after his refusal to perform during a dog show prompts a rift with Peter, who later sees Brian whisked away to the pound, where he's marked for death.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I think I saw one of her nipples! Chris, that's a terrible word! "Nipple.”
  - “What did you see? Was it breasts? Get over it, Brian.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Murder She Wrote.”
  - “So she's the murderer! Come on, kids.”
  - “I guess I had too many bloody marys this morning.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “You prance about this house like the cock of the walk.”
  - “What a bitch.”
  - “Nothing says "I love you" like something from What the hell are you doing, you crazy bitch? These oughta cheer Brian up.”
  - “What the hell is this? This? This is the part where you beg for a treat.”
  - “Really? I could've sworn his favorite was "treat Peter like crap" buns.”
  - “How dare you? How dare I? Where do you think you're going? Out! You're not going anywhere without your leash! I don't need your damn leash, or you! I'm going for a walk.”
  - “What the hell was that? Something near a window.”
  - STEWIE: “Mistrial, damn you! Mistrial! [Triumphant instrumental music.]”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I need a cocktail.”
  - “Can you spare some change? Why? So you can go buy yourself another bottle of booze? Why don't you make something of your life, like this dog? That's me! I mean, that was me.”

## S2 E1 — 1. Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0201.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The Griffins are movin' on up (to a Newport mansion, specifically), when Lois inherits a "weekend house" from a rich aunt. Robin Leach provides his own voice in a "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" spoof.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “After Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'll be your nipples Towel boy! Oh, jeez.”
  - “She ain't supposed to be having no penis! [Electricity surging.]”
  - “Our beautiful home with the stolen cable and the man with the penis for a light switch.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like the time my buddy's sister's boss was drinking with a hooker in a Vegas bar.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “When you do finally get around to it, I'll be the one covered in flies with a belly that protrudes halfway to bloody Boston!”
  - “Stop it! You can't become a bloody fiscal hermit crab every time the Nikkei undergoes a correction! Asia's market has nowhere to go but up! Interesting.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Stewie! "Prepare to suck that golden teat "Now that you're stinking rich "we'll gladly be your bitch "My God, this house is "freakin' sweet" STAFF: Welcome! That's a wrap, people.”
  - “Damn, crap, damn it to hell, son of a LOIS: Peter! Lois, sometimes it's appropriate to swear.”
  - “You bastard.”
  - “Holy crap! You sweet old broad, I love you! [Mourners gasping.]”
  - “Let's get the hell out of here.”
  - “Barkeep, it's like the damn Sahara over here! How you doing, honey? BRANDYWINE: Welcome to the Historical Society Auction.”
  - “Your Aunt Marguerite is laughing at me while she's burning in Hell may she rest in peace.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Vodka stinger with a whiskey back.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, because your ancestors were nothing but a bunch of pimps and whores.”

## S2 E2 — 2. Holy Crap
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0202.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter's dour and devout 80-year-old father (voice of Charles Durning) moves in with the Griffins after he retires from the mill where he has worked for 50 years. He's a hellfire-and-damnation man, and he thinks family is heading south.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “What are you doing with all them bathtubs, you heathen dummy? Pop, why you gotta be like that? We cut 'em in half, stick a Virgin Mary in them and sell them as shrines.”
  - “Well, in that case, Dad l'm gonna eat meat on Fridays, golf on Sundays laugh at Jewish comedians, and yes, sleep with my Protestant wife.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “You're fired! Well, in that case, I'm suing you for sexual harassment.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Hey, what are you doing here? I killed a hooker.”
  - “Remember when we brought in that stripper for Lombardi's birthday and it turned out to be his son? I think this is gonna top it.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “I'll tell you what else will be examined, this cock.”
  - “The Rhode Island Cock Society is sponsoring free check-ups for this year's Cock Awareness Week.”
  - “Perhaps you won't burn in Hell after all.”
  - “"So God cast the pagans and sinners into the fiery bowels of Hell "where their flesh burned in agony forever and ever.”
  - “I'm not a broken-down old mule! I can still work! I can still take orders! Oh, hey! Hey, look! Hey, Dad! Aw, crap.”
  - “At least I love my kids enough not to spend every minute of the day working! I'm a damn good father, and that's more than I can say about you! [Gasping.]”
  - “You know what? I'm a damn good father.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Weed? Peter.”
  - “Cocktail! Aye, she's a rose.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - Theme from The Dick Van Dyke Show.

## S2 E3 — 3. DaBoom
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0203.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The Griffins usher in the Millennium with a bang----a nuclear one. Victoria Principal and Patrick Duffy have cameos (as their "Dallas" characters Pam and Bobby Ewing) in a live-action coda to the program, in which every Y2K bug that can bite Quahog (and the rest of the world) does. But the Griffins survive and head off, "Mad Max"-like, on a sardonic odyssey through post-apocalyptic New England, where Griffin's Law prevails---until Peter shoots himself in the foot.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Are you sellin' chicken or sex jelly? Haven't you heard? At midnight, every computer in the world is gonna fail.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “On Tuesdays you get to wave your penis at traffic.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'm a radio-bloody-active freak.”
  - “And no crime, no guns, no pollution.”
  - “Guys, we need to make some guns.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I'm such a bitch.”
  - “Aren't you dressed yet? Oh, crap.”
  - “What the hell? Peter, if you wanna stay here, that's fine.”
  - “What the hell.”
  - “What'd I miss? Holy crap! Anybody else feel that? Good morning, family.”
  - “Who knows what animals have been in there? (cheering) It's about damn time.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “When I think back on all the food we've wasted in this house.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Not about kickin' your fat ass.”

## S2 E4 — 4. Brian in Love
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0204.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian is having "accidents" (on rugs and other places) and seeks out a therapist (voice of Sam Waterston) to find out why. The therapist's conclusion: Brian's in love. The object of his yearning: Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Watch as I have sex with this potentially dangerous man, as we take you in-depth and undercover.”
  - “Argh! It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “And now Part 2 of our very own Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Another! Another! Yes! Mama has candy kisses! All right, that's enough! I mean, would you all excuse me, please? Stewie, did did you unhook Mommy's bra? - Uh, hi.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “And while we're at it, we can light up a doobie and watch porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “May as well drop the bloody formalities.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I oughta just give you some beer.”
  - “Say we were drunk and knew we wouldn't remember? I'd have to be really, really No! I tell you, Peter, I wish I'd taken this up years ago.”

## S2 E5 — 5. Love Thy Trophy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0205.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and his neighbors enter a float in Quahog's annual Harvest Festival Parade. They win, but then the trophy turns up missing and the winners all suspect each other of stealing it. Meanwhile, Meg (voice of Lacey Chabert) needs $1100 for a purse, so she takes a waitress job, and takes Stewie with her---pretending that she's an unwed mother and Stewie is her crack baby.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “" It's great they picked your theme, but isn't it a little esoteric? Esoteric? - Could it mean "sexy"? - I think it's a science term.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - STEWIE: “What's this? Blueberries? Oh, my That's better than sex! And could I get that waitress' address? I'd like to help her baby.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “You told me I came out of your vagina! Next! Hi.”
  - “…to"! And the Harvest Festival Parade theme is: "The episode of Who's the Boss? "where Tony sees Angela naked in the shower.”
  - “Say, get the hell off Hello, lips, legs, breasts, and ass.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “" You lied to them! You told Child Services that we steal lawn mowers and cheat on our taxes and worship some guy named Stan.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Gun loading.
  - STEWIE: “Damn it! I want pancakes! You people understand every language except English! Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click-click-bloody-click pancakes! Poor little guy.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Henry, give the little skank a nice tip.”

## S2 E6 — 6. Death Is a Bitch
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0206.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter survives a health scare but gets a killer bill. So he writes "deceased" next to his name on a form---and is visited by the Grim Reaper himself. How, Peter wonders, did Death get the form? "It was e-mailed to me by your HMO." But Death must take a forced holiday when he sprains his ankle chasing Peter, who has no desire to go gently into that good night.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna be a virgin forever.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “" And where it says "sex," I'll write, "No, thanks.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - PETER: “Knock it off! LOIS: Oh, my God! I found a lump! A breast lump! The important thing is to stay calm.”
  - “" Mom, Debbie Miller's dad had a lump on his breast, and he turned out okay.”
  - “But thanks for letting me draw you naked.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you look out the window, you'll see the San Fernando Valley where my brother Gary makes a very nice living directing porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Peter, are you saying that if I shoot you in the head with this Channel 5 pistol, you'll be completely unharmed? Why don't you give it a shot? Okay, here goes.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - PETER: “Lois, what are you doing? Neither of us is drunk.”
  - “"Knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone" I can't believe you drank 300 bottles of beer without succumbing to alcohol poisoning.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “As it turns out, the lump on your chest was just a fatty corpuscle.”
  - “Fatty corpuscle? Wait a minute.”

## S2 E7 — 7. The King Is Dead
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0207.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois is named artistic director of the Quahog Players and makes Peter the producer of the troupe's upcoming show, "The King and I." She had to find something for him to do---Peter was complaining about a lack of outlets for his "creativity" (and he certainly can't act).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “MAN #3: I haven't had sex in ages.”
  - “So, what? I had sex with you for nothing? - No, Peter, I It's just that directing this show is a big opportunity for me and I don't want anything to ruin it.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “I will not be swayed by your attempts to confuse my programming with your all-female sex orgy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Am I supposed to draw the penis? Then I tried sculpting.”
  - “Am I supposed to sculpt the penis? Then I tried music.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “…wrong with you? These people shouldn't be encouraged! They should be punished! That man has committed murder here this evening and the victim's name is "theater.”
  - “Look, the fact is the man is out there every bloody night with fresh material and he's charming.”
  - “…rules "Because I kicked all the bad guys in their jewels ALL: "ANNA won "Thanks to my gamma-ray atomic gun ALL: "Dance and shout "'He's the world's greatest ninja, there's no doubt "Though they tried to defeat me…”
  - “Loretta, why don't you try slapping Diane? - I think I can do that.”
  - “Nobody's slapping anybody.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “We now go live to Diane being a bitch.”
  - “It just doesn't feel real, you know? Anna and Miss Thing both love the king, right? On Springer yesterday, they had "I won't share my husband" and these two women bitch-slapped each other.”
  - “Siamese baby? Stewie Griffin does not play bit parts! You wanted a bigger part, didn't you, sweetie? To hell with you! Perhaps I'll skip the stage and go directly to films! - Hello.”
  - PETER: “Damn it! [Gentle dinner music playing.]”
  - “Who's the star? For that matter, who the hell are you, and why should I give a damn? Wow, I'm being interviewed by Diane Simmons! Well, Lois, you told me to produce, and I did.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big Christmas toy this year gets a huge bonus.”
  - “Weed, distinguished members of the board may I present this year's hottest toy Mr.”

## S2 E8 — 8. I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0208.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter's sense of humor is no laughing matter to the woman who sues him for sexual harassment. He can escape the lawsuit, though---by attending a training session on workplace sensitivity. It's a chance for him to get in touch with his feminine side. Candice Bergen provides the voice of feminist lawyer Gloria Ironbachs.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “If you buy it, hot women will have sex in your back yard.”
  - “Hey, hey, how about that Viagra, huh? You know what that stuff does? Huh? Huh? Come on! What, are you people stupid? Ah! You like a little abuse, huh? Yeah.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “But I'll forgive you cos you sex me up.”
  - “She's suing you and the company for sexual harassment.”
  - “Sarah Sarah I don't Oh, is she the one we video-taped taking a dump? Why? What happened? Sexual harassment is a very serious charge, Mr Griffin.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talking to 'em.”
  - “I gotta get myself a breast exam.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're just afraid that because you're a woman, you'll do something stupid, like buy that time-share, or not realise I taped over our wedding video with soft-core porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Boating's in my blood.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You bitch! Ten banana cream pies.”
  - “Dad, we won a boat! We won a boat! Ha-ha! Holy crap! We did! We won a free freakin' boat! Dad, nobody gives things away for free.”
  - “This comic sucks! He couldn't make me laugh even if I was laughing my ass off and he was making me do it.”
  - “What the hell am I supposed to learn from that? Face it, your attitude towards women isn't exactly enlightened.”
  - “Holy crap, this is hot.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Ha-ha-ha-ha! So you got You you wanted to see me, Mr Weed? Peter, we have a problem.”
  - “(man) Pawtucket Patriot beer.”
  - “Typical male fantasy! Women drinking beer! I guarantee you a man made that commercial.”

## S2 E9 — 9. If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin'
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0209.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and Chris's favorite TV show, "Gumbel 2 Gumbel," is canceled, Peter concocts a plan to get it uncanceled. He goes to the Grant-a-Dream Foundation and says that Chris is dying. His dream: bring back the Gumbels. It's granted, but Peter's "white lie" comes back to plague him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good, old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “Sounds sexy.”
  - “Hello? What's he got? Sounds sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “What are the symptoms? What are the symptoms? Take a look! He's growing nipples all over his body! - They look like pepperonis.”
  - “Who do you think you are? My son happens to be very sensitive about his extra nipples.”
  - “The full story, and maybe Diane's boobs, tonight at 11:00.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's as if someone stabbed Mr.”
  - “Blast! I'm frozen! I'm hypothermic! Bloody hell, I'm a woman! Take out your pencils and start your test.”
  - “No! The water, it turned all red and goopy, like blood! Blood? How positively delightful.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “We're talking Marty McSuperfly, dig? Marty, I want to be your fine, sweet-ass bitch.”
  - “What the hell is Gatilsday? NBC invented a new day so they could add another Dateline.”
  - “Me and my damn appetite! It's not the first time it brought me trouble.”
  - “Is this the Grant-a-Dream foundation? - My son Chris is dying! - Holy crap, no! Oh, my God! That was the lie.”
  - “Do you guys hear yourselves? This is the same old crap over and over again.”
  - “You can learn something from this fine young Damn it, Steinberg! Take that hat off! MEG: Dad, Marcy Gibbons just called! [Crying.]”
  - “What the hell is that?”
  - “Make them stop worshipping you before it starts hailing in my house! There's gotta be an explanation for all this! You want an explanation? God is pissed! Let's get out of here! [Eerie instrumental music.]”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What kind of man devalues the life of his child for a TV show? Anyone who wouldn't pretend their own son is dying to get the Gumbels back on TV is a racist.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Tonight, Katie Couric guest stars as a very perky crack whore.”

## S2 E10 — Running Mates
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0210.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and school-board candidate Lois have divergent views on an education issue, so Peter decides to run against her. The issue: a wacky old science teacher of Peter's is fired after the school's annual "egg drop" experiment because he had the kids drop California-condor eggs. Meanwhile, Chris gets into trouble at school for peeking into the girls' locker room.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “|"It seems today that all you see "is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those good,|old-fashioned values "on which we used to rely?”
  - “For starters,|we're making sex education more fun.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “"Vagina junction, what's your function? "Taking in sperm and spitting out babies" And our schools are the safest around PETER: Thanks to the hall monitor XL-K.”
  - “Now, son, as men, it's only natural for us|to look at naked girls.”
  - “Now you can look at naked girls|all you want and it's perfectly legal! Wow, check out the rack on Mom? Give me that! Just a little present your mom gave me|for our anniversary.”
  - “Blast! Hey, Chris! Hector found two rocks outside|that look like boobs! You in? Who needs rocks when you got these? - Check it out!|- Wow! PETER: Vote for Peter Griffin! Look at all of Lois' signs! Talk about seeing red.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “All these kids are looking at pornography! TRISHA: What kind of pervert|gave you kids this filth? Chris Griffin.”
  - “Oh, jeez! Did somebody open|the Ark of the Covenant? Now see, Peter, what you gotta do is|you gotta declare war! War! Your only chance|of surviving this scandal is to claim that Lois|gave your boy the pornography.”
  - PETER: “"A parent giving porno to their kid|is a terrible thing "but I'm here to tell you|that I'm innocent!" CROWD: Oh, yeah.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “|That's why I brought in the big guns.”
  - “But I'm warning you, I'm not gonna|pull any punches on the issues.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What a great day! I just want to say I am so freaking wasted! [All gasping.]”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - PETER: “Lois Griffin is a slut.”

## S2 E11 — A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0211.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: A New York art dealer sees a painting of Chris's and immediately christens "Christobel" as the next big thing in art. So the Griffins head for the Big Apple for the launch of his career. Candice Bergen, Faith Ford, Joe Regalbuto and Charles Kimbrough have cameos as their "Murphy Brown" characters.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “All right, you're sleeping with which producer?”
  - “Yeah! Mm, baby! I'm gonna sex you up, baby.”
  - “I'm going to sex you up so crazy, yeah! Oh, you're loving this, aren't you?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I know artists have to make sacrifices, and Oh, my God! Are you Kate Moss? Oh, for someone with no breasts, you've done very well for yourself.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I don't see any strippers passing out free tacos.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Agh! Ah! Yes! This is my rifle, this is my gun This is for fighting, this is for fun Oh, dang.”
  - “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Tipper Gore.”
  - “I'm gonna go over there and punch her.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “But the kid in me is suicidal over what a fat bastard I'll become.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Mr Monatti invited us to a cocktail party so Chris can meet some artists.”

## S2 E12 — Fifteen Minutes of Shame
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0212.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Everything Lois and Peter do seems to embarrass Meg, and now the Griffins are to be featured on a reality TV show. Not surprisingly, Meg is appalled. To make matters worse for her, the audience-research report comes in and she's the "least popular."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You know, I always thought he was sexy.”
  - “Fire that sexy, interesting version of our daughter and make us a family again, or we walk.”
- Nudity & bodies — 9 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “So that's what Peter's penis looks like.”
  - “I'd take James Brolin's face, Mark Spitz's body, and Milton Berle's legendary genitals.”
  - “She means your nipples are stickin' out.”
  - “Mom! Nipples! Nipples! That's it! I want those cameras off! Fourth wall! You're breaking the fourth wall! Meg, you're the one that got us on TV in the first place.”
  - “Um you might have noticed my underwear has a hole in it.”
  - “Mom, you have to do something! Dad's on TV parading around in his underwear like some gross European guy! Oh, now, sweetie, your father is just a free spirit.”
  - “Uh, I don't know if Mom and Dad told you, but we usually have breakfast naked and I'm allowed to videotape it.”
  - “I'm going to write in my journal about how I'll never grow big, full breasts like these.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Whoa! Is that really the blood of Christ? - Yes.”
  - “What the hell is this? I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack? Make it again! Ah, the breakfast thing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Man! That guy must've been wasted 24 hours a day, huh? We have a caller on the line.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “But, Dad - Upstairs! You're a McDonald, not a whore.”

## S2 E13 — Road to Rhode Island
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0213.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Hope and Crosby they're not, but Brian and Stewie do have some odd adventures when they bum their way across the country together after losing their plane tickets. In another plotline, Lois makes Peter watch a video designed to help couples communicate more effectively. Sam Waterston has a cameo as Brian's analyst. The topic: Brian's loss of his mother.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Yes, and I bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull.”
  - “Yeah? I was trying to be sexy for ya.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes.”
  - “I hope you like big breasts because mine are so big, this itty bra can barely contain them.”
  - “I mean nickels and boobs.”
  - “…- We're quite a pair of partners Just like Thelma and Louise 'Cept you're not six feet tall - And your breasts don't reach your knees.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Dad, if bad men broke into the house, and they had guns, and they put a gun up to your head and made you choose who you wanted to live, me or Meg, who would you choose? Ask your mom.”
  - “It's about bloody time! You That idiot slattern sent the dog? Oh, oh, oh! This is this is Oh, don't even get me started.”
  - “Forget it! Let's just get on the bloody plane and go home.”
  - “That's it, Mr Giraffe, get all the marmalade (phone) (yawns) Hello! Agh! Agh! Damn it to pus-spewing blood-gutted hell! What? What do you mean, our credit card was declined? No, no.”
  - “You have to punch in the numbers nowadays.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “(exhales) Brian, you really seem to be enjoying your wine lately.”
  - “I'm I'm not drunk.”
  - “Public drunkenness, grand theft auto.”
  - “We're off on the road to Rhode Island We're not gonna stop till we're there Maybe for a beer.”

## S2 E14 — Let's Go to the Hop
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0214.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: A psychedelic drug craze (licking Colombian toads) hits Quahog's teens, so Peter goes undercover at the high school to stop it, and ends up being the most popular guy in school. Scenes send up John Hughes movies and "Grease."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “…give it up You gotta give up the toad now And don't smoke Or you'll see It hurts to pee There'll be blood Gushin' from ya Every time that you cough And forget gettin' lucky It falls off Yeah, you'd better wise…”
  - “And it's a lot safer now that all the kids have guns.”
  - “Oh, yeah? What about the time she strangled our other sister? Now, Chris, we told you that was just a very bad dream.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you want to be a Supreme Court justice, you gotta pick up that cherry with your butt cheeks and drop it in that beer.”

## S2 E15 — Dammit Janet
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0215.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Lacking excitement in her life, Lois decides to get a job, and Peter steers her toward being a flight attendant (because husbands fly free). Elsewhere, Stewie is dispatched to a day-care center, where he promptly falls in love with a girl named Janet (voice of Tara Charendoff). This rattles him. "I want absolutely nothing to do with the wretched enterprise," he declares, to no avail.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, yeah, if you like runnin' through a gauntlet of drunk, horny businessmen.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “This is what you call dolled up? Why don't you save yourself years of sexual ambiguity and get fitted for a pair of Doc Martens and a plaid flannel shirt? There it is.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “What will the neighbours think? Abner! Abner! The Griffin boy just killed a plastic reindeer! Gladys, it took me two hours to work up the courage to rent this porno.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Argh! It's no use! She swims in my blood now.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, throw me a beer, would ya? Stewardess, the plane just made my beer spill.”
  - “Sir, all your beers have been free.”

## S2 E16 — There's Something About Paulie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0216.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter finds himself tied to the mob after he buys a car that turns out to be a lemon, and a wiseguy (voice of Jon Cryer) offers lemon aid. Other guest voices include Michael Chiklis (Big Fat Paulie) and Alan King (the Don).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “That's your penis.”
  - “OK, so I tried on your bra.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You can jot it down on the back of my gun.”
  - “Do you have another gun? Dharma, come down from there.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “This is my friend, Big Fat Paulie, and, uh this is his big fat ass.”

## S2 E17 — He's Too Sexy for His Fat
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0217.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Tired of being overweight, Chris (voice of Seth Green) decides to diet and exercise. That doesn't work, but there's always liposuction and plastic surgery---if not for Chris, then for another Griffin man (Peter---the one with the fat head).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's too bad you can't have some - it's practically orgasmic! Oh, yes! Yes! Oh! Oh! - Yes! Yes! - I'll have what he's having.”
  - “You were ogling Peter like a horny schoolgirl.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Raja naba doua gola wookie nipple pinchie.”
  - “But oh, no! I'm naked! What the deuce? Agh! Fleas! Agh! Damn you, Mop N' Glo.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Semen! This must be where Wilford Brimley was strangled by Bob Crane.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Logan! You son of a bitch! - You think I'd miss this party? I feel terrible about this.”
  - “Call the damn exterminator! (alarm) We got a 602 at 31 Spooner Street! (heroic music) - Logan, let's go.”
  - “What's with you, Logan? You look like hell.”
  - “Yaaaagh! - They're in the carpet! - Got one over here! It's no good! There's too many of 'em! What do we do now? What the hell do we do now?! We pray.”
  - “Knock, knock! Hey, pal, you can't just walk in here Holy crap, it's Peter.”
  - “Agh! Holy crap! Ow! - There's a baby in that refuse bin.”
  - “Damn you, ice cream.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What are you sellin'? Reefer? Crack? Smack? Horse? X? Shrooms? Dust? Meth? In my neighbourhood? I don't think so! (wails) Oh, my.”
- Fat-shaming — 5 moment(s)
  - “Sorry about that, fatty-fat-fatty.”
  - “Hey, Tom, he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty? You're just a big old fat kid.”
  - “Oh, honey, no one thinks you're fat.”
  - “Honey, if you wanna lose weight, I'll put you on a diet and your father can help you exercise.”
  - “Go away! Wow, Chris, did you lose weight? Maybe.”

## S2 E18 — E. Peterbus Unum
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0218.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter goes to City Hall for a pool permit, he discovers that the Griffin house is not located in Quahog---or even in the U.S. And so a new nation---Petoria---is born. Not surprisingly, Peter (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) proves to be a saber-rattler, and that leads to a cooling in U.S.-Petorian relations.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What the hell's Party of Five? By God, I may not be able to give my family a vibrating sex doll, - But at least I can give 'em a pool.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Then I thought "Hey! I could be like Hillary Clinton!" Only, you know, without the penis.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “This is treason! For God's sake, Peter! Make an example of her! Nothing says "Obey me" like a bloody head on a fence post.”
  - “You think G Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks while he was stranglin' people with piano wire for the good of our nation? Peter, you can't drink that outside.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's Petorian for "More beer, you slappy-wag.”

## S2 E19 — The Story on Page One
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0219.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Luke Perry (who provides his own voice) is the subject of Meg's journalistic excess. Actually, it's Peter's: he writes an article "outing" Perry (with no evidence whatsoever), puts Meg's name on it and submits it to her school newspaper.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You know what's good for getting wine out? - Sex with another man.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Where the hell would I keep it? In my diaper? Get outta here, you hobo! Oh, bloody hell.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Really? Shannen Doherty told me that but I thought she was just being a bitch.”
  - “Oh, come on! (grunts) Oh, damn my small stature.”
  - “Show yourself, damn you! I've been investigating him for months.”
  - “Brian, that's it! If I could get a picture of Luke Perry doing something gaylike it'll make people believe Meg's story is true! - Yeeh! - How the hell are you gonna do that?”
  - “Won't you drop the lawsuit, please, Dylan? Ah, what the hell.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Behind the fat chick! - Nope? - (Stewie) D'oh! OK.”

## S2 E20 — Wasted Talent
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0220.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The men of Quahog drink themselves into stupors trying to win a contest sponsored by the mysterious brewer Pawtucket Pete. The prize: a tour of his near-mystical brewery (and a lifetime supply of beer). Meanwhile, Lois (voice of Alex Bornstein), a frustrated pianist who competes vicariously through the students she teaches, finds one with real promise just before a big competition.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Keep playing! (punching sounds) I got the mu Oh, my God! - Jimmy, what happened? - (Stewie) Yes, Jimmy.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “The recipient declines to be interviewed for safety reasons, but I'm sure you're all with me when I say "Congratulations, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Now I ask you, why should I kill this Count Chocula? That son of a bitch has been spreading lies.”
  - “All right, listen to me, you long-necked bastard.”
  - “(retches) What the hell?”
  - “Ah, what the hell.”
  - “I'm talking about that! Holy crap! There's nothing to grab onto! - Oh, this is it, pal.”
  - “This may not be my proudest moment, but damn it, I wanna win.”
  - “That little bastard sold me some bad crack.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 9 moment(s)
  - “Pawtucket Pat has placed four silver scrolls in four random beers.”
  - “Each lucky scroll winner and a guest of their choice will take a magical tour of the brewery, and walk away with a lifetime's supply of beer.”
  - “Now help me drink these beers.”
  - “You're drunk again! - No, exhausted.”
  - “In a recent 12-day study Ah, my last beer.”
  - “…When you drink enough of my beer You will find this magic rule Make your every joke a jewel You'll drive drunker than Oksana Baiul Go on, buds, drink my suds Till you've reached that pure inebriation Though the beer…”
  - “Oh, jeez, this hangover's killin' me.”
  - “You can only play the piano when you're drunk! That's not true.”
  - “I can't do it without booze.”

## S2 E21 — Fore, Father
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0221.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Chris takes up with Quagmire when he feels neglected by Peter, who coaches Cleveland Jr. to play with him in a golf tournament.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I was pink as a pistol.”
  - “Pink as a pistol?! Good Lord! I can't even form a cogent simile any more.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Whoa! Whoa-ho! - How old are you? - Old enough to know you're a whore.”

## S3 E1 — 1. The Thin White Line (1)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0301.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Family dog Brian is "in a rut" so he tries volunteerism, then takes a job as a dope-sniffing narc for the Quahog P.D. Trouble is, he likes what he sniffs a bit too much.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, what? She's, like,|your mom or somethin'? - (laughs hysterically)|- (laughs) Tina, can I get you a warm washcloth to|wipe the dried blood from under your nose? - Here's the channel Lois doesn't know about.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You know the street value of that cocaine? Let's see.”
  - “(knowing chuckles) - I better take this cocaine down to Evidence.”
  - “Peter, are you OK? Mr Weed, I think Peter needs a doc We have a winner! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

## S3 E2 — 2. Brian Does Hollywood (2)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0302.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian heads to Hollywood to be screenwriter and the others follow when Stewie is chosen to be on "Kids Say the Darndest Things." Stewie doesn't exactly hit it off with host Bill Cosby but Brian does make his mark in show business, if not in the way he had intended (as a porn "auteur").
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “|- Last night I had sex with a black chick.”
  - “So, this is a shampoo commercial, right?|- Do I have to sleep with the dog in this one? Can someone fluff Paul?|He's got a windsock thing goin' on.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “Look at me having sex|with a pig.”
  - “Did you hear that? We're going to Hollywood,|where people are sexy and clever and always say somethin' funny|before the commercial break.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “|- What? More people I love think I'm a jerk? You're more than that, Mr "Nominated|for an Adult Movie Award for Director".”
  - “I was asked to star in a porno, but I couldn't|cos most of my body's less than 18 years old.”
  - “(wails) The next award is for Best Original Score in|an adult film.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “You're now my bitch.”
  - “How are ya, Alfred Hitch Cock? You like that one, Dick Hertz? Huh?|I'm sorry.”
  - “I always end up|sitting next to a damn baby.”
  - “(Phil) Tell him it sucks.”
  - “|- Yeah, it sucks.”
  - “Who the hell is Jasper? Where's Brian?|- Peter? It's me.”
  - “See ya later, Mr Big Shot Crap.”
  - “(siren) Oh, crap.”
  - “Who the hell does Brian think he is?|- Maybe he thought we'd get in the way.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “My director quit and I need somebody who's|smart, ambitious and not addicted to meth.”
  - “I'm already drunk.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “|All the studs and sluts are arriving.”

## S3 E3 — 3. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0303.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: A conglomerate buys Happy Go Lucky Toys and installs Peter (voice of series creator Seth McFarlane) as president. The conglomerate also owns a tobacco company, and before long Peter is on his way to Washington to testify before Congress on the benefits of smoking.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “How do you respond to that? Bababooie! Bababooie!|Howard Stern's penis! Bababooie! How long is Dad gonna be in Washington? As long as it takes.”
  - “Hey, what's your|wife's name? Vagina Coastguard? I'm kidding.”
  - “Naked people who may be willing|to pleasure you for a price you negotiate.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “|Killing strippers.”
  - “Strippers are people, too.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “(cocks gun) Pull.”
  - “Al Gore? George W Bush? - Yes?|- Yes? Great.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “(cocks gun) Pull.”
  - “And what's your friend's name? Dick Armey.”
  - “What's his name?|- Dick Armey.”
  - “Where the hell is Louie?|- You tell me.”
  - “What the hell? "El Dorado Cigarettes"?|That's who bought your company? Oh, my God!|They're trying to corrupt our children! Those bastards turned a whole generation|of Americans into smokers with subliminal advertising.”
  - “|- You make me sick, you fat sack of crap.”
  - “We need someone important like you|to go down to Washington and help those bastards see|what fun-loving people the tobacco industry's made of.”
  - “|Brian, could you pass me the TV guide? - Piss off!|- What? I'm sorry.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Why? Why did I have to go and smoke pot|when I was pregnant with you? Cheer up.”
  - “Hello?|- Mr Weed? I can't come to work today.”
  - “Peter?|- Oh Hi, Mr Weed.”

## S3 E4 — 4. One If By Clam, Two If By Sea
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0304.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Peter and his pals catch a beer-besotted version of the "Spirit of '76" when a Brit buys the Drunken Clam and turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie (also voiced by MacFarlane) plays 'Enry 'Iggins to Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “|One time during sex, I called Lois "Frank".”
  - “|It's that big sexy brain of yours.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “|- You think this is horrible? Try losin' a testicle|in a knife fight with your mother.”
  - “Bloody hell! My lunch was in that hat!|Egg and chips with jam butties.”
  - “"The life|of the wife is ended by the knife.”
  - “I think she's got it! "The life of the wife is ended by the knife By George, she's got it!|By George, she's got it! Now, what ends her wretched life? "The knife, the knife And where's that bloody knife?”
  - “John the Biter, the Berserk|Hobo, the Golden Autumn Day Strangler Maybe Steve won't remember you.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “(all laugh) Here's to The Drunken Clam, where they|don't ask for proof of age and neither do I.”
  - “Holy crap! It's a gay bar! They turned The Drunken Clam|into a British pub? Well, at least they still got sports on TV.”
  - “Welcome to the Quahog beer party.”
  - “|- Peter, what are you doin'? It may taste like a warm cup of|tobacco-chewer's spit, but it's still beer.”
  - “You know|there's a fat drunk guy in there.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Anybody get that?|- The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette".”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is that some kind of crack?|- Crack? You sayin' I got a fat ass? Fellas, fellas.”
  - “Hands up!|- Oh, Peter, you didn't! - Hey, fatty's wife is a babe.”

## S3 E5 — 5. And the Wiener is...
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0305.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg makes the flag-girl squad at James Woods High. That's "almost a cheerleader," she boasts, but it doesn't impress the cool kids. Meanwhile, Peter (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane) develops a severe case of Chris-envy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I care as much about the size of your penis|as you care about the size of my breasts.”
  - “I don't need to compete|with my son or his freakishly large penis.”
  - “Which is good, cos I finally have someone|to give this training bra to.”
  - “He's outside the underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 7 moment(s)
  - “|It constricts the blood vessels - Shut up.”
  - “I'm glad you want to join|the National Gun Association.”
  - “Holy crap! They're all so small! You see, Peter, the way we look at it,|a man's only as big as the gun he carries.”
  - “Let's face it, your kids will get|into your guns.”
  - “Hi! I'm Petey the pistol.”
  - “|I thought guns were bad.”
  - “I was so proud, I gave him a little congratulatory|punch in the arm.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “The end result of a drunken backseat|gropefest and a broken prophylactic? - I'm on the flag girl squad!|- Oh, honey, congratulations.”

## S3 E6 — 6. Death Lives
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0306.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter pays a price when he plays golf on his anniversary---he's struck by lightning. Adam Carolla provides the voice of the Grim Reaper, who guides Peter through his "near death experience," which leads to a "revelation" concerning Lois. Also, Peter offers the Reaper dating tips.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “|- (cocks gun) - There she is.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “|- (cocks gun) - There she is.”
  - “|- Oh, crap! If Lois finds out I'm ditching her,|she'll hit me with a frying pan.”
  - “What the hell?|"Lois, it's an anniversary scavenger hunt.”
  - “The hell with this.”
  - “No! Oh, crap! I'm late.”
  - “But this will! Aah! Aah! You bastard! - What the hell is going on out here?|- Actually, I, uh I, uh Actually, he wanted to ask you something.”
  - “Hey! Get out of the way! Damn.”

## S3 E7 — 7. Lethal Weapons
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0307.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: With a few tae-jitsu lessons under her black belt, Lois (voice of Alex Borstein) turns herself into Quahog's answer to Xena, cutting a wide swath through the hordes of obnoxious leaf-peeping tourists from New York. But soon her violent ways begin to hit home.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're in my seat,|and I had sex with your mother last night.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like Julie Andrews in that movie|where she showed her breasts.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Murderer! Stop it, both of you.”
  - “Left kick, right kick, punch combo, stomp.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Bring it on, bitch!|Now how you gonna act? Sheesh! Bringin' that trash in here.”
  - “(gasp) Leafers! Holy crap.”
  - “|- Move it! Damn leafers.”
  - “Wassup? Can I get two slices of pepperoni?|- (snarls) - Who are all these people?|- Damn New Yorkers.”
  - “Get off of me! Oh, my God! Stop fighting! - Holy crap!|- Oh, my God! Mom, you could be a world champion, and no one could hit you below the belt|cos girls don't have anything down there.”
  - “Are you crazy?|- What did you say? About the seat, or about|my ploughing your father's wife? - What the hell are you doing?|- Excuse me.”
  - “Krypton sucks.”
  - “Go back where|you came from, you bastards! We'll conclude the graduation ceremony|with a demonstration by the black belts.”
  - “Whoa! What the hell are you doing?|Those are my graham crackers.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Horace, put the|Pats game on the TV and get me a few beers.”
  - “The Drunken Clam? Why couldn't we go|someplace fancy, like The Olive Garden? The breadsticks!|Me likey breadsticks! Me likey - You're a big girl now.”
  - “I brake for yard sales,|but I don't let Peter buy anything he likes, like that Narragansett beer sign|where the hot chick has two mugs for jugs.”
  - “What are they gonna do? Cut our budget?|I'm gonna go get a beer.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You happy now?|- Don't you use that tone of voice, you - What were you gonna say? Fat ass?|- Wide load?”

## S3 E8 — 8. The Kiss Seen Around the World
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0308.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg (voice of Mila Kunis) gets an internship at a TV station. It's a dream job...because she thinks the station's male anchor is dreamy. But it turns nightmarish when the station's other intern, "the biggest dork on the planet," gets a crush on her. Meanwhile, a bully steals Stewie's tricycle.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “|Their breasts are too perky.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I have|a dismembered hooker bleeding in my trunk.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “The gunman's been identified as the|Mass Media Murderer who targets the press.”
  - “Mass Media Murderer? I think this would be a fine opportunity|to give our interns real-world experience.”
  - “They got these plastic disc guns.”
  - “(beep) Mr Tucker, Miss Simmons, there's a nut on|top of Town Hall with a high-powered rifle.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…my God, we're gonna die! There's|so much of life I haven't experienced! I never got the chance to be some|drunk college guy's last resort!”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meg, I strongly suggest you hold|my hand, lest you look like a slut.”

## S3 E9 — 9. Mr. Saturday Knight
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0309.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter's boss, Mr. Weed, dies suddenly (at the Griffins' house, as it happens), and the toy factory dies with him. Not surprisingly, Peter's "career transition" is less than smooth. Then he decides to follow his 25-year-old dream and become a jouster at Quahog's Renaissance Faire.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Madeleine, go wait in the Hyundai! What were you doing with my girl? She walks over here and asks me to put a bird|in her panties!”
  - “It's an exciting day here at|the Renaissance Fair, wouldn't you say, Tom? It would be if you didn't remind us all|of our grandmother's cleavage.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm trying to overcome|my fear of swords because a man in a pirate suit|stabbed me in the ear when I was five, and then again when I was 30.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “…sexually excited, doesn't it? Yes, sir! You want to make 16th-century|mathematician Johannes Kepler your bitch?”
  - “So, you think you got|what it takes to be jousters! If you're gonna joust, you gotta want it!|Let me hear your war cry! (whines) Is that the best you got, you pile of crap? Yes.”
  - “|- Damn rookies.”
  - “You bastard.”
  - “Take that, you bastard! Nobody|makes a fool out of Mort Goldman! Spectacular, maggot! How'd you like|to travel with us as our lead jouster? Thanks, but no thanks, Coach.”
  - “Remember|that episode of The Honeymooners when Ralph lost his job but didn't get it back? (Peter) Yeah, why was that?|That bugged the crap out of me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Invite Mr Weed to dinner|and show him what you have to offer.”
  - “Aaghhh! Mr Weed, I, uh was wondering if maybe you'd like to come to|my house for dinner Friday night.”
  - “Ha-ha-ha! Hey, you! Drunkie.”
  - “Yes, I'm calling you drunkie, and|there's nothing you can do about it Agh! - The toast is ready.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, what's your fat ass doing here? He's my only means of conveyance.”

## S3 E10 — Fish Out of Water
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0310.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: A jobless Peter decides on a line of work fit for "a real New England man": He becomes a fisherman. But there's something fishy about the bank that finances his boat. Meanwhile, Meg and Lois do some serious spring-break partying (Lois does, anyway) at Rhode Island's Narragansett Beach.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “|- Why the hell Margaret Thatcher? Oh, so nobody here thinks power is sexy? - Not one of you finds power sexy?|- How about you, Peter? The chick with the three knockers|from Total Recall.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “What the hell? Oh, dammit! (gasps) Hey, what's going on here? Did you read the fine print|on this loan contract? If by read, you mean|imagined a naked lady, then yes.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “We open today's bidding with this pair|of panties confiscated from a prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Not if I strangle myself|with a seaweed wrap and die.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “And half the weight! Ooh (sizzles) Hey, no! No! Hot! Lt'd be suicide to go after that fish.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “But not with you! Did you hear what happened|to that dude from UMass? He got so drunk he fell off|his hotel balcony!”
  - “|- Way to go on that beer bong.”
  - “Give me another beer.”
  - “Getting drunk and ditching you at the bar, and letting those boys take pictures|of you sleeping.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “How am I gonna come up with 50 grand? You could whore yourself out to|a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks apiece.”
  - “You can whore yourself out|to a thousand fat chicks for 50 bucks.”

## S3 E11 — Emission Impossible
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0311.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter helps deliver Lois's sister's baby, he and Lois decide to try to have another kid, but Stewie will attempt to foil their new plan.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “I found my baby book! Hey, here's the broken condom|that led to my birth.”
  - “As was your fate, Mr Fly, so is the fate|of every sperm in Peter's body.”
  - “(" Batman theme music) If I'm to reach the testicles and destroy the|sperm before coitus, I must buy some time.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “Fat man, we'll see if Lois|wants to have sexual relations when she finds lipstick on your collar.”
  - “All this time|spent keeping people from having sex! Now I know how|the Catholic Church feels.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm so happy! But she has a penis.”
  - “Nostalgic for the days|of chafed nipples and episiotomies? - Somebody hasn't heard the news.”
  - “You know, I'm not wearing any panties.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Those are Chris's socks, right? They don't know that Stewie's shirt|is having an affair with Meg's trousers.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Ha-ha-ha-ha! Who's got beer? - Where'd you go, my little pumpkin-eater?|- To the can.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “|I'll feel like a fatty.”
  - “Like I could! He's so fat.”

## S3 E12 — To Live and Die in Dixie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0312.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Waylon Jennings has a voice cameo in an episode in which the Griffins discover Southern hospitality---courtesy of the Witness Protection Program. They're in hiding because the convenience-store thief Chris fingers escapes from jail and vows revenge. But should he track Chris (voice of Seth Green) down, he'll have to contend with Sheriff Peter Griffin (series creator Seth MacFarlane).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “You wanna go down|to the old town bridge and make out? Yes, sir! And in the city,|glasses are considered really sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna draw boobs on the Etch A Sketch.”
  - “…the girth|- " Girth - " Oh, my fat baby loves to eat|- " Loves to eat "A big old Buddha belly|and her breasts swing past her feet "My fat baby loves to eat "My big ole fat-ass baby loves to eat (mimics John…”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Aha! I got you now, Griffin!|- Aaagh! - Not so fast, buddy!|- Who are you? You can call me Officer TJ Hooker.”
  - “Sheriff Officer TJ Hooker.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “(all scream)|- Somebody's in the closet! You know you're a redneck|when your gun rack has a gun rack on it.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “|- (beep) - Where are you?|- (beep) You're startin' to piss me off,|you little piggly son of a bitch.”
  - “They had to cut the crap out of my fur|before each taping.”
  - “I bet if we fixed it up a little bit,|it could be a piece of crap.”
  - “|- Kids, where's your father? (Peter and Brian) Yeee-haaa! - What the hell are you doing?!|- Blendin' in.”
  - “That sucks,|cos I really like spending time with you.”
  - “Yeah, well, see, I kinda pissed off the whole|town at that Civil War re-enactment.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “By the third season|I was completely wasted all the time.”
  - “|You just hang out here, eat pie and get drunk.”
  - “"Pie"? "Drunk"? "The"? You got yourself a sheriff! - (slurred) Boy, it's so quiet around here.”
  - “Brian, you're drunk.”
  - “|- What are you sayin'? That drunken idiot kicked your sorry asses|south of the Donna Dixon Line.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Get your fat ass back here.”

## S3 E13 — Screwed the Pooch
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0313.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter can't stop trying to impress Lois's father, Mr. Pewterschmidt, and Brian can't take his eye off Pewterschmidt's racing grayhound. Bob Barker has a voice cameo as himself. Series creator Seth MacFarlane provides the voices of Peter, Brian, Pewterschmidt, Bill Gates, an ape and a cockroach.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “But first I want you to testify|against that horny mutt of yours.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “Sexual deviant, or magic picture that if you|stare at it long enough, you see something? - Sexual deviant, but that one's not|- Thank you.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm going inside to have freaky sex with my|prostitute with whom I still have 45 minutes.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “|- Oh, I don't think I can You can beat him, Mr Pewterschmidt.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Carter, did you tell your son-in-law|he's not supposed to swallow the wine? Hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He said he'd give me a hundred dollars|if I took off all my clothes off.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, so I should treat him|like a high-class whore.”
  - “Stop! Brian, come quick! - Oh, my God! Those aren't my puppies!|- Then whose are they? (barking) You! You're a whore! A filthy, filthy whore! You must be so relieved.”

## S3 E14 — Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0314.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Chris adopts hip-hop speech, Peter (who can't understand a word he's saying) decides to teach his son about his roots. He makes a startling discovery. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes enchanted with the Buddy Cianci Junior High cheerleaders.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I gotta tell Bonnie|I'm sleeping with a black man! Oh, my God! Update! Exclam!|Scott Martin just asked me out again! Oh, my God.”
  - “We'll hook up later.”
  - “I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's|foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf havin' sex with Robert Fulton|at the first battle of Antietam.”
  - “What the hell does "rant" mean? "It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “(gasps) They're getting nude! I mustn't watch.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “There's a hunting knife|under your seats.”
  - “And when Arnold Jackson got|beat up by the Gooch, I was there.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “…tell you why "I got a hangnail|hangin' from my cuticle "A hangnail|It ain't beautiful "It hurts like a bitch that I did last night - Hey, what ya doin'?|- Just layin' back in the cot, peepin' at this here homey.”
  - “|The white man was makin' me his bitch.”
  - “What the hell? Holy crap, I'm black! But I-I can't be black.”
  - “…anything can happen "There's a chair that freakin' talks "There's some fish that give advice|Holy crap!”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oink, oink, fatty.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yo, did y'all check me when|that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? I was lookin' to break off somethin', but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank|and she's all about the bling-bling.”

## S3 E15 — Ready, Willing, and Disabled
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0315.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Joe, Quahog's disabled cop, is depressed after failing to nab a perp, so Peter suggests he compete in the Special People's Games as a confidence booster. His event: the decathlon. His competition: "a trash-talking quadriplegic" (voice of series creator Seth MacFarlane). Tony Danza and Valerie Bertinelli have voice cameos as actors playing Joe and his wife, Bonnie, in a movie.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “You got anything to give him|a little extra juice? You mean steroids? Peter, haven't you seen|what happens to those ladies on ESPN2? They get big hair faces and|their breasts become like flapjacks.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “|I've got a hooker coming over.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “|We'll be great big bitches.”
  - “In fact, by the end|of the day, we may all be going to hell.”
  - “(sings arpeggio) (computer voice repeats same note) Oh, crap.”
  - “You stupid bastard.”
  - “What the hell? I don't understand why he did that without|me.”
  - “|Why are you opening my mail? You weren't planning on going somewhere|with our $26, were you? For God's sake, I just had|the damn thing renewed.”
  - “Damn! Honey, I'm gonna be late tonight.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “|Grab a beer and watch the game.”
  - “Did he quit after gettin' arrested for drunk and|disorderly conduct at a football game? No.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God!|- Get your fat ass over to Joe's.”

## S3 E16 — A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0316.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: It may be the season, but Peter's anything but merry when holiday preparations prevent him from watching his favorite Christmas special, "KISS Saves Santa." And soon the family experiences the same lack of spirit when they're compelled to do last-minute shopping. Members of KISS provide their own voices.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I am the Virgin Mary.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “|Open mouth, no matter how drunk I am.”
  - “Somebody give me a beer.”
  - “Oh!|- I'm a cop first, a buddy second, so don't think I wouldn't throw|your drunk-driving ass in the slammer! All right, let's a-wassail! Stewie, honey, time for bed.”
  - “I don't have a hangover.”
  - “So I can drink beer and watch TV?|Because Kiss Saves Santa is on.”

## S3 E17 — Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0317.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian, depressed over bad luck in love, is convicted of DUI and sentenced to care for an ornery old woman whose past comes to the attention of celebrity watcher A.J. Benza. Meanwhile, Peter grows a beard, which displeases Lois (who isn't alone in thinking that it's for the birds).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “|I'm a pole in a strip club! Oh! - (alarm)|- It's showtime.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Opera's bitchin'! OK.”
  - “You're late! (undoing several locks) - What the hell is this?|- Delousing powder! Everyone on the outside is filthy! - You could have warned me.”
  - “It's gonna burn like hell in 30 seconds.”
  - “(" loud rock music) Get out of my beard,|you squawking bastard! Nothing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “…brought the hippie breed "And decades later|things have changed indeed "We lost the values but we kept the weed "You've got a lot to see "The Reagan years have laid the frame "For movie stars to play|the White House…”
  - “(cans rattle) I'll meet you at The Drunken Clam.”
  - “Remember when I gave|you apple juice and told you it was wine? - (drunkenly) You are a special person.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “(" "One" by Three Dog Night) You are a filthy whore.”
  - “…a family place with lots to do "Where in the '50s, a man could mingle|with scores of all the seediest whores "Now his children can, too "You heard it from the canine's mouth "The country's changed -|that is, except…”

## S3 E18 — From Method to Madness
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0318.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie displays some show-business talent---as long as he's paired with a girl he despises; Meg develops a crush on a teenage nudist. Fred Willard has a voice cameo as the boy's father (who's also a nudist).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “But then|I realised you'd be out five days a week, which means I'd be free to throw|some of my sexy parties.”
  - “Splendid! This calls for a sexy party.”
  - “|- The marquee or the other thing? - What other thing?|- The sex with Simon.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! She's got hair growin'|out of her boobs and up to her head.”
  - “You're, uh You're completely - Nude? Yes, we're nudists.”
  - “I can't believe you guys! How could you bring|that naked kid to our house? Because I like him.”
  - “Hey! Why is everybody else naked? Yahtzee! I win! Yeah! In your face! In your face! In your face! (screams) - I gotta go.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “|- You're not gonna fart again, are you? Well, I'd love to stay and chat,|but you're a total bitch.”
  - “What a piece of self-indulgent crap.”
  - “Oh, nuts I mean crap! - You wanna sit down?|- Wait a second.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “|Can I get you a beer, Peter? - What do you got?|- I've got Busch.”
  - “But it was wasted.”
  - “Wasted on all of you! Well, it looks like we have to|reconsider.”

## S3 E19 — Stuck Together, Torn Apart
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0319.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois runs into an old male friend from school and they renew their friendship. When Peter finds out, he gets jealous, to say the least. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie get themselves stuck together with industrial-strength glue. Jennifer Love Hewitt has a voice cameo as herself.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
  - “I guess it's better to go out|with you than some sex pervert.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Party of Five?|- Was that a porno? Sometimes you gotta do a lot of crap|before they put you in anything decent.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “We're stuck like this for a bloody fortnight?! - You cannot tell Lois about this.”
  - “|- Cleveland, don't! Minority suspect! Minority suspect!|Danger, he's got a gun!”
  - “(sneezes) Oh, God!|There's blood in my mucus! (buzzing) Agh! What the hell is wrong with you?! Hey, there's the mail! Oh, finally.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “|- You son of a bitch! I can't let Peter's irrational|emotions run my life! I'm gonna call Ross and see|if it's not too late for his offer.”
  - “I guess I finally understand (yells) (yells) You better run, you little bitch! I guess I finally understand|how you can get so jealous sometimes.”
  - “|- Oh, is that how it is? Come here, you home-wrecking bastard! Don't do it, Dad! He's bigger than you! And when you went to that concert? Thank you.”
  - “What the hell is this? The new police surveillance van.”
  - “Oh, my God! That is Lois!|Why the hell would she Whoa.”
  - “The power's not supposed to go that high! (man) Damn itch.”
  - “You hungry? - (siren)|- Oh, crap.”
  - “|Are you trying to piss off the volcano? Get my back, would you? Oh, that's it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Hey, Lois, can you grab me a beer? - Lois?|- Dad, I think she went out.”
  - “Lois, can you grab me a beer?|Oh, my God!”
  - “I wouldn't bring|A glass of wine.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Please! Where my eyes are half-closed?|- God, just take the damn compliment! - What is Lois doing with another man?|- Is it possible she's a whore?”
  - “Probably that skank who needed a ride.”

## S3 E20 — Road to Europe
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0320.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian and Stewie stow away on a plane they think is bound for England. They're wrong, and soon they're in Saudi Arabia, at the beginning of a long, strange trip back home. Meanwhile, back in the U.S., Peter and Lois have an odd encounter with KISS.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “(drilling) - We can go to KISS-Stock!|- (pained yell) (" theme music) - (Peter) Yo, Lois!|- What? I'm packing and can't find|my favourite underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “We were invited! Punch was served!|- You can't ignore those years.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Andy Dick here.”
  - “Don't have the guts to respond, huh?|No defence of this unmitigated crap? Commercial!|I'm getting some graham crackers.”
  - “KISS sucks!|- Whoa, whoa! - Trace the call!|- They suck big time, man.”
  - “|You want that, you high-voiced bastard?! We'll be right back after this.”
  - “So if you're a KISS fan in the Northeast, come out for all five shows|of what we're calling KISS-Stock! Hell, the Northeast! At times like this I curse|the fact that we live in French Polynesia.”
  - “Well, come on! - What the hell are you doing here?|- Taking you off this plane.”
  - “He drank and stored enough water|in his massive hump to slake the thirst of Cut the maudlin crap.”
  - “…accent) Whose stinky brat is this? That's not your voice! Your voice|is lyrical, like the strum of a lute! Piss off, ya grotty little wanker!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I vill hear no more insinuations|about Germans! Nothing bad happened! (yelling in German) - Uh, is that a beer hall?|- Oh, yes.”
  - “Munich is renowned|for its historic beer halls.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “"There's not a whole lot|that we've got to agree on "Cos I love the strains of a classical score "And I like that singer|who looks like a whore - Ricky Martin?|- Love him!”

## S3 E21 — Family Guy Viewer Mail (1)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0321.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Three mini-episodes. In the first, a genie grants Peter three wishes and he ends up being propositioned by Catherine Zeta-Jones (voice of Alex Borstein). Then, exposure to toxic waste gives the Griffins super powers (one per Griffin). Finally, in flashbacks, L'il Peter braves a haunted house (for awhile) to impress L'il Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “|Will you sleep with me? I'll have to pass.”
  - “I'll go microwave|a bagel and have sex with it.”
  - “"It seems today that all you see "Is violence in movies and sex on TV "But where are those|good old-fashioned values "On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, did you bring enough breasts|for the rest of the class? Hector, how long have we known each other? - Since first grade.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Have they ever shown him|do somebody in, then feed on him? You're asking if they've|done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody,|then sucks their blood for sustenance? - Yeah.”
  - “|I was checking my stool for blood.”
  - “I punched him so hard|he ran crying all the way back to hell! She'll have to believe that.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “|- Britney? What are you doing here? I was in the neighbourhood -|I'm gonna steal one of your beers - and I figured I'd stop by and say hi.”
  - “|They can be stopped! You can't stop us, Mayor West!|We are all-powerful! Clearly you've let yourselves|become drunk with power.”

## S3 E22 — When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0322.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems. When Peter wishes for a Jewish "money guy" to help them, Max Weinstein comes to the rescue. After meeting Max, Peter decides Chris could be successful if he converted to Judaism as soon as possible, but the plans for a "quickie" bar mitzvah in Las Vegas are quickly foiled by Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Enough foreplay.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”

## S4 E1 — 1. North by North Quahog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0401.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter decides to take Lois on a second honeymoon. But when things go awry, they end up posing as a famous actor/director to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they inadvertently discover a copy of "The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This." Peter and Lois attempt to destroy the film and end up in a high-speed chase with two Catholic priests hell-bent on saving the movie.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Our sex is so dull for you that you got to fantasize about George Clooney? I'm sorry, honey.”
  - “You know, Margaret, we could have sexual intercourse right now, - Yes, yes we could, - But, let's not, Do you think we were too hard on Chris tonight? What? Oh, God, no.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, I could hook this car battery up to my nipples.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - “You filthy, stinky prostitute.”
  - “Peter, there's a hooker on the bed.”
  - “They even got some of that high-class British porn.”
  - “Peter- - I don't want to talk about it! I'm just gonna watch British porn.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's just vodka.”
  - “Tucker, it seems your son Jake had some vodka at the schooI dance and Chris got blamed for it.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You fouI, venereaI-disease-carrying, streetwalking whore.”

## S4 E2 — 2. Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0402.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Chris' teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. All's well until Brian is moved to another class where he must teach troubled kids to aim low. Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to be with him if he kills her husband. But when Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she and Stewie conspire together to find answers and teach Chris a lesson.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, I brought you a condom.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - “Remember the naked spaceman, Lois? Yeah.”
  - “You remember the naked spaceman.”
  - “Our son can sometimes be a boob.”
  - “I mean, a sopping-wet pair of breasts barely covered by a racing t-shirt.”
  - “Taco! Good God! Look at the fat man's underwear.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “But without a decent education, you could spend the rest of your life as a ditch digger or a moteI maid or a hooker.”
  - “I could be a ditch digger? - A moteI maid? I could be a hooker? Well, no.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! Chris is gonna murder Mrs.”
  - “How is that close? For God's sake, Chris! You murdered Mr.”
  - “Premeditated murder is one thing, but I will not have Iying in this house.”
  - “It appears Ronald Lockhart has been brutally murdered by his wife, Lana, and a locaI bear.”
  - “Gross! You know what else is gross? Broke a damn blood vesseI! How's it coming, dog? God! Just listen to this kid's report on Great Expectations.”
  - “My God, his blood lust is unquenchable! Chris, why don't you take your sister into the kitchen for a sandwich? I don't want to die! Why is everybody acting weird? Chris, honey, we know what you did.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “"Miss Havisham should have throwed that cake out so it don't like "mess all up the bitch's house.”
  - “Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.”
  - “Will you all please excuse me for a moment? Tonight's winning lottery numbers are Oh, my God! I won! I'm free from all those snot-nosed, little bastards! I'm free! - Is she coming back? - I don't know.”
  - “What's he going to teach them? How to lick the Dorito crumbs from between the sofa cushions? Or how to leave a dead bird on the carpet? That was a gift, you bastard.”
  - “What's it like to have Brian as a teacher? It sucks! Mr.”
  - “Where's this bastard live? - I'll show you.”
  - “That's his house! - Take that! - I got it! Take that, you bum! What the hell are you doing? - Is that him? - Yeah! Oh, crap! Hello, class.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? Give that back! Man! Now, where were we? This is much better.”
  - “Lana, this is gonna be a reaI long trip if you don't knock off the crap! Love you.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You think we could put both our names on that? What? You've done nothing but eat Breyer's and smoke pot for the last six months.”
  - “And I love weed.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Know what I'm saying? - That's racist, man.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Do you have any idea what time it is? Get in the house, fatty! Chris, you big beautifuI man, I'm so glad you came.”

## S4 E3 — 3. Blind Ambition
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0403.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter becomes jealous of his friends' achievements - Mort bowls a perfect game, Joe gets a guilty Quagmire off on unsavory charges and Quagmire accidentally saves a woman's life - so he decides to break a Guinness record to achieve something that he will be remembered for after he dies. After accidentally blinding himself, Peter wanders into the Drunken Clam while it's on fire and unknowingly saves Horace from the flames, becoming a local hero.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Why didn't I clothespin the end of my penis like MurieI told me to? Oh, my God.”
  - “Naked plastic chicks.”
  - “My hands on your big soft boobs running down your big manlike Holy crap, it's Chris.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Beer, glass.”

## S4 E4 — 4. Don't Make Me Over
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0404.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Meg asks a cute boy at school on a date and he turns her down, she looks to her family for support. In an effort to cheer her up, Lois takes Meg to the mall, where she gets the ultimate makeover. Meanwhile, Peter tries to start a band with the guys, but it's Meg's new look that has the record producers singing their praises. So the Griffins form a traveling family band that takes them all the way to New York to perform on "Saturday Night Live".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Give me "Sperm Dumpster.”
  - “The people who beat you are proud to present, all the way from Quahog Fat, Horny, Black and Joe.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Me? Why? - Yeah, why? Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her out front, center stage.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster" and they're all written in glitter.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Who is she? God, I could strangle her all night long.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, Peter, just because you guys entertained a bunch of drunken idiots at a karaoke bar, doesn't mean you have what it takes to form a band.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “What about this, Meg? A pink baby tee that says "Little Slut?" - That seems pretty hip.”

## S4 E5 — 5. The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0405.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter hears screams coming from Cleveland and Loretta's house, he tries to help but discovers Loretta in a compromising position. Peter identifies the other man as Quagmire and decides to tell Cleveland of his wife's extracurricular activities. But when Loretta walks out on Cleveland he doesn't take it lying down.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Peter, he's the one we saw sleeping with Loretta!”
  - “Cleveland, Quagmire's sleeping with your wife! - What? - Quagmire slept with Loretta? Oh, my God, Cleveland! I am so sorry.”
  - “I had sex with your wife.”
  - “Why don't you come on over and we can try to get things back to the way they used to be? Remember how it was? Perhaps here there are many unsuspecting foxes to have sex with us.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Boy, that was embarrassing, huh? Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland having sex.”
- Affairs / cheating — 5 moment(s)
  - “Brian? If that wasn't Cleveland doing it with Loretta then Loretta's having an affair.”
  - “So I guess the only thing left to do is tell you that Loretta Brown is having an affair.”
  - “Which actually brings me to my next point: - Your wife's cheating on you.”
  - “Apologize? I cheat on you and you apologize to me? Cleveland Brown, you are pathetic! I disagree, but I respect your candor.”
  - “His wife cheated on him, kicked him out of the house and he doesn't seem at all affected by it.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “How's that feeI? You like that? Power of Christ compels you, bitch.”
  - “Lois, why the hell do we have to take a stupid CPR class? Because, Peter, none of us knew what to do when Joe was drowning.”
  - “Holy crap, a card with my name on it! I am now Peter Griffin, certified CPR.”
  - “Don't anyone panic! - What the hell are you doing? - You know, I don't think he's hurt.”
  - “Crap! Sir, do you know how loud you were reading? "The life of a silversmith's apprentice was not an easy one! " I got to figure out some way to get that card back.”
  - “Peter, knock it off! - Get you damn hands off me- - You like it dirty, don't you? What the hell are you doing? What is that in your pocket? - Lois! Somebody! - Quagmire's got you.”
  - “Damn it! This is awfuI! Somebody stop them! Do something! Good.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Work is their cocaine.”
  - “This is worse than when they took away my library card for reading while intoxicated.”

## S4 E6 — 6. Petarded
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0406.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: At a game night among friends, Lois lets Peter win at Trivial Pursuit, which leads Peter to gloat and think he's a genius. Brian knows the truth and challenges Peter to prove his intelligence by getting an IQ test. But when the test results determine Peter is legally mentally challenged, everyone ends up looking stupid.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Yeah, this will be a lot more fun than last Saturday when we went to see The Vagina Monologues.”
  - “Hey, let's compare breasts.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “Tucker, are you all right? Do I look like I'm all right? My back is broken and my leg is twisted! Oh, my God! Your hooker's dead.”
  - “Agent Jessup, look at all these prostitutes.”
  - “Seven prostitutes.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I forgot to pick up the paintball guns.”
  - “Peter, is it safe to be firing reaI guns at each other in the house? all right, all right, nobody fire at Lois.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, yeah? Well, would a mentally retarded guy have hired a bulldozer with a drunk driver to leveI half of his house in celebration of his fantastic test results? Maybe.”

## S4 E7 — 7. Brian the Bachelor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0407.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When "The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog, they recruit Brian to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. Brian wins her heart - and the final rose - but when the cameras are turned off, this romance made in TV heaven takes a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, Chris gets a horrible case of acne.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Glenn, will you accept this rose? Really? After I drugged you and tried to have sex with your unconscious body? - What? - Yes.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “See Diane's erect nipples at 11:00.”
  - “Peter, what's wrong with you? I am naked! Oh, God, you're self-conscious.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, how long have you been a prostitute? No, Doug, I will not lift up her shirt.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Brian, welcome home, you son of a bitch! So, did you loose? You got to tell me all about it.”
  - “Meg, how can you watch that crap? That show is not reallty.”
  - “And we're gonna raise some hell.”
  - “all right! Raise some hell! So, why would you be a good candidate on The Bachelorette? I would be perfect for your show because I know how to talk dirty to the ladies.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “But I figured I got a few days of free booze and food before they kick me off.”
  - “Top-shelf booze, I tell you.”
  - “Hey, Brooke, what do you say, we get you some more champagne? Sure.”
- Fat-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, yeah? I'm inside your head now, fatty.”
  - “Fat ass? - Yeah.”
  - “No! You okay, fat ass? She told me she loved me on what used to be a hit TV show.”

## S4 E8 — 8. 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0408.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter runs up a tab at the local pharmacy, the only way out of paying the bill is to sell Meg to the owner's son, Neil, who has been stalking her for months. But when Neil starts dating another girl, Meg becomes jealous and goes on the hunt to find a boyfriend of her own. Meanwhile, Stewie goes gaga over his hot new babysitter, Liddane.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you give me some condoms? And some Excedrin.”
  - “You wanna hook up? - Buy me something.”
  - “Oh, damn! I'm a monster! It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Besides, Cecilia thinks my psoriasis is sexy.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “You want me to kill myself and you're not going to.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Maybe you could try not being a bitch.”
  - “Are you out of your mind? You can't sell me, you fat son of a bitch! Whoa! CarefuI getting this fish off the hook, Mort.”
  - “Wait a minute, what the hell's a tab? Does that mean I don't gotta pay? - Well, not right now, but- - Ah, sweet! Hey, while I'm at it, give me all these copies of Marie Claire.”
  - “Damn! I'm terrible at meeting new people.”
  - “Peter, I need you to hold my ears Who wants chowder? What the hell? Hey, Meg, you better check this out.”
  - “…Now go back to the quad and resume your Hacky Sack tourney! I'm not gonna lie down for some frat-boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his SkoaI Bandits and his Abercrombie & Fitch long-sleeved, open-stitched…”
  - “Well, how about no more job? You hear that, Miss Fussy Britches? I shall see you fired, damn you! I thought we were going to go all the way and die together like Hitler and Eva Braun.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “They were doing marijuana and heroin.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder.”

## S4 E9 — 9. Breaking Out Is Hard to Do
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0409.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Lois is short on cash and can't pay her grocery store bill, she resorts to stealing. The adrenaline rush from shoplifting sends her on a stealing spree that spirals out of control and leaves her behind bars. Back at home, the family is a mess without Lois, so Peter and the kids decide to break her out of the clinker to get things back to normal.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “So I finally tried Viagra and- We got a joker in the audience there.”
  - “Let's have sex I do hope nothing happens to spoiI this fancy dinner party.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “This sucks worse than that time I did cocaine with KarI Malden.”

## S4 E10 — Model Misbehavior
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0410.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the Griffins visit Lois' parents, Lois realizes that her father prevented her from fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a model, so she returns to Quahog and hits the catwalk. Lois is an instant hit, but the glamorous world goes to her head and Peter has to step in to get her back on track. Meanwhile, Stewie starts a pyramid scheme business and hires Brian as his assistant.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Sorry, you have to sleep with Rob Schneider tonight.”
  - “I can't believe I'm sleeping with a modeI.”
  - “What are we gonna do with him? Hey, you wanna make him really mad, Lois? Let's have sex on his back like we used to.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Dad, how could you be okay with Mom parading herself around like this? I mean, she's half-naked.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “And now, to fire the starting gun is recently paroled presidentiaI assassin, John Hinckley.”
  - “You fired that gun reaI nice, John.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Lois, could I be a son of a bitch and impose on you to sign one of your flyers for me.”
  - “Can I talk to you about something? Yeah, what is it? That coffee mug you have on your desk that says, "Life's a beach" that's dangerously close to the word "bitch," isn't it? Yeah, that's the joke.”
  - “What the hell's going on out there? Damn it! People are trying to sleep.”
  - “Peter, I see you're still fatter than holy hell.”
  - “Damn these worms.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “So, which of the Latin countries are you from? The one with the civiI war, the one with the cocaine or the one with the fancy hats? Isn't this fun, Peter? You and I get to stay in my old high-schooI room.”
  - “I mean, she's acting crazier than I did that time I tried Ecstasy.”

## S4 E11 — Peter's Got Woods
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0411.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian attends a PTA meeting, he meets Meg's high school teacher and starts to date her. This new relationship puts a strain on Peter and Brian's friendship, so Peter finds solace in new best friend, James Woods. Meanwhile, -The Da Vinci Code- leaves Stewie unable to sleep .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Some flowery, 300-page, menopausaI masturbatory aid.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is there going to be any nudity? - Yes, I get naked.”
  - “You know what? You got mosquito-bite boobs anyway.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Just as I thought: “France, art murder? Well, this is a bigger surprise than that time Peter vanished into thin air.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “You're a bitch.”
  - “I'll act however I want to act, you son of a bitch! I'm sorry, Peter, I didn't mean that.”
  - “I can hear you, but I can't see Well, he must really be gone! - Peekaboo! - How the hell did you do that?”
  - “You think you have a crap job.”
  - “…What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? What are you I'm not a dog, you fat bastard!”
  - “Why don't you just mind your own damn business, Peter? Will you guys stop fighting, please? What's wrong with Meg? Oh, nothing.”
  - “He brought James Woods here? What the hell is he doing? Believe me, Peter does stupid things all the time.”
  - “'Cause if it's me under there again, I'm gonna be really pissed off.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “The drunk crooner? - That's Dean Martin.”
  - “I'm not going to avoid Peter like the drunk chick at a party.”
  - “What do you say you and me go get a couple of beers, maybe we could Fine.”

## S4 E12 — Perfect Castaway
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0412.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and the guys go on a fishing trip, they end up in choppy waters that leave them stranded on a desert island. Months later, the guys are rescued from the island and Peter returns home to discover the new man of the house has a bark that's worse than his bite.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh my, Chris, we can see your genitals.”
  - “Everyone's genitals are hanging out.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Do you hate your body so much you have to reduce every painting of the female form to pornography? Don't you do that.”
  - “…What the hell you looking at? I say, anybody listen to Howard Stern this morning? He had some strippers in the studio.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “" Come here, you son of a bitch! Why do you close your eyes when we make love? I wonder how your father's first day at work went? - Dad, what the hell are you doing? - Yeah, hey, buddy.”
  - “Man, those villagers were so pissed.”
  - “Well, where the hell would he get an idea like that? Wait a second.”
  - “Brian, what the hell is wrong with you? I didn't do it on purpose.”
  - “Damn it! This is worse than being Kevin Federline's magic mirror.”
  - “Magic mirror, how can I look like a douchebag today? Well, Kevin, I would say, first of all, don't shave or shower.”
  - “Well, if you're happy then I'm happy, because after all What? My job sucks.”
  - “Hey, Brenda, what've you got for me? Coffee? Damn, your ass looks hot.”
  - “Why are we staying? Because I'm tired of being treated like crap at work.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “"Cowboy, astronaut "warlock, more powerfuI astronaut, beer expert.”
  - “I got a case of wine coolers, so we can drink every time Ryan seethes.”
  - “How'd you get the wine coolers? Oh, it's I just did some stuff for a guy in the parking lot.”
  - “I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries and Do you sell pants? Hey, Meg, what's with all the beer cans? My dad got a job at the brewery and he gets lots of free beer.”

## S4 E13 — Jungle Love
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0413.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Chris discovers he'll be hazed as part of a high school ritual, he runs away to South America, where he assimilates to the uncivilized, tribal culture. Meanwhile, Peter is forced to look for a job, but after several failed attempts he decides he's tired of starting at the bottom of the ladder. While Peter visits Chris in the South American jungle, tribal members treat him like a god, but both Peter and Chris learn that they can't run away from their problems forever.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “Don't you mean a condom? Meg, hefty, hefty, hefty.”
  - “I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.”
  - “Anybody horny? - No.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Wanna make out? - Absolutely not.”
  - “And I can be sexy.”
  - “And to think, Brian, I was, like, a day away from having sex with you.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meanwhile, under Meg Griffin's bra.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Lois would never cheat on me.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “So, let us now take our vengeance on this murderous ocean.”
  - “They are God's little punch lines.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “The tiniest prick will pop these things.”
  - “You got jacked, bitch.”
  - “God! Damn! Stupid penguins.”
  - “What the hell is that? Oh, my God.”
  - “Holy crap! We're rich! Rich? I'll tell you what's rich.”
  - “Did you rape her? What were we talking about? - That's a hell of a catch, Peter.”
  - “…these gifts for you They're up in my bum And everyone's favorite Look at the bells, look at the bells Holy crap, here come Jesus And he doesn't look too happy Merry Christmas, everyone.”
  - “You bastard! You have food? - I don't know what you're talking about.”
  - “You bastard.”
  - “Damn it! I'm sorry, what? You know, with colorfuI pictures of ice cream treats.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Is this scotch tape? You drunk.”
  - “Especially when you provide the free beer.”
  - “Yeah, like we could get her drunk and take turns having sex with her.”

## S4 E14 — Ptv
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0414.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After a controversial mishap occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter's favorite television shows. Peter retaliates by creating his own TV station - PTV - which he operates out of the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create some edgy hits for the station, until the FCC shows up and starts to regulate their everyday life.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “John Boy? - Can't a guy masturbate? Peter, look at these numbers.”
  - “What? Wait, we're not allowed to have sex? You can have sex, just no moaning, no tongue kissing, no thrusting, no movement whatsoever.”
  - “I haven't had sex in two weeks.”
  - “I'm Peter Griffin, and you're watching PTV, with your favourite shows as nature intended them - with all the sex, violence, swearing and farts intact, like in All in the Family, where Archie got the Jeffersons to move.”
  - “I want you to cancel that show with the animals having sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “…yourself with some young, sexy thing You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling Cos you can't say "penis" So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst And they stuck it in your mailbox…”
  - “Looks an awful lot like a penis, doesn't it? The Capitol Building - quite obviously a giant boob.”
  - “Hi, and welcome to The Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour, a wonderful look back on all the partial nudity network television used to offer.”
  - “Look at that side boob.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “Mr "I Can't Do A Suicide Bombing Because I'm Sick".”
  - “It's a suicide bombing.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! Took you this long to tell me.”
  - “What are you doing? What is all this stuff? Dad's starting his own TV station, but I'm not supposed to tell Mom because she'll just bitch him out.”
  - “Everyone will be, like, "What the hell?" Death to Americans.”
  - “Who the hell is that? Peter, it's 5:30 in the morning.”
  - “Man, this sucks worse than my 16th birthday party.”
  - “You cheeky bastard.”
  - “We're here on the I95 overpass doing our first segment, "I Dare You To Crap Off Of That".”
  - “We'll spend the day crapping off things that others have dared us to crap off.”
  - “Damn! And the motion carries.”

## S4 E15 — Brian Goes Back to College
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0415.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian lands a job with the prestigious New Yorker. However, his college dropout status haunts him so he decides to go back to Brown University to get his degree. As Brian struggles to pass his class, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, Peter and his friends combine forces to help the city.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “If this is Mom, send money because we're college students and we need money for books and highlighters and ramen noodles and condoms for sexual relations with our classmates.”
  - “That's where I go to make out with my boyfriend, Darren Mitchellstork.”
  - “Make sure you practise safe sex, Meg.”
  - “I hear they have great make-up sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Hey, Mrs Garrett, can I ask you something? - What is it, Jo? Is it a problem if your penis and your vagina touch? What? I try to keep 'em separated, but I woke up this morning and they were sort of together.”
  - “Right, because of my penis.”
  - “What's the point? I thought I could help people with this A-Team thing, but it turns out I'm as useless as that nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I cheated on that assignment.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “That assignment I turned in You know, Brian, before you came along I was so depressed I was planning to kill myself.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “It's like, "She's naked, but who gives a shit?" Oh, my God, I overslept.”
  - “Don't you think it's time to take off your A-Team costume? Yeah, I guess so, but part of me wished we could just be the A-Team forever, you know? Oh, this damn chair keeps wobbling.”
  - “Yeah! - All right! - Yeah! Let's do it! This is advanced physics, right? I have a right to defend myself as a woman! - No means no! - What the hell is wrong with you? I'm sorry.”
  - “Who the hell are you guys? We're the A-Team.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “Excuse me, it's been brought to my attention that a few bad apples are smoking marijuana.”
  - “Marijuana's illegal.”
  - “These men promptly returned home and drank some beer.”
  - “Hey, what's up B-Ri? - Stewie, just give me a beer.”
  - “Ah, Brian, I am glad you could come to my faculty cocktail party.”

## S4 E16 — The Courtship of Stewie's Father
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0416.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Stewie intensifies his efforts to kill Lois, she thinks he is acting out and orders Peter to spend more time with him. They begin to do some bonding until a theme park outing ends disastrously. Meanwhile, Chris does some bonding of his own when he develops a friendship with Herbert after breaking his window.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Big women are sexy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip club? He smells like sweat and fear.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “That rice got you, bitch.”
  - “Surprise! - What the hell are you doing at my house? I asked around and everybody said you liked animals, so I organised a surprise cockfight.”
  - “Damn! She moved.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? What do you think I'm doing? I'm bonding with Stewie.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's good old-fashioned family racism.”

## S4 E17 — The Fat Guy Strangler
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0417.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Lois drags Peter to the doctor for a physical, his prognosis is clear: he's too fat. This news drives Peter to form the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, Lois discovers her long-lost brother, Patrick, and fights to get him released from an insane asylum. But a string of fat guys go missing soon after, and Peter and the NAAFP ban together to get to the bottom of it.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “It's great to eat with my family instead of a bunch of chronic masturbators.”
  - “You got a condom? Never mind.”
  - “You don't deserve to have sex with me.”
  - “You're so sexy.”
  - “This is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceros who doesn't love you.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I bet none of you can even find your own penis.”
  - “Find your penis for a dollar.”
  - “This'll be worse than when Peter did Tara Reid's boob job.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “The body of a local fat man was found murdered in Quahog Park last night.”
  - “Patrick is the murderer.”
  - “Put the gun down, Joe.”
  - “The fat-guy strangler lives here and there's a fat guy in the house.”
  - “The fat-guy strangler's gonna get us.”
  - “So he has pictures of himself strangling fat guys.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Because I found this picture - Dick.”
  - “Take that, you bitch.”
  - “Whore, slut, bitch.”
  - “What the hell.”
  - “Eat the damn steak.”
  - “What the hell? What is this? What is this? Some kind of gag? No.”
  - “That's a bunch of crap.”
  - “My God, look at you fat bastards.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah? Marian just called you a homo.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Whore, slut, bitch.”
  - “I'm gonna eat the whore out of you.”

## S4 E18 — The Father, The Son and the Holy Fonz
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0418.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mishap leaves Stewie stuck living in a bubble, Peter searches for a new religion finding faith in his television hero the Fonz. But -Happy Days- are not quite here as the newly established Church of the Fonz struggles to retain its members.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I haven't been this disappointed since I lost my virginity.”
  - “Last night I had sex with a teenage blonde and her mom.”
  - “I'll talk to him, Lois, but when my dad wants something, it's like sex with Kobe Bryant.”
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “A vagina? - Get out! Hey, Stewie, three o'clock.”
  - “Genital warts! But you said I should look into my heart to find my religion.”
  - “I'm just saying, '70s boobs were different.”
  - “Nothing says "eat up" like a bleeding half-naked Jew nailed to a piece of wood.”
  - “Honey, now I want you to visualise Lindsay Lohan naked, doing a backwards crab walk.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Be careful next time you're at confession talking about cheating on your wife with that drag queen.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look out! - What are you doing? I thought that dot on your head was from a sniper rifle.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Lois, you haven't changed a bit, you lying bitch.”
  - “I cooked the damn dinner.”
  - “Francis, why the hell is this always an issue with you? Because I love this family and I don't want my grandson to burn in hell.”
  - “You really think splashing magic water on Stewie will keep him out of hell? Watch that talk or you'll get your heathen head smacked! Very Christian.”
  - “If we get Stewie baptised, you and all other old people have to acknowledge and be aware there's crap in the corners of your mouth.”
  - “You bastard! He meant The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.”
  - “I ought to take off my belt and slap the crap out of him! Look, I don't like you and you don't like me.”
  - “Cos it's not the money, it's about pissing off Daddy.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's a portal, an opening, through which all light, rejuvenation, joy and ecstasy may enter the human form.”
  - “Yeah? - Hey, can you grab me another beer? Yeah.”
  - “Nancy, get me a beer.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “His folksy racism, his "I don't care where I am" flatulence.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Your wife's a Protestant whore and your baby isn't even baptised! All right, Dad.”
  - “And she's a whore.”

## S4 E19 — Brian Sings and Swings
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0419.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After an accident lands Brian in the hospital, he has a near-death experience that leads him to take a new lease on life. He finds a passion for singing and develops a new nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his "live in the moment" lifestyle only goes so far. Meanwhile, Meg's sexuality swings the other way.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “How come I rich and you not? How come you not sell real estate like I do? How come I sleep with your wife while you at work then pee in your toilet and don't flush?”
  - “And like I tell you every day, if I come back in the afternoon and you're having sex with somebody, I'll kill you both.”
  - “Well, that's not Nova at all, is it? That's a sex tape I made with my wife.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Those are huge! Those are huge boobs.”
  - “We're checking out naked girls.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Brian, don't you think it's a little too early to be hitting the booze? Why wait? You gotta live life while you can and live it hard.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like the time Peter pretended to be racist to get out ofjury duty.”

## S4 E20 — Patriot Games
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0420.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a big-shot millionaire to impress his classmates, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control. Peter makes a drunken run for the bathroom that impresses Brady and lands Peter a spot on the New England Patriots football team. Life is great for the Griffins until Peter's new high profile goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie .
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Besides, Sunday's my Internet porn night.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, Mike Tyson once beat up his wife.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “That all you got, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Hell, give me Well, you're in good company.”
  - “Yeah, that hurt? That hurt? - What the hell? Yeah, that doesn't feel so good, does it? - No, huh? - Oh, oh.”
  - “Damn it, Griffin! I said no showboating! This calls for a victory tune! Now, a woman who'll kiss on the very first date is usually a hussy.”
  - “Griffin, you're fired! - For what? - We've had it with your crap.”
  - “And they're coming straight at us! We'll take my carriage! Ah, crap.”
  - “Well, I'm still here, you bastards! So let's do this! Oh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Peter, I know you're humiliated, but getting drunk is not the answer.”

## S4 E21 — I Take Thee, Quagmire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0421.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question. But when Quagmire's bachelor tendencies resurface, he takes some serious steps to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Stewie fights against breast-feeding withdrawals when Lois tries to wean him.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - “Ow, damn, that hurts! What happened? I was breast-feeding Stewie and he bit me again.”
  - “Breast'feeding's just so painful since Stewie's teeth are coming in.”
  - “Why do you bring me here?! Ah! Brian, my breasts are so sore, and they've gotten so engorged from the weaning, I've gone up two bra sizes.”
  - “By the way, you call those cheap implants boobs? Those aren't boobs, they're lies! I can't believe it.”
  - “I can't believe how much my breasts have swollen.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “All right, Quagmire, time for your lap dance.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! I just took a shot in the dark! Holy crap! Okay, you have $1,300.”
  - “On the great space coa - Shut up, Ricky! Just shut up right now! Unless the next words out of your mouth are directions how to get back to the fish skeleton, I'm going to punch you right in the stomach.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “She was suicidal.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We brought you guys a bottle of wine.”

## S4 E22 — Sibling Rivalry
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0422.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy. But after the operation, Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent. When Lois packs on some extra pounds, Peter's interest is renewed and things heat back up in the bedroom until her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother and archrival Beltram confronts him and they declare an all-out war for control over the playground.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “…Then you snip the fibrous tissue - Then you snip the fibrous tissue Hey, but, you'll never have to wear a condom When you do it with your wife Or anyone else you do it with We promise not to tell Like that new hot…”
  - “You could freeze some of your sperm at the sperm bank just in case.”
  - “We'd like a vial of sperm and an applicator that looks like Jody Foster's knuckles.”
  - “We haven't had sex since your vasectomy.”
  - “You know, that little wrinkle that fat people get on their elbows that looks like a schwa? I mean, you wouldn't have sex with her, would you? - Oh, yeah, I would.”
  - “After all, sex is pointless without potency.”
  - “It's no reason to give up on your sex life.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Much better than that night you pretended your penis was Danny Aiello.”
  - “She's got elbow cleavage.”
  - “He's got a clown costume in his trunk, so we know he's good with kids, and pictures of boys in their underwear, so he's probably had some medical training.”
  - “There were so many boobs, I didn't know whose boobs I was grabbing, your boobs or my boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “That guy on the grassy knoll's got a gun.”
  - “What the deuce is all the commotion? All right! Out of my way! Move aside! What the hell is so bloody fascinating? You! Well, well, well.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Easy, easy, girl.”

## S4 E23 — Deep Throats
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0423.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he's corrupt. Determined to expose his shady ways, Brian and Stewie go undercover and discover that Meg is in deeper than they thought. Meanwhile, a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk singing days. Unfortunately, they also revert back to their hippie ways and Chris must stage an intervention.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “He wants to have sex with me so bad.”
  - “…go behind the Applebee's and do it? Huh? You want to just go have some dirty, stupid, insane parking lot sex?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “I am going to the press with this story, and when it hits, it'll be bigger than Uncle Sam's nipples.”
  - “Jeez! What the hell? Uh, they're called nipples, guys.”
  - “Well, uh, you two are busy being nude.”
  - “So, uh we'll just, uh, head out and, uh let you be nude.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, it's just some fat hooker.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Freakin' shot in the dark.”
  - “What? You got a gun? Well, yeah.”
  - “Every cabbie carries a gun Give me the gun.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! Hey, Brian, you see that magazine cover right there? See who's on it? Yeah, that's Jessica Alba.”
  - “What? I said ram her! What the hell?! - Now shoot her tires out.”
  - “What the hell is wrong with you, Peter?! You could've killed me! Yeah, but I got you good, Lois.”
  - “" Yeah, yeah, that song sucks.”
  - “He's a corrupt bastard.”
  - “I finally got the "T" right-side-up, and then you come in here You're a bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “And here we thought the weed was inspiring us.”
  - “Well, that's a popular misconception, Mom and Dad, but the fact is, the chief ingredient in marijuana is THC, a mild form of acid, prolonged usage of which can cause adverse effects to your sexual potency…”
  - “Oh, my God, Peter, I am so wasted.”

## S4 E24 — Peterotica
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0424.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After reading an erotic novel, Peter decides to write one of his own and gets Carter to publish it. But when Carter gets sued for Peter's book on tape, he loses all his money and is forced to become a middle-class citizen, much to his chagrin. Meanwhile, with the flick of a switch, Chris becomes a genius and competes with Stewie to take over the world.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Dawson, I'm just not ready to give up my virginity.”
  - “What?! You never seen a handicapped man before?! They're polyurethane sex toys, Joe.”
  - “I bought it at that sex shop.”
  - “I got to tell you, I've read 4 chapters of this, and it's not sexy at all.”
  - “" Well, sounds sexy.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What you got there? - This? It's a gun.”
  - “Although, to be honest, I'll probably just cancel it before you can use it, so Give me that hole punch! Is this your hole punch or the train company's? Well, that's, you know, I got to pay for that.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “I just got a subpoena regarding an erotic novel, and I'm looking for the son of a bitch responsible.”
  - “You want an eye booger? Oh, damn you, Chris! Look what you've done! I'm training for the Olympics, and I need absolute concentration! Look at him.”
  - “What's up? - Good Oh, damn it.”
  - “Daddy, what are you doing? Your fat bastard husband ruined me! I lost my home, my money, and, perhaps just as serious, my wife left me! - Mom left you? - Yeah.”
  - “Go to hell, fat head! Have I use that one? No, I haven't.”
  - “All you've done his hole life is treat him like crap.”
  - “Who the hell am I kidding? I can't live like this.”
  - “The bus smells like crap, the movie theater is sticky, and Renee Zellweger should only be the cute friend at best.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “What do you want, homo? - Listen, uh, Mr.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “And even if they were, who cares? They're whores.”

## S4 E25 — You May Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0425.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: While visiting the Griffins, Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged to his partner and wants to be married in their home. But when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog to cover up an unrelated scandal, Brian becomes a crazed activist and resorts to hostile ways to change the mayor's decision. Meanwhile, Lois questions her view toward gay marriage and Chris joins the extremist "Young Republicans" group to win a girl's heart.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's not like we're gonna have a gay sex orgy in the living room.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, this is one fine day to be nude Yeah, this is one fine day to be nude The birds are saying "Clinton, have a wonderful spring" And people…”
  - “Why? Because if you do, I'll let you touch my boobs.”
  - “My petition! What the hell are you doing? I'm going to get to touch right-wing boob because of this.”
  - “Whoa, whoa, I said you could touch my boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Let's take a blood sample, Mr.”
  - “If instead of human blood, you find a deadly corrosive acid, you've got a gay.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Go smoke a fatty.”

## S4 E26 — Petergeist
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0426.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Joe builds a new home theater system, Peter tries to top it by building a multiplex in his backyard and discovers an Indian burial ground. But when he takes an Indian chief's skull, the house becomes haunted and Stewie pulls a "Carol Anne" and gets sucked into the television. Unfortunately for the Griffins, getting Stewie back from the poltergeist is just the beginning.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “We're playing sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck - So many nipples.”
  - “And touch her penis.”
  - “You know, Brian, I really don't think you should breast-feed the skull.”
  - “I'm not breast-feeding.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, how about you and my father go and hang out at the gun range some afternoon and you can spend the whole day just agreeing with each other.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…use your imagination, like maybe a piece of luggage, that shoots dog biscuits, so, like, if you had, like, weed in your bag and you went to the airport, you could shoot the dog biscuits out, and then, the drug dog…”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, I've heard they all look alike.”

## S4 E27 — Untitled Griffin Family History
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0427.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the Griffins get robbed, the family runs into Peter's panic room to escape the trespassers. Now isolated and trapped, Peter insists the family know about their ancestry and narrates a chain of events in world history that explain the Griffin name. Meanwhile, after Meg is chosen to go back into the house, she scares off the robbers in an unexpected way.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “As a poet might say, she was the kind of woman you just want to have sex with over and over.”
  - “People want Peter wheel thanks to sexy wife.”
  - “Unfortunately, they're pressing sexual harassment charges against your daughter.”
  - “Your daughter's a sexual predator.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “With the kind of breasts you just want to push together so she looks like a cross-eyed torso.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey! A flare gun.”
  - “Sweet! - That's what a gun sounds like.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “I hate you all! I hate you, too, bitch.”
  - “What the hell's your problem, you dumbass? What the deuce is all the commotion? Quick, everyone get in the attic.”
  - “I wish I could escape to a place where this movie couldn't find me," - and then - What the hell are we waiting for?! These monitors are for watching the house.”
  - “" - Damn it! - "Mancow in the Morning.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, what do you say we all head over to the Buzenpuken, eh? Free beer on this motherfuhrer! Eh?! Come on! Well, that's pretty much all there is to tell, kids.”

## S5 E1 — 1. Stewie Loves Lois
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0501.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Lois saves Stewie's beloved teddy bear, Rupert, he starts to think that maybe he shouldn't kill his dear old mom and clings to her like a baby blanket. However, Stewie's change in demeanor doesn't go over well with Lois and she gets sick of all of his loving attention. Meanwhile, Peter undergoes a prostate exam and thinks his doctor is molesting him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I only went in there for a physical/ guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig for his sexual experimentation.”
  - “Our top story, a local woman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.”
  - “Peter, isn't there anything I can do to talk you out of this lawsuit? Hey, I was violated sexually, and that man is going to pay.”
  - “Hey, Lois, want to make out? Yeah.”
  - “What do you think of new sexy-lips Peter? Yeah.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Lois, your breasts are great.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You sound just like him! Fucking idiot.”
  - “Oh, you like staring? Oh, why don't I give you a closer look? Yeah, you want some of this, Maury Po'bitch? Oh, oh, what's that? Oh, you come back for more, huh? I'd freaking drop her ass.”
  - “What the hell are you gonna do? You don't have any superpowers.”
  - “Damn it, this is too hard! Here's what I think of your test, Mr.”
  - “So, how's this work, you just feel my pulse or - What the hell was that? - Mr.”
  - “And so am I! Oh, God, it was horrible! I scrubbed, and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough! My God, we've all been victims of Dr.”
  - “I am going to sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Who's that? Who are you? Where's Peter? Where is he? You're a whore.”
  - “Wear your whore makeup, you whore.”

## S5 E2 — 2. Mother Tucker
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0502.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter's mother announces that she is getting a divorce, Peter feels abandoned until he finds a father figure in his mom's new boyfriend, Quahog's resident anchor man, Tom Tucker. Peter takes such an interest in Tom that he reverts to being a child again, but things aren't all fun and games for long. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own NPR-style radio show, but when Stewie hears the news, he can't help but stir things up.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “We now return to the Sunday afternoon movie: Masturbator and Commander.”
  - “Hey, I got an idea: How about the first three women willing to come down and have sex with Hank get free boob jobs courtesy of Dr.”
  - “D- i-n-g-o! D- D-Dingo! Dingo and the Baby! Oh, sexy girlfriend! Peter, would you stop spying on your mother's date? I can't stand it anymore, Lois.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Um, could you tell Tom his contagious penis cancer medicine is ready.”
  - “Tell me something, Sindy, how'd you like to come down here and get naked for us? Sure.”
  - “We're going to turn on the hot dog cannon, and for every hot dog that you catch in your mouth, you get a $100 toward a boob job that you desperately need.”
  - “Hundred dollars, boob job! I'm, uh, going to go.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Did you have a good time at your prostitutes convention? Peter, I was just trying to help your mother meet some new friends.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “Join us next week, when our guest will be Gore Vidal.”
  - “Cut it out! Stop it! I mean it! I mean it! Well, I told you to stop! I tickle you, you hit me in the head with a frying pan?! I told you to stop! I taste blood! Well, there's a lot of it.”
  - “…and strut out Give me the simple life Some find it pleasant dining on pheasants Those things roll off my knife Just serve me tomatoes and mashed potatoes Give me the simple life.”
  - “Gore Vidal! I was supposed to do The Lunch Hour? Uh this is The Lunch Hour.”
  - “Can I get you some punch? Oh, no, you see, if you're one of ten million Americans like me Like me.”
  - “with a bladder control problem, punch just goes right through you.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker trying to get back on my feet after having my ass handed to me by my bitch of an ex-wife.”
  - “Well, then who the hell's been talking this whole time? Thelma! Hello, darling.”
  - “Can I take your order? Yes, uh, I'll have a big helping of the pretentious crap.”
  - “You got to call dad and get back together with Holy crap! We'll have more on these new developments after this.”
  - “1 Quahog! Oh, baby! What the hell are you doing? Wha-What the hell does that have to do with anything? They're just wacky sounds, you know to liven things up.”
  - “Ow, Peter, don't pinch me! Ow! Ow stop it! Knock it off, damn it! Cut it out.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “And now he's dead! They're both dead! I don't give a crap about Woodstock, but Snoopy Get off me, you skank! I can't believe you left Dad.”

## S5 E3 — 3. Hell Comes to Quahog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0503.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter buys a military tank with Meg's money, her car fund goes out the window and she's forced to get a job at the newly built Superstore in town. However, the town's economy begins to suffer when Superstore puts all the mom-and-pop shops out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands in order to save the town from the corporate giant.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “And we're gonna keep on drinking until we each uncover repressed memories of sexual abuse by a trusted religious official.”
  - “If I were a woman, I would press my bare boobs up against glass in public just for the sexual thrill! The sexual thrill! How do I stop?! Use the rubber stoppers on the front.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, hey, guys, I was just catching up on some plunger nipples.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “…And my hatred keeps me warm A wolverine, so you Russians best be warned Shooting Commies, drinking deer blood Peeing in the radiator Look up there, here comes a really angry Russian helicopter It has been a red dawn.”
  - “Boccie balls! I bought a tank! Are you out of your mind?! Let me show you how the gun works.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Dude, those animals are so fucking funny, they make me want to merge without looking! Yeah! Rumsfeld! Hi, there, can I help you folks? Yeah, uh, my daughter's looking for a car that goes with her personality.”
  - “Ha! you are earth's bitch! Morning, civilians.”
  - “What the hell?! No, no, no, no, no, no! Hey, Peter, can you blow that towel rack down here? Thank you.”
  - “Oh, my God! Joe, my God, what happened? You just ran over me, you bastard.”
  - “Man, this sucks worse than Easter Sunday at Richard Gere's house.”
  - “You know what, just get the hell out of here.”
  - “Ah, this sucks.”
  - “That damn Superstore's ruining everything.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Who's sober enough to drive? Ah, okay, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk where you're a better driver because you know you're drunk?”
  - “I'm that kind of drunk.”
  - “Superstore USA has their own brewery on-site and can sell beer at a much cheaper price.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Meg, what happened? Fat Ass and his drunk friends left me at the roller rink.”
  - “What are you waiting for? Dad, I'm sorry I have to say this, but you're a fat ass who's completely incapable of performing the simplest tasks.”

## S5 E4 — 4. Saving Private Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0504.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Chris is approached by an Army recruiter, Brian goes to the headquarters to give him a piece of his mind, but Stewie tags along and gets them both enlisted in boot camp. The two make it through training with no help from Sergeant Angryman and end up in Iraq, where they try everything possible to get an honorable discharge. Meanwhile, at home base, Chris joins a Goth rock band and their hit track is -Evil, Evil Monkey-.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “You know, it's really hard to masturbate with you guys talking.”
  - “Chris, what the hell is going on with you lately? Ever since you hooked up with this band, you're like a completely different person, and I don't like it one bit.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Who does he or she think he or she is? Look, you can totally see his or her nipples.”
  - “We've gotta find this Marilyn Manson and I gotta give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “…sounds awesome! And the recruiter said, with any luck, I could get the clap from a 12-year-old Chinese prostitute.”
  - “"I rip it hardcore like porno-flick bitches.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “We both got shot in the foot, so we figured an honorable discharge would be in order.”
  - “How about, " I wanna rock and roll all night, party some days, "and on the other days maybe just hang out and watch a movie"? Sounds like you guys could use some fresh blood.”
  - “Hey, is that the M9 double-action pistol? - Sure is.”
  - “Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just want to punch her in the face.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Now, the marines, those are the men you want to fuck.”
  - “"I rip it hardcore like porno-flick bitches.”
  - “We've gotta find this Marilyn Manson and I gotta give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.”
  - “Damn it! - That's what I thought.”
  - “I mean, I'm just saying, what does he need a desk for? Who the hell cares? I'm just saying, it's weird.”
  - “What the hell's wrong with you? Your skin's, like, moving around or something.”
  - “Over, we're coming over And we won't come back till it's over, over there Commercial! Damn! Play me some filler, Johnnie.”
  - “It's time for you to piss off, redhead.”
  - “"I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Maybe if she spent some time on the treadmill, and I was drunk.”
- Homophobic jokes — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm I'm a homo.”
  - “I am so gay with my gayness.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, way to stand up for your woman there, fatty.”

## S5 E5 — 5. Whistle While Your Wife Works
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0505.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter hurts his hand and his boss Angela tells him he needs to pick up the pace, Lois goes to the brewery and helps him play catch-up. Meanwhile, when Stewie discovers that Brian is dating a very attractive but intellectually challenged girl named Jillian, he tries to convince Brian to break up with her, but Brian can't close the deal because she is so hot.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “I think it would be so hot for you and me to have sex in my office.”
  - “Brian had sex with a really dumb girl Now he's taking his friend Stewie to get some ice cream In his car Oh, you're a poor sport.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “So I figured we could get together tonight and maybe do all those things sexually that we usually do.”
  - “Peter, for the last time, I'm not having sex with you in this office.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter, did you Xerox your penis? Three-hundred times.”
  - “They had one on last night where the girl had a butt-face, but her breasts was immaculate.”
  - “But a moron with large breasts you can use as mountains for your Matchbox cars or whatever it is grown-ups do with large breasts.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, boy, I tell you I haven't felt this good since I came up with that new place to hide my porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Let's plant a knife on him just to be safe.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Oh, say, Jillian, before you go, I forget, do you know what the capital of this state is? Rhode Island City? It's like she's fucking five.”
  - “Come here, you little son of a bitch! Come here! Stop it! Stop pecking me! - Thanks, Joe.”
  - “Oh, damn it, look at my foot.”
  - “I call it Peter Griffin's bunker-busting, mega-ultra super Holy crap! Oh, my God! You blew off all your fingers.”
  - “Damn it! Maybe if we make it mad, it will come down here, and we can catch it and get the finger.”
  - “Oh, crap! I'm not even half-buzzed.”
  - “Besides, it sure beats the hell out of last Saturday when we partied with that big-horned guy from Legend.”
  - “Oh, that sucks, man! I'm wide awake.”
  - “Where the hell are those purchase orders? Yeah, it's this bum hand.”

## S5 E6 — 6. Prick Up Your Ears
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0506.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Lois discovers that Chris has some bad information about sex, she volunteers to teach a sex-ed class at the high school. After Lois upsets the other parents with her honest approach, Principal Shepherd is forced to replace her with Reverend Jerry Kirkwood. Meanwhile, Meg and her new guy take an abstinence pledge, but still manage to find a loophole. And a terrified Stewie sets a series of traps for the Tooth Fairy, hell-bent on destroying him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 10 moment(s)
  - “Now, you've probably heard all those rumors that condoms make sex less pleasurable.”
  - “It's because you're teaching those kids about condoms.”
  - “He's wrong 'cause he wants to have sex and he's not married.”
  - “Sure, sex if fun, but you can't have it before you're married, even if you use a condom.”
  - “It means I made a pledge not to have sex.”
  - “And if you do make the choice to act on them, make sure you protect yourselves, use a condom.”
  - “Now, if you're curious about sex, you should talk to your sex ed teacher.”
  - “The principal cut sex ed class to save money.”
  - “I am all done writing plays for the day, perhaps we could have sexual intercourse? Count me in.”
  - “In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Chris, what is this? - Genital Hospital.”
  - “"If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension" "populated entirely by dogs who will eat it.”
  - “Wow! Does this mean I'll see you naked? - Yeah.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Oh, wait a second! Damn it! I am not going by myself! Ah, you bitch.”
  - “Damn, I lost him.”
  - “Oh, my God! And sometimes, just for the hell of it, she cuts off a piece of her armpit hair and places it gently on your tongue.”
  - “To hell with parliamentary procedure.”
  - “All right, getting a tooth to lure that damn fairy back shouldn't be too difficult.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meth is a hell of a drug.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, Tooth Whore, do your worst.”

## S5 E7 — 7. Chick Cancer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0507.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie ties the knot with his old friend and fading child actress Olivia, but their relationship quickly turns into a traditional marriage filled with resentment and bickering, which comes to an ugly head when they join Brian and Jillian on a double date. Meanwhile, Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks, and he decides to make his own movie based on the plots of every girly movie ever made.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “You're the underachiever every woman wants to sleep with.”
  - “We have yet to have sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I think about you while having sex with my wife.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter, have you been up all night watching chick movies? Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis.”
  - “Right stat now! But it was too late, and she died from a rotten vagina.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Sitcom Punch Lines of the 80's.”
  - “Hey, Olivia, why don't you and I go get some punch? Oh, actually, would you mind getting some for Victor and me while we catch up? Or, a third option.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm Sassy, that's Pouty, and this is Suicidy.”
  - “I got a bad feeling about Suicidy.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Oh, God, there is no fucking drummer better than Neil Peart! It ain't easy being cheesy.”
  - “What sort of overblown contract has that dreadful bitch landed now? Most of you know Olivia as the adorable little girl in the Tasty Juice ads.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? Not much, really.”
  - “What the hell, man.”
  - “That's it, isn't it? Women respond when you treat them like crap.”
  - “And action! Joe, get out of the damn chair.”
  - “Wow, that was the worst piece of crap I've ever seen.”
  - “So, what happened? Well, you want to know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Would Howard Hesseman lie for weed? We don't think so.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't want my neighbors seeing a fat, old, dirty whore screaming at me on my front lawn.”
  - “"Whore"? - Well, maybe I should come inside.”

## S5 E8 — 8. Barely Legal
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0508.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Meg can't find a date to her junior prom, Brian gets suckered into going with her, even though he is dating Jillian. When Brian arrives at the dance he gets drunk to ease his pain, but after he makes out with Meg he really hurts. The next morning Meg starts to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every waking moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force and have to come to Brian's aid.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Masturbate? That's it.”
  - “We should hook up anyway.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I saw this penis on the Internet today and I thought to myself : "Well, that's" - "that's just fine.”
  - “Maybe you can come and help me pick out some underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stop punching me! - Look, Brian, I don't know what the hell happened between you two, but you'd better go upstairs and straighten it out right now.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I should just kill myself.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.”
  - “I will never be attracted to you! You're acting like a psycho bitch.”
  - “What? Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell?! You're not the same giraffe from last night.”
  - “What the hell? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I gotta stop taking my baths during Peter's shenanigans.”
  - “You know, you don't deserve all the crap you get, Meg, you know that? Thanks, Brian.”
  - “What the hell is wrong with you, you sick bastard?! - Look, I was drinking - Oh, what a shock! Look, the short version is, this morning, she made me eat the hair in her pie.”
  - “Don't move, dirtbag! - Holy crap, what the hell is this? Brian, she's a teenager! Yeah, Brian, you're doing the same thing that Mia Farrow did to that Oriental guy that Woody Allen brought home from the circus.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You got any weed? I put it in your coat pocket.”
  - “Sorry, that was the booze, not you.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm so fat and gross.”
- Slut-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore.”
  - “She's a she's a skank.”
  - “Get naked, you strange whore! Peter, I haven't seen Meg or Brian since last night.”

## S5 E9 — 9. Road to Rupert
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0509.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the family has a garage sale, Brian accidentally sells Stewie's beloved teddy bear Rupert. Stewie is so distraught that Brian takes him on a cross-country road trip to Aspen, CO. When they find the culprit, Stanford, Stewie challenges him to a ski-off to get Rupert back. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “What? Why? We got reckless driving, disturbing the peace, plus the driver of one of those other cars was a virgin whose hymen was busted by the airbag, so rape.”
  - “…that letter My black son, my black son Now each day my heart is getting bigger Don't even remember sleeping with that lady, but I did My black son, he's coming to stay My black son, he's making each day The best…”
  - “How could you sell Rupert? What you've done is more horrible than sex with Sharon Stone.”
  - “One minute I'm filling up at Chevron, and the next I'm having sex with Sharon Stone.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “How are we gonna get out of here? - You still got the starting gun? - Yeah.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “Get out of the fucking car! Get out of the fucking car right now, man! - Get out of the fucking car! Do it, do it! - Oh, my God.”
  - “I'll do whatever you want! - I'll fucking kill you! Get out of the fucking car! Did we just carjack someone? We sure did, Brian.”
  - “You son of a bitch! Come on, Stewie, I'm really sorry.”
  - “I'm looking forward to getting rid of some of this crap.”
  - “Give me the damn license.”
  - “Having some trouble there? - You're starting to piss me off.”
  - “You're starting to piss me off! - It's right here.”
  - “Oh, man, this sucks.”
  - “What the hell am I gonna do all day? That's all right, that's okay.”
  - “Damn you, Brian.”
  - “My own driver? Holy crap, that's awesome.”
  - “Where the hell are we? Oh, this is history right here, Brian.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Quit stealing my punch lines, you fat drunk.”

## S5 E10 — Peter's Two Dads
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0510.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter's dad, Francis, dies, he finds out from Thelma that his real father lives in Ireland. So Peter and Brian head there in search of his father, who ends up being the town drunk, which is a great honor, and he challenges him to a drinking game to prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie acts out and Lois spanks him, but he quickly realizes that he likes it and does whatever he can to get into trouble.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “So he says to the grasshopper: "Hey, you know there's a drink named after you?" The grasshopper says: "You mean there's a drink named Irving?" So which one of you wants to lose your virginity?”
  - “…We Irish lads are all infirm And our moods infect us like a germ 'Cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm And we don't tan well, either.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Come on! Discipline me! Make me wear panties, rub dirt in my eye, violating me with a wine bottle.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “If I can just get her to hit me one more time, it'll give me the rush I've been looking for! What's next? What's next? Oh, God, I've been so bloody naughty, and I need to be taught a lesson and you're the one to do it.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “What the fuck?! - Hey, at least I'm not drinking, Brian.”
  - “She is messed up, man! Shut up! Just shut up! Let me fucking think! - Push her out.”
  - “So less? More? Too many? - Not enough? - You stupid son of a bitch! You didn't even know how old I am! Meg, that kind of language is not appropriate for a girl your age.”
  - “Push the bitch out! Okay, now let's go back in your mind to your childhood, - to some of your deepest memories.”
  - “Take off that stupid costume! You look like a damn fool.”
  - “Well, he did kind of treat us like crap, - but, yes, it is a tragedy.”
  - “No! Go to hell! Stewie, I have had just about enough of this new selfish attitude of yours.”
  - “Come on, Lois, hit me! Beat the crap out of me! Step on my cubes.”
  - “All I know is somewhere in the great land of Ireland, is a big fat bastard who looks like me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - “What is it? Peter you're a fat, stinking drunk.”
  - “But instead, he called me a fat, stinking drunk.”
  - “Booze made me fall down all those stairs.”
  - “Booze killed my father.”
  - “You know, Ireland has more drunks per capita than people.”
  - “Get me a beer, Brian.”
  - “From our drunken Irish dad!”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm an adorable tramp who wears found clothing and eats out of your garbage can.”

## S5 E11 — The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0511.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When a bully begins to harass Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but the kid is so annoying that Peter beats him up. This is so satisfying that Peter realizes bullying is fun and begins to bully everyone in the house. Finally, Chris stands up to Peter and beats him senseless. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian accidentally leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I'll be getting more sex than that Wisconsin nymphomaniac who used to live upstairs.”
  - “We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “The kind of moustache that says, "Yeah, I've been nude on camera.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “You beat up a 13-year-old boy! He called me names.”
  - “Cook much? Peter, what the hell is wrong with you? What's wrong with me? You're the one punching yourself in the face.”
  - “Hey, Lois, how come you keep punching yourself in the face? - Peter, knock it off! - You're gonna hurt yourself.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Go fuck yourself.”
  - “What's your handicap? Oh! Every hole! That's a joke that just doesn't get old! God damn it! Come on, come on! Shit, shit, shit!”
  - “I've been in there for six-and-a-half hours, you son of a bitch! Don't touch me! - Well, how Can you get up? - I'll try.”
  - “Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Oh, crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Oh, crap.”
  - “Hey, what do you think of my recumbent tan pose? Legs probably spread a little wider than they ought to be, but who gives a damn.”
  - “No, you're going to yell at me! You're damn right, I'm going to yell at you.”
  - “Key Largo, Montego Baby, why don't we go down to Kokomo But not too fast 'Cause Stewie takes it slow Oh, crap.”
  - “What the hell does that have to do with anything? No.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Would you like to come inside for a cupcake and a glass of wine? Shut up, old man.”
  - “I mean, you know, unless I get really stinking drunk, in which case all you got to do is outrun your sister.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, if it isn't King Lard Ass.”

## S5 E12 — Airport '07
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0512.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter takes Quagmire to the airport for work and messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. Quagmire can't find another gig, so Peter and Cleveland devise a plan to help him get his old job back. When the plan flops, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner, which leads him to save the day.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “I could have sex with you or I could just stand over there and drink from the lake.”
  - “…You never really know what he's gonna do next He's Quagmire, Quagmire Giggity Giggity Giggity Let's have sex Let us forever remember this beautiful young woman, taken from us in the bloom of youth, yet as…”
  - “Here's the condom I said I put on.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I meant sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Please exercise caution when standing up as the contents of your vagina may have shifted during coitus.”
  - “You know what he once said? He said, " You know, I've got a 13-inch penis, "and Glenn Quagmire is the best damn pilot I've ever seen.”
  - “And what does 8,008 look like on a calculator? - Oh! "Boob!" - Boob! Yeah! All right! All right! All right! Boob! What if we had two calculators and we put them next to each other? Yes, yes, yes.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “That reminds me of a guy you might have heard of, John Holmes, the greatest porn star who ever lived.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, come on, Marlee! I know you can't hear them, but you got to feel those things slapping out of there.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “What's that in there? Doo-doos! They're stinky! Quagmire, how would you like to help me commit suicide? And then I got that job on the Starship Enterprise.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Holy shit! We are fucking smoking now.”
  - “Peter, what the hell are you doing with a pickup truck?”
  - “Peter, what the hell! My car.”
  - “Oh, damn it! Hey, hey, come back.”
  - “Which one do you think I'm more pissed about? I'll remind you that I was invited here.”
  - “Damn! - Oh, no, she didn't.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hiya, kids, it's Peter Griffin's champagne dance party.”
  - “All right, now do you see a button that looks like a drunken gay guy eyeing you from across the bar? - Yeah, I see it.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, and there's an annoying little homo screaming in my kitchen.”

## S5 E13 — Bill and Peter's Bogus Adventure
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0513.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter helps Bill Clinton out with a flat tire, they become fast friends. They begin spending a lot of time together and Lois starts to think Bill is a bad influence. But when she confronts Bill, they end up having sex. Peter is devastated and tries to get back at Lois but finds he loves her too much to go through with having an affair. Meanwhile, Lois and Stewie try to potty-train Brian.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Well the way I figure it, the only way to even things out between us is if you have sex with someone else, too.”
  - “I can almost hear the stillness As it yields to the sound of your heart beating All right, Peter, who's it going to be? Who do you want to sleep with? Who we kidding, Lois? This is never going to work.”
  - “What's the best way to say this? Um Mom Would you have sex with Peter? - Of course, dear.”
  - “Apparently, there's the side of Bill Clinton the world knows, and then there's the dark, sex-crazed side only I know.”
  - “Uh Whoever it was said some very sexual things.”
  - “Some very angry, sexual things.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know where I got that nipple ring? Ol' Straddlin' Madeleine Albright gave it to me.”
  - “Oh, Peter! - Why are you naked in my house? - Uh Why aren't you? You're all right, Griffin.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Hey, Brian, look, I'm a stripper.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! Where is it?! Where did she throw it?! Oh, God! Oh, God! Is this what you're looking for? I can't believe Lois would cheat on me.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Wow, a limo! Shotgun! - Watch the screen, not your feet.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You shouldn't have talked, you stupid bitch! I hope you die! Boy, that, uh that wasn't really a crank call, that was - that was just unpleasant.”
  - “" Meg, you are so full of crap.”
  - “Dad! What the hell?! Look at him in that tank top.”
  - “Who's there?! Aw, crap! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Dog gone it! If he wanted a pig, why didn't he just take my wife? And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.”
  - “What the hell?! - No! No! You do not go on this lawn! Brian, I've had enough of this.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I don't like the kids being around that racist sunflower that's growing in our yard.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “We're a little overloaded 'cause I'm having a fat chick party back here.”

## S5 E14 — No Meals on Wheels
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0514.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the Griffin family decides to start a restaurant, they have a hard time attracting customers. But after Joe promises to help, Peter is excited that it might become a cop hangout. However, things don't really turn out as Peter had hoped and it begins to be popular with handicapped patrons. Although Peter attempts to change the atmosphere of his new place, a sudden twist of irony quickly changes his mind.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Peter, you've been sleeping with that money for the past week.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “My post-sex pee stream forked in half last night and got everywhere.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Connect the dots? Ha! More like set the book down and have a beer.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's racist, and for God's sake, you ruined your best suit.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's water weight, you bastard! Get off me! I'm not your whore.”

## S5 E15 — Boys Do Cry
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0515.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The family heads to church when Lois gets a gig as the organist, but after Stewie gets sick the congregation is convinced he's possessed by the devil. So, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas. Peter fits right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's going to go straight to my vagina.”
  - “What do we have to do? You got to sneak on to the Crawford Ranch and steal a pair of George Bush's underwear.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Boy, that's even kinkier than the porn they make for senior citizens.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Where are we going? Who cares as long as it's away from those bloody church fanatics.”
  - “What's this? That's your gun.”
  - “Buy some liquor,get a free gun.”
  - “What is that, punch? - Oh, don't y'all drink that.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Ever since she started smoking pot, she just kind of lays there.”
  - “What? - Nevermind Hey, you guys want to see something? Grab a beer and follow me.”

## S5 E16 — No Chris Left Behind
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0516.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: After Chris is expelled from public school, he's sent to the same snooty boarding school that Lois' dad attended. Meanwhile, a chicken picks a fight with Peter.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What about Paulie? He's having sex with the meat.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look, I'm sorry, I can't have you in here punching the meat.”

## S5 E17 — It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0517.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Incensed by Mayor West's complicity in oil-company pollution at Quahog Lake, Lois decides to challenge him in the upcoming election.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “My God, if I tried to masturbate right now, you know what'd come out? A little flag with the word "bang" on it.”
  - “Well, there once were two cowboys All alone out on the trail And they discovered they could sleep With another male Now they're having butt sex Cowboy butt sex Sodomy Come on, everybody.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I've been having sex with every woman in town nonstop for the past two days.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Hey, baby, want some Adam West penis? This is unbelievable! Well, I am not gonna stand by while you let this town be destroyed by corruption! Mr.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What'd you do that for? - So I could reanimate the corpse - of Jim Varney.”
  - “He got the shotgun, Brian! Don't ask me how he did it, but Jim Varney got the shotgun! - Run for your life! - What? Run! - Excuse me, how much is this coat? - It's 4,300.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “…Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! There's another dog in that car! Hey! Are you seeing that? Hey! Hey! Hey, other dog! Fuck you!”
  - “" Hey, Lois, look at me, I got post-partum depression! I'm sad about stuff! You son of a bitch! Don't even joke about that! - This water feels kind of funny.”
  - “Bitch, I thought I said just shut up and be looking fine.”
  - “Dad, look! - Holy crap! Oh, my God, what the hell is wrong with this lake? I think it's a safe bet that that's responsible.”
  - “That's like making all, like, signs and walking around or what? You know, you bastards got a stake in this, too.”
  - “I mean, Lois is my wife, and if she's the mayor, we can pretty much do whatever the hell we want.”
  - “What the hell you talking about? Lois is gonna get the entire female vote 'cause of me.”
  - “Maybe you could do some damn laundry once in a while.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I could do cocaine if I wanted to.”
  - “Oh, I like him! He looks me in the eye! I'd like to have a beer with him.”

## S5 E18 — Meet the Quagmires
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0518.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Death grants Peter's wish of going back in time to be 18 again just for one night so that he can sow his wild oats. In 1984, he bails on a date with Lois to go to a bar and make out with a movie actress, but when he returns to the present, he discovers that he is now married to the former starlet and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have all inherited Quagmire's charming characteristics.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “What are you doing here? Oh, I like to hook up with random bar guys.”
  - “Lois, what the hell? I'm gone for one night, and you sleep with Quagmire?! Mr.”
  - “Let's go play Schoolgirl And Guy Who Has Sex With Schoolgirl.”
  - “And you made dessert, too! Oh! Oh, Glenn, I love all your sex jokes and your dirty puns.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Reports suggest that all three were violated sexually before being brutally murdered.”
  - “Oh! Hey, did you guys hear on the news about President Gore hunting down and killing Osama Bin Laden with his bare hands? I know.”
  - “Al Gore is President.”
  - “And with zero tolerance gun control and a strong, well-funded educational system, there's no street crime.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “Damn, I drove all the way out here.”
  - “What the hell? Where are we? Oh, my God, this is this is Newport Country Club! I used to be a towel boy here! That's right, Peter.”
  - “We are gonna raise more hell than Hellraiser.”
  - “Hey, you know what, listen, Zapped! sucks.”
  - “Aw, crap! Death! No.”
  - “Oh, damn it, Brian, what the hell am I gonna do now? I haven't screw up this bad since I bought Joe Piscopo that barbell set.”

## S6 E1 — 1. Blue Harvest
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0601.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the power goes out in the Griffin home, Peter decides to educate his family and pass along the greatest story ever told- the story of Star Wars! After Princess Leia comes under siege by Darth Vader and his evil Storm Troopers, C-3PO and R2-D2 escape to find the only person who can help the Rebel Alliance. On their quest thorough the desert planet of Tatooine, C-3PO and R-2D2 find extra help in Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Chewbacca and head back to battle the Death Star in an epic intergalactic fight to the death.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Droids! - Look! A penny! Hey, thanks for the sex, early '90s printer.”
  - “My sexy friend and I are looking for a ship to take us to Alderaan, and I'm willing to pay big money.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Just keep shooting, Luke! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitch! I got him! I got him! Great, kid! Don't get penis-y! I just want to tell you both Good luck.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Princess Leia, we've chosen to test our Death Star planet blower-upper gun on your home planet of Alderaan.”
  - “Oh, look, a light saber cheese knife.”
  - “It's a legitimate show and they beat you to the punch.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Something's telling me it might be you It's telling me it might be you Aren't you a little fat to be a storm trooper? Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch.”
  - “Just keep shooting, Luke! That's how we do it in my neighborhood, bitch! I got him! I got him! Great, kid! Don't get penis-y! I just want to tell you both Good luck.”
  - “But a hell of a week though.”
  - “Hell of a week.”
  - “Could you hold on to this bag? What if they come in a different door? Damn! I was two days from retirement.”
  - “Oh, crap, that got us in a tractor beam.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What'd you get for a reward anyway? Uh, let's see, I got 10% off a Netflix membership, uh some nice Cracker Barrel Cheddar, assorted lotions, and a little plastic champagne bottle full of jelly beans and a little bear.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Suddenly I'm not so fat, huh? Come on, into the garbage chute.”

## S6 E2 — 2. Movin' Out
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0602.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter convinces Brian to move in with his dense girlfriend Jillian, she ends up smothering him, but he keeps her around for the lovin'. Stewie moves in with them to help pay the rent, but he tries to get Brian back on the playing field by throwing him a drunken party and interfering with their relationship. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job at the local convenience store, as does Chris, who gets chummy with the manager, Carl. While Chris and Carl talk about their favorite movies, Meg is saddled with all the hard work. She eventually stands up for herself and as a result gets fired.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “" And then he meets a whore and pays her a bunch of money to stay with him, uh, and have sex with him while he murders himself slowly.”
  - “Hang on, let me get a condom.”
  - “Oh, Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar make out.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Like totally naked in, um, Leaving Las Vegas.”
  - “What kind of underwear? Um I don't know.”
  - “Big underwear, I guess.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “The only job I could find was for a phone sex line, and I sucked at it.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “" And then he meets a whore and pays her a bunch of money to stay with him, uh, and have sex with him while he murders himself slowly.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “How come you're always here by yourself? Are you like a bitch or something? - No, I have friends.”
  - “Stewie, what the hell are you doing?! Oh, my God! Now I've got to clean up this up! - Carl, I'm so sorry.”
  - “You know that? I don't know when the hell Brian is going to open his eyes and get serious with you.”
  - “Piss off, you perverted old freak! Oh, we got a fighter.”
  - “Oh, my God! I've never felt so stupid! - Really? - Really? Well, I don't want to be your guilty burden, Brian! We're through! Jillian, wait! Damn it.”
  - “Oh, shut up, you bastard! Chris, we should have a talk about Meg.”
  - “Kind of sucks though.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Jillian, can you, uh, run and get me a beer from the kitchen? Oh, yeah, sure, no problem.”
  - “Wow, h-have youseen Cocktail? - Uh, yeah, yeah.”

## S6 E3 — 3. Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0603.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Bonnie tells Joe that she is tired of being married to a handicapped person, Joe decides to get a leg transplant. Excited about his new ability to walk, Joe dives head first into extreme sports and begins to hang around more active friends. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys are upset at how Joe is acting and decide to teach him a lesson. In doing so, they re cripple him and he is back to normal.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “And we're gonna keep on drinking until we each uncover repressed memories of sexual abuse by a trusted religious official.”
  - “If I were a woman, I would press my bare boobs up against glass in public just for the sexual thrill! The sexual thrill! How do I stop?! Use the rubber stoppers on the front.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, hey, guys, I was just catching up on some plunger nipples.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “…And my hatred keeps me warm A wolverine, so you Russians best be warned Shooting Commies, drinking deer blood Peeing in the radiator Look up there, here comes a really angry Russian helicopter It has been a red dawn.”
  - “Boccie balls! I bought a tank! Are you out of your mind?! Let me show you how the gun works.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Dude, those animals are so fucking funny, they make me want to merge without looking! Yeah! Rumsfeld! Hi, there, can I help you folks? Yeah, uh, my daughter's looking for a car that goes with her personality.”
  - “Ha! you are earth's bitch! Morning, civilians.”
  - “Family Guy - Episode S06E03 Hell comes to Quahog Correction : Kemar Oh, yes! I slam it, and you can suck it! Joe, that was our last ball.”
  - “What the hell?! No, no, no, no, no, no! Hey, Peter, can you blow that towel rack down here? Thank you.”
  - “Oh, my God! Joe, my God, what happened? You just ran over me, you bastard.”
  - “Man, this sucks worse than Easter Sunday at Richard Gere's house.”
  - “Ah, this sucks.”
  - “That damn Superstore's ruining everything.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Who's sober enough to drive? Ah, okay, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk where you're a better driver because you know you're drunk?”
  - “I'm that kind of drunk.”
  - “Superstore USA has their own brewery on-site and can sell beer at a much cheaper price.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Meg, what happened? Fat Ass and his drunk friends left me at the roller rink.”
  - “What are you waiting for? Dad, I'm sorry I have to say this, but you're a fat ass who's completely incapable of performing the simplest tasks.”

## S6 E4 — 4. Stewie Kills Lois (1)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0604.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In the 100th episode, Lois and Peter go on a cruise, leaving Stewie and the family behind. Upset with Lois for leaving him at home, Stewie vows to carry out a diabolical plan. When Brian challenges him to actually do it, Stewie stows away on the ship, finds Lois and - well - the title of the episode says it all.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know, it's really hard to masturbate with you guys talking.”
  - “Chris, what the hell is going on with you lately? Ever since you hooked up with this band, you're like a completely different person, and I don't like it one bit.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Who does he or she think he or she is? Look, you can totally see his or her nipples.”
  - “You're right, we got to find this Marilyn Manson and I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “…sounds awesome! And the recruiter said with any luck, I could get the clap from a 12-year-old Chinese prostitute.”
  - “"I rip it hardcore like porno-flick bitches.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Uh, we both got shot in the foot, so, uh, we figured an honorable discharge would be in order and, uh, you could just send us back to the States.”
  - “Let's just face it I suck! Sounds like you guys could use some fresh blood.”
  - “Hey, is that the M9 double-action pistol? Sure is.”
  - “Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just want to punch her in the face.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “"I rip it hardcore like porno-flick bitches.”
  - “You're right, we got to find this Marilyn Manson and I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.”
  - “Ow! Damn it! - That's what I thought.”
  - “What the hell's wrong with you? Your skin's, like, moving around or something.”
  - “C ommercial! Damn! Play me some filler, Johnny.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving.”
  - “It's time for you to piss off, redhead.”
  - “" "I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Pfft, maybe if she spent some time on the treadmill and I was drunk.”
- Homophobic jokes — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm I'm a homo.”
  - “I am so gay, with my gayness.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, way to stand up for your woman there, fatty.”

## S6 E5 — 5. Lois Kills Stewie (2)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0605.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: While all of Quahog assumes she's dead, Lois returns from the wilderness and names Stewie as her killer, but he goes on the run while Joe leads a manhunt around Quahog. Then, Stewie tries to take over the world and in the interim auditions for the AMERICAN IDOL judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. Meanwhile, Lois realizes that she must stop Stewie.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “I think it would be so hot for you and me to have sex in my office.”
  - “Brian had sex with a really dumb girl Now he's taking his friend Stewie To get some ice cream in his car Oh, you're a poor sport.”
  - “Uh, so, yeah, um so I figured we could get together tonight and maybe, um, do all those things sexually that we usually do.”
  - “Peter, for the last time, I'm not having sex with you in this office.”
  - “Lois, I really appreciate you helping me out this week, and I really appreciate you having sex with me in my office.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter, did you Xerox your penis? Flip through it or you're fired.”
  - “They had one on last night where the girl had a buttface but her breasts was immaculate.”
  - “But a moron with large breasts you can use as mountains for your Matchbox cars, or whatever it is grown-ups do with large breasts.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, boy, I tell you, I haven't felt this good since I came up with that new place to hide my porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Let's plant a knife on him just to be safe.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “You little son of a bitch, come here! Hey, stop, stop it, stop pecking me! Ah, thanks, Joe.”
  - “Family Guy - Episode S06E05 Whistle While Your Wife Works - Ow, damn it! - Peter, are you all right? No, no, I think you should call somebody.”
  - “Damn it, look at my foot.”
  - “I call it Peter Griffin's bunker-busting mega-ultra-super Holy crap! Oh, my God! You blew off all your fingers! What happened? Oh, my God! You know, no huge hurry, but I'm sort of out of juice over here.”
  - “Aw, crap, I'm not even half-buzzed.”
  - “Besides, it sure beats the hell out of last Saturday when we partied with that big-horned guy from Legend.”
  - “Oh, that sucks, man, I'm wide awake.”
  - “Where the hell are those purchase orders? Eh, it's this bum hand.”

## S6 E6 — 6. Padre de Familia
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0606.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Peter starts an anti-immigration group after being caught up in the pro-American sentiment at a Veterans' Day parade, but his tune quickly changes when he finds out he was born in Mexico. Unable to prove his citizenship, pass the naturalization test or convince investigators that his marriage to Lois is for real, he ends up working as a groundskeeper on his father-in-law's estate and leading the fight for immigrant rights .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 10 moment(s)
  - “Now, you've probably heard all those rumors that condoms make sex less pleasurable.”
  - “It's because you're teaching those kids about condoms.”
  - “He's wrong 'cause he wants to have sex and he's not married.”
  - “Sure, sex if fun, but you can't have it before you're married, even if you use a condom.”
  - “It means I made a pledge not to have sex.”
  - “And if you do make the choice to act on them, make sure you protect yourselves, use a condom.”
  - “Now, if you're curious about sex, you should talk to your sex ed teacher.”
  - “The principal cut sex ed class to save money.”
  - “I am all done writing plays for the day, perhaps we could have sexual intercourse? Count me in.”
  - “In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Chris, what is this? - Genital Hospital.”
  - “"If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension" "populated entirely by dogs who will eat it.”
  - “Wow! Does this mean I'll see you naked? - Yeah.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Family Guy - Episode S06E06 Prick Up Your Ears We now return to Rodney King of Queens.”
  - “Oh, wait a second! Damn it! I am not going by myself! Ah, you bitch.”
  - “Damn, I lost him.”
  - “Oh, my God! And sometimes, just for the hell of it, she cuts off a piece of her armpit hair and places it gently on your tongue.”
  - “To hell with parliamentary procedure.”
  - “All right, getting a tooth to lure that damn fairy back shouldn't be too difficult.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meth is a hell of a drug.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, Tooth Whore, do your worst.”

## S6 E7 — 7. Peter's Daughter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0607.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When a flood hits Quahog, Meg winds up in the hospital in a coma, but she wakes up to a cute med student and they immediately hit it off. After Meg recovers, Peter is very protective of her, so he drives "McCutie" away. But when Meg reveals to the family that she is pregnant, Peter forces them to get married.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “You're the underachiever every woman wants to sleep with.”
  - “We have yet to have sex.”
  - “I think about you while having sex with my wife.”
  - “Do you even know what sex is?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter, have you been up all night watching chick movies? Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Ya think so? Who could forget that one? Hi, I'm the Mayor of Comedy here to tell you about a new CD offer : Sitcom Punch Lines of the '80s.”
  - “Hey, Olivia, why don't you and I go get some punch? Oh, actually, would you mind getting some for Victor and me while we catch up? Or-or a third option.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - We're your roommates: “I'm Sassy, that's Pouty, and this is Suicidy.”
  - “I got a bad feeling about Suicidy.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “What sort of overblown contract has that dreadful bitch landed now? Most of you know Olivia as the adorable little girl in the Tasty Juice ads.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? Eh, not much, really.”
  - “Ow! What the hell, man.”
  - “That's it, isn't it? Women respond when you treat them like crap.”
  - “And action! Joe, get out of the damn chair.”
  - “Wow, that was the worst piece of crap I ever seen.”
  - “So what happened? Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Would Howard Hesseman lie for weed? We don't think so.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't want my neighbors seeing a fat, old, dirty whore screaming at me on my front lawn.”
  - “Whore? - Well, maybe I should come inside.”

## S6 E8 — 8. McStroke
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0608.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter decides to grow a moustache, but then he's mistaken for a fireman, so he lends a hand when a fire breaks out at a local fast food restaurant. The owner gives him unlimited burgers as a "thank you" but he eats so many that he eventually has a stroke. When Peter recovers, he vows to expose the fast-food company and becomes friends with a genetically engineered cow he meets after infiltrating the McBurgertown warehouse.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “be, I'm gonna make you somehash browns for breakfast, and then, later, I'm gonna takeyou down to the whoreh to lose your virginity.”
  - “You wanna have sex? No No, no, no, nono.”
  - “Oh, I think it's sexy.”
  - “Now check this out! Oh, my God! Yeah, I am ready for sex.”
  - “That's it? That was sex? What a rip-off.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “…What the hell's your problem? Hey, Logan, what's going on? What the hell is going on here? Nothing, baby penis.”
  - “Well, yes, I have a baby- Well, for your information, I don't want a big penis.”
  - “Look, this girl is making out with a baby! A nude baby! Hey! That's right.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “The Fruit Punch Reader.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Lois! Bring me anotherbeer, please! Uh, Lois, you mind telling me what the hellyou think you're doing? I'm handing you a beer.”
  - “This is my good arm! Bring the beer over here! That's better.”

## S6 E9 — 9. Back to the Woods
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0609.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: James Woods returns after being locked in a crate to seek revenge against Peter. First, James steals Peter's identity and moves in as head of the Griffin household. Then, Peter goes out and ruins James career and image.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “" "The hooker took it.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Right, so I gotmy hand gun and I'm just randomly firing itinto a crowd of people and then And then what? And nothing.”
  - “Uh, for example, uh,Kate Moss and I had the same coke supplier, and he threwa punch social one day and we both happenedto be there.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “That son of a bitch.”
  - “You stole my credit card,you son of a bitch.”
  - “And boring as hell.”
  - “What the hell?Where's my wallet? Aw, crap, I must've dropped itat the Barry Manilow concert.”
  - “What? You don't all weara poop sack? Damn it, Bonnie! You lied to meabout the poop sack! Hello, family.”
  - “Yeah, oh, damn it,he's smothered.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I say, this is moreuncomfortable than having James Bradyat a cocktail party.”

## S6 E10 — Play it Again, Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0610.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and Lois's marriage is on the rocks, but when Brian wins the New England Rising Writer's award, the three of them head to Martha's Vineyard for a relaxing vacation. As Peter's drinking spirals out of control, so does Brian's self restraint as he professes his undying love for Lois. Peter and Brian test their friendship over the woman of their dreams.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “So he says to the grasshopper : "Hey, you know there's a drink named after you?" The grasshopper says : "You mean there's a drink named Irving?" So which one of you wants to lose your virginity?”
  - “…We Irish lads are all infirm And our moods infect us like a germ 'Cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm And we don't tan well, either.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Come on! Discipline me! Make me wear panties, rub dirt in my eye, violating me with a wine bottle.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “If I can just get her to hit me one more time, it'll give me the rush I've been looking for! What's next? What's next? Oh, God, I've been so bloody naughty, and I need to be taught a lesson and you're the one to do it.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “What the fuck?! - Hey, at least I'm not drinking, Brian.”
  - “She is messed up, man! Shut up! Just shut up! Let me fucking think! - Push her out.”
  - “So less? More? Too many? - Not enough? - You stupid son of a bitch! You didn't even know how old I am! Meg, that kind of language is not appropriate for a girl your age.”
  - “Push the bitch out! Okay, now let's go back in your mind to your childhood, - to some of your deepest memories.”
  - “Take off that stupid costume! You look like a damn fool.”
  - “Well, he did kind of treat us like crap, - but, yes, it is a tragedy.”
  - “No! Go to hell! Stewie, I have had just about enough of this new selfish attitude of yours.”
  - “Come on, Lois, hit me! Beat the crap out of me! Step on my cubes.”
  - “All I know is somewhere in the great land of Ireland, is a big fat bastard who looks like me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - “What is it? Peter you're a fat, stinking drunk.”
  - “But instead, he called me a fat, stinking drunk.”
  - “Booze made me fall down all those stairs.”
  - “Booze killed my father.”
  - “You know, Ireland has more drunks per capita than people.”
  - “Get me a beer, Brian.”
  - “From our drunken Irish dad!”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm an adorable tramp who wears found clothing and eats out of your garbage can.”

## S6 E11 — The Former Life of Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0611.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian is afraid that he has lost his chance at love, he goes in search of a former flame Tracy only to discover he is the father of her unruly son, Dylan. After Brian's surprise visit, Tracy drops Dylan off at the Griffin's so Brian can raise him. Subsequently, his new little angel begins terrorizing the Griffin household and Brian's self-important attitude toward parenting infuriates Peter and Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I don't know why, but I've always found magic very sexy.”
  - “The truth is I spend at least exploringexotic places, having sex with mybeautiful girlfriend,just doing sit-ups.”
  - “And then, inghchl, I was violated sexuallyby my father.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stewie, why are you nude? Oh, just a little something I do once a week around here ll aak t party.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, maybe I have been acting different lately, all right? But that's only because I've truly connected with the one bit of flesh and blood that I have on this earth.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “Shut up, bitch! Oh! He gotyou, Lois.”
  - “This party sucks.”
  - “But don't worry, he won't burn in hell thanks to all that Owens-Corning fiberglass insulation.”
  - “Boyfriend?!Oh, come on! I id80foalth crap! You have a boyfriend?! Yeah.”
  - “God! I am so sickof this crap!”
  - “You'rejust a fat old bastard.”
  - “ll, not to get technical,sir, but you are the bastard.”
  - “Oh, damn it, Dylan.”
  - “What the hell? llthk dI'm full of Play-Doh.”
  - “Damn it, don't you think I wanted to be? Shh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I myself drank, like, five liters of beer.”

## S6 E12 — Long John Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0612.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Yo ho ho! It's a pirate's life for Peter when he gets a pet parrot. But after raising hell in Quahog and terrorizing the neighbors, Peter accidentally kills his beloved pet. Meanwhile, Chris goes with Brian to the vet and falls for the lovely intern Anna.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I went on a date with thisgirl that I really like, and if you don't mind, I was hoping I could askyou a few questions about the birdsand the bees? Ah, my boy wantsto know about sex.”
  - “Pick that up! Chris, why are youacting like this? Pick that up and cook it into something delicious or knit it into somethingthat's useful to me! Um, are you readyto make out now?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Oh, no, I can't! I've got a lunch meeting, and then a meeting after lunch, after that Over the next 90 minutes, I'd like to show you that all your problems can be solved by my penis.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Pick a lane, bitch.”
  - “Uh, yes, can I have two tickets: one man and one bitchthat needs to do what I say.”
  - “Fetch me five tankards of ale, and a leg of mutton for me maties! Who the hell are those guys? Just a few sea dogs frommy fishin' boat days.”
  - “But I bet a lot of girlstell you that, huh? Well, the only girl I knowmy sister, and she sucks.”
  - “The next time yousee this girl, treat her like crap, and you'll be cooler than a mid-'80s noveltyanswering machine message.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I don't care who theyare, they stink! Get 'em out of here! They stink of good cheer, Lois! After we've had our fillof bread and wine, we shall tell talesof other times we had our fillof bread and wine.”

## S7 E1 — 1. Love Blactually
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0701.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian meets Carolyn, the girl of his dreams, he decides to follow Stewie's advice to take things slow. This drives Carolyn crazy, and she soon moves on to another man. When Brian discovers Cleveland is the new man, he does whatever it takes to win Carolyn back.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “You ever had sex that was voluntary? - No, I have not.”
  - “You almost went in there and tried to have sex with that girl.”
  - “Cleveland, you're sleeping with my girlfriend? Nobody told me Carolyn was your girlfriend.”
  - “What's up? Would you mind getting Loretta to sleep with you again? Uh Possibly.”
  - “I always try and jump into the sex right away.”
  - “So how was it having sex with Carolyn? I think I'm gonna remember it forever.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Apache penis! - Aah! - You go on and beat it, little neck.”
  - “Oh, yeah? How so? Brian, do you think you could identify a genital wart? Uh, I would think that would be something you'd check with your doctor about.”
  - “Why are you naked? - Naked? Wha? Everybody's been telling me I'm wearing magnificent robes made from the finest silk.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Loretta cheated on Cleveland.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'm a murdered fetus.”
  - “Did you know Democrats murder thousands of babies every year? Sometimes babies are put back into the womb so that they can be aborted again.”
  - “Aah! It's not true what they say: Punch Snoopy in the stomach as hard as you can and he won't feel it.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “What? You got a problem with that, you can go fuck yourself.”
  - “Uh I'm no meteorologist, but I'm pretty sure it's raining bitches.”
  - “Really? Are you trying to piss me off? Or is that how you say that? - I'm talking about this ruined evening.”
  - “What the hell? Excuse me for a second.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just wanna sit here, watch the ball game, have a few beers.”

## S7 E2 — 2. I Dream of Jesus
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0702.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "The Bird's the Word," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, when he runs into a familiar face. Realizing that it is the one and only Jesus Christ, Peter wants the world to know that he and J.C. are BFFs.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “The perfect hand for masturbating.”
  - “I'll let you have sex with my daughter.”
  - “I took it to bed, had sex with it, it fell asleep in my arms.”
  - “I am so ready to have sex with you.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “I can't believe fucking Jesus hasn't called.”
  - “None of this would have happened if somebody hadn't stolen my fucking Surfin ' Bird record.”
  - “What is it, Dad? - What? You haven't heard? - Fuck! A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word A- well-a bird, bird, bird B- Bird is the word”
  - “Son of a bitch! I'm gonna have to pile dinner on top of that.”
  - “Name dropper! Hey, Perez Hilton, how you doing, bitch? - Good, bitch.”
  - “What the hell was it for? I bought some local TV airtime, Lois.”
  - “The hell with you.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're gonna turn it into wine.”
  - “Hey, I just drank a beer.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Last time I was down here on Earth, I only hung around with one whore.”

## S7 E3 — 3. Road to Germany
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0703.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Mort accidentally steps into a time machine, Brian and Stewie follow him in order to bring him back. But when they discover they're in Poland on the day of the Nazi invasion, things go from bad to worse and the trio has to find a way back to Quahog safely.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “If they catch me, they'll beat me unmerciful and rub dirt in my ass, neck, and all over my antsy nipples.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “That would be more irresponsible than silent-movie porn.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Fuck you, Stewie.”
  - “Fuck the both of you.”
  - “Yeah, well, you're a cunt.”
  - “Whenever Damn it, will you two just get in the fucking time machine? We did it.”
  - “It's all a bunch of shit.”
  - “It's all a bunch of goddamn shit.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Drunk again, I see.”

## S7 E4 — 4. Baby Not on Board
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0704.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter wins a year of unlimited gas, and Brian suggests that the family use the funds to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. So the Griffins pack up the car and hit the road, but leave some very precious cargo at home. When the family finally realizes that they have left behind one of their own, it's a mad, explosive, hilarious dash back to Quahog.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I had lots of time to masturbate, which in space, is great.”
  - “If you were gay and you had to have sex with either John Forsythe or Sean Connery, who would it be? Oh, that's easy.”
  - “Sir, this employee just made a sexual remark to me.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I finally get to see what a vagina looks Oh, God.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “By the way, I disabled the V-chip, and I watched so much porn.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Oh, fuck! You blow that fucking horn again, I swear to God I will ram that fucking thing up your goddamn ass! All aboard for the Grand Canyon.”
  - “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”
  - “You put gasoline in Stewie's bottle? You damn fool! You're more useless than Aquaman.”
  - “Peter, what the hell is that? It's a space shuttle, Lois.”
  - “What the hell? Where are we? Getting to know your remote is easier than you might think.”
  - “Oh, this sucks.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm stuck behind some fat ass driving too slow.”
  - “Some fat ass flipped me off.”

## S7 E5 — 5. The Man with Two Brians
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0705.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After watching Johnny Knoxville on "Jackass," Peter and the guys film their own shenanigans. When Brian gets hurt, the family worries that he's getting too old, so Peter brings home a new dog. Everything is great until the "new Brian" crosses the line and humps Stewie's favorite toy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You were masturbating when I came in.”
  - “And now every time you're sleeping with him, he's gonna be thinking of me.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Dear diary: “Today, at the school library, I saw a picture in National Geographic of a woman with nipples that cover most of her breasts too.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “We've all seen your compilation video, Brian: Shatner singing "Rocket Man," drunk Orson Welles doing that commercial Sylvester Stallone in that porno, and Bill Cosby beating up that midget.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “My name's Johnny Knoxville and I'm gonna take a shotgun blast to the face.”
  - “Because, uh, I got this new gun.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “"And that is why I killed myself, chopped myself up and put myself in the garbage.”
  - “Suicide? How could we have misjudged him so severely? Oftentimes it's the ones who seem the happiest.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Aah! What the fuck? Why would you do that? Hey, you guys, Lois says it's time for dinner.”
  - “I used to have a guy for that, dick.”
  - “What does that mean? It means that this damn thing doesn't work at all.”
  - “You poor damn fool.”
  - “Aah! What the hell is the matter with you? Outside.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “And I got you this bag of weed.”
  - “He's acting all crazy, like Quagmire when he drunk-dials me.”
  - “Well, he's obviously drunk.”

## S7 E6 — 6. Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0706.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter's boss Angela sends him back to the third grade so that he can qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie open the coolest club in Quahog.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Can you use it in a dirty sentence? I like to bring transient hookers to the oak tree where I asphyxiate myself at the same time I'm watching them have sex.”
  - “And by laughing at other people's sexuality somehow I feel better about my own.”
  - “You wanna have unprotected sex? Hmm What the hell did Stewie do to this place? Hey, get a load of Maynard G.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Whoa, these are the tightest, penis-compressingest sperm-killingest, testicle-grippingest jeans I ever tried on.”
  - “So, uh, who wants to come back to the hotel and take a whack at my genitals? - Cool.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Andy Dick? - Oh, no.”
  - “What the hell just happened? Andy Dick happened.”
  - “Griffin, what the hell is this? It's a robot that I built to save this company money.”
  - “Who the hell cares? Peter, I would like to remind you that you are in a classroom.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “And whoever collects the most is gonna win a free weekend here with international foods and wine tasting.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…Take me out to pLace tonight Where a dude can pick a fight Over who takes home That smoking Chinese bar skank On the right There's a throng of trendy people And they're stretched Around the block And there's one…”

## S7 E7 — 7. Ocean's Three and a Half
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0707.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie! Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper. Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a bookie to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “That's why I always use a condom.”
  - “This programming brought to you in part by Kobe Brand condoms.”
  - “And I've seen Peter when he's frozen in sex-face.”
  - “The protection you want for the sex she doesn't.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “How do you know when you're done painting? How do you know when you're done making love? Oh, when you wash your penis in the sink and go to bed.”
  - “Now, let's go put your penis on.”
  - “Remember when he bailed for that trip to the spa and we had to find another guy? God, Seamus, I've never seen you this naked.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “" Go fuck yourself.”
  - “What, uh? How the hell are you alive? Hey, Peter.”
  - “Damn right you're paying for the full day.”
  - “Get out of there! Get the hell out of my wife, you little bastard! Okay, here we go.”
  - “Joe? What the hell? Are you working here? I have to, Quagmire.”
  - “In about an hour, I'm gonna piss away 20 grand.”
  - “My father-in-law has treated me like crap for 20 years, and it's time for a little payback.”
  - “Hey, fellas, knock off all that high-society crap and play some of this.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Let's go down to The Clam and drink beer and watch sports.”
  - “That's because it has my secret ingredient in it: Vodka.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Just what I need: “To be rubbed down by big fatty, an old black guy, a cripple and a pervert.”

## S7 E8 — 8. Family Gay
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0708.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To help pay off his incredible debt, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash. First, he is injected with the "Seth Rogen" gene that "gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny." Then he is injected with a gene that leads him to a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind. Although the family is crushed, they quickly realize the most important thing is that Peter is happy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Some of the milk in the fridge is not milk it's horse sperm.”
  - “Yes, you're going to have sex with me.”
  - “Dad, now that you're gay, I don't have to have sex with you, do I? Not unless you want to.”
  - “I mean, a person's sexual identity is no more a choice than the color of his skin.”
  - “Okay, everybody ready? Oh, God, I feel like a kid in a candy store who's having sex with a bunch of gay guys.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Penis for your thoughts.”
  - “Oh, for the love of penis.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “So we're gonna beat him up for it.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Are you finished with butt-fucking puns? Just tell me.”
  - “Take back your fucking horse!”
  - “You bought a horse? Why the hell did? I didn't give you that much money.”
  - “I have no idea how the hell we're gonna pay for this.”
  - “Is this one of those movies where you're an educated Boston street tough? - I don't have to take that crap from you.”
  - “You what? - Oh, you bastard.”
  - “What's going on here? Holy crap! Ah! These are mine.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, doc, are we gonna be much longer? I gotta get some beers with the fellas before I go out on this date.”
  - “Me and my friends Polly and Matty are going out to drink a ton of beers.”
- Homophobic jokes — 2 moment(s)
  - “I am so gay for you, Scott.”
  - “I'm so gay for you, Peter.”

## S7 E9 — 9. The Juice Is Loose!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0709.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter cashes in a raffle ticket from 1989 and wins a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. When Peter befriends the infamous former running back and brings him home to meet the family, the residents of Quahog aren't so welcoming to the new houseguest and tell him to take a hike.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I dare you to make out with Joe for 15 seconds.”
- Violence & injury — 12 moment(s)
  - “Peter, he murdered two people.”
  - “He's a murderer.”
  - “Simpson is a murderer.”
  - “Talking about the murders.”
  - “Man, sometimes I just feel like I could just stab her repeatedly.”
  - “J? Are you sure you wouldn't like to confess to the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman? What? What the hell is that? You're wearing a wire.”
  - “I am so murdered.”
  - “Well, that makes up for one murder.”
  - “And that makes up for the other murder.”
  - Our top story: “Quahog, Rhode Island, known for quaint neighborhoods white, sandy beaches, and harboring bloodthirsty murderers? That's right, Tom.”
  - “Don't put a knife in it.”
  - “…a lass above his station But soft, Ron My husband draws near Nicole I'm back from filming The third Naked Gun movie Oh, horror You have betrayed me Al Cowling said it would be so Kato I didn't see a thing Well, it…”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “What are you doing? - Fucking your girlfriend.”
  - “Okay, what the hell? I'm an open-minded person.”
  - “What the hell? Call the fire brigade.”
  - “You bastard.”
  - “So, Lois, you still pissed at me about Stewie being on the roof? - Yes, Peter, I am.”
  - “Where's my screwdriver? Holy crap.”

## S7 E10 — FOX-y Lady
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0710.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois lands a job as a news reporter where her first assignment is to shoot an investigative expose on a liberal filmmaker, but when her story implicates a conservative radio host she gets canned.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Lois, if it makes you feel any better, I'm thinking about her every time I masturbate to her.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Oh, we just use Ann Coulter's vagina.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “So it was murder.”
  - “It emits a noise that only Al Gore can hear.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “How does it feel to have the hottest film in Hollywood? What the fuck? Did you eat pussy backstage? And now the real reason to have an HDTV.”
  - “We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it, and we'll do it live! Fucking thing sucks! In five, four, three That's tomorrow and that is it for us today.”
  - “You bitch! We now return to Woody Allen's Bananas Over Broadway.”
  - “Okay, now, I also had a thought for a female character who's always nagging at Red Heinie Monkey and telling him not to leave his beer cans lying around and whatnot, and her name is Bitch Duck.”
  - “You don't have to be a dick about it.”
  - “Aw, crap! Does this mean we gotta get a new TV? - Looks that way.”
  - “God damn it! Mom, do you ever feel not so fresh down there? No.”
  - “They report whatever they damn well please.”
  - “Well, what the hell do you want to do? She's poison.”
  - “Limbaugh, do you have anything to say to Fox News about this - What the hell? - Who are you? What's that suit on the bed? And what have you done with your gay lover, Rush Limbaugh? I am Rush Limbaugh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “What's wrong with your picture? Well, see, I got drunk and then got my picture taken.”
  - “So that way when I get pulled over for drunk driving, I look the same as on my license.”

## S7 E11 — Not All Dogs Go to Heaven
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0711.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: The Griffin family heads to the annual Quahog "Star Trek" convention, but Stewie blows a fuse when he doesn't get a chance to ask his favorite "Star Trek: The Next Generation" cast members any questions. He devises a plan, builds a transporter and beams the entire cast to his bedroom so they can spend a fun-filled day together.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, did you hook up - with Whoopi Goldberg on the show? - All the time.”
  - “Ben, what have I told you about trading sexual favors for Sudafed? Look, Meg, I've had enough of this.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Well, where are they? - Under your penis.”
  - “I've got girl boobs.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, you want to see a sweet porn website? Follow me upstairs.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “…Quahog Star Trek convention, where once a year, sci-fi buffs take their lips off the barrel of a loaded gun and spend half a day adjusting their eyes to sunlight.”
  - “What do you mean you found the Lord? I've been washed in the blood of the lamb.”
  - “What is it? It's my blood.”
  - “Dear Lord, please give me the cheat codes for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! I have been stuck on Bald Bull for four years.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “Oh, fuck you, Michael! Fifteen years later you've still got that attitude.”
  - “I hope you all fucking die.”
  - “Fuck! English - US - SDH”
  - “This is horse shit! And that's the last question.”
  - “What the hell? I have a question for Gates McFadden.”
  - “You bastards! I'll get my question answered one way or another.”
  - “Holy crap! No way! I know, huh? Classic.”
  - “Peter, what the hell? I don't want to catch the mumps, Lois.”
  - “It's that damn religion channel.”
  - “…of God would put you in a house where no one respects or cares about you, not even enough to get you a damn mumps shot?”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Do they have beer? Hey, Brian.”
  - “With wine, red wine.”
  - “Do you like the wine? - Very much.”
  - “Well, to be honest, I lied for booze.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “If there were a God, would he have put you here on Earth with a flat chest and a fat ass? - I'm made in his image.”

## S7 E12 — 420
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0712.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Brian gets thrown in the slammer for drug possession, he launches a campaign to legalize marijuana. Mayor West passes the law, and the whole town goes to pot.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Hey, Brian, did you do hard time? Or hardly working? Penis.”
  - “Hey, check out the size of Stewie's penis.”
  - “So I need some of your urine, so I can Uh, you don't have to be naked for this.”
  - “But I don't have to not be naked for it, either.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “There's a blood-soaked corpse in the back seat.”
  - “The driver's inebriated and covered in blood.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! What do we got, partner? Empty alcohol containers.”
  - “Well, what is it? What's the big damn deal? Look.”
  - “What the hell are we doing? Quagmire, since when do you like cats? Since I found this little guy living under my house.”
  - “Oh, crap! God, I hate cops.”
  - “Crap! Just a sec.”
  - “Brian, what the hell? Uh, hey, Lois.”
  - “" Not bad, eh? Damn it! That was Fox News.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 9 moment(s)
  - “…three, ho! A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o' weed No, you don't need meth and you don't need speed Because everything is better with a bag o' weed Have a go, Brian.”
  - “You've smoked pot.”
  - “Pot is illegal because William Randolph Hearst ran a smear campaign against marijuana in the 1930s to protect his interests in the timber industry, because hemp was poised to replace wood…”
  - “Joe is doing a drug test, and if I give him some of mine, he's gonna know I've been smoking pot.”
  - “What's sick is making marijuana illegal when it's been proven that it does less damage to you than alcohol.”
  - “Brian, when you have to go to these lengths just to get away with smoking pot, it's time to make a change.”
  - “…way of feeling good Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight!”
  - “…said But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear Hey! Because all we need is a bag o' weed to make us want to cheer And one, two A bag o' weed, a bag o' weed Oh, everything is better with a bag o'…”
  - “You know, Peter, it's sort of adding insult to injury raiding Quagmire's fridge for beer after you killed his cat.”

## S7 E13 — Stew-Roids
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0713.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: After Stewie gets his baby butt kicked by Joe's infant daughter, he starts hitting the gym with Peter. It seems like all of Stewie's hard work is paying off until Peter drops a bombshell when he reveals just how Stewie got those six-pack abs. Meanwhile, Chris starts to date a popular girl at school and quickly realizes that popularity is like physics - as in what goes up must come down -.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Come on, girls! Let's go upstairs and make out! Oh, no! Connie's been hurt! I guess I should lie on top of her to keep her warm.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “This one is from when you made a plaster cast of my vagina freshman year.”
  - “I like what you're doing with your boobs.”
  - “There's an ass-to-boob ratio that you're way off of.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “It doesn't have to make sense when you look like this! I am hotter than phone sex with a blind girl.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “You bastard! How the hell can you be cheating on me? I'm the one who made you popular! No, Connie.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “I've got veins They carry blood all over my body That's how John Mayer would say it, "body.”
  - “Good morning, guns of Oh, no! What's happening? I'll tell you what's happening.”
  - “Oh, my God! Stewie! Your kid got beat up by a baby girl! Oh, man! This is more painful to watch than when Family Ties does a Tina Yothers episode.”
  - “My baby boy got beat up by a girl.”
  - “Beating up that Jewish kid made me popular.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You want my help? You can go fuck yourself! Hey, Meg! Think fast! Ah! Loser! - All right, let's do it.”
  - “Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me I'd fuck me so hard Hey, Chris.”
  - “Holy crap! All right.”
  - “Those lying bastards at Johnson & Johnson! - We'll put, "No more tears" on the label.”
  - “What the hell are you Oh, my! Suddenly I'm full of energy! All right, fat man! Let's do this! - Wow, Stewie! You look like a new man.”
  - “Does anyone need the remote? Oh, my God! What the hell happened to Stewie? Yeah, looks good.”
  - “Now let's give you a pencil-thin douchebag beard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Real men have a couple of beers and then project their inadequacies on their kids.”
  - “Why would she go out with me? She must be more drunk than Santa Claus when he got that DUl.”
  - “Ahh Of course you're probably not really into tibia Trivia! Ahh Boy! That global warming, huh? They say we lost a foot of snow last winter Ahh Hey, how about another beer?”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Doesn't he? Let's see that little dyke, Susie Swanson, beat him up now.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, will you look at me? I have the power! He-Man We now return to Lady and the Tramp and Michael Vick.”
  - “Hey, Chris, after school today, we're gonna go to the pizza place and make that single mother who works there feel like a slut.”

## S7 E14 — We Love You Conrad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0714.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian discovers that his beloved Jillian is getting married, he hits the sauce to drown his sorrows. The next morning, he wakes up with more than a hangover. After realizing he has hooked up with "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad, he wants to run and hide. When Brian discovers Lauren is nothing like how she's portrayed on TV, he thinks he may have found his perfect match - if only he can let Jillian go.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I mean, it's a little weird, isn't it? This new Lauren Conrad relationship? When asked about their sex life, Brian was quoted as saying, "Oh, yeah, we just do it me style.”
  - “Okay, ready? I've been reading up on things that sound sexy.”
  - “What the hell's wrong with you? That's not sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “God, what a douchebag! I can't believe that came out of Bruce Jenner's vagina.”
  - “But Lauren carries one in her vagina.”
  - “Oh, are they showing? It's a really thin bra.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I'm on camera all day, and I turned my back on my own kind! So, why don't you think before you say things for a fucking change? Look, there's Brody Jenner.”
  - “Say that after a fortnight in town, bitch.”
  - “So, you know, guys - Bitch.”
  - “She invited everybody except me? What the hell? We dated for six months! Ouch.”
  - “Oh! Oh, Man! What the hell did I do last night? Good morning.”
  - “I still feel like crap, though.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Order me a beer.”
  - “Apparently, she gave that dog a bone and he gave it right back! Look, I was drunk out of my mind.”
  - “So, Lauren, do you and Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan all hang out and go drunk-driving together? I heard that Lindsay Lohan wasn't driving that night.”

## S7 E15 — Three Kings
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0715.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter discovers the writing of Stephen King, he imagines his family and friends in three of King's most famous works. First, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe - as 12-year-olds - travel along a railroad track on a journey of self-discovery narrated by Richard Dreyfuss. Second, Brian is injured in a bad car crash only to be "rescued" by his "number one fan," Stewie. Finally, Cleveland and Peter become fast friends in prison.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “He had sex when he was five and committed his first rape when he was 10, rape, of course, being legal in the '50s.”
  - “Or you could just have sex with Helen Hunt.”
  - “You're a jerk, and I had sex with your mother last night.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Vagina boob.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Have gun, will travel reads the card of a man A knight without armor in a savage land Okay, I got another one.”
  - “I mean, you have a gun right now.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Unfortunately, about a week ago, he took an overdose of designer drugs at The Viper Room.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Fuck that.”
  - “You know, Lois has been bitching lately that I watch too much TV and don't read enough books, so I went to the library and picked up three books by the greatest author of the last thousand years, Stephen King.”
  - “You don't have to be a dick about it.”
  - “'"You remember the name of the town in Mexico, right? '" Shit! What? Is that him? Is that No, no.”
  - “Doesn't that piss you off? Quag grew up to become a famous Hollywood actor.”
  - “I'm gonna take the poop pipe to the crap swamp.”
  - “Dufresne? Dufresne? Dufresne, you better get your ass out here before you make me cut this sentence - Where is he? Where the hell is Dufresne? - I don't know, sir.”
  - “Where the hell is that jack-off? There's, like, 1,200 bucks in that box.”
  - “If he ran off with that, oh, I am gonna be so pissed.”

## S7 E16 — Peter's Progress
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0716.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter has his palm read by a psychic who reveals that he had a fascinating past life as Griffin Peterson, a dignified gentleman who vied for the love of Lady Redbush in 17th century England and in the newly founded American colony of Quahog. It was a time of great love and adventure where King Stewart reigned supreme, the smartest dog in the room was the court jester, army lieutenants were merely boys and even old England loved "How I Met Your Mother".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “I'm so horny.”
  - “We have to have sex in order for me to bear you a son.”
  - “Darn it! I'm gonna be so horny tomorrow at 4:00.”
  - “We can have sex right now on the table.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Damn it! Oh I wanted to do sex to her tonight.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And then she'll be all mine! Why is he such a jerk to everybody? Because he has a very, very small penis.”
  - “What'd you do? I slept with an underage virgin to cure my puff penis.”
  - “Can I feel those boobs? - No! Daddy! What are you? Sick? - Hey, it's a different time! What a wonderfully exciting day! I'm young, I'm all dressed up, and I'm on my way to marry the woman I love.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “…never had no kind of trouble There was no hint of misery Then all at once the trouble started A pack of murderers and thieves Like swarms of locusts they descended Their aim to make the town folk flee They've got to…”
  - “Just full-blooded whites.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “" And she said, "Which one?" You know, you're gonna be fucking dead in five seconds if Aunt Frieda doesn't throw a pie at somebody! I mean, part of that is you sort of have to know my - Make me laugh! - Hey, look.”
  - “What the fuck? I remember once she wrote a letter to my Uncle Tom, from whom she'd been divorced for several years.”
  - “Yes! Yes, this is so awesome! Damn it! Oh! That's so cool! That's so cool! Do me next.”
  - “Aw, crap! A splinter.”
  - “Yes, I am, sir! I want you to turn this settlement upside down until you find Lady Redbush and Griffin Peterson! That fat bastard thinks he can steal my bride and get away with it?”

## S8 E1 — 1. Road to the Multiverse
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0801.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: With the help of an out-of-this-world remote control, Stewie and Brian travel through alternate universes, including a post-apocalyptic world, a parallel world run by dogs where humans are pets and a "Robot Chicken"-like existence.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yabba dabba - Rock-Peter? - Yes, Rock-Lois? That was wonderful rock-sex we had last rock-night.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “If you saw Lois, your penis would shoot right off your body.”
  - “Good Lord, I'm naked! And why am I holding a dinner platter that says "McCain-Feingold"? That's pretty good.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Joe, Transformers, ThunderCats, He-Man! Those shows existed! How does it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds? - Fuck you! - Bye.”
  - “Yes! That ought to wake people up! - Shut the fuck up.”
  - “He's something, isn't he? - Are those fists? Damn right.”
  - “How the hell did you do this? - I'll let you in on a little secret, Brian.”
  - “What the hell kind of farm breeds pigs like this? Would you like to see it for yourself, Brian? - Yeah, I would.”
  - “Brian, give me the damn device!”
  - “My name's not Gabe! - You're in big trouble, you little crap! - You shouldn't have done that, little fellow.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…that means I have cool parents who take me on expensive ski trips on spring break, and I get to drink wine with dinner even though I'm only 14 and Oh, my God!”

## S8 E2 — 2. Family Goy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0802.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois' heritage. Peter takes to the family's newfound faith eagerly, but when he is visited by the ghost of his father, he changes his tune. After a visit from an old friend sets him straight, Peter and Lois agree to go back to the way things were. Meanwhile, Quagmire finds out about internet porn.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “You don't think I know where you've been? How dare you make a fool of me? Did you have sex with that fat kid? Did you? Answer me! Oh, my God.”
  - “A lump? Holy crap! Peter, stop that! We're not having sex.”
  - “You know what else? I picked out a sexy little Jewish outfit for you at the store.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “They've got, like, thousands, literally millions of naked pictures on the Internet.”
  - “You and your wonderful smile, and your beautiful eyes, and your awesome third boob that's on top of the other boob.”
  - “Peter, that's not a boob.”
  - “It appears the lump in your breast is not black gross boob death.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've been spoiled by Internet porn.”
  - “What do you mean, "Internet porn"? - You don't know about Internet porn? Don't know what? I'm not really a computer guy.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “What the hell? Are you out of your fucking mind? Relax, Lois.”
  - “See you later, bitches.”
  - “Quagmire, you don't use the Internet? You mean that crappy dial-up thing that's a pain in the ass? No, I don't use the damn Internet.”
  - “What the hell is going on? I sent you to pick up dinner an hour ago.”
  - “What's going on here? Where am I? What the Huh? What the hell's going on here? What? Peter! Dad? What do you think you're doing, Peter? You were raised Catholic.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “'" Allen Iverson, picked up for marijuana possession and carrying a concealed weapon.”
  - “You know, Horace still has one of those old beer promotion cutouts of her from, like, 1994, in the back room.”
  - “And, you know, tricking some bigger, more athletic people? Lois, not that I'm rushing you, but when do we get to the wine drinking? Hang on.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? That whore! She's betrayed me worse than Lady Macbeth betrayed Duncan.”

## S8 E3 — 3. Spies Reminiscent of Us
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0803.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie and Brian are suspicious when two guys move into Cleveland's old house, and when they find out Dan and Chevy are spies and they have dossiers of all the people in Quahog they follow them on a mission to Russia and end up in hot water .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Tap me, Quagmire, tap me! Quagmire went to the bank to donate sperm because it's a sperm bank.”
  - “"I want to dress up like a clown "and have sex with children and kill them, pilgrims.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “"Where's my penis, pilgrims?" And here's John Wayne Gacy at the first Thanksgiving.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “How come there are two toilets? - The other one's for blood.”
  - “Wouldn't that be DUMPF? - The "F" is silent, like in "knife.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Here's your beer, honey.”
  - “I don't remember asking for a warm beer.”

## S8 E4 — 4. Brian's Got a Brand New Bag
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0804.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian snags an older woman, he becomes the laughingstock of the family, but things go from bad to worse when she breaks her hip and Brian has to be her errand-boy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Is that your condom? - No! I mean I mean, I wasn't gonna use that on your daughter.”
  - “I mean, I wouldn't I would not use a condom on your daughter.”
  - “You want to have sex in the bathroom? Oh, gosh! What a treat! Yes.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I mean, I would if I was having sex with her, which obviously I would not do.”
  - “What I get from you is what I always wanted, a smart, sexy, real person who I can talk with and share every piece of me with.”
- Nudity & bodies — 7 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter, for God's sakes! If you're gonna do that, at least aim for my nipples.”
  - “She got a chair in that shower? - Shut up! Have archaeologists ever discovered ancient Egyptian pottery in her vagina? You know what? That one was too wordy.”
  - “Not sure I like chiseled quads so close to a vagina.”
  - “When I'm on my back, sometimes my breast can slide in my armpit.”
  - “Was that your boob? - God, no! I think I broke my hip.”
  - “Okay, I guess small boobs are good for swimming.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? - You cheated on me.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Get the fucking crack! Brian, you want some lasagna? No, thanks.”
  - “You know what? Just take your fucking keys.”
  - “I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.”
  - “Hey, Brian, who are you dating? Jessica Tandy? Son of a bitch! Damn it, Chris, I called that from upstairs! What are you guys talking about? She's a beautiful woman.”
  - “What did you say to me? - Peter, what are you doing? - Get off my plane! - That's not even the same What the hell? You're not gonna talk to me like that in my bar! It's not a bar Oh, that's right.”
  - “Okay, that is the last time you are gonna pull that crap! - You hear me? - Yes! Do you hear me? Yes! And you are gonna hold down that football until Charlie Brown kicks it.”
  - “I mean, all the crap I take for dating young bimbos.”
  - “Baking soda? What the hell, I can skip a night.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Maybe far away Or maybe real nearby He may be pouring her coffee She may be straightening his tie Help! Somebody! These drunk redneck truckers are trying to have their way with me!”

## S8 E5 — 5. Hannah Banana
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0805.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Stewie scores tickets to a famous teen pop singer's concert, he ends up meeting and becoming great friends with her, but things get weird when he discovers one of her darkest secrets. Meanwhile, Chris tries to prove to the family that the Evil Monkey is real.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Lois, could you ask Chris to pass the maple syrup? Meg, could you tell Dad that he's too fat to need extra syrup? Lois, could you tell Chris that I'm sorry I ever planted the seed version of him in your vagina?”
  - “But I have to warn you, I think her vagina is also a DVD burner.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “You see, basically, I got home from work one day and found my wife cheating on me with another monkey.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Lois doesn't like my toenails 'cause they stab her in the night.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like when America was attacked by mentally-challenged suicide bombers.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Come on, you fat fuck.”
  - “I'd get up to hug you, but sitting down's the only thing keeping the shit in.”
  - “Oh, damn! - How is it? You know what? We'll put you in the '80s.”
  - “I got you, you bastard! Well, here he is! The evil monkey! Do you believe me now? - Holy crap! - It is real! - Oh, my God! I thought I was the only one! - Meg, we're doing Chris' monkey.”
  - “Oh, my God! Chris was right! - Holy crap! Chris, is that thing dangerous? - Yes! He's evil! - I'm not really evil.”
  - “No, it isn't! You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me! You go to hell! - Hi, we're on the list.”
  - “And even if you did, you never listen! And now you're getting mad at the monkey because he actually cares? Screw you! You are the worst dad in the world, and I hate you! Well Well, I hate you, too! Oh, damn.”
  - “What the hell are you doing here? I thought I was meeting Lois.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Right after I show you how to make homemade root-beer popsicles.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Chris is gonna be so gay by the end of this.”

## S8 E6 — 6. Quagmire's Baby
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0806.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby who looks just like him, he quickly realizes he may be in over his head. Meanwhile, Stewie clones himself in order to have a personal assistant.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I've never had sex before, and I probably wouldn't have been much good at it.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Is this some kind of sexual thing? Nobody said anything about sexual.”
  - “There's nothing sexual about it.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Like when I decided to try that radical penis enlargement.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “That stripper has a rash on her ass just like Anna Lee used to get.”
  - “And that other stripper's sitting on that guy's lap - just like Anna Lee used to do.”
  - “Let's just enjoy the strippers.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Today, in Kuzikistan, a peaceful demonstration turned to bloodshed as members of the Turzili tribe flooded Kenpao Square in remembrance of the third anniversary of the Holmsburg Massacre.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Do you want me to dig around and see if No, fuck it.”
  - “I have to remain superior, so I bred out some of the intelligence, made him sort of a simpleton, you know? I call him Bitch Stewie.”
  - “Would you like to meet him? - Would you like to meet Bitch Stewie? - Yeah.”
  - “Yeah, no shit.”
  - “Who the hell was that? - Hmm? There was another Stewie right there.”
  - “Well, you know, I've been so damn busy lately, my schedule's been so packed, I felt like I needed some kind of an errand boy to do all my nitpicky, pain-in-the-ass stuff, so I cloned myself.”
  - “I didn't realize somebody was in here What the hell? - Oh, hello, Brian.”
  - “Damn kid's kept me up every night for two weeks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Amazingly, this drunk driver turns left into oncoming traffic.”

## S8 E7 — 7. Jerome Is the New Black
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0807.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Feeling blue, Peter and the guys interview potential friends to fill the vacancy left by Cleveland. The interview process leads them to Jerome but things don't look so good when it's discovered that Quagmire hates him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Damn it! That son of a bitch! Thinks he can sleep with my wife.”
  - “…you can't have her! You are no longer welcome in my house! What you talking about, Peter? But you can't have sex with Lois!”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “While I was living with y'all, I had myself lots of nasty-ass sex with Meg.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Her boyfriend has been beating her mercilessly.”
  - “…here! I'll get out when I'm finished! You feel good about your sex joke earlier, Brian? He's savagely beating her again!”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Thanks for the fucking steak.”
  - “Last night we went to club and it was totally bitches.”
  - “Yeah! Shut up, bitch! Hey, you know what they say.”
  - “Damn it! That son of a bitch! Thinks he can sleep with my wife.”
  - “Why the hell wouldn't we be able to trust him? All right, you guys want the truth? Before me and Lois were married, our new friend used to slip her the old Pringles can.”
  - “You bastard! Nick was no good for her and it broke Skippy Handelman's heart! Dear God and Black Jesus! Black Jesus The kingdom of God is inside you, at least it will be in a second.”
  - “Black Jesus Jerome? What the What the hell are you doing here? Oh, Peter, something terrible's happened.”
  - “Hey, could I see that? Damn it! You ass! - Easy, Clark.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “All your favorite once acceptable hits, like Drunk Old Injun.”
  - “The drunk old Injun squatting in his teepee Firewater keeping him warm Jewish Nose.”
  - “Paris is lovely, and Nice sure is nice And Marseille is charming with champagne on ice But you, stinky Frenchman, haven't a clue Pew, stinky Frenchman, frog you Hey There, Fruity.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Their most bigoted songs.”

## S8 E8 — 8. Dog Gone
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0808.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Brian accidentally kills another dog he is surprised to see that no one cares so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. Meanwhile, Lois hires a maid who doesn't listen to Peter.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “A few nights ago, I committed a murder.”
  - “Just to prove a point to me, you burned down a liquor store and murdered a dog? Well, a stray.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you shut your goddamn mouth for once and go home and fuck your wife in the face? You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do.”
  - “Get me the fuck down from here.”
  - “What am I, a fucking clown? Humans will chuckle at this.”
  - “What? You took it? - Well, give it back! - Come get, bitch.”
  - “Why were you getting MapQuest directions to Abigail Breslin's house? I just think she's a one-of-a-kind spirit, and I don't want to see her go down the wrong What the hell are you doing going through my personal stuff?”
  - “I am sick as hell of you constantly making a mess of this house and having to clean up after you.”
  - “Hey! There he is! It's Brian Griffin! Damn it, Randy.”
  - “…not talking about you, Peter! I'm talking about PETA! Somebody better have something to say to me pretty damn soon or I'm gonna have something to say to them.”
  - “Poor bastard's more upset than I was when I read Curious George Goes to His Gym Coach's Apartment.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm one big, fat, ridiculous joke.”

## S8 E9 — 9. Business Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0809.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter gives Lois' father the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt slips into a coma and not even Dr. House can bring him out of it. With her father incapacitated, Lois is given control ofPewterschmidt Industries. Peter convinces Lois to let him run the operation, but he gets power-hungry and fires the board. Mr. Pewterschmidt soon bounces back and tries to regain control of what he's built - even though it may be more difficult than Christmas shopping for Peter -.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “When was the last time you were raped, murdered and stuffed in a lobster pot? Well, what you waiting for, hm? Come to the Virgin Dutch French Saint Port Croix Lucia Antilles.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Why don't you get a lap dance, Mr.”
  - “Excuse me, miss? This older gentleman would like a lap dance.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “When was the last time you were raped, murdered and stuffed in a lobster pot? Well, what you waiting for, hm? Come to the Virgin Dutch French Saint Port Croix Lucia Antilles.”
  - “stabbed to death in a Toys"R"Us bathroom.”
  - “Unless the first punch knocked him out.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “That's right in my fucking ear.”
  - “Now let's sit on chairs next to each other and get dick dances.”
  - “And you, give this old bastard the ride of his life.”
  - “Peter, what the hell is going on? You fired everybody at Daddy's company? - You bet.”
  - “What the hell is that? It's an African-American heart monitor made by your company.”
  - “You're damn right I'm okay.”
  - “Don't you Damn it.”
  - “What gives you the right to treat me like this? You've been treating me like crap for 20 years.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We all had pot brownies on the plane.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I was blowing chinks like crazy.”

## S8 E10 — Big Man on Hippocampus
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0810.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: After Peter hits his head and develops amnesia, he forgets everything, including his family and his friends. Lois takes extra care of Peter and tries everything to jog his memory and until he starts hitting on other women. Fed up with his antics, Lois takes the kids and leaves, giving Quagmire his opportunity to swoop in and score.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “So, what are your hobbies, Chris? - Masturbating.”
  - “Me masturbating.”
  - “You can't have sex with the kids.”
  - “You ready to have sex? You bet.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “That was what they call sex? Yes, it was, Peter.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Both his first and last names are slang for penis.”
  - “Lois' vagina was so wrecked they had to sew it up open up a new vagina next to it.”
  - “So, what do we do here? We usually come here, you buy us drinks and tell us what Lois's nipples look like, like you always do.”
  - “Please get nude.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You see, this is your fork and this is a knife.”
  - “That's not a knife.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Get it? Tooth hurty? Ha-ha-ha! You son of a bitch.”
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “Lois who? - Who the hell am I? - Uh-oh.”
  - “Oh, damn it.”
  - “Why the hell not? - Because we're married.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Boy, you know, I don't know how a half a glass of wine got me so lightheaded.”

## S8 E11 — Dial Meg for Murder
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0811.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl, but when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg's secret to the family, he finds that her boyfriend, Luke, has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin's house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “That taste better than a guy's penis, I tell you.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “How did you get out? I filed a toothbrush to a fine point and stabbed the guard with kids.”
  - “Who says I couldn't be a rodeo star? I got more cowboy blood in me than Billy the Kid.”
  - “Did you get your butt hair braided too while you were in there? What'd you do? Carve a gun out of soap and then not wash with it? Ha, ha.”
  - “Meg, put down the gun.”
  - “Punch yourself in the face.”
  - “Punch your baby in the fa - I did good, Meg? - Shut up.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Am I the only one who thinks she's getting fucked up there? Hey, Meg.”
  - “They haven't turned into bitches.”
  - “You're all my bitches now.”
  - “But I believe I hold the distinction of My house now, bitch.”
  - “What the hell? That there's my steer, Griffin.”
  - “Brian, you bastard.”
  - “Don't give him crap for this, Meg.”
  - “What the hell? I'm used to going to the bathroom in my room.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “The next day you're spitting balloons of heroin into their mouths during visits.”
  - “We now go live to Drunk Billy in the Channel Five News copter.”
  - “Channel Five News copter pilot, Drunk Billy passed away today.”
  - “Pick up wine on the way.”
  - “There better be beer in the fridge.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Where are you going, fatty? We're gonna have a party.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meg, you gonna take those soda cans to the Shaw-skank Redemption Center? Peter, Meg's been suspended from school.”

## S8 E12 — Extra Large Medium
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0812.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Chris and Stewie go missing for several days, Lois is at her wit's end until she sees a psychic who assures her they are safe. Even after the boys return home, Lois and Peter's psychic obsession continues, and Peter takes it a step too far when he starts charging neighbors for his extrasensory perception. Meanwhile, Chris develops a crush on a girl at school.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I'm just sorry I never got to make out with her.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Even a complete boob like Peter.”
  - “Okay, like a young 12, or like a "she eats a lot of milk products so she got her boobs early" 12? Which is real.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Uh, unless you're gonna pull a sundae out of your belly button I'd get your ass in the fucking kitchen.”
  - “Freaking FDR's ass bitch.”
  - “Just now, talking to that bitch cancer widow.”
  - “You're just a bunch of assholes like everyone else.”
  - “What the hell you think you're doing? - Sitting down.”
  - “Yes! You're damn right! Hell, yeah! You can suck it.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…because The only smell that she'll be smellin' Won't be coming from your bum You wanna take that little whore And spin her on the dancing floor But, boy, before you do a single twirl You must impress that…”

## S8 E13 — Go, Stewie, Go!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0813.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie wants to audition for his favorite show, "Jolly Farm," but when he finds out they are only auditioning little girls, he creates and alter ego by dressing up a la "Tootsie." Meanwhile, Meg finds herself a normal guy to date and shocks the entire city of Quahog.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 8 moment(s)
  - “We'll have sex.”
  - “Yeah? Maybe I wanna have sex with a fat guy right now.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Can we make out now? Oh, I forgot my Oh, my God.”
  - “The point is, it's healthy to explore your sexuality.”
  - “Man, your accent is sexy.”
  - “What's this? Peter, you know how you always say you wanna do more role playing? I was thinking, how about I be the sexy suburban mom and you be my daughter's boyfriend Anthony? Not tonight.”
  - “You do? - Maybe I like having sex with fat guys.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “I had an affair once.”
  - “You had an affair? Mm-hm.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Now, which picture? Playful, or more playful? Who the fuck took these? The professional photographer.”
  - “Is he playing a dick? All right, everybody.”
  - “Oh, just get the hell out of here.”
  - “Damn right, you don't.”
  - “Me? What the hell did I do? - You've made me feel so unattractive that I went and did something disgusting and I'm ashamed of myself.”

## S8 E14 — Peter-assment
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0814.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a full-time paparazzo. To make matters worse, his new boss, Angela, finds him irresistible and plagues him with unwanted advances. When Peter rebuffs her, he winds up getting the ax. Meanwhile, Stewie makes his theatrical debut in a school play, only to be overcome with stage fright.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 9 moment(s)
  - “I know she's gonna make me have sex with her.”
  - “What am I gonna do? If you have sex with her, you give her all the power.”
  - “And, um, I would have had sex with you but Peter neglected to tell me that you are a complete dumpster fire.”
  - “But you can't kill yourself every time somebody won't sleep with you.”
  - “Just sleep with me just this once and it'll give me everything I need.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Your father was sexually harassed at work today.”
  - “So what? Peter, a woman can't sexually harass a man.”
  - “It was just awful sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “What'd you do to your mother's vagina?”
  - “He's writing your name in the shower-door fog with his penis.”
  - “It was like trying to get a deflated balloon into a Uh, well, I guess a normal vagina.”
  - “Taylor rubbed my shoulders for 35 minutes in class the one day I didn't wear a bra.”
- Affairs / cheating — 3 moment(s)
  - “How's that oatmeal? Is it true you're having an affair with that oatmeal? What about the rumors that you have a full diaper? - I'm trying to eat.”
  - “Oh, if only I could, but I must to a Jew to put my affairs in order.”
  - “You cheated on your wife.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look, Angela, I came over here to punch you and maybe kick you in the boob.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm just gonna stay here and kill myself.”
  - “Mm, well, hopefully there will be no more talk of suicide.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Oh, fuck it!”
  - “God, can't you go anywhere these days without these damn paparazzi? Where're you going? Going to the bathroom? You gonna have a close encounter of the turd kind? Ha-ha-ha.”
  - “Damn, Griffin.”
  - “What the hell do I do? - I might be able to help you, Peter.”
  - “What the hell is going on here? Oh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “But, Peter, you're drunk.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…Murphy, what was that thing with that transvestite? Bernie Mac, how come you died? Oprah, why are you so fat?”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Do it! - Now get out of here, you slut.”

## S8 E15 — Brian Griffin's House of Payne
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0815.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Lois reads Brian's pilot script, she falls in love with it and insists that he meet with network executives to pitch it. The execs respond positively, and the initial casting session goes well with Elijah Wood auditioning for the lead role. But when the suits insist that Brian hire James Woods and change the entire concept, Brian finds himself caught between a rock and a hard place. Meanwhile, Chris and Meg seriously injure Stewie and try to cover it up.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “You have to sleep with the next guy that walks through that door.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Naked, they would be, like, whoa, mucho sloppy.”
  - “The chimp just ripped the other girl's boob off.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What did you do to it? We hired writers to come in and punch it up a bit.”
  - “Nubbins? Well, if you can't beat them: So, uh, what did you guys think? Not the worst thing in the world, right? - Oh, ha, ha.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “You know what? I don't even know what I did with the copy Oh, fuck, there it is.”
  - “It stands for fuck you.”
  - “Do you guys have a studio lawyer or something? Because, you know, I fucked that chick and I think she's well under 18 years old.”
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “If we can get one good shot at it we can blow that fat bastard out of the cosmos.”
  - “What's this? - What the hell? - Where the hell did this come from? - What is it, Brian? The first thing I ever wrote.”
  - “All right, damn it.”
  - “What is the cast of Two and a Half Men doing here? Well, you're always saying our show sucks.”
  - “How the hell is that relatable? And maybe the monkey is also my roommate.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just banged into some homo's Prius.”

## S8 E16 — April in Quahog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0816.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the local news announces that the Earth will be destroyed by a black hole in 24 hours, everyone in Quahog goes nuts trying to live out their last day.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 8 moment(s)
  - “I've never had sex.”
  - “What? You've had sex a million times.”
  - “I'm a virgin, Joe.”
  - “I don't wanna die a virgin.”
  - “Let me have sex with Bonnie.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hey, you know what else is cool? Having sex with sunglasses on.”
  - “Man, they got some sexy monkeys down there.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “And the nominees for Best Actor in a Leading Role are Grover, Bluto from Popeye a red guy, a boob and Daniel Day-Lewis.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “One bloody Slinky.”
  - “Aw! And a blood-spattered Mr.”
  - “I went this morning with a shotgun, and now I have a lion.”
  - “If your wife ever tells you you're not special punch her really hard right in her hepatitis.”
  - “Did I punch you too hard?" "Yes, you don't know your own strength.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “And with only 87 suicides and widespread looting we think this was a successful practical joke.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “I am so fucking ready.”
  - “Morning, assholes.”
  - “You were excited when you thought there was fecal matter involved? What the hell is fecal matter? - Waste.”
  - “Off to another day of jury duty, sweetie? Yeah, and it sucks.”
  - “Peter, what the hell? I went to the zoo last week and asked, and they told me to scram.”
  - “Hey, uh, they're really pissed at me, aren't they? Oh, look who's starting to get it.”
  - “Now, which one do I press to shoot now? Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “And nowadays things are different, so I got some crystal meth.”
  - “You know, I was just thinking, when I was your age my Uncle Roy shared a beer with me.”
  - “Anyway, I thought him sharing that beer with me was the coolest thing ever.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “See you, ching chong.”

## S8 E17 — Brian & Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0817.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In a Special 150th Episode Event, Brian and Stewie get locked in a bank vault where they are forced to deal with each other on a whole new level.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Why have it if you're not gonna use it? - Ah! Is it, like, a sexual thing? - No.”
  - “Are you sure it's not a sexual thing? - I'm sure.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I like what comes out of Lois' breasts better, but I like this too.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “How are you gonna shoot yourself? There's no gun in here.”
  - “There's a gun in your safety-deposit box, isn't there? Stewie, you don't know how to use that.”
  - “What? What is it? - There's so much blood.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I keep it in case I ever wanna commit suicide, okay? Wow.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “You're out of your fucking mind.”
  - “What are you waiting for? - I'll blow your fucking head off.”
  - “And I've seen you eat shit before, Brian.”
  - “Why don't? It's bitch Sterilize that bitch up, you know? You know, I don't know why I told Matthew that I liked The Bounty Hunter, because I hated it.”
  - “Now you're being an asshole.”
  - “Oh, you would? I got you to eat my shit.”
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “And you bitched yourself out a bite.”
  - “Hello? Hello? We're locked in! Did you? Did you just crap your diaper? I got scared when the door closed.”
  - “Was kind of saving it, but what the hell, right? - Saving it for what? - It's not important.”
  - “Listen, why don't you? You know what, you can just go to hell.”
  - “Oh, you're so full of crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You wasted the one phone call we had to return a sweater? A $3000 sweater, which I am now stuck with.”
  - “Well, we were both drunk.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “You look like a fag.”

## S8 E18 — Quagmire's Dad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0818.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Quagmire gets the surprise of his life on Mother's Day, when his father starts to go through the change of his life.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “What? What the hell? What's wrong with you? - I had sex with her! - What? - I had sex with her at the Marriott! - Aah! Why?! - I didn't know.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “The way he talks, his mannerisms and he had the DVD set of Sex and the City between his butt cheeks.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Your dad had the best penis in the military.”
  - “…then like the fifth or sixth sex, we'll go like this: This is not a joke, okay? They're cutting off his penis in there.”
  - “They just turned it inside out to simulate a vagina.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “At rifle training, he'd help me clean my butt.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I fucked your dad.”
  - “Ugly phoque and bitch.”
  - “Um, is your dad around? He's at his stitch-and-bitch club.”
  - “Your dad was cock of the walk.”
  - “Damn, I was just there.”
  - “Damn thing can't tell the difference.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Huh? Your father's a drunk and mine's a hero.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “We should all be so gay.”

## S8 E19 — The Splendid Source
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0819.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 5/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Peter, Quagmire and Joe search to find the source of all dirty jokes leads them to Virginia, where they reunite with Cleveland and meet his new family,.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Your vagina's in the sink.”
  - “But she's worried because she's got a huge vagina from fucking so many other guys.”
  - “Ugh, that's the end of those underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Drop your guns.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “Ha-ha-ha Damn it! Fuck you, guys! Okay, Quagmire, he's asleep.”
  - “You wanna hear it? This chick goes on a date with this guy she wants to fuck.”
  - “But she's worried because she's got a huge vagina from fucking so many other guys.”
  - “So she gets a piece of liverwurst and shoves it in her vagina so when he fucks her, it'll feel tighter.”
  - “So she puts the liverwurst in her vagina goes home with the guy, fucks him, everything seems fine.”
  - “" No, don't! All the money goes to my bitch ex-wife! - Can you play our song? Okay, lead singer from Asia.”
  - “He cry like a bitch.”
  - “Aah! What the hell? - Hey, help! Help! - We have an emergency! - You dick! - What's going on? - This man has been injured.”
  - “" - Ha-ha-ha! Damn it! Wow, he poops every time he hears that joke.”
  - “Who's texting me? Ha-ha-ha Damn it! Stop it, you guys, you're ruining all my clothes.”
  - “Oh, what the hell, so am I.”
  - “Aah! - Aah! What the hell? What was that about? Who were those guys? I don't know, but I'll tell you this I saw one of them back in the bar in Stoolbend.”
- Fat-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Somebody colored in your ass with too much ass, fat ass.”
  - “And I'll get Fatty McLoudmouth.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Permission to go to the bride-is-a-whore file.”

## S8 E20 — Something, Something, Something, Dark Side
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0820.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In a special one-hour episode, Family Guy's homage to the "Star Wars" saga continues with a retelling of "The Empire Strikes Back".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look, how about this? You buy the condenser, and I'll make out with you.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Prepare to fire giant boob-nipple gun.”
  - “Naked chicks.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Prepare to fire giant boob-nipple gun.”
  - “Okay, the door's gonna open and you guys say, "Freeze," and point your guns at them.”
  - “How am I supposed to run with this? Have we ever hit anybody with these guns? I hit a bird once.”
  - “All right, Chewie, punch it.”
  - “All right, Chewie, punch it! Oh, man.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “Get the fuck out of my bounty hunter meeting.”
  - “Hug it out, bitch.”
  - “You know it, bitches! Hey, Imperial fleet, get ready to suck some Dack! - I think we're doomed.”
  - “I would've also accepted the scene at the end, at the basketball game, where the guy in the crowd has his dick out.”
  - “He's in the stands, way in the background, and he's totally got his dick out.”
  - “That is a bitch you see.”
  - “Then I'll see you in hell! Wait, Han.”
  - “Damn these stubby arms! Well, this is no better.”
  - “Hey, what'd you end up doing with that dog we kidnapped? I killed it and ate it! - Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! - Rebels! Rebels! - Rebels! - Empire sucks! - Rebels! - Rebels! Yeah! - Yeah, Rebels! Yeah.”
  - “Crap! I'm hit! OnStar.”
  - “Ain't that right, Chewie? - Hell, yeah.”
  - “Han, look! Crap, there's two more of them dead ahead.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Last time I was in a dago bar I was drinking a beer in Little Italy.”

## S8 E21 — Partial Terms of Endearment
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0821.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 14+)
Summary: Lois agrees to become a surrogate mother for a friend who is unable to conceive a child of her own. But when the friend and her husband are killed in a car accident, Lois and Peter consider whether to terminate the pregnancy.
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S9 E1 — 1. And Then There Were Fewer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0901.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the Griffins and other residents of Quahog are invited to visit the mansion of James Woods, the evening turns into a real murder mystery when guests end up dead and everyone scrambles to figure out who done it.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm gonna walk around, I think my vagina's asleep.”
  - “I was going to the bathroom, and I just couldn't stop looking at my penis because it's, you know, so fantastic.”
  - “So I'm not supposed to point out when you do something stupid? You hear that tone you're using? That's penis repellent right there.”
  - “We're short one vagina in this room.”
  - “Sean Young naked in the limo.”
- Violence & injury — 12 moment(s)
  - “Jesus, I knew he was crazy, but I didn't think he was a murderer.”
  - “You're a monster, James Woods! You think you can commit murder and get away with it? - Quagmire loved that girl.”
  - “Murder? What are you talking about? You're going away for a long time, pal.”
  - “But a murderer? I only just found God.”
  - “So James Woods murdered Stephanie, and then he murdered himself.”
  - “I grabbed the knife off the dinner table and stabbed him.”
  - “I stabbed her and she screamed.”
  - “Nobody touch the knife.”
  - “What do you mean, Joe? This gun was timed to fire at that chair where James Woods would have been sitting.”
  - “The gun was meant to kill Jimmy Woods, but Stephanie got in the way.”
  - “This is the same knife that killed James Woods.”
  - “He punched you in the throat, and that's why you sound like that? No, he punched me in the throat because I sound like this.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Don't you see? He didn't kill himself, and he didn't kill Stephanie.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “So it's relatively easy to buy one of those things, okay? You with me, America? You with me? So let's all shut the fuck up about the prestige of these things because it's just It's a sale, you know?”
  - “Dad, are we almost there? Shit.”
  - “Who sang "Hold On To The Night"? - Dick Marx.”
  - “If anybody's gonna take that bitch down, it's gonna be me.”
  - “Yay! Wait, who the hell lives all the way out here, huh? Lois? Oh, you're asleep.”
  - “What the hell's going on here? Everybody got the same invitation? Muriel, if you're not gonna eat your half of the cheeseburger I'll see if they have a freezer so I can keep it nice.”
  - “You bastard! You should've seen your face.”
  - “Damn it! The signal's gone.”
  - “Not you or anyone else in this damn town.”
  - “Let me go, you bastards.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Good heavens, Meg, you're sprouting up like a weed.”
  - “Come to my place for a glass of wine and fruit pies.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Um Oh, that's Dick Van Dyke.”

## S9 E2 — 2. Excellence in Broadcasting
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0902.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian learns that Rush Limbaugh is going to be at the Quahog Mall for a book-signing, he decides to go down there and give him a piece of his left-wing mind. But when Rush unexpectedly comes to Brian's rescue, Brian has a political change of heart.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “But if you drive something else, you're probably a guy who likes to pleasure other men sexually.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna go find some hardcover photography books of tasteful nude.”
  - “Now, this is a tasteful nude.”
  - “Your man bra.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'd sooner spend a night watching European porn.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “She was shot by an unknown assailant after she committed a series of murders.”
  - “Yeah, I keep Strom Thurmond's corpse in the front seat so I can use a carpool lane.”
  - “Well, well, what do we got here? Let's beat him up.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Stupid right-wing dick.”
  - “Global warming is not a myth, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Yeah, government sucks at doing stuff.”
  - “What the hell are you so hostile for? - Because you brainwashed our dog.”
  - “…Republicantown The place where the happiest smile Is Cheney's frown I'll bet you a buck You won't find a damn thing wrong 'Cause when you come down to it This is where we all belong - Who else lives here?”
  - “…when you come down to it This is where We all belong Well, I got to tell you, I'm not buying any of this crap.”
  - “What the hell's your problem? - My problem? Right now, my problem seems to be that I am talking to a Pelosi lover.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “In local news, there was a hit-and-run by a drunk driver today at Quahog Park.”
  - “Cocktail? Actually, not a bad film.”
  - “You know, as classically structured cinema Cocktail's one of the best of its era.”

## S9 E3 — 3. Welcome Back, Carter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0903.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter catches Lois' dad, Carter, having an affair, he is strong-armed into keeping a secret. But when Peter accidentally spills the beans, Lois' mom demands a divorce, and Peter is in charge of Carter's return to bachelorhood.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “And your sirens sound like gay guys having a threesome.”
  - “Ew! - No, no, no, I'm impotent.”
  - “Carter, you had sex with that woman.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those Good old-fasioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I haven't even had normal sexual relations in a long time.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's a donkey's vagina.”
- Affairs / cheating — 3 moment(s)
  - “Pewterschmidt, you're having an affair? Ew! - No, no, this is my sister.”
  - “Pewterschmidt, you're having an affair? Why don't you say it louder, idiot? I thought sailors only slept with little buoys.”
  - “Cheating on you was the worst mistake of my life.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “In one of the bloodiest battles of the war, Carter nearly lost his life in the battle with the infamous, walrus-backed Nanookwaffe.”
  - “Boy, you can take a punch.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Aah! You dumb bitch! My friend and I held our breath wondering which one of us he was talking to.”
  - “Excuse me? - What the hell is your problem, you jerk? - What? Does he belong to somebody else? Come on, girls, let's ditch this racist dick.”
  - “Pewterschmidt, dinner's ready! Damn it, he can't hear me.”
  - “Now, Peter, you can't Damn it.”
  - “What the hell is that? All right, you ready? - I don't wanna do this.”
  - “He's the only one that gives a crap.”
  - “You are - I thought you'd like Oh, well Take it up with my butt because he's the only one who gives a crap.”
  - “You stupid fat bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Wanna spend a mind-blowing afternoon? Get stoned and listen to this song.”
  - “Do you like sacramental wine and mouse Russell Crowe movies? Oh, boy, do I? Hey, can my sister come? No, she'd ruin it.”
  - “Now either try that beer or dump it down the sink.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Excuse me? - What the hell is your problem, you jerk? - What? Does he belong to somebody else? Come on, girls, let's ditch this racist dick.”

## S9 E4 — 4. Halloween on Spooner Street
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0904.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and Joe team up to execute a series of painful and humiliating Halloween pranks on unsuspecting family, friends and neighbors. While Brian shows Stewie the ropes of trick-or-treating, Meg sets out to attend her first high school Halloween party with high hopes for the evening.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 9 moment(s)
  - “Don't you get it? If we wear our masks and we don't take them off for the whole party, the boys won't know who we are, and we'II have a better chance of hooking up.”
  - “Good idea! -We are so gonna hook up! -I think we Iook hot.”
  - “Oh, my God, you're gonna hook up.”
  - “That was for making me have sex with Joe, you sons of bitches.”
  - “You guys actually had sex? Yeah, I kind of went rogue with that one.”
  - “I hooked up with a chick tonight, and I am pretty darn proud of myself.”
  - “I hooked up with a guy tonight, a high school guy, and I think maybe he'II call tomorrow.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Do you think we'II get to make out? These things always end up in make-out sessions.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What is that? It's True Blood.”
  - “I can feel my grandfather's Japanese blood coursing through my veins.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “But you did! Happy Halloween, fuck face.”
  - “I'm Dick Pump, and I'd appreciate it if you hooligans didn't get your eggs all over my parcel.”
  - “I keep getting your mail, Dick.”
  - “What happened? Who did this to you? Did you do this? You son of a bitch! Okay, see you Iater, Mom.”
  - “" Who wants to check my boobs for Iumps, bitches? I'II be back Iate.”
  - “I don't want to! Peter, what's with all the eggs? Well, every Halloween, me, Joe and Quagmire do this thing where one of us is it, and then the other two of us nail the crap out of him with awesome pranks.”
  - “Well, who's it this year? Damn it.”
  - “Where are you going? To hell with him.”
  - “AII right, you undead bastards, time to send you back to hell!”
  - “Hey, get back here! Hey, that's my candy! Damn you, that's my candy! How could this day get any worse? Brian! Brian, help me! Brian! -Hey, there you are.”
  - “Well, you know, Peter, it's all in good fun, right? You know, my grandfather used to have a saying Holy crap, you speak Ebonics? No, no, Peter, it's Japanese.”
  - “Hey, when the hell do I get into trouble? Well, didn't you get Iost in the grocery store Iast week? -Are you okay? -No! I came in with my wife and now I can't find her! I'm sure she's here somewhere.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, when? And how? Hey, Joe, what are you doing? I thought we were gonna go to The CIam and get wasted.”
  - “AII you do is drive around, confiscate beer from teenagers and occasionally handcuff a drunk woman in a sexy costume.”
  - “How about we ride around with you and steal beer from teenagers? I don't know, you guys.”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, come on, Mom, don't I Iook Iike him? Well, yes, but, Chris, you can't just walk around in blackface.”
  - “It's racist.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “The whore gets her stubby fingers -He puts cigars in his mouth -in my wallet! Larceny! -and he becomes a different person! No freakin' way.”

## S9 E5 — 5. Baby, You Knock Me Out
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0905.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter receives tickets to a boxing match as a birthday gift, he volunteers Lois to compete. To everyone's surprise, Lois dominates in the ring, and Peter decides to become her fight promoter. Her frustration with Peter turns into motivation in the ring as the housewife turns champion.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Any ofyou lovely ladies like to try your hand in the ring? Hey, Lois, what do you think? You want to fight that Iady's boobs? -What? No.”
  - “I told you, I don't want to be a boxer! Who the hell do you think you are? There you go! Use that anger! Hey, remember when I said I think it's hot when you wear a sports bra and gym shorts underneath your dress?”
  - “Peter, she milked your boobs, and there were a Iot of people I knew there.”
  - “…grinder on my grinder! And in this corner, weighing in at 130 pounds, it's the Ovarian Barbarian and the Breast of All Time, Iet's put our hands together for Quahog's own Lois Griffin!”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “No hitting below the belt, no rabbit punches, no name calling, no making trouble for unconventional couples who want to adopt babies, 'cause you know what? They ain't getting the good babies, anyways.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “I'm just out here for fun Yeah, punch each other, you whores! Okay, you Iittle bitch, that's it! You want to fuck with me? Let's go! No matter what you do for the rest of your Iife, you'II always be garbage.”
  - “Louder! -Moo! -Louder! -Moo! -Louder! Moo! AII right, that's it! You want a fight? You got one! Now, you get your hands off my man before I break them off! Fuck, it's my parents!”
  - “Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Mmmbop Oh, yeah Mmmbop, ba duba dop Mmmbop Oh, shit.”
  - “Son of a bitch! Damn it, Peter.”
  - “You knew 'cause of my globe, you dick.”
  - “Y eah! Peter, would you get in the damn bed? I'm gonna have the best birthday party ever.”
  - “Hey, buddy! Over here! I see a woman's hand and forearm at table eight! Damn it, Peter!”
  - “Am I that much of a bastard? Sometimes, yes.”
  - “What the hell kind of talk is that? Now, I'm gonna win this thing.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…are you gonna do about it? You gonna fight me? Look, I already said Get down on your hands and knees, fatty!”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm just out here for fun Yeah, punch each other, you whores! Okay, you Iittle bitch, that's it! You want to fuck with me? Let's go! No matter what you do for the rest of your Iife, you'II always be garbage.”

## S9 E6 — 6. Brian Writes a Bestseller
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0906.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Feeling discouraged with the progress of his writing career, Brian decides to throw in the towel until Stewie becomes his manager and one of his books hits the bestseller list. But when the fame goes to his head, Brian gets a wake-up call from Bill Maher (appearing in a live-action scene as himself).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've injected him with the Viagra.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “What was it, Batman Has a Son? No, no, you fucking idiot.”
  - “Hey, fuck you, man.”
  - “Now, what does that tell you? Tells me Americans will get all Christ-y about any sort of stupid shit.”
  - “I'm just I'm just Look, what I was saying Look, just tell me what you want me to say! Bill, he's urinating! -Oh, shit! -That's it! -Look, Bill, can I just -Outside.”
  - “This is why nobody bought my damn book.”
  - “I tell you, I could crap one of those things out in a night.”
  - “I'm gonna tell Mom you said "crap.”
  - “It's even better than the one yesterday about the guys who Wait, I mean, the woman with the What was it? Was she a shape-shifter? Damn it, I just had it.”
  - “I swear, Rupert, Brian has become a monster! That trip was sheer hell.”
  - “Stewie, I got a flea thing going on in here! Where the hell's my Frontline?”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stewie, that's racist.”

## S9 E7 — 7. Road to the North Pole
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0907.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie's favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is making an appearance at the mall, he begs Brian to take him so that he can tell Santa in person what he wants for Christmas. Brian begrudgingly takes Stewie to the mall, only to get the brush-off from Santa. As a result, Stewie and Brian travel to the North Pole to find Santa and teach him a lesson in holiday cheer.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Let's get those reindeer hooked up and get out of here.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Anyway, Seth came out of my penis, and now he made this.”
  - “Damn right, it's here! Now, while you think about the fact that you're never going to enjoy a nocturnal breast-feeding from Lois, I shall open the gate.”
  - “You know, those aren't socks and underwear donated by the fire department to some battered women's shelter.”
  - “Who is Jennifer-Pizza-Hut-big-boobs-bad-face? Okay, Iook why don't you go back to bed, all right? Who are you? Where's Dan? -Oh, my God! -Oh, crap! -Quick, Stewie! Get the bat! -Help! Help! Mommy! It's okay.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “What is this? This is a weird gun.”
  - “Oh, it's a flare gun.”
  - “Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a bloodlust for elfflesh.”
  - “Let me just clean his father's blood and hair off it.”
  - “AII right, that's the Iast of the blood.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “Could be three hours, could be three years, I don't fucking know.”
  - “…Never mind the reason Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball Doesn't this seem like too much stuff? Suck my dick, it's not enough!”
  - “That son of a bitch.”
  - “I'm gonna see the workshop, pet a few reindeer, take a few pictures of me and Santa, and then I'm gonna blow his goddamn brains out, hopefully with his bitch wife watching.”
  - “You're about to give birth into cow crap.”
  - “When that thing comes out, just wipe the crap off of him as fast as you can and I don't know, man.”
  - “Damn it! We're gonna be here forever.”
  - “What the hell? Why isn't it moving? I don't know.”
  - “Wait a minute, why the hell do you want to kill Santa? Because that fat bastard blew me off at the mall, and he shall not go unpunished.”
  - “Is this the trigger? Oh, my God, Stewie, you all right? What the hell happened? Just some stupid stuff went down.”
  - “You do what you want, Brian, but I am going to the North Pole and I'm gonna kill that bastard! Stewie, you're putting me in a hell of a position here, but I have no choice.”
  - “Damn it, it won't turn over.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I just came from AA, eh? -Huh? -Stewie, I think he's just a drunk.”
  - “Well, drunk or not, can you help us? I can if you want to join AA, eh? No, I'm already a member of A-A-A.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “And I want a pet animal that's half-chinchilla and half-mink, 'cause it'd be really soft, and I could call it chink, and that's okay.”

## S9 E8 — 8. New Kidney in Town
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0908.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After years of drinking with the guys, Peter's love of the sauce has finally caught up with him and he needs a kidney transplant. Brian offers him one of his, but will a canine kidney be compatible? Meanwhile, Meg and Chris collaborate on a poem to celebrate a very important visitor.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Let's get you hooked up.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Would you rather have dinner and then sex with Megan Fox's body with Leonard Nimoy's head on it or reroof an entire condo complex by yourself? -Oh, boy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Your breasts may be small and your glasses may be thick, but hope doesn't hold up a mirror.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I made blood out me Iady parts! Good for you.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Whoa, paramedics, come on down! Mom, oh, my God, guess what! Oh, God! You scared the shit out of me.”
  - “Red Bull? What the hell is Red Bull? You never heard of Red Bull? It's an energy drink.”
  - “Hey, hey, hey, hey! What's up, party people? What the hell are these things, curtains or something? Boring! -Holy smoke, it's crowded in here.”
  - “I am so sick of this crap mucking up my Iife.”
  - “Stewie, what the hell? Are you out of your mind? I most certainly am not! I know what you're planning to do, and I won't allow it! You're not going to kill yourself for that fat bastard!”

## S9 E9 — 9. And I'm Joyce Kinney
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0909.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Lois becomes friends with Joyce Kinney, the new local news anchor, and Joyce convinces Lois to let her do a story on her as the model American housewife. The television story makes Lois look terrible, and Joyce is unapologetic, leaving Lois no choice but to right a wrong.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “And that's why whenever I have sex without protection, I call it, "Taking a John Chancellor.”
  - “The very word conjures up images ofred-light districts, unprotected sex, and of course, the turn-of-the-century pornograph machine.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Now, kids, you all know that your mommy once gave special on-camera penis kisses for money.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 7 moment(s)
  - “AII right, well, when I was in college, I was in an adult film.”
  - “Oh, my God, you did a porno? PIease, please, please do not say a word to anybody.”
  - “Whoa, ho, ho! Sweet Mary! But it seems pornography has finally found its way to our neighborhood.”
  - “Tom? I can't believe this! Lois, you were in a porno? She totally betrayed me! I thought girlfriends were supposed to support each other.”
  - “One day I was cleaning a bird cage, and a porn producer came in, and, well, the rest you know.”
  - “Am I a porn baby? Oh, I'm sure not.”
  - “And who was she? A prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “The creature is wanted for a murder he didn 't commit.”
  - “And after what I went through with Diane Simmons, well, Iet me just say it's nice to be standing here with no one trying to murder me.”
  - “And Julie Andrews pleaded not guilty, saying that she brought the gun to the nightclub for protection.”
  - “I mean, he's still gay, but now it's no fun to joke about it, because he He beat us to the punch.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Then an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “My God! That Iittle pole-smoker's a fucking genius! and so did the Corinthians finally write back to Saint Paul, saying, "Dude, enough with the Ietters.”
  - FEMALE SINGER: “Channel Five We're there for you When times are tough We'll help you through With news and sports and weather We'll always be together We're with you through it all Channel Five Holy shit, that just turned out awful.”
  - “I know I'm a man of God, but that shit is hot! Oh, Iook at that.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I feel Iike I'm horking all your cocaine.”
  - “Hey, you, go easy on the communion wine today.”
  - “Don't want another one of your drunken mishaps.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Your mom's in a porno! I saw her boobs! -Shut up! -Hey, Griffin, your mom's a whore! Come on, guys, knock it off! Yeah, Griffin, your mom's gross and nasty! -Hey! -Not cool! That's a dude's mom! Well, she's also my mom.”
  - “Your mom's a whore! -Yeah! Suck it! -You're a whore-daughter! -Yeah, Griffin gets it! Boy, I'm really Iooking forward to this.”

## S9 E10 — Friends of Peter G
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0910.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After a public disturbance, Peter and Brian are forced to attend a 12-step meeting to help kick their drinking problems. Unable to recognize his issue, Peter gets a visit from Death, who gives him a glimpse of what life would be like with and without "Mr. Booze" in his bloodstream.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! I wouldn't have sex with Angela! -She's disgusting! - Not when you're drunk, she's not.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I'd get in fights and have crazy sex with hookers all night.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “One morning, I woke up naked with three Persians high-fiving each other on the way out of my bedroom.”
  - “I said to my wife just the other night, "Enough with the boob tube.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Who? Fuck! You guys got any questions for people who are not Hollywood insiders? Jesus! Fuck! AII right, this is ridiculous.”
  - “What the fuck? Thank you, Walt.”
  - “Sockerby, before we begin, have you ever been convicted of a felony? Yes, but that bitch had it coming.”
  - “I can never figure out when the hell the studio Iogos end and the actual movie begins.”
  - “Get away from her! We got a report of a disturbance Oh! What the hell, Peter? Joe, thank God.”
  - “I don't give a crap.”
  - “You know what sucks, Brian? We don't got a problem with our drinking.”
  - “I sat here and Iistened to you bums the other day, and I got to tell you, I have never seen a duller bunch of pathetic bastards in my Iife.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 8 moment(s)
  - “One fateful night, I got behind the wheel of my brand-new sports car, blind drunk.”
  - “Before I found AA, my ex-boyfriend and I used to get drunk and party all night.”
  - “This one time, me and Joe and Quagmire made a bet to see who could drink the most beer and still drive.”
  - “And then this one time, I was so drunk, I gave someone a back adjustment.”
  - “I wants me that beer.”
  - “B-double-O-Z-E That sure spells booze You will wind up wearing tattered shoes Ifyou mess with Mr.”
  - “Booze Don 't mess with Mr.”
  - “I was gonna take it back on Amnesty Day, but on Amnesty Day, I had a sip of rosé wine, and I never made it out of the house.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is it? Hey, hey, fatty, wake up.”

## S9 E11 — German Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0911.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On the search to find a new hobby, Chris meets a puppeteer named Franz, an old friend of Herbert's. Despite Herbert's warnings, Chris and Franz remain friends until Franz's checkered past is suddenly revealed.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “You paid her to have sex.”
  - “No, I paid her to have sex and we're filming it.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “For example, everybody thinks that prostitution is illegal, but there are ways around it.”
  - “Both of you are under arrest for prostitution.”
  - “So, technically it's not prostitution, it's a porno.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Wait, are you Jamie Kennedy? Am I being skunked or puked or whatever, some shit? I'm telling you the truth.”
  - “You idiot! Well, Iearn my birthday, asshole! Twenty-five.”
  - “But frankly, I don't give a shit.”
  - “We don't even Iook the same! -AII right, when's my birthday? -Aw, crap.”
  - “What the hell? Oh, for God's sake, where's that white-noise machine? Help! Oh, my God, help! Somebody help me! Oh, man, the battery's dead.”
  - “Franz, grab my hand! Say good night, you Nazi bastard.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Remember, kids, she's not a whore if she's an actress.”

## S9 E12 — The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0912.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Bonnie goes out of town, Meg offers to check in on Joe, but she soon becomes a little too involved and starts freaking everyone out - especially Joe. Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he's losing his edge as the toughest baby on the block, so he hooks himself up to a machine that is supposed to make him more evil than ever before.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “And go have sex with Quagmire.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I just wanted to Iook sexy for Susie.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “If you hadn't told me I was going soft, I wouldn't have created Evil Stewie, he wouldn't have escaped and we wouldn't be trying to track down a murderer.”
  - “What the devil happened here? I've assembled that rifle a million times.”
  - “Well, I don't know if it's just the rifle.”
  - “Meg, I know you took my gun from the drawer, I know you planted it in Bonnie's Iuggage, and I know that you breast-fed Susie.”
  - “Hey, can you tell me what Lady Gaga is? Is that a band, or a soda, or a store, or one of those terms Iike "donkey punch"? No.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Look at your fucking face.”
  - “Oh, fuck, Ricardo's gonna kill me.”
  - “Shit, I should have said something.”
  - “I mean, when was the Iast time you tried to blow something up, or take over the world, or even used the phrase, "Damn you"? Hey, I got a Iot on my plate, man.”
  - “What the hell is going on in here? Well, Brian, I thought about what you said at the park, and I've decided you're right.”
  - “Oh, my God, is it 7:50? Damn it, I missed the bus.”
  - “What happened to your clothes? Hey, what are you doing? Ahhh! Brian, have you seen Whoa, what the hell happened to you? Easy, easy, man, easy.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Ma'am, is this your bag? I don't know how that cocaine got in there.”

## S9 E13 — Trading Places
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0913.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Chris and Meg think their parents have it easy, and Peter and Lois beg to differ, so in order to teach them a lesson, they all trade roles. Chris goes to work at the brewery while Meg runs the house. While things start off well, it's not long until the stress of running a household and being the sole breadwinner break down Chris and Meg.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Delicious! And after sex? Forget about it.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's Iike putting your penis to sleep in a feather bed.”
  - “Y es, she has small breasts, but she makes up for it by smoking.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Guess I shouldn't have had so many action figure guns for Iunch.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Oh, snap! Snap! Snap! Hey, guys? Give her a fucking chance, all right? Here it is, gang.”
  - “I just heard all of that, and I just wanna say this family is fucking disintegrating.”
  - “And in other news, they're bringing back Passions! Y es, they are! Holy crap! A dirt bike! That's awesome! Lois, I'm gonna win that thing.”
  - “Damn it! Ooh! Our first hand offthe dirt bike! I guess you're out, Mr.”
  - “What the hell? Who is this? -This is my dirt bike girlfriend.”
  - “Damn right I do, 'cause I make the money!”
  - “Hey, Mom, where the hell's dinner? I'm starving.”
  - “High school sucks.”
  - “Everything sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, smell that finger, Quahog! A drunk news report from Tom Tucker.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You got fired for racist drawings.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, fat ass, you Iike You Iike this bus bench? I It's okay.”

## S9 E14 — Tiegs for Two
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0914.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the local dry cleaner loses Peter's favorite white shirt, he goes ballistic. Meanwhile, Brian tries to score on a date with a new friend, Denise, but ends up striking out. Instead of calling it quits on love, he decides to enlist Quagmire's help, but things get nasty when they start to compete for the affections of each other's old flames, Cheryl Tiegs and Jillian .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Thanks for the sex Iast night.”
  - “Well, I think unicycles are sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, Iet's have dinner, huh? So, how did you guys get together? He showed up at my door and said he was a Federal Boob Inspector.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I always knew you were Iow, but you're nothing more than a back-stabbing, junkyard cur.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Okay, what the fuck? -I know, I know.”
  - “That parrot's still alive, you know? Those fucking things Iive forever.”
  - “I really Iike the finish on this Shiraz Son of a bitch! What is your problem? Damn! Which one's the Chinese one? That's probably it.”
  - “You're a son of a bitch.”
  - “…all Iook alike, do we? Well, Iook who's talking! What do you mean we can't go there anymore? Who gives a crap?”
  - “Oh, crap, he's in Iove again.”
  - “Now how many of you guys think a woman is Iooking for Prince Charming? Wrong! They're Iooking for bastards Iike me!”
  - “What the hell, man? My whole Iife's been dedicated to Cheryl Tiegs! -Yeah, I know.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You only have two white shirts? Well, I had a third one, but it got ruined at that wine tasting at Michael J.”
  - “See, he has this disease, and it makes him shake a Iot, and what with all the shaking, he spilled his wine all over my shirt, and my shirt was ruined.”
  - “…Did an ambulance go by or something? Hey, Brian Sweet! Morning drinking! Yeah! Party! Peter, I'm not getting drunk for fun.”
- Fat-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “Now go hit on that fat chick.”
  - “Hey, who was that fat chick sneaking out of here this morning? Oh, that was someone I met from class.”
  - “Hey, Cheryl, get your fat ass over here before I dump you.”

## S9 E15 — Brothers & Sisters
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0915.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Mayor West marries Lois' sister, Carol, they move into the Griffin's house to be one big "happy" family. To make room for everyone, Stewie is bumped out of his room and takes over Chris' room, but not everyone is annoyed by the change. Peter and Mayor West bond and become best friends.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Like deciding whether or not you're going to have time to masturbate.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “It's all about sex, sex, sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I must bless this coupling with my flaccid English penis.”
  - “You gonna sleep in here with us? Is this how you spend your free time, fat-ass? Lying half-naked on a bed in black socks at 1 1 :30 in the morning?”
  - “I hope you Iike weird boobs.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Look who the fuck's talking.”
  - “Son of a fuck! And then there was your third husband, Doggie Daddy, but you couldn't make it work 'cause he had that son from a previous marriage.”
  - “Carol, how the hell are you? Not too good.”
  - “Who the hell do you think you are? Stop it this instant! We're not gonna fit through there.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You are to gather grapes for wine and prepare victuals for my return.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great FIorida whore.”
  - “You know, I always thought I'd be a good FIorida whore.”

## S9 E16 — The Big Bang Theory
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0916.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie and Brian go back in time to stop Bertram from killing Leonardo da Vinci.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “…Bertram go back this far to get rid of you? Ah, you're forgetting I initially encountered Bertram as a sperm in one of the fat man's balls, so he couldn't get rid of the fat man or any recent ancestor on my…”
  - “You had sex? -No, I put my DNA inside her.”
  - “You had sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, you can't -I'm not gonna Iet you do this -You just touched my boob.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I hope you kill my bitch wife with it.”
  - “Hey, where the hell's my banana thing? It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Where he at? Where he at? Oh, my God.”
  - “Stewie, what the hell did your machine do? Just calm down, calm down, Brian.”
  - “Come on, Stewie, can you fix that damn thing or not? Well, it's not broken, Brian.”
  - “Y eah, that's why it sucks that we're alone here.”
  - “What? What's the joke? Oh, yes! What? What is it? You can't say that! But it got said! What? What? By who? AII right, fine, fine! I'II try it, you bastard! Now step onto the return pad.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, slut, get me out of this.”

## S9 E17 — Foreign Affairs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0917.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Bonnie and Lois take a trip to Paris, Bonnie crosses the line while in the City of Love. Meanwhile, Peter homeschools Chris and Meg using some unorthodox teaching methods.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “An old Con Ed bill I mean, a new testament of Jesus Christ! Everyone has to sleep with me! -What? -And no dancing! But recent years have also seen many important historical events.”
  - “You can't do this, Bonnie! Oh, is that right? Now you're telling me what I can and can't do? I invited you on this trip to hang out while I have sex with strangers, and this is how you repay me?”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “Why'd you even want to come here, then? Lois, I came here to have an affair.”
  - “An affair? With who? -Anyone.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Well, I'll be a son of a gun! All right, time to learn math from a black guy, I guess! Oh! This is such an amazing city! Like, I could see them having a special episode of The Biggest Loserhere.”
  - “Punch him! Punch him again! Punch him! Punch him now! Again! Now you're getting punched! Punch back! Don't let him hit you! Get out of the way! Punch him! You know what I'm going to tell you.”
  - “I got to punch him -You got to punch him more.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Sherman's March to the Sea! Yes! Finally someone gets it! Ahh! Fuck children!”
  - “" Really? I mean, like, why the wink? I mean, is there something that we're supposed to be in on? Is he not going there? Is he not amped? And who cares if he is, you know? Dick.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “And could you bring me a beer? Oh! I feel so elegant.”

## S9 E18 — It's a Trap!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/0918.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Return to the Griffins' version of that galaxy far, far away as their freakin' sweet saga continues with the final installment of the hilarious three-part "Star Wars" satire. Following 2005's "Family Guy: Blue Harvest" and last year's "Family Guy: Something, Something, Something Dark Side," the Griffins reprise their intergalactic roles in an outrageous retelling of "Star Wars, Episode VI: Return of the Jedi" .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Now, excuse me, I have to make out with my girlfriend.”
  - “I mean, did you see Sex Drive? Oh, of course you didn't.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Do not move! Or I will stab you with my very sharp spear.”
  - “"Death Stab"? Oh, for God's sake, Christie.”
  - “If anyone asks, I shot him.”
  - “Fuck you! You murdered me, you ass.”
  - “Luke, take this gun.”
- Swearing — 12 moment(s)
  - “That's what's so fucked up.”
  - “Honestly, Darth, I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.”
  - “Hey! It's me! Can I come in? - Shit.”
  - “No more of this Kurt shit.”
  - “Jeez, you don't have to be a dick about it.”
  - “Well, I certainly enjoyed him in Entourage, 'cause in that show, he was playing himself, an asshole.”
  - “Oh, my God, that was absolute hell! I just I don't understand why I mean, we're in a galaxy far, far away, and we still have to change in Atlanta.”
  - “A sister? Who is it? Who the hell you think it is?”
  - “Shut up! There's enough cutesy crap in this movie.”
  - “Damn cat! That hat looks ridiculous! Admiral, we've got enemy ships in sector 47.”
  - “And here's something that's gonna piss you off even more.”
  - “Bang, bang, boom, boom! Bang, bang, boom, boom? Damn, that thing's operational! Look at that! Blowing up rebel ships! Bet that gets you going.”

## S10 E1 — 1. Lottery Fever
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1001.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter blows his savings on lottery tickets and the family writes it off as one of his usual shenanigans until they end up millionaires. In true Griffin fashion, they can't handle the good fortune and struggle to stay grounded.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Who would you rather do? Susan Boyle or a sex doll that's been passed around a fraternity? Well, have they been cleaning the doll? Please, these guys are Betas-- they're total animals.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Yes! We won the lottery! I'm getting a penis butler.”
  - “Sir? All right, butle my penis.”
  - “Sorry doesn't show me nipples worth seeing! And as for you, Anna, you're dreadful and so is the program.”
  - “No! Anna Paquin boob does not count as real boob! That's like looking at a 12-year-old boy.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “What the hell, Peter?! You shot him in the eye! Keep singing, you.”
  - “The two kids who found it were forced to murder each other.”
  - “Hey, you want to watch a DVD of the murder while we do it? I already watched it eight times, so I know exactly which part I want to blam at.”
  - “(gasping): Haa Haa-haa Haa-haa-haa-haa-haa Haa (sneezes): Haa-chu! Hey, Peter, you wanted me to watch the entire first season of True Blood and come show you where there was boob?”
  - “Okay, guys, now you're gonna do a synchronized duet of "Makin' Whoopee" while I shoot you with this BB gun.”
  - “Peter, it's beautiful! Is it a blood diamond? Ah, the bloodiest.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Three days wasted looking through 200,000 lottery tickets.”
  - “'Cause what I want to do is stay here, get drunk and watch TV.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Action! (piano playing) Another bride She looks so gay Another June Oh, what a day Another sunny honeymoon Hip hip hoor (screams) Another seas (screams) Another…”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look at yourself, you filthy whore.”

## S10 E2 — 2. Seahorse Seashell Party (2)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1002.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When a storm hits in Quahog, to help pass the time and calm his nerves, Brian consumes some questionable substances and has trouble sobering up. Meanwhile, Meg goes off the deep end after the family takes one too many jabs at her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Peter? You come back here! I faked all my orgasms! Hey.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hide! The wheels on the bus go round and round Round and round Round and round The wheels on the bus go round and round All through the town Peanut! Peeper Wanna have (hissing) sex? Groggety! Slip me some tongue.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, you got through seeing Lady Gaga naked.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is this coming from my role model mother? The shoplifter, the drug addict, the porn star, the whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton go to town on her? Oh, so what? All those things are behind me now.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's like an Irish bar fight down there.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, you're a bitch.”
  - “You're a (bleep) bitch! Yes.”
  - “Scared the crap out of me.”
  - “Yeah, this sucks.”
  - “You're supposed to be on my side, and you're such a bastard to me.”
  - “How am I a bastard?! Oh, you want the full story? Meg, please.”
  - “Oh, and where the hell were you when she was laying into me? I was thinking about getting a fancy cane.”
  - “Have either of you guys been listening to me? Do you both just have your heads up your asses? Dad did! Look, he's got crap on his ears! That's unrelated.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, you think that's funny, fat ass? Well, I don't know if it's funny.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is this coming from my role model mother? The shoplifter, the drug addict, the porn star, the whore who let Gene Simmons and Bill Clinton go to town on her? Oh, so what? All those things are behind me now.”

## S10 E3 — 3. Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1003.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Quagmire lands in the hospital and his sister, Brenda, and her boyfriend, Jeff, rush to Quahog to nurse him back to health. As Glenn recovers he quickly realizes that Brenda is the one who needs help.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “(squish) Okay, okay, who would you rather do? Dame Judi Dench with 30 minutes of kissing first or Eddie Izzard in drag, but he has a working vagina? Would Eddie Izzard tell others about it? Eddie Izzard is very discreet.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “(knocking) PETER: Hey, Quagmire? You in there? (gasps) Holy crap! Oh, my God! He must have autoerotically asphyxiated himself! Yeah, while he was watching clown porn.”
  - “Oh yeah, baby! You make me so horny! (bicycle horn blowing) Come on, help me get him down! Peter, he's still alive! We got to get him to a hospital! All right, but let's just watch the end of this clown porn first.”
- Violence & injury — 9 moment(s)
  - “Quagmire, you're talking about murdering a guy.”
  - “It doesn't matter what he's done, it's still murder.”
  - “"If you tell anyone otherwise, "I will come back and not only hit you, but I will murder you.”
  - “All right, look, when he comes back, I'm just gonna do it, okay? I'm just gonna point my gun straight at his head before he even knows what's going on.”
  - “(shotgun racks) Kinda like this? You know, Quagmire, you are pathetic.”
  - “…is that it? Uh-uh! Not unless you want your friend's brains all over the place! Listen, Jeff, just put the gun down and we'll forget this whole thing, okay?”
  - “Is she still with him? Isn't he the one that beats her? Yeah, but she's gotten a lot better.”
  - “Corrects you? Brenda, he's not correcting you, he's beating you! Well, I-I-I can see why you'd think that 'cause of the punches and all, but it's just that Jeff's been so angry about immigrants.”
  - “They've been with me three days now, and all he does is beat her day and night.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Why do you always got to remind me I didn't finish high school? Well, listen, how about I make us all some dinner, huh? Come here! (clattering) You fat, ugly bitch!”
  - “I don't know what this cock-a-doodle-doo thing is, but it sounds gay and it sounds scatological.”
  - “We're watching Leno, you bitch! I'm so sorry! His soft, gentle humor connects effortlessly with my mainstream sensibilities! (slaps) (screams) Let's waste this dick.”
  - “My God, what the hell happened? He hung himself during autoerotic asphyxiation.”
  - “What the hell's going on here?! Listen here, you bully! For your information, Brenda just agreed to leave you! Like hell she did.”
  - “Pregnant?! Oh, congratulations! Have you thought of any names yet? Maybe maybe "Slappy"? Or-or "Bruisey"? Or "Keep-It-Down- In-There-sy"? Guys, what the hell am I gonna do? She can't marry that bastard.”
  - “We go over there and we do what's right; we kill the bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “(loud slap, Brenda screams) JEFF: What the hell?! Did you change the channel while I was going to get a beer?! Oh, yeah, I-I'm sorry, honey, I just wanted to see who was on Letterman.”
  - “Get your lazy ass up and get my neighbors some beers! Actually, we don't have time, Jeff.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Shut up and limp! We're in a handicapped spot, you slut! Well, Miss Quagmire, your brother Glenn is lucky to be alive.”

## S10 E4 — 4. Stewie Goes for a Drive
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1004.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Ryan Reynolds pays a visit to Quahog and becomes obsessed with Peter Griffin. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to be a big boy and steals the family car for a joy ride but lands in a bit of trouble.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Why would any man dress well, groom himself and lift weights just to sleep with other men? He's not gay.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “At least I'm not getting stabbed by some random guy on the street.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Not like when I met that bitch Shelley Duvall.”
  - “What the hell?! Stewie, get out here! Look at this.”
  - “W- What the hell happened to my car?! Well, I don't know, man, but the good news is, it-it doesn't look all that bad, Brian.”
  - “That guy talks more crap about me.”
  - “Oh, my God, Rupert! We've got to get out of here! Aah! Damn it! Oh, no, no.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You got booze in here? Is it me, or did she just make that weird? Please.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Doing it with the lights on now, whore? Don't mind looking at his body? I love you so much, though.”
  - “I want to thank you Dirty whores, all of you.”

## S10 E5 — 5. Back to the Pilot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1005.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian and Stewie travel back in time to the pilot episode of FAMILY GUY to change history, and then to change history again.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Horton Hears a Suicide.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.”
  - “What the hell? I-I'm at a loss.”
  - “What is this? Where the hell are we? The air is electric here at Super Bowl 33 tonight.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh? Remember when you got drunk off the communion wine at church? Ah! Ew! Gross! Look at that.”
  - “Hey, who wants to play "Drink the Beer"? Right here.”
  - “You win! - All right! - What do I win? - Another beer! Okay, take a last look, 'cause we're out of here.”

## S10 E6 — 6. Thanksgiving
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1006.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “How could you do that?! Coward! Traitor! If you think that I'm gonna masturbate after this tonight, you're right.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “After all, his dad did have a sex-change operation.”
  - “Hey, when you get sexually abused while you're in a coma, do you know it's happening and just can't do anything about it? Or do u not even know what's going on? I also am curious about that.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I guess that was just his dirty hobo penis, huh?”
  - “Now you're saying only one of them was? But I just want you guys to know I barely even stared at that penis for an hour.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm I'm drunk, and I'm gonna throw the football too hard at my kids.”
  - “Maybe it's time to ease off, huh? What are you talking about, Lois? Dads getting drunk on Thanksgiving is a holiday tradition.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Nice try, skank.”

## S10 E7 — 7. Amish Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1007.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On the return from an adventurous day at an amusement park, the Griffins' car breaks down in Amish country and they are stranded with no way out. When Meg falls for an Amish boy, the Griffins then find themselves in a crusade against the conservative locals.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Uh, preferably one where I have to sleep with my bag taped to my body.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Ha-ha, bitch.”
  - “What the hell?! Looks like it's the radiator.”
  - “Now on another note, I notice you don't have a damn lick of music in this town.”
  - “What the hell is that? Holy crap! Who did this? It must have been my father.”
  - “We are, but Peter must have really pissed off my dad.”
  - “You bastard.”
  - “Apples fire! Ah! Damn it! Ow! God! Quilters advance! Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Ooh! Oh! I bet this hurts so much! Ow! Damn it! I'm bleeding! Uhp, now it's an AIDS quilt.”
  - “Suck on this, you furry little weirdoes! Enough of this crap.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Introducing rock 'n' roll! Whoo! I'm on a highway to hell! Highway to hell! I'm on the high You are banished from our community at once! And take your whore daughter with you! How did it go, Dad? Very well, Meg.”

## S10 E8 — 8. Cool Hand Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1008.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter and the guys take a stand against their wives and flee to the Deep South on a road trip. On the way there, the men earn a one-way ticket to jail. But when they decide to make a run for it, Joe's quick planning and Peter's seductive ways help them escape. Meanwhile, Lois spends some quality time with the girls and they engage in childish antics.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “An exciting day for me is when I watch wheelchair porn.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “That's me! Oh, no, I have a knife! Oh, what are we gonna do?! They're gonna keep us locked up here forever! We're not staying in here forever.”
  - “(gun chambers cocking) Where do y'all think you're going? You boys are fugitives of my county, and I'm gonna take you back.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I tried to kill myself by swallowing a nail clipper, but I passed it.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “If he really starts freaking out, put your pinkie in his butt! - Aah! (laughter, Brian groaning) Calm down! Calm down! (grunting) (laughter) Now Stewie! All right, I guess this is the night bitches die.”
  - “Peter, where the hell are you? You told me you were gonna clean out those boxes in the basement and put them in the attic.”
  - “What the hell happened to us? We used to be able to do whatever the hell we wanted.”
  - “Aw, crap! Hang on, hang on, you guys.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “We will drive after a couple of beers and not make a big federal case about it.”
  - “What do we got in this thing? Oh, come on! You planted that there! We had drugs? Oh, my God, why am I driving drunk when I could've been driving high? You boys are in a lot of trouble.”

## S10 E9 — 9. Grumpy Old Man
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1009.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: It's winter in Quahog, and Lois' parents, Carter and Babs, take Stewie for a trip. But when Carter falls asleep at the wheel, the family decides it might be time for him to retire. Peter and Lois take the clan to Florida to check out some fine retirement communities, but Carter refuses to go down without a fight.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I can't even get any sleep with him here.”
  - “Why don't you just tell him he can sleep with my wife, too?!”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I just moved into the neighborhood, and I'm required by law to inform you that I am a sex offender.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “The penis one.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “Don't you mean phone sex? No, Joe.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “Oh, she sounds like a bitch.”
  - “Yeah, what a bitch.”
  - “Bitchazoid, right, guys? Yeah.”
  - “Bingo, bitches! Bingo.”
  - “I'm standing here surrounded by snowdrifts, stalled cars, and the one douchebag who wears a tank top every time there's a blizzard.”
  - “You bastard! I was having fun playing in the snow, and now you've ruined it, like a pizza place ruins a salad.”
  - “What the hell are you talking about?! We're about to What happened? Where are my knitting needles? Goodness, dear, I'm so sorry.”
  - “Oh, damn it.”
  - “All right, I just got to go take a misty, stop-and-go piss in your bathroom, then we'll be good to go.”
  - “Lois, how the hell much longer is your dad gonna be hanging around here? - He's starting to drive me crazy.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Aw, that sounds like the sad little fat girl who lives in all of us and is struggling to get out.”

## S10 E10 — Quagmire & Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1010.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Meg finally turns 18, Quagmire seizes the opportunity to pursue his next romantic conquest. As the new couple's relationship blossoms, Peter stops at nothing to come in between his innocent - well, somewhat innocent - daughter and his creepy friend.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Well, she may not plan on sleeping with him, but you don't know how smooth Quagmire is, Lois.”
  - “Did you have sex with my daughter? What? Come on, Peter.”
  - “Did you have sex with my daughter?! Peter, trust me, it's not happening.”
  - “Oh, is that right? Oh, don't worry, Peter, he's not going to sleep with her.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “He calls it his sex cabin.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, and I'll send a text to "Possible Nipple Ring" saying you're off the market.”
  - “You're "Possible Nipple Ring"? All right, well, I better send a text to "Backbush.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Look, everyone knows if you go away with a guy for the weekend and don't have sex with him, you're a huge bitch.”
  - “Quagmire, let me in, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Mom, if it's a surprise party, where is everybody? Chris, what the hell?! I thought you were gonna pay the kids from school to show up! I gave you $300! Why do you think Dad's here? Hey, Meg, happy birthday.”
  - “What?! Like hell you are! Don't worry, Dad! I'll take care of him! Stay away from my sis! Okay, you two have fun on your date.”
  - “Hey, don't give me that crap.”
  - “So, I don't care how old you are, you're going to do what I say and get in the damn car! Yes, Daddy.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Pewterschmidt, we pumped your daughter's stomach and we found vodka, Rohypnol, a fair amount of DNA that is not her own and a class ring.”
  - “I'm so going to brush my teeth with tequila.”
  - “Mexico! Mexico! Hey, is this beach topless? No, but my margarita's bottomless.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Look at Quagmire hitting on that skank.”
  - “Peter, that skank is your daughter.”

## S10 E11 — The Blind Side
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1011.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs. Meanwhile, the Griffin family installs a new staircase in their home when Peter keeps falling on the old one and decides to live upstairs full-time.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Orgasm eyes, orgasm eyes.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm dancing from my vagina.”
  - “That is the the smell of backed up, unreleased genital essence.”
  - “So if I do this, I can talk about what a sweet rack she has? Yes, but try not to make a boob-honking gesture with your other hand while you're saying it.”
  - “I'm a nude vampire.”
  - “I'm a nude werewolf.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “He got a hooker.”
  - “Ha! No, no, but she is a prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “We now return to True Blood.”
  - “There's a gun in my nightstand.”
  - “I still can't believe you beat up that guy who tried to mug us.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Anthony, Alicia Sleaze or Quahag? How about Harlot O'Scara? Aw, you dick, that's genius.”
  - “Lois, what the hell?!”
  - “Where's the shampoo?! What the hell? Hey, guys, all the action's over here! Quagmire, what is all this? Peter's new coworker gave me an idea.”
  - “Y-You do? Yeah, they're just slobbery, annoying, needy little bastards.”
  - “Was one of the dwarves named Snappy? Kind of well dressed? Or am I-I just making that up? Oh, my God, Dad! Dad, are you okay?! Damn it, I hate these new stairs! Yeah, I'm fine.”
  - “Coming! Damn it! Oh, my God, Peter.”
  - “This is stressing the crap out of me.”

## S10 E12 — Livin' on a Prayer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1012.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Stewie's new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a critical, but treatable, disease. However, the boy's parents refuse treatment due to their religious beliefs, leaving Lois no choice but to take drastic measures to seek treatment for the boy herself. Meanwhile, Peter has a religious experience of his own.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Come up and have sex with me some time.”
  - “"Sexy Peter distracting the guards"? Check.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “We now return to One-Hour Crime Show Where the Murderer is the Most Famous Person in the Credits.”
  - “Stabbed 17 times in the chest; I'd say the murderer knew the victim intimately.”
  - “"Peter in an open airplane door slapping other Peters on the back as they parachute out"?”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Look, why are you being such a dick about this? I'm just trying to join in.”
  - “Ah, damn it, I knew that! Ah, well, me in the with a big, black.”
  - “What? What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about us going in there and taking that kid and getting him some help.”
  - “This underachieving, crime-ridden school is now fawn beige, thanks to guilty white people with no weekend plans! Yay! Peter, what the hell?”
  - “Damn it, put him back and go get Scotty, the baby! Okay, so I'll go get the baby, and while I'm doing that, maybe you do something about that snatchy tone.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, Lois, this couch would be perfect for one of your red wine pass-outs.”

## S10 E13 — Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1013.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter decides to be a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward stardom. Meanwhile, Chris dates a girl who looks disturbingly like a member of the Griffin household.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “My body was immediately taken to a Hollywood hospital, where I was hooked up to a 17-year-old ingenue.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, you've brought me so much joy over the years as that lovable murderer of teenagers, and I want to return the favor.”
  - “Last time we saw you, Diane Simmons had just stabbed you in the back with a knife.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna go upstairs and alternate between hopeful excitement and suicidal pessimism! Got to get the energy up.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch, you made me feel again.”
  - “Wilbur was Tom Tucker's stage name? Who the hell is George P.”
  - “What the hell is going on here? Is it is itAm I having a stroke? Wait, Peter! Don't go! So, you changed your mind, huh, buddy? We going to Hollywood? You betcha.”
  - “But you put me and my family through a lot of crap over the years.”

## S10 E14 — Be Careful What You Fish For
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1014.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor to a helpful dolphin. Soon the dolphin moves to Quahog, outstays his welcome at Peter's and moves into Cleveland's house across the street. Peter tries to reunite the dolphin with his ex-wife in hopes that he'll return to the ocean, but his plan backfires and the whole dolphin family moves into Cleveland's.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And, again, I'm gonna ask one more question, and don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis? Yes.”
  - “I finally have a date with Miss Emily tomorrow, and I'm not gonna let you or anybody else get in my way until I have seen every inch of her naked.”
  - “Hey, how come you ain't got boobs? You like a runner or something? Who's this, then? He's just a friend, trying to help.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Plus, the sooner we get him out of here, the sooner I can get back to my cocaine and dollhouses.”
  - “Eh-eh! What the hell, man?! Drink beer much? I just learned that "much" thing from the telly.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Things ain't so good in America right now, which is why we're all so fat.”

## S10 E15 — Burning Down the Bayit
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1015.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. However, things take a turn for the worse when the trio decides to burn it down to collect insurance money.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Didn't you bring it outside? Holy crap! Quagmire, you all right? No, I'm not all right! My head's gushing blood, you idiot! Take your hand away.”
  - “…sweatshirt with no writing on it? No, I think they're over there between the rain ponchos and the cap guns and just below the balsa wood gliders and the net-bag of flip-flops and a beach pail.”
- Swearing — 11 moment(s)
  - “I don't buy your product with broken quarters; don't stick me with broken pieces of cracker, you miserable dicks! Regards, Mort Goldman again.”
  - “This isn't Carvel, you lying bitch.”
  - “" Those sons of bitches made it about money.”
  - “If I could turn back time If I could find a way Yeah! We all want to turn back time! This is the biggest sitting ovation I've ever seen! Damn it, where the hell did I put that?”
  - “I can't remember what the hell I did with it.”
  - “How are we gonna find gauze and bandages in the middle of all this crap? Uh, I think he keeps them next to the thousand-piece puzzle of a lobster trap.”
  - “Guys, what the hell's going on back there? Remember, each pill has to go into the correct bottle.”
  - “Aw, they're bastards.”
  - “Well, then I say, screw the bastards! Let's burn the place down! What?! Peter, we're talking about a major crime here.”
  - “You're damn right it was.”
  - “Oh, my God, he's so pissed, he's calling.”

## S10 E16 — Killer Queen
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1016.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweight kids. Meanwhile, Stewie is traumatized by the frightening cover of a Queen album.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you get nervous, just picture the audience naked and slide those hot dogs down your throat.”
- Violence & injury — 12 moment(s)
  - “But we do know one thing, this kid was murdered.”
  - “Murdered?! Who in the world would want to kill a camper? Don't look at me.”
  - “Freeze, psycho! Oh, Peter, thank God! Patrick Pewterschmidt, you're under arrest for the murder of, uh I didn't get the kid's name.”
  - “Oh, the murderer won't leave the camp.”
  - “Somebody strangled this fat kid.”
  - “He was strangled? Yeah.”
  - “You do? Who? Well, there's only one person I know who likes to strangle fat guys: Patrick Pewterschmidt.”
  - “People call him "The Fat Guy Strangler.”
  - “" He's always had a thing for strangling fat guys.”
  - “Uncle Patrick, why do you strangle fat people? It's probably a weird fetish thing.”
  - “…Everybody grab a broom! We are straightening this place up! All right, campers, until the Fat Guy Strangler is caught, everyone has to stay inside their cabins.”
  - “I mean, who better to get inside the mind of someone who's strangling fat people than someone who's done it himself? Yeah, give him a chance, Joe.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! Good morning.”
  - “Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have named that star for Mort.”
  - “Aah! Oh, what's the matter? What the hell is that?! A killer robot monster?! No, it's News of the World.”
  - “Damn it, don't you see what you did to him? I told you not to take him to that eating competition, and you deliberately defied me! All right, what's this really about? Peter, Chris is already overweight.”
  - “Oh, my God! Stewie, no! What the hell's wrong with you?! It's that robot! He killed Queen, and now he's going to kill me! He didn't kill Queen.”
  - “Holy crap! Well, we clearly don't have all the evidence yet, but that's never stopped us before, right? Oh, there's no other cops here.”
- Fat-shaming — 4 moment(s)
  - “Everyone's gonna make fun of me! Oh, come on, who's gonna make fun of you? Hey, fatty, I hear you're going to fat camp.”
  - “Where's your bag, fatty? You're welcome to search my "beef case.”
  - “Hey, fat ass, give me your wallet! I could give you my wallet, but what I think you really want is love.”
  - “Now you must die! Hey, fat ass! I got news for you.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “In fact, I once caught him trying to pick up a quack whore.”

## S10 E17 — Forget-Me-Not
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1017.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When a seemingly innocent guy's night out takes a sudden turn, Peter, Joe, Brian and Quagmire wake up in a hospital and discover that their memories have been erased and Quahog has been deserted.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I got the little freak's bra.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Do you know what that means? I'm a stripper! Well, it's good we found out who we all are, but we still haven't found out what the hell happened to everybody else.”
  - “Please! I didn't do anything! When you've been a stripper as long as I have, you know when you've met a bad egg.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “But listen, if we're gonna kill him, we gotta find some guns.”
  - “Well, when I find that person, I'm gonna strangle him.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, Peter isn't here, is he?! Because you were supposed to be watching him, but you were smoking marijuana and he drowned! What? No, he's at a PTA meeting.”

## S10 E18 — You Can't Do That on Television, Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1018.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter's favorite children's television show gets cancelled, he takes matters into his own hands by creating and starring in his own show for kids. Meanwhile, Meg begins an internship at the hospital with Dr. Hartman.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “How the hell did you even get a TV show, Peter? I just answered an ad off Craigslist, and after several hours of sexual torture, I had a show.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “All right, Stewie, since Lois says I got to keep an eye on you, we might as well have some father-son time, so I'm gonna measure your penis and then I'm gonna measure my penis, and we're gonna see whose is bigger.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meg, I'm afraid my brother just tried to kill himself in prison.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “They say my name on TV all the time; calm down, bitch.”
  - “I'm asking you who's on first? Oh, my God! Peter! Cut the camera! Cut it! Roll a "Petey Learn-A-Long Song"! Kentucky is a state Kentucky is a state All the people there are dicks Kentucky is a state.”
  - “Peter, what the hell are you doing? Being a good dad like you asked.”
  - “Hey, hey, hey, what the hell is all the commotion in here? We're not doing anything.”

## S10 E19 — Mr. and Mrs. Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1019.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie becomes smitten when he meets a girl who happens to be the female version of himself. Meanwhile, Peter and Quagmire take their friendship to a new level.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Lois, if God wanted me to not sleep with my wife, he would have made me John Travolta.”
  - “…as women, and when you don't have that, it-it's I well, what I'm getting at is I would like for you to sleep with me in my bed, and this, this is not about sex; it's about sleep.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “And when the drugs stopped numbing the pain, the sex became even more violent.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Kind of weird those guys want to fight you naked, huh? AXE Body Spray.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I kill people and burp and watch so much porn.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Did did you kill her? Well, I held the knife and her hair.”
  - “Oh, bloody hell.”
  - “Slo-o-w mo-o-o-tion di-i-ving at yo-o-u! Anti-gravity gun! This is beyond my technology.”
  - AXE Body Spray: “Spray it on after gym class instead of getting beat up in the shower.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, do you have one of those white wine zombie moms? No, she died.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “What the hell were you doing talking to him? You know who I think is an ugly slut? Miss Sharon.”

## S10 E20 — Leggo My Meg-O
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1020.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Meg travels abroad to Europe, her exciting adventure comes to a halt when she gets kidnapped. Brian and Stewie embark on an action-packed mission to find her before it's too late.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Oh, my God! My baby! Yeah, there's a pretty grisly sex trade over there.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Leave fart in closed car like a dick.”
  - “Hey! Son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell are you doing?! We haven't eaten since the plane.”
  - “I hope you burn in hell along with the guy who came up with stuffing a turkey.”
  - “What? Aw, damn it.”
  - “Uh-oh! Earthquake! Hey, come on! Careful! Damn it.”
  - “See? Aw, crap, they're taking her onto that yacht.”
  - “That's for shooting one of our guys! We got you! In your face! Our boat! Our boat! This boat! Let me go, you fat bastard! I will never be your sex slave! You misunderstand.”

## S10 E21 — Tea Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1021.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Quahog City Hall threatens to shut down Peter's illegally-run business, Peter joins the Tea Party and successfully campaigns to shut down the government. As a result of all the chaos in Quahog, Peter's father-in-law, Carter, reaps the benefits.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “One two three! Yeah! Oh Hey, you ever accidentally masturbate to young pictures of your mom? Who the starts a conversation like that? I just sat down.”
  - “It's dark; it's cold; and hooking up is just a crapshoot 'cause of all the big coats.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, they were stopping me from punching you in the face.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “I'm kind of in a hurry Son of a bitch! Oh, my God! Are you okay? I'm sorry.”
  - “I'm still just upset about the damn government sticking its nose in my business.”
  - “…Workingman! Good afternoon, friends and socioeconomic equals! Is anyone else out there sick of government crap?”
  - “Yeah, those bastards have ruined everything.”
  - “What the hell? W-W-Which one is it-- stop or go forward? This is a big deal.”
  - “Peter, what the hell were you doing out there? You know, for years I've been sick of taking the roads home, so today I took the yards.”
  - “Damn it, this is what I was afraid was going to happen.”
  - “Some of our representatives may end up being bastards.”

## S10 E22 — Family Guy Viewer Mail (2)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1022.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Continuing a popular show tradition, Brian and Stewie respond to viewer mail. We meet a British version of the Griffins, Quahog is taken over by a famous comedian and we get to see the world from Stewie's POV. Then, Peter encourages Joe to have a one-night stand with his attractive new partner in order to even the score with Bonnie for her own indiscretions. But when Bonnie finds out and threatens divorce, Lois insists that Peter get them back together. Meanwhile, Peter has another run-in with the angry chicken which makes for yet another epic fight.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's about the little penis that could.”
  - “I wanna see if I can still smell your mom's boobs on your mouth.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Ho-ho! Eggs! Who came first, the chicken or the porn star? Ho-ho! The Porn Identity! Who am I? Oh, yeah! The pizza man! Baka-chikka-bwow-bwow! Ho-ho! Ho-ho! Peter, can you pass the coffee? Sure, Brian the dog.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - Coming up: “a man with a gun and two bullets has taken over the city of Manchester.”
  - “The Queen's comin' to Billingsbury? That's bloody sweet! You know, I'm actually a relation of the royal family.”
  - “Must've been a difficult marriage, too, 'cause every afternoon she'd be belly-achin' about her bloody duke.”
  - “The Queen, eh? I'd like to mash my banger in her blood pudding.”
  - “As a moviegoer, I want to punch you in the face.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Again? But Neville, you spend all your time down at the Fox and Pig and Dog and Wolf and Cat and Fiddle and Whistle and Cock.”
  - “The Fox and Pig and Dog and Wolf and Cat and Fiddle and Whistle and Cock is for tossers.”
  - “Come on! Queen! Queen! Give me some of your hair! Come on, Queen! Don't be a bitch! Get us away from that lunatic! She's heading into that tunnel! Dear God! The Queen's dead! All right, Collingsworth, I got a hair.”
  - “Ho-ho! Scattered stream of references! Lots of energy! One good one for every ten! Ho-ho! Damn these hands!”
  - “Frog My God, how the hell do I keep falling for that? Now you play with your toys and I'll go get yo a nice, fluffy towel.”
- Homophobic jokes — 3 moment(s)
  - “I found him with another fag in his mouth this morning.”
  - “Oh, is that right? So you fancy fags, do you? Well, here.”
  - “Have a whole carton of fags! I just want a comely lass to look upon me with favour.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “What a two-bit Wichita whore.”
  - “I'm swimming at night 'cause I'm a slut and now I'm paying the price for it.”

## S10 E23 — Internal Affairs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1023.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Joe cheats on the cheating Bonnie; and it's Peter vs. the angry chicken (again).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Sleeping with this girl wi even things up.”
  - “In fact, you owe it to Bonnie to have sex with this woman.”
  - “I perform purification rituals on my body after we have sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I go down there a couple times a week to have CB sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “What will it be, fellas? I'd like to cram both your boobs into a martini glass.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “What the hell's wrong with people? Thanks for inviting me to lunch, Lois, but why are we eating at a strip club? I know the waitress here from water aerobics.”
  - “You want a lap dance, mister? No.”
- Affairs / cheating — 5 moment(s)
  - “I could never cheat on Bonnie.”
  - “Didn't Bonnie have that affair in Paris? Oh, yeah.”
  - “So, how is everything? Didn't Bonnie have that affair in Paris? He used his stinky French wiener to defile her.”
  - “Guys, am I the only one who thinks it's weird talking about Joe cheating on Bonnie in front of their baby? I think we can all benefit from a little strange now and then.”
  - “You cheated on me? I-I, uh You bastard! Bonnie, please.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Apparently, there were 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog, and yet my guy can't get dick.”
  - “You son of a bitch! I ought to kill you right here! Hey! This punk's not worth it.”
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “You okay? You bastard! Well, now I've seen Woodrow Wilson naked.”
  - “Is it true you got straight A's in Officer Henderson's Overintensity Workshop? You're damn right I did! Well, you did some great work today.”
  - “What the hell? Come on! No drive.”
  - “Damn it, Peter! Now, hold on.”
  - “What the hell's D-Date? Diarrhea Date.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “A major drug bust in Quahog today as police seized over 100 kilos of cocaine.”
  - “Apparently, there were 100 kilos of cocaine right here in Quahog, and yet my guy can't get dick.”

## S11 E1 — 1. Into Fat Air
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1101.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In the season premiere, the Griffins decide to climb Mount Everest after their competitive family friends announce their ambitious plans to hike the legendary mountain. However, things go awry when the Griffins get stuck on the mountainside in the middle of a massive storm.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Your old boyfriend? The one with the penis? Peter, would you stop being so jealous? I dated Ross 20 years ago.”
  - “The mountains look like nipples.”
  - “Well, you can't just call a country Nipples.”
  - “But I'm gonna stare at his wife's boobs so hard that when they both go into the kitchen together, it will be discussed.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Okay, the Fishmans are heading up the North Face, but I've been studying this map and I think we've got a better chance of beating them if we go up the South Face.”
  - “We can beat them! Hey, you know, I heard, when you drink at high altitude, it hits you even faster.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Lois, this is probably a terrible time to remember this, but I think I might have left the weed whacker on.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Seems kind of racist, doesn't it? No, no, 'cause, 'cause Sammy's in on it.”

## S11 E2 — 2. Ratings Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1102.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On a Halloween-themed night, the Griffins are selected to have their television viewing habits monitored. But Peter takes his participation too far when he tries to control the airwaves.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “And, uh, here's Paul to play you to sleep with a lullaby.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, what are we gonna watch? Boobs! Project Runway! The Good Wife! That black version of our show! You know, guys, this is a real opportunity to promote quality programming.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Tonight on Dateline, a woman murdered.”
  - “What's up, nerds? You waiting for some guy to fall asleep with a cigarette? Lazy fire turds! Have another donut, pig! We got guns!”
  - “Whoa, scrappy little blaze, huh? Oh, my God, the fire's got a gun! What the was that? Come on, Stewie.”
  - “We now return to Cops With Banana Guns.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “I got it! Aah! Son of a bitch! You know who I hate? The troops.”
  - “Just someone, do it! Okay, Dick Wolf, make the same Law and Order six times.”
  - “Oh, and also, could you marry Matt Weiner 'cause I want your name to be Dick "Weener.”
  - “Work, damn it! What the hell? What's going on with the news? This is terrible! Yeah, has he lost his mind? Well, I'll be damned.”
  - “What? Peter, you told him to do this crap? Yeah, he came to my house when he found out I was a Nielsen family, asked what I wanted to see.”
  - “Hell, I wish I could do it with all the shows.”
  - “Ha! That's funny! Peter, what the hell's going on here? Lois, we're no longer one Nielsen family.”
  - “Aah! I got glass in my face! Oh, crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Let me buy you a beer.”

## S11 E3 — 3. The Old Man & the Big 'C'
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1103.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian discovers that Carter Pewterschmidt's pharmaceutical company is withholding the cure for cancer from the public in order to gain more profit, he and Stewie plot to expose the big secret that could change the world. Meanwhile, Quagmire reveals a hair-raising secret of his own.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Our research shows the primary use of our product is sperm.”
  - “But I thought sneezing was Jerry, Jerry, it's sperm and nonsense.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “You're all looking at my penis.”
  - “I'm wearing my dead grandmother's panties.”
  - “Can't you just sniff cancer? No, that's just a myth we started so we could stick our snouts in girls' boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “You certainly look a lot better than that walking corpse I saw last week.”
  - “Did you hear that, Brian? That "walking corpse" was Carter dying of cancer.”
  - “Too fast, too fast! Our children should not have to live in fear! Okay, well, how come you're not doing this in front of your own house? Oh, my ham radio interferes with the radar gun.”
  - “I-It's-- I might've jumped the gun.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “That's it? What the hell? Where's the cancer cure announcement? That son of a bitch went back on his word.”
  - “Your dad fought in World War II, and you can't even pee in a urinal? What the hell's wrong with you? All set? Yup.”
  - “Come on, Big Papi! It's coming straight for us! I got it, I got it! Mine! I got it! It's my ball Damn it, Brian!”
  - “What the hell.”
  - “Hey, your weekend sucks! I've already gone on a hike and fixed a few things around my house! What are you doing?! Peter, who is that man? I don't want to talk about it.”
  - “Oh, crap, there's a keypad.”
  - “Damn it, Brian.”
  - “But holy crap, wind 'em up and watch 'em go.”
  - “Ah! Damn it! You bastards.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You want a beer? Ehh, I don't think so.”
  - “Boy, nothing like a beer with the fellas, eh? Peter, would you mind putting on some shoes? Oh, you mean foot prisons? Yes, I would.”

## S11 E4 — 4. Yug Ylimaf
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1104.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian uses Stewie's time machine to impress women whom he meets at bars, he accidentally causes time to run in reverse. So he and Stewie must figure out how to restore the forward progress of time before Stewie is unborn. Then, in the FAMILY GUY 200th Episode retrospective, fans will get a behind-the-scenes look at this irreverent comedy's most outrageous moments, through fascinating interviews with creator Seth MacFarlane and voice actors Mila Kunis, Alex Borstein and Seth Green. Additionally, the special will give fans an exclusive glimpse into the cast and crew's 200th episode party in Los Angeles.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “The only way I believe I'm pretty is if strangers have sex with me.”
  - “Come have sex with me.”
  - “Hey, why does your time machine have a sticker that says "property of Stewie Griffin?" Uh, well, I-I All right, to be completely honest, and because we've already had sex, it's not mine.”
  - “Does no one in this house have any dignity? Hey, Lois, I'm home from the Clam, and I'm horny.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hello there, sexy.”
  - “…screaming around here! And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, there's a dog having sex with a woman!”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's a girl! With a penis and no vagina.”
  - “You know what? I take it back, those panties are gonna be in the way.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Bloody hell! It's a boy.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Come on, math, you dick.”
  - “Brian, what the hell are you doing in here? What's happening to my time machine? I-I don't know, man.”
  - “The question is, how am I going to fix it? What the hell? Dear God, everything's moving backward.”
  - “Damn right I do! Now, get this turd-filled sack off Oh, my God, it just went back in my body.”
  - “Damn it, I hate these new stairs! What are you watching? Meet the Press; it's really weird.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, look, what's wrong with Peter? Oh, you smell that? He's passed out drunk.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You bastard! You've been using my time machine to nail your bar skanks! Oh, come on, they're not all bad.”

## S11 E5 — 5. Joe's Revenge
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1105.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The criminal who, years ago, shot Joe and left him in a wheelchair, becomes a fugitive. So, Quagmire, Joe and Peter team up to hunt the bad guy down.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Otherwise, you're smashing feces into her genitals.”
  - “What the hell is that? Swiss Army penis.”
  - “We're going to have to go with the acetylene torch penis.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Briggs' FBI profile says the only relationship he's maintained over the years is with a stripper named Tanya.”
  - “Hey, we're looking for a stripper named Tanya.”
  - “I know how to communicate with strippers.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, and thanks for letting me fire a few rounds into Briggs's corpse.”
  - “Joe, you have blood just pouring out of your pant leg.”
  - “You know last night was the first time in 15 years I didn't strangle Bonnie in my sleep? Okay.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “They finally got that son of a bitch, Briggs.”
  - “Damn it! He's getting away! You're not going to get away this time, you son of a bitch.”
  - “You know that guy? You're damn right, I do.”
  - “Hey, you ever just drive through a town and wonder, "Who the hell lives here?" All the time.”
  - “You guys, I found him! He went that way! Damn it.”
  - “What? Yeah, what the hell? You should be out there arresting the real criminals.”
  - “Yeah, the bastard's making a break for it, just like South America.”
  - “You were all like And Briggs was all like And then you were all like And then Briggs's legs were like Oh, crap, he's dead.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Briggs was one of the biggest heroin dealers east of Providence, which is mostly just open water, but still, I'd been undercover, tracking his operation for six months and had finally gained his confidence.”
  - “Bobby Briggs, you're really good at heroin.”
  - “She here tonight? Yeah, she's working the Champagne Room.”

## S11 E6 — 6. Lois Comes Out of Her Shell
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1106.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Lois experiences a mid-life crisis, and Peter tries to keep up with her new, wild lifestyle. Meanwhile, Stewie finds a turtle at the park and brings him home as his new pet, unaware that the turtle is evil and determined to destroy Stewie's life.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Let's have sex on all the clean, folded laundry.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Tom, I'm standing here at the Quahog Civic Center, awash in a pool of prepubescent sexual moisture.”
  - “I want a smart, sexy, beautiful, middle-aged companion.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, here, put Meg's bra in your mouth.”
  - “Ugh, you look like a nude Larry David.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “My hormones are just crazy right now! Stewie, you want a Mommy rocket ride? What? What do you mean? Here we go! Get ready for blastoff! Ow! Son of a bitch!”
  - “Peter, can you come down to the laundry room? Ugh, son of a bitch.”
  - “Wow! This is incredible! What the hell's going on here? And over here are my toys.”
  - “To Lois! To Lois! Lois! Mom! Geez, what the hell's her problem? Peter, she was already feeling insecure about her age, and then you went and gave her that horrible speech! I don't blame her.”
  - “Take me, you filthy bastard.”
  - “Old man?! What, you think you're not gonna get old, you little bastard?! And, Lois, I've had enough of you, too! Now, you come home and start acting your age! No, Peter.”
  - “Hey, get out here and fight me! Damn it! Now batting: Stewie Griffin! Oh, crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Well, after opening all these gifts, I could use a little wine right now myself.”
  - “And I have a lovely gift of the batchslapping variety waiting for you when I'm just the right amount of drunk.”
  - “And you're noticing this at 8:20 in the morning? What has happened to your life? Do you need to talk? Just stay away from my booze! It wasn't me, Brian.”
  - “Brian, keys! Chris, beer! Meg, ugly! Mm-hmm.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “What the hell? Hey, sluts! OMG, stop staring at me, please-'kay-thanks.”

## S11 E7 — 7. Friends Without Benefits
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1107.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Meg finally gathers the courage to ask out her crush, Kent, she is devastated to learn he's gay. But when Meg discovers that Kent has feelings for Chris, she uses her brother in the worst way to get closer to Kent.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 10 moment(s)
  - “Are you sure we don't need a condom? No, it's okay, I'm a lawyer.”
  - “Hook up with me! Come on! We can make this work.”
  - “I've just got to get Chris to sleep with him.”
  - “What? Are you out of your mind?! Chris, please, just sleep with Kent and then tell me all about it.”
  - “All right, I talked to Chris, and he totally wants to hook up with you, too.”
  - “Sperm finding a fertile egg.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Meg and Kent are having space sex We can't show it But that's what's happening.”
  - “"Kent is so incredibly sexy.”
  - “It's just that he's not as comfortable with his sexuality as you are yet, so he's gonna need to pretend to be asleep while it's happening.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Really? You got big sweat marks under your boobs.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Uh And math class? And bio? And the Facebook campaign to get me to kill myself? Oh, Meg! Hey, what's up? Hey! Um, nothing much.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “All it takes is one guy making one mistake, one drunken night.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're a whore, Sheila, and I'm gonna make sure everybody knows it! Here! I can't read.”

## S11 E8 — 8. Jesus, Mary & Joseph
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1108.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter tells his own version of the Nativity story.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Not just because Mary was a virgin, but because baseball would not be invented for 1,800 years and nobody knew what the hell he was talking about.”
  - “Well, I do have a very good virginity coach.”
  - “That floor's gonna be dripping in virgin olive oil.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “How can anyone get pregnant without having sex? Oh, there's lots of stories of that, Meg.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And I brought you a breast pump, which in these times is just a guy.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, look at that-- there's hardly any blood.”
  - “Oh, and he probably don't want me to tell you this, but be ready 'cause he might give you a little bit of a donkey punch.”
  - “Magic baby? What's he do, card tricks, rabbit in the hat? Would he let someone in the audience punch him in the stomach? I'd like to punch a baby in the stomach.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “She's gonna go down in history as "Hot Bitch Mary.”
  - “He already sounds like a dick.”
  - “Are you still there, dear? Well, we just wanted to Damn it! So, how was the It's been rather cold.”
  - “Oh, my God, you want him to get the crap beat out of him? They will crucify him with a name like that.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “No no That's the name of a champagne.”
  - “You want me to get y'all some wine and cheeses? Wait, what'd you just say? Cheeses.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, I know that girl-- that's Donna Magdalene, and her sister's a bigger slut than she is.”
  - “…gotta help us! You're lucky it's Christmas or I'd call the cops on you dirty grifters! Now you and your whore wife get out of here!”

## S11 E9 — 9. Space Cadet
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1109.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To boost Chris' self-esteem, Peter and Lois send him to space camp. When camp ends and the Griffins come to pick Chris up, they accidentally are launched into outer space, and it's up to Chris to land the clan safely back on earth.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stop making fun of me! I just wanted to listen to you guys have sex, but you were saying mean things about me.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “I know, and he's got boobs, too.”
  - “Stupid guy with boobs.”
  - “Griffin naked simultaneously.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Porn? Porn? Yes! Yes! Gay porn? No.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Meg, all your suicide threats over the years, and you're just as chicken as the rest of us.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Ha! Stupid drunk bitches.”
  - “What are we going to do about him? What the hell happened to all the smart genes in this family? I mean, I invent the razor blade comb, and my kids are doing nothing.”
  - “But guys to engage, we're gonna to take the shuttle out of Hello? Hello? Crap, I think we lost him.”
  - “Peter, no! (crackling) Damn it, now we've lost communication entirely.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hello? Hey, is fat ass home yet? Put him on, I want to talk to him.”

## S11 E10 — Brian's Play
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1110.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Brian writes a play that's a hit in Quahog, but his confidence is shaken when he reads a play Stewie wrote that's much better than his. Soon, Stewie's work is Broadway-bound, causing a rift between the two.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Your husband murdered three children.”
  - “He just pays me to watch him sleep and rub this knife across my face while I do it.”
  - “Shut up! May every person that laughs at your sophomoric effort be a reminder of your eternal mediocrity and pierce your heart like a knife.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Several of them have already committed suicide.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We both know those are the ingredients used to make crystal meth.”

## S11 E11 — The Giggity Wife
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1111.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Peter, Quagmire and Joe visit the Harvard University campus, Quagmire accidentally marries a prostitute. In order to get out of his marriage, Quagmire pretends to be lovers with Peter.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Let me watch you have sex with a man.”
  - “If that's what it takes, I'll have sex with another man.”
  - “Your body makes me so horny.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What? You mean, like sex? Yeah, and we should go now.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Oh, menopause? No, I got knifed in the vagina one Christmas.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, I I married a hooker? Married? All right, bachelor party! Come on! Back to Boston! Aw, aw, damn it.”
  - “This this can't be possible! I can't be married to a prostitute! Where will you two be going on your scummymoon? And can I plan your bridal golden shower? I don't even know your name! It's Charmese.”
  - “Hello, Internet porn.”
  - “What are you watching? That that's straight porn.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “…I'm gonna try for an uptown girl She's been living in her white bread world As long as anyone with hot blood can I would like to pawn all these clothes for crack money.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You lied to me, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Geez, what the hell kind of stupid wallet is that, Joe? Bonnie's making wallets now.”
  - “Holy crap! This place is amazing! And just think, this is where Helen Keller used to eat when she went here.”
  - “What the? Who the hell are you? Who the hell do you think I am, sweetie? Oh, no.”
  - “Damn it, Glenn, if you're not gay, then the divorce is off.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “Tonight, I want to go out and just get wasted.”
  - “Hey, what can I get you fellas? Hey, what do you say we get some shots? Yeah! Let's get wasted! Yeah! Let's get wicked bombed! Sorry, pal, we already have an intense wheelchair guy.”
  - “Hey, sometimes when daddies drive home drunk, they come from far away places, but it's okay because they didn't get arrested and they're still kind of drunk so they-they think it's okay.”
  - “Listen, Charmese, I was obviously very, very drunk.”
  - “God, who are the pigs who just throw their empty beer cans down here? Hey, Charmese.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You heard her, the crazy skank wants to be a wife.”

## S11 E12 — Valentine's Day in Quahog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1112.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Love is in the air on Valentine's Day. Meg dates a guy from the internet, Stewie uses his time machine and falls for a girl in the '60s and Peter and Lois decide to stay in bed all day. Meanwhile, Brian's ex-girlfriends pay him a visit and Quagmire gets in touch with his feminine side.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “What are you talking about? Bombay is sperm city.”
  - “Permission to begin a day of epic lovemaking, sexy lady.”
  - “Hey, toots, you know why I pulled you over? You were going too sexy in a 35 zone.”
  - “And who has better sex than people who don't use toilet paper? I don't know, Peter.”
  - “He's just having a difficult time coming to terms with his own sexuality.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And he's got a tiny penis! Yeah, that was pretty clear by the survey.”
  - “You still have bits of penis left, and you can never get wet.”
  - “She's basically a boob on a leg at this point.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “And if I need help, I'll just fantasize about that Victorian stripper.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Officer down! I hereby declare this public park and future homosexual meeting spot open! Unhand that woman, you bastard! Adam! Well, well, well, if it isn't Mayor "Guns For Toys" West.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell? That's weird.”
  - “What? Joe, what the hell's wrong with you? It's me, Quagmire.”
  - “You bastard! Sorry, Meg.”
  - “This wedding sucks, huh?”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Okay, now who wants more wine? This is great.”
  - “She calls me drunk every Valentine's Day.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, you slut.”

## S11 E13 — Chris Cross
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1113.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To buy new sneakers, Chris steals money from Lois' purse. When Meg catches him in the act, she forces him to do all of her chores in exchange for keeping mum. But Chris finally tires of the pact, and runs away to live with Herbert. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian become obsessed with singer Anne Murray, and visit her to find out the true meaning of "Snowbird".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “This portion of the Channel 5 News at 6:00 is brought to you buy condoms.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Meg, this is how a lot of porn starts.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You didn't write it, but you know it, bitch.”
  - “Tough stain, right? Oh, crap, I forgot the vacuum.”
  - “And though I What the hell? Are you listening to Anne Murray? Uh, I am experiencing Anne Murray.”
  - “Why? That music is complete crap.”
  - “I think Anne Murray sucks, and that's my opinion.”
  - “What the hell is all this? This is history, Brian.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'll pour some wine, rub in some feces, and, to top it off, some mustard mixed with feces.”

## S11 E14 — Call Girl
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1114.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When the Griffins find themselves in a financial bind, Lois is forced to find a job of her own. She gets discovered by a "voiceover" talent agent named Randy, who actually runs an adult-only phone line and pays his employees generously. As Lois settles into her new gig, she hears Peter's voice on the other end of the line. Peter introduces his pet falcon Xerces that has been trained to retrieve items for him to everyone.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Hey, Joe, how often do you have sex with Bonnie? Well, my HMO only pays for the equipment once a year.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hello? Uh, h-hi there sexy.”
  - “Peter, I've had a long day at work, and right now, sex is the last thing I want to think about.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “This is a phone sex operation.”
  - “There's this new phone sex chick I been calling, and she is amazing.”
  - “By the way, you may have to become a full-on prostitute, 'cause our phone bill was $7,000.”
- Affairs / cheating — 3 moment(s)
  - “Isn't that cheating on Lois? No, look, it's over the phone.”
  - “I mean, cheating on your wife is a very serious thing.”
  - “You see Eight hours later Oh, my God! So, as far as Peter knows, he's about to cheat on you? Lois, you got to draw the line here.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! Okay.”
  - “Bye, Otis! That son of a bitch.”
  - “Peter, what the hell? For Xerxes, every meal is a pageant.”
  - “Now if you'll excuse me What the hell?! Peter, make him stop! Hey, what do you got going on down there, Quagmire? You got a, you got a rodent situation? Uh, no! Well, Xerxes seems to think there is.”
  - “Damn it, Peter, I'm probably gonna have to get a job.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You must be a phone whore.”

## S11 E15 — Turban Cowboy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1115.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter, Quagmire and Joe need a jolt in their mundane lives, they decide to go skydiving. But after an unfortunate accident, Peter ends up in the hospital, where he befriends Mahmoud, who convinces Peter to convert to Islam. Quagmire and Joe are suspicious of Mahmoud's intentions and try to stop the friendship from progressing.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's like ear-bloodening sounds had sex with nose-bloodening smells and this is their baby.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “O, Great Spirit, why do I hold myself back in such situa? Oh, the ground! Damn it! The Eiffel Tower? Oh, cool, I'm in Paris! Hey, look at that douchebag who got stabbed in the butt! Aw, crap, I'm in Vegas.”
  - “It's like ear-bloodening sounds had sex with nose-bloodening smells and this is their baby.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What she really means is that it's shaky Mommy's white wine time.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? What are you talking about? This is your post-9/11 racism talking.”

## S11 E16 — 12 and a Half Angry Men
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1116.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Bloody murder occurs at Mayor West's mansion, and he is the prime suspect. The mayor is put on trial, and it is up to the citizens of Quahog to determine if he is guilty or not.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “rex trying to masturbate.”
  - “Oh, he couldn't masturbate because his arms are too short They feared him from Kilpatrick Down to Galway Bay Port Luckily he found a wife so he could have sex The non-masturbatin' Tyrannosaurus rex.”
  - “" This is from the night you had sex with Quagmire's dad.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Not just any party-- a sex party.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “We call them "genital jamborees.”
  - “Would she be face up? No, she had small breasts but a great ass.”
  - “Prancing around with his naked lip out for all the world to see.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, Internet porn-- check.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “An aide to Mayor Adam West has been found stabbed to death at the mayor's mansion.”
  - “What do you know about the murder? Did you kill that man? Yes, I'll take a question from the reporter from the Quahog Elementary School Gazette.”
  - “In closing, although it seems pretty clear that my client committed this murder, I would consider it a personal favor to me if you found him not guilty.”
  - “It wasn't that aide that got stabbed in the back, it was me! Not guilty.”
  - “There's still a murderer out there.”
  - “Police say the victim was killed by a knife belonging to the mayor, who is considered the prime suspect at this time.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “What more proof do you want? Yeah, are you trying to suggest that Mayor West's enemy faked a corruption letter and then killed himself? That's idiotic! But it just might work.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Peter, how long do we have to sit here? Until I'm not angry anymore, you naked bunch of bitches! Everyone, please be seated.”
  - “I'm starting to think all you do is dick around.”
  - “Anyone for "not guilty"? What the hell? All right, looks like we's gonna be here a while.”
  - “Joe, what the hell are you doing out there? You're a cop, not a bailiff.”
  - “Aw, damn it.”
  - “Do you guys mind if I struggle to open these blinds? Damn it, come on, stay up there.”
  - “I mean, doesn't that mean anything? No, not to West, that ungrateful bastard.”

## S11 E17 — Bigfat
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1117.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter, Quagmire and Joe fly on a private plane to Canada, they crash in the middle of the wilderness, far from civilization. Peter is chosen to find help, but ends up going missing for two months, only to be found as a feral creature with no ability to communicate intelligently. The Griffins must find a way to bring back Peter to his old self.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Just like Inspector Gadget forgot about that one-night stand.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that a Canadian strip club is the most magical place in the world.”
  - “Nip nip here, nip nip there And a bevy of porno stars There's jugand mugs of Molson beer In Canadian nudie bars Dirty ho's put on shows And a lot of 'em…”
  - “Aw, sorry, Chris, but this weekend, Quagmire's taking me to a Canadian strip club.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “We now return to Stabbed in the Butt, the only game show where if you get the answer wrong, you get stabbed in the butt.”
  - “What is the atomic weight of nitrogen? Get him, guys! Stab him in the butt! Okay, bye, you guys.”
  - “Honey, don't you think it's weird that our three-year-old son is murdering animals? Nonsense.”

## S11 E18 — Total Recall
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1118.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 4/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: After teddy bear Rupert gets recalled, Stewie stops at nothing to get back his beloved best friend. Meanwhile, Peter falls ill and can't compete in his bowling tournament. So Lois fills in for him. But when she gets a little too close to Peter's teammates, he gets jealous.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “It was the first time I had an orgasm out the front and back.”
  - “You owe me from when I took you to see Shakespeare in the Park, even though it was the part of the park where the gay guys go to have sex.”
  - “Talk about who we'd rather have sex with.”
  - “But I want you to keep talking to me in that sexy voice while we do it.”
  - “You know what happened, you sexy minx.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “For one thing, there's the boobs, which Kristen Stewart does not have.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “But, Brian, I miss him! Without Rupert, I Are you watching porn in the kitchen? Come on, man, we eat in here.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You still riding with that mangy polecat Fletcher? Fletcher met the long arm of the law at the wrong end of a shotgun and the deep end of a grave at the far end of a dead-end road.”
  - “My white blood cells attacked the pathogens and created antibodies, and then the pathogens were filtered out by my kidneys into my urine and then expelled from my body, you slut.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “…Joe! Yes! Yeah! Yeah! We did it! Oh, what's this? What's this? It says right here we won! We won, you dicks!”
  - “Don't talk to me that way, you son of a bitch! Oh, hey, Peter! Oh, hey.”
  - “…Maybe I can help! Maybe I can use this helicopter to knock Rupert off the conveyor belt Ah! Son of a bitch!”
  - “Replacement? What the hell is this? What? Come on, he's a cute little giraffe.”
  - “What the hell, Lois? Yesterday you were all over me.”
  - “Damn it, this sucks, Brian.”
  - “Uh, Stewie? Oh, crap.”
  - “Damn it! Brian, do something! Oh, Rupert! Thank God, you're alive! I'm I'm ready now.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Give me cocaine! The History Channel presents Where in World War Two is Waldo? Do I sound sexy? Tell me I sound sexy.”
  - “We shot some drug dealer this morning, and he had three Red Sox tickets in his pocket.”
  - “This is not the way out! This is not the way out! Hey, Horace, get that wiener out of your hand and give us three more beers over here! Lois, you're always giving me the business.”
  - “Hey, Horace, why don't you take that wiener out of your hand and get me a beer.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I wish you could hear how racist you sound right now.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “My white blood cells attacked the pathogens and created antibodies, and then the pathogens were filtered out by my kidneys into my urine and then expelled from my body, you slut.”

## S11 E19 — Save the Clam
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1119.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When the owner of the Clam is killed, the bar closes and Peter, Quagmire and Joe must find a way to save their beloved watering hole. Meanwhile, Meg gets an after-school job at a funeral home.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “If we don't lose our virginity tonight, we're never gonna make it in college! Hey, where's Peter? Only talking to Amanda Small, the hottest girl in school.”
  - “Quagmire, when a girl says she doesn't want to have sex with you, do you take that as an answer? My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question.”
  - “Hey, thanks for the sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I wake up with blood on my penis pillow.”
  - “So I borrowed your bra.”
  - “My boobs hurt when I go down the stairs! No, not that, you idiot.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “I wake up with blood on my penis pillow.”
  - “Joe, wait, put your gun down.”
  - “Can I offer you some punch? No, thanks.”
  - “Why is why is Label Guy trying to punch me? Punch you first, Label Guy.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's where the three of us made that suicide pact that Quagmire and I are gonna back out of at the last minute.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “…a man who positively can do All the things that make us Laugh and cry He's a Fam ily Guy! All right, Drunken Clammers, this is it, the most important game of the season.”
  - “Now, is everybody drunk? Completely.”
  - “I'm sorry but The Drunken Clam is permanently closed.”
  - “Peter, what's going on down here? Why are there beer bottles all over the floor? Well, we needed a new spot to drink, Lois.”
  - “And all the booze is still in there.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Uh, yes, I'd like to mail this to a whore.”

## S11 E20 — Farmer Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1120.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the Griffins move to a farm, Peter gets into the illicit drug business, a la "Breaking Bad,".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, do you see the back of your underwear in the mirror? Yes.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “There we go! It's a boy! And he's got a gun! Well, you guys, we did it.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! They also stole my sense of wonder.”
  - “…is going on out there?! Come on out, whoever you are! I want to show my kids what it looks like when a bitch dies!”
  - “Then what the hell was that?! That was just me saying, "That was just a cricket.”
  - “Hey, everyone, I'm back! Hello? What the hell? Hey, Brian's home! What the hell is going on? Nothing, nothing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “cold medicine? You guys I think this is a meth lab.”
  - “Oh, my God! You guys, there's a fully functional meth lab in our basement.”
  - Our top story: “Methamphetamine is flooding into Quahog in epidemic amounts, and is believed to be originating from the nearby rural community of Farmton.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You sick whore.”

## S11 E21 — Road to Vegas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1121.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie and Brian use Stewie's time machine to go to Las Vegas for a Bette Midler concert, but chaos ensues when the machine malfunctions and creates alt-versions of the pair: a "lucky" version and an "unlucky" one. Then, the Griffins are invited to join the prestigious Barrington Country Club and, of course, get thrown out.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “They were promised a single millionaire, but it's really just a bunch of horny squirrels in a rich-guy suit.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, doesn't it seem weird to you that we have to re-check-in every 20 minutes? Also the porn is free, but we have to watch it in the lobby.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I want to pay a Wayne Neon look-alike to beat up a Rita Rudner look-alike.”
  - “Pay him to beat up Rita Rudner.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Oh, son of a bitch.”
  - “You dick! Oh, my God, Brian! Brian, no! Good Lord, what have I done? I better get the hell out of here.”
  - “What the hell, Stewie? It didn't work.”
  - “Take your Juicy sweatpants and your dirty pillow from home, and your bucket of Coke, and get the hell out of my sight.”
  - “Well, this sucks.”
  - “Damn it, Vegas! Excuse me, where can I find some smoking Asians? Oh, everywhere? Okay.”
  - “Oh crap, we're screwed.”
  - “You bastards think you can just borrow a bunch of money from a loan shark and then waste it on tacky suits? Tacky? Sir, I'll have you know I bought this in the lobby of a casino.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Laura gets home at 7: “00, so I figure we can stare at our wine glasses till then.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “I see-- is there a less heavy person that could check again for me? I'm sorry, we're all booked up because the Slut Convention's in town.”
  - “Slut Convention? Yeah.”

## S11 E22 — No Country Club for Old Men
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1122.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: The Griffins receive an invite to join a posh country club, the Barringtons. Peters father in-law gets jealous because he has been trying to join for years.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “We never even got a chance to have sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Sir, your nipples are fine! You don't need to reconstruct them! I want Hershey Kiss nipples, and I want you to pay for them! Look, Mr.”
  - “You know what part I liked the most? Walking around the locker room naked and offering people sections of a tiny clementine.”
  - “God, it's good to be old and nude.”
  - “Is that so? Well, perhaps I should take my thong elsewhere.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I-I've heard he has quite the blue-blood pedigree.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Aah! Son of a bitch! What the hell did I just sit on? Where is it? Where's my harmonica? It's not here! Peter, have you seen Stewie's harmonica? It was in the tub.”
  - “Holy crap, this is awesome.”
  - “Is that him in the spotlight? Would you Oh, damn it! Now he got away! Oh, no I said too much? I want you out of here! Look, Mr.”
  - “I mean, it's just human nature to suck up to the people above you, crap on those beneath you and undercut your equals.”
  - “You're not Duke of Lacrosse Team! And you're not Viscount James Earl Tennis Racquet! Security! Come throw these frauds out of my club! Damn it, Peter, you blew it!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I got a big-ass coat, chair to sit in, chalice cup of wine and a midget, but I ain't going out there with all them monsters out there! Daddy, what happened to you? I can't live without the country club.”

## S12 E1 — 1. Finders Keepers
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1201.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Geez, no wonder you can't walk! You have total renal shutdown! Your kidneys are drowning in a stew of chocolate and coconut! Give me that! What are you doing? Why are your nipples poking into me? Sorry.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Oh, man! Um, this sucks worse than when I went to that strip club without Lois.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, bloody hell! Heh! Beetle Bailey.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Family suicide.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! Everyone's already here! Let's see, "Face the circle in the square.”
  - “You sons of bitches, this is my Oh, my God, look at 'em.”
  - “" What the hell's "dad breath"? You know, "dad breath.”
  - “Where the hell is this guy? I ordered that shrimp two hours ago.”
  - “What was that? Holy crap! Lois, it's the treasure! Oh, my God! Peter, you were right! Oh, no, it's the one kid who also followed the treasure map.”
  - “Crap, you guys, there's already other people here.”
  - “Oh, damn it, Lois, they're already here!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - “As you can see, we are predominantly an East Coast beer.”
  - “Treasure?! Yeah, baby? Bring me a grape wine.”
  - “I mean, last time we came into some money, he just wasted it on all those diamond pinkie rings for everybody.”
  - “You know, Peter, in the first eight minutes of Meg's play, before I walked out, they said Miles Musket was a horrible drunk and a wife beater.”
  - “And he probably misspelled "missus" because he was drunk when he wrote it.”
  - “And "cheers" and "boos" might be referring to a bar where he would "cheers," and drink his "booze.”
  - “" "Hits missus, cheers and booze.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's right, Tom, and I sincerely hope that the caption beneath me doesn't say "Local Fatty.”

## S12 E2 — 2. Vestigial Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1202.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter discovers that he has a vestigial twin, whom he names Chip, growing out of his neck. It's not long before Peter resents the fact that everyone seems to love Chip more than him, so he decides to amputate his twin. However, when Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “…And have them come get me I want to swim in the pool but only with my shirt on I want to lose my virginity at 24 But tell everyone I was 16 Ah, crap, I'm out of beer.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm gonna go show my penis to some kids.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “(high-pitched): Hey, boys, catch me if you can! Oh, crap! I didn't realize they had bikes! (groans) What are they gonna do when they catch me? Oh, boy, I got a back-of-the-head punch coming, I just know it!”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You what? Yeah, I was driving past there, and we were out of some stuff, so I You listen to me, you son of a bitch! I've got one thing in this lifetime! One thing.”
  - “See you around, bitch.”
  - “Okay, one, two Sorry! ANNOUNCER: Sorry! The board game that teaches you to be a dick.”
  - “Where? Chris, run! You were right! She didn't appreciate it! Oh, crap! CHRIS: Ow! That's right.”
  - “What the hell happened here? Look out! (muffled speaking) He wants to know who you are.”
  - “What the hell? Why won't this button? It's the same size I always get.”

## S12 E3 — 3. Quagmire's Quagmire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1203.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Quagmire meets a woman named Sonja who is as sexually insatiable as he is, he is thrilled to finally be with someone who won't judge him. However, things take a turn for the worse when Sonja abducts Quagmire, intending to make him her sex slave. It is up to Peter, Joe and Quagmire's dad to explore the seedy underbelly of Quahog to find and rescue Quagmire. Meanwhile, a love triangle emerges between Stewie, Brian and Stewie's teddy bear, Rupert,.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “I'm still weirded out from when I walked in on that masturbating Eskimo.”
  - “Oh, look, Chris, here's your costume from the year you went as a condom.”
  - “I want you to have sex with your father.”
  - “I know you came all this way to New York to visit me, but I'm gonna go do blow and have sex with a bunch of stockbrokers.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “…Is what I'm doing helping? Glenn, why did you bring me here? Well, I've always had this fantasy of having sex on the basketball court in front of my high school principal.”
  - “" This is one of your fantasies, right? Public humiliation? Mm, it's sexy, isn't it? Sonja, stop, please! Come on, you love it.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “You don't got the boobs.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, the porn's not the problem.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Now, just hand me the gun, Sonja.”
  - “How'd you know the gun would jam? It didn't jam, Peter.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “He'll kill himself, Brian! He's been through so much already! He can't take much more! Brian, he watched his brother drown! Stewie, relax.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You dick! Thanks for your help, guys.”
  - “What the hell are you supposed to be? Oh, Stewie, look! It's your very first teddy bear! Oscar? Wow, I remember that bear.”
  - “"Three kids on $40,000? Have fun with your crap life.”
  - “No, Peter, the whole thing's fried! I can't even! Ah! damn it! What the hell?! Hey, you clicked "Accept.”
  - “What the hell? Stewie, what are you doing up here? Brian! It's not what you think! All right, I came up here for a photo shoot and it just got way, way out of hand! You're having tea.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “That's my word! Okay, Joe, Joe, you're drunk, okay? You're drunk; give me your keys.”
  - “And-and I'm drunk, so I'll give you my keys.”
  - “You been drinking tonight, sir? Uh, no, Officer, I just had a glass of dinner with my wine.”

## S12 E4 — 4. A Fistful of Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1204.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Meg spills her lunch on the new kid, Michael, who is appropriately nicknamed "Mental Mike." When he sets the date for her end on Friday, Meg tries to get out of it. Meanwhile, Peter continually harasses Brian in the nude until it escalates to the breaking point.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “That sex tape I released should be everywhere by now, and then they'll have to kick me out of the school.”
- Nudity & bodies — 9 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “You thought you were gonna see my wife's penis, but, no, it's mine! You idiot! Good morning, students.”
  - “It's one thing if you put your penis inside-out in the safety of your own bedroom, but to have it done in the cafeteria To this day, I can't have sex with a woman against her will without thinking about rape.”
  - “…It's like I'm just pushing around a plastic bag full of chicken bones! Ugh! Why do you have so many nipples?”
  - “What's wrong? You're-you're naked.”
  - “Everybody gets naked in front of their dog.”
  - “Let's see, Pointy Boobs, Medium-Pointy Boobs, Not-So-Pointy Boobs.”
  - “You've got to be nude.”
  - “Stewie, I am nude.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “I heard he knifed a kid on the playground, then beat up the knife.”
  - “Dad, can you give me a ride to the ? What is that thing?! Aah! Make it go away! What's going on in here? (Peter whimpers, Chris cries Oh, my God, is that a rat?! Peter, hold it down, I'm getting the gun!”
  - “Hey, guys, you four are pretty much the toughest guys in school, right? What would it take to get you to beat up Mike Pulaski? Mental Mike? Are you kidding? Come on, guys, I'll do anything.”
  - “I don't want to get beaten up by a guy unless it's in a limo after prom.”
  - “Um, listen, before we start, could you not hit me here because these are pretty sensitive? He punched her pretty! Oh, he punched her ugly again.”
  - “Ah! Aw! Ah! Aw! Ah! Just stop there! Aw! Punch Rocky Dennis! It's okay, guys.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “There's, like, Are you here to dick around, or you want to do Inside the Actor's Studio?”
  - “…Oh, my God, she's crazy! Did you hear the volleyball team lost in San Diego? All right, you little bitch, it's time to end this thing!”
  - “Right? Now, how the hell do you build a house out of straws? And-and three pigs living together? Gay.”
  - “What about Peter? Why-why doesn't he have to wear this crap? Peter's in his crate.”
  - “Gaah! Geez, what the hell, Brian?! I can't take it anymore! Message for Brian Griffin! I lost my ass gambling.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Don't you remember how much money your father wasted so he could make grand staircase entrances? Hey, is Peter here? Hang on.”
  - “You got time for a beer? I don't know.”

## S12 E5 — 5. Boopa-dee Bappa-dee
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1205.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: The Griffins take a trip to Italy and are forced to deal with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys the family's passports.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “We haven't done it like that since we were engaged but allowed to sleep with other people.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “She'll go out, kill her roommate during a sex game, and then she'll be fine.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “We always just end up reading pornography.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What?! Are you kidding?! Well, if we're going to be Italian, I guess we should start murdering our brothers.”
  - “Then why are we standing here in the parking lot? Because sometimes your team loses, and you have to beat up the ref.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Why are you such a dick, Jim? I'm just mad about pilot stuff.”
  - “Hey, I know a place you can go, Lois: Hell.”
  - “Oh, my God, how the hell are you? I'm doing great.”
  - “Ugh, damn it, Peter! You mean "Pietro.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is it true there's no drinking age here? And they serve wine at every meal? Oh, Meg, nobody likes a drunky-chunky.”

## S12 E6 — 6. Life of Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1206.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Stewie and Brian travel back to 17th century Jamestown, via Stewie's time machine, they encounter too many close calls with altering the course of mankind. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but immediately regrets his decision when an unthinkable event happens and he is unable to go back in time.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I sleep with a fork.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Hey, shot in the dark, but, uh, is anyone else in the mood to run really fast in one direction? Look, there it is! And it looks like he has a return pad, too.”
  - “" You went back to 17th-century Jamestown and you gave guns to the Indians.”
  - “Look, there you are giving them the guns! What the hell are you doing there? You told me you were checking on the horses.”
  - “Uh, we're from the gun company.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Harding is way the cutest! Oh, girls just want to have fun Okay, Brian, I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby, and only dicks don't let babies win.”
  - “It's Hat Boy, bitch! Wow, look at you, Vinny.”
  - “Damn, I'm not getting a smoke signal here.”
  - “Damn it, Stewie, what the hell did you do?! I know, I know, I messed up.”
  - “Brian, look out! Ah, Brian! Oh, my God! Brian! Brian, can you hear me?! Holy crap! What the hell happened?! That guy sucked.”
  - “How about I call you Hat Boy? Hell yeah! Lower your voice, Chris.”
  - “Chris, what are you doing? Call me a creep, you piece of crap!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “All right, so, I guess we'll split the bill 13 ways? Hey, Judas, he ordered, like, five margaritas.”
  - “You want another beer? No.”

## S12 E7 — 7. Into Harmony's Way
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1207.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter's head.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Don't store your condoms in your billfold Those things don't work if they get dry and old Broken rubber Broken rubber!”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I was walking home around It was very dark, and then I-I heard the footsteps Boo! Get to the sex! Guys, I got great news! Oh, what is it, Mort? I put your performance on JewTube.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “…I saw a stick of butter and it almost made me shudder And scream like a baby girl I don't want a giant penis or a rocket trip to Venus I don't want to win the lottery I just want to squat and gobble Till I'm dizzy…”
  - “…something you don't wanna It's guaranteed to leave a mental scar You never should look at your daddy's penis When he's walking down the hall on Sunday morn An acorn in a nest of twigs, and underneath two fetal pigs…”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “This waitress is prettier than my wife I could kill my family with a knife We'll sail around the world by ship I'll give my whole wad as a tip But first I'll kill my family with a…”
  - “Anyway, a bunch of us got together and beat him with a grill lid and windshield wipers, and let's just say, uh, he don't do chick stuff no more.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Get out of the left lane You stupid Asian bitch I don't even know why you are there.”
  - “Our house sucks.”
  - “Everyone from Florida is stupid Everyone from Florida is dumb I might not be the brightest guy But next to them, my IQ's high If they had guitars, here's how they'd strum Why the hell do you brush your teeth at work?”
  - “Hell, yeah, the Winklevoss twins.”
  - “Aah! Damn it, Peter, that was my eyebrow! Let's not make a scene.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, backstage whore, here's the key to my hotel room.”

## S12 E8 — 8. Christmas Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1208.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Okay, Carter, a big part of Christmas is masturbating like you would any other day but feeling guilty about it because it's Christmas.”
  - “Like when I finally got to sleep with Mary Lou Gallo.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “We now return to The Year Without a Santa Claus or Sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And I'm starting to think that other guy wasn't a real penis-butt inspector.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Let's ask that security guard who has everything on his belt except a gun.”
  - “I'm gonna go punch a sandwich.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “What if we told you that we secretly replaced your coffee with Folgers Crystals? Wouldn't you feel like a dumbass? 'Cause of how you just raved about it just now? You stupid son of a bitch.”
  - “Who the hell is Georgette? Okay, Brian, I'm just putting this out there, but I'm a baby and only dicks don't let babies win.”
  - “What the hell? Where's all the decorations? And the big Christmas tree? Oh, look, there's Santa.”
  - “" Damn it, I'm not proud of that.”
  - “What the hell? There's a foot in this box.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What do you want? Meth? Okay.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Your beloved holiday movie is incredibly racist.”

## S12 E9 — 9. Peter Problems
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1209.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Peter finds he can't perform his, um, er, uh, manly duties, he enlists Quagmire and Joe to help him get his mojo back.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 8 moment(s)
  - “Don't you want to have sex? I don't think we've done it since I started working.”
  - “Peter, are you having trouble getting ready? Yes, obviously, I'm having trouble! Well, somebody's gonna have sex with me.”
  - “Doctor, what about Viagra or Cialis? What about them? Well, if Peter could try them, they might help with his problem.”
  - “Hartman says I'm impotent.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Okay? This is not sexual.”
  - “Come on, where's my big, strong man? Putting on one of your dress shirts to look sexy.”
  - “Well, look at it this way, Peter: without sex, you'll have more time to do the things you've always wanted to do.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It's okay, your vagina's just a painted-on hole.”
  - “So you got a stupid penis, huh? I-I guess so.”
  - “I now have full control over your genitals.”
  - “Underwear 'cause you're a cat in the laundry basket hat.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Lois, I'll be damned if I will let my wife be a prostitute.”
  - “What, like a lawyer? Peter, there are jobs for women between prostitute and lawyer.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've only had, like, four beers this morning.”
  - “Then that means And that also means You know what, Peter? You tried hard, and you still earned that wine.”

## S12 E10 — Grimm Job
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1210.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: From Grimm to Griffin, three classic fairy tales get a new Quahog spin, including "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood," and "Cinderella".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “And a box of condoms.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Our sexual troubles are still are still very much alive.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “" Now, that title could be a fairy tale or a porn.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “" So, the lesson there is if you steal, you better be ready to murder, too.”
  - “What woodsman? Ha-ha! You know, I'm not sure if that's our hero or just a lunatic going house to house murdering people.”
  - “I smell the blood of an English man.”
  - “Or are you worried about what happened to that family down the street? Those three guys broke in, beat up the father with a croquet mallet, and then stole the baby, and nobody knows where the baby is now?”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “They're all kind of bitches.”
  - “Oh, my God! I want that bitch Snow White to just admit she had an abortion.”
  - “What the hell are we supposed to do with these anyway? I knew you'd be mad, so I've asked the band Heart to explain these beans in a way you can dreamily digest.”
  - “I know she's gone, but can you do the other one? What about beans? Don't you want someone to care about you? "Mary Davis gives birth to lamb?" Holy crap!”
  - “Hey, where the hell'd that thing come from? It's blocking my view of Little Miss Muffet's tuffet.”
  - “Ooh, isn't my tuffet soft and pink and wonderful? Ah, damn it! I need to see that so I can make curds and whey.”
  - “Aah, damn it! Thank you! I say, who the devil are you? Go away! Aw, I-I'm sorry.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, if you could spin straw into gold or-or maybe meth, I wouldn't need a job.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “About what? Well, she was my ex-girlfriend, and I believed I was due an explanation about why she was such a whore.”

## S12 E11 — Brian's a Bad Father
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1211.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Brian's neglected son Dylan shows up in town as a teen TV star, Brian jumps at the opportunity to be hired on the show's writing staff - instead of being a good father. Meanwhile, after Peter accidentally shoots Quagmire on a hunting trip, the two friends clash and Joe must choose a side.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Get out! He was masturbating with a knife.”
  - “Tell my assistant I fell asleep with a condom on again, and to bring scissors to my trailer.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'll tell you anything you want, just get your boob out of my face! You know the difference between you and me, dirtbag? No matter how muscular I get, I will never be muscular.”
  - “Devlin? Try skinny-dipping with her like when you were kids.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “Nothing got settled! You shot him! I'm the one who has to shoot him! Wait a second.”
  - “Okay, 'cause your gun is pointing right at me.”
  - “Now this is a gun without a safety.”
  - “Get out! He was masturbating with a knife.”
  - “Peter, put that knife down.”
  - “Again with this? Yesterday, you had Dakota give herself an abdomen-punch abortion during her volleyball tournament.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Quite the difference, huh? Damn it, Peter, you son of a bitch! You shot me! Oh, my God, Peter! That might be the dumbest thing you've ever done.”
  - “What's up now, bitches?! We now return to Saving Private Ryan, brought to you without commercial interruption by Mazda.”
  - “…do the decent thing, like you'd see in a movie! I'm putting that bullet in your arm, Peter! Ah! Son of a bitch!”
  - “Damn it, Peter, just give it back.”
  - “Where the hell do you get off betting my CD in a poker game? I don't think I like your tone.”
  - “Damn it, Peter, that's it! I am done! I'm done with you! I'm done with all your crap! I never want to speak to you again! This friendship is over! Well, fine! I don't need your friendship! I got other friends.”
  - “Jerome, can you tell that to get the hell out of here before I kick him in the face? Peter, why don't you just sit in that booth over there? Oh, man, that's where the after-work secretaries sit.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, that dog o' mine! That's Mike Drunkbeater.”
  - “Brian, do you know where What the hell are you drinking? Is that Rite Aid- brand whiskey? Stewie, I just feel so awful about what happened with Dylan.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Lois, why did you buy this?! It was on sale! A writer who inherits a magic typewriter that writes for him, but then it turns out the typewriter is racist? Totally makes sense.”

## S12 E12 — Mom's the Word
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1212.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Peter's mother passes away, he forms a special friendship with her longtime pal, Evelyn, who attempts to seduce Peter. Meanwhile, Stewie is distraught when he understands the reality of death for the first time.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Now the red one is sleeping with the green one.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm going to take my own life.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “And the yellow one is just a total bitch.”
  - “Is anyone else here watching Revolution and wanting to talk about it after this? No! No! No! No! I'm not caught up! I'm not caught up! Lotta white socks with dress shoes in this bitch.”
  - “Oh, yeah-- he's, like, a well-known dick.”
  - “What are you still doing awake? Changing the oil in my car! What the hell do you think I'm doing?! Sorry, I stole that from the Italian family next door.”
  - “Yeah, I just remembered, I gotta get the hell out of here.”
  - “Oh, damn, I wanted to die, not turn into Toaster Man.”

## S12 E13 — 3 Acts of God
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1213.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “They're gonna put their cigarettes in their mouths and bump boobs.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “And then the strip club.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “When two drunk guys, each holding a baby, get into a fistfight.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You got no class, you bitch! No, you got no class! And now here comes security to kick out the wrong person.”
  - “Damn it, I'm so angry the stupid Pats lost.”
  - “What the hell?! This is such bull crap! Well, what are you talking about? Isn't it obvious? God hates the Patriots.”
  - “We got to do something about it! Like what? We got to find God and tell him to cut the crap.”
  - “Now, what do you say? Let's go find God! All right, I'm in! Me, too! Let's do this! Whoa, whoa, Joe, Joe! What the hell?! What? I thought, uh, "Find God" was a code word.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “I don't know where they're getting all this weed.”
  - “beer in an unbrushed mouth.”
  - “Lois, I know how many beers I can drink and still be able to drive.”
  - “Uh, yes, telegram for hungover.”
  - “…tips at each meal, right? Look, look, God, why why you got to hurt Patriots fans? These are good, drunk people who work hard to get absolutely nowhere in life.”

## S12 E14 — Fresh Heir
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1214.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Chris learns that he is the heir to Carter's fortune - but refuses to take the money - Peter takes drastic measures to keep the wealth in the family.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “And the worst part about it, is I can't have sex.”
  - “Miley Cyrus had sex with a foam finger at, like, 6:00 p.”
  - “And besides, there's plenty of people who are married and don't have sex.”
  - “Can I put them near the couple that hooked up drunk and now have to make awkward small talk until their cab to the airport arrives? Sure.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “So now you know my complete sexual history, Chris.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's the hot chick! Where are her boobs? Flat with a decent face was the best we could hope for back then.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Um well, you know Poor Green Whale Guns Books? You are such a fraud.”
  - “You don't want to jump the gun.”
  - “Last time I was at Grandpa's, I beat him at checkers and he punched one of my hogans.”

## S12 E15 — Secondhand Spoke
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1215.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Eh, what do you care? It's not like you have to look at my face when we have sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “You frequently opt out of swim class because of your gross microcephalic penis.”
  - “Your boobs are bigger than your sister's.”
  - “She didn't wear a bra to school today.”
  - “Griffin! You look terrible! Thanks, man named Sandy! Oh, hey, uh, you know, I don't know if you're the guy to talk to about this, but when I went to my trailer this morning, there was a hairy naked guy in it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “More wine! More women! More table! I'm having a heart attack! Is anyone at the table a doctor? I am! Come here! Hurry! Run! "But the very far-away doctor couldn't make it in time.”
  - “I guess we should go to the Stop Smoking Clinic and then maybe get a couple bottles of wine.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, fat ass.”

## S12 E16 — Herpe the Love Sore
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1216.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I heard about what happened at the Clam, and I'm not interested in having sex with a quarter of a man.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know, my uncle was in the Army, and he got genital boppo from a Saigon whore Shut up! Just shut up! You should be ashamed of yourself.”
  - “Can you help her fold? No, but you know what? You put on her bra.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Ew! What's Clint Eastwood doing with that Indian chief? Oh, they're-they're just becoming blood brothers.”
  - “"Blood brothers"? What the devil is that? Well, it's an ancient ritual where two friends intermingle their blood, thus sealing a bond even deeper than friendship.”
  - “Is that my whip? Hey! Is that my Taser? All right, I'll just strangle him with this Hawaiian shirt.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “So, what are you gonna do about it, bitch? Look, dudes, clearly you don't want to move.”
  - “Will you stop going through my mail?! All right, bitches, either you tuck your little wangs between your legs and waddle out of here or we're gonna beat the crap out of you.”
  - “What the hell? Ow! Ew! What's this? You son of a bitch!”
  - “What? I said Huh? All I can see is What? You can't see what? I can only see What? Damn it, Peter! Ow! Joe, what are you trying to say?! Eh, it doesn't matter.”
  - “That bastard! Well, we need to teach him a lesson.”
  - “Peter, what the hell is going on? Please tell me this isn't still about how you punked out in front of those guys at the Clam.”
  - “Damn it, you guys! Her dad's really rich! Wow, you weren't kidding.”
  - “Hey, you bums! If you bastards want our booth, you got to go through us to get it.”
  - “Hell, I witnessed every significant historical event in my lifetime right here! I was in this booth when the Challenger exploded.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “I just want to thank you for helping me reach a state of cocaine-fueled Robert Mapplethorpe?”
  - “Oh, man, I could use a cold beer.”
  - “I heard what happened to you at The Drunken Clam.”
  - “Hey, let's go grab some good beer even though we brought the bad beer.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're a gross slut.”
  - “You know, my uncle was in the Army, and he got genital boppo from a Saigon whore Shut up! Just shut up! You should be ashamed of yourself.”

## S12 E17 — The Most Interesting Man in the World
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1217.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “He did a great job with the vagina.”
  - “Honey? My inside left boob stomach did that thing again.”
  - “Now, here is a naked chick made completely out of marble.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know what's weird? Shubha Prabhatam is my porn name.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Uh, Lois, I had an affair, and I think we should talk about it! Peter, jamming yourself into a grapefruit is not an affair.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You you're the dick who wrote that in the bathroom! Indeed.”
  - “Spotted dick.”
  - “That sounds great! Jim, are you showering with the dog again? What the hell?! All right, Peter, I'm leaving.”
  - “Damn, I wish I could go to the Clam.”
  - “Oh, I was quite sure it was just one from the size of the car! Hello? Peter, where the hell are you? You got to get down to the Clam, man.”
  - “Why? Damn it! Lois called me an idiot.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I was seven when he first came home drunk.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Homo erectus.”

## S12 E18 — Baby Got Black
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1218.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Chris begins to date Jerome's daughter, Pam, Jerome forbids it. But when Chris and Pam run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find their kids.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Did you walk around naked after you had sex? What? No.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I already gave Chris the sex talk.”
  - “We're cruising around town looking for a sexually active You have any idea how fast you were going? I was going the speed limit, Officer.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “These on her nipples.”
  - “There's a naked lady squatting over a cake in your kitchen.”
  - “So what do people do in motels? They get naked.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “…Bad And all the songs by Creed All the cast of Friends And trash like Tara Reid A virtual world of porn so you can spill your seed Ray-Ban glasses Leggy blondes with tiny asses Frisbee sports and fancy coffee…”
  - “Okay, but all I know about sex is from Internet porn, so I'm very excited to try buffering.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “And there's a little bit of blood in my ear.”
  - “What's up, blood? Nobody's dating nobody.”
  - “Even Maverick from Top Gun.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “You know, Chris, Usher categorizes his girls into two groups: bitches he's with and bitches he's gonna get with.”
  - “Yeah! Let's do this! You in, Peter? Oh, hell yeah, I'm in! You guys don't know nothing about staying up late.”
  - “Damn it, Joe.”
  - “What? Aw, damn it.”
  - “Griffin! Where the hell is my daughter? She left me a note saying she ran off with Chris.”
  - “I'm a 42-year-old man, I own a business, I pay my taxes, and yet I got to deal with this crap every time I step outside my house.”
- Racism & slurs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You're a racist.”
  - “Black people can't be racist.”
  - “Black racism is the biggest problem facing this country today.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Now, do you prefer "Fatty" or "Miss Boom-Bi-Latty?" So, you don't mind that Pam is black? Chris, it's 1998.”

## S12 E19 — Meg Stinks!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1219.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “You really think Meg is college material, Principal Shepherd? Yeah, she's a solid B student and that's quite an accomplishment, considering none of her teachers are willing to sleep with her.”
  - “I don't know, it's just, I was dating your mother, I don't like the way condoms feel, next thing you know, I got a mortgage, a kid, and a crappy job at a toy factory.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I caught a bird! Yes! Fear me! Aah! Aah! I feel so alive! I feel like a dude who just touched his first vagina.”
  - “Hey! Keep it down! I'm trying to get some sleep up here! Show us your boobs! My boobs? Wait, I-I don't think I Oh, my! Jewelry! The rules of this city are very unclear.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “You look like one of them beautiful, troubled Scandinavian youths I've seen on the porn sites.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “He's murdering a lady.”
  - “Some kid we beat up.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Stop crying, you bitch! I got to get Brian back in the house.”
  - “This is a robbery! Everybody get on the ground! If this bitch moves, shoot him in the eye!”
  - “Who the hell knocked over the garbage ca-- Whoa.”
  - “…It's like a burning tire dump right in my nose! Brian, why are you doing this?! We're sorry! Ah! You bastard!”
  - “Christopher, are you ready to go to the Guttenschvartzen? Hell, da! She can swim across the pool in two strokes.”
  - “Damn it, I just gave away my hiding place for meatball subs! I-I'll tell you where there definitely aren't any meatball subs-- the side pocket of my golf bag.”
  - “Aw, I'm not afraid! Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! Damn it! I told my sister this wasn't a good weekend.”
  - “Holy crap, I'm so much faster on all fours! What's that big rock doing there? Now, go on, get out of here, you little bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm Drunky! The Dakota University mascot! Look how drunk I am! This is important for sports! Oh, look, you can go to Oral Roberts.”

## S12 E20 — He's Bla-ack!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1220.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Great Quagini! Hey-ey, everybody! There's the birthday girl! Oh, oh, what's that behind your ear? Oh, it's a condom! Quagmire, please stop touching my baby with a condom.”
  - “Well, you know how I don't ever brag about my sexual exploits.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It looked like a big, purple penis and your ratings blew.”
  - “What? Why? It's to get our wives back together! Peter, these are hundreds of naked babies in suggestive situations!”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “You were with Cleveland, weren't you? No! Then what were you doing? I'm, uh I'm having an affair.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Peter, there's got to be a better way He's got a knife! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Sorry, Cleveland, it's got to be authentic.”
  - “Ow! Ow! Stay down! Stay down! Cleveland, try to grab my gun.”
  - “Oh, trying to grab my gun, are you? Ow! Ow! Hey, rookie, save some for me.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Stewie! You get down from there this instant! Munch me, bitch! Right now, Stewie, or you're in time-out! How many gray pubes you pluck today, you old bag? Your time-outs are a joke.”
  - “And Cleveland, I forbid you from ever talking to Peter again! Hey, Lois, look! I'm smoking! You can't control dick! I'm a roof baby now! So we're making plans for Susie's first birthday party.”
  - “This particular eagle is a dick.”
  - “What the hell is that?! Nail polish.”
  - “How the hell did? Yeah.”
  - “Shut up, you bastards! I really appreciate y'all helpin' me fix up my house.”
  - “Oh, you're full of crap, Brian.”
  - “Damn it! You know, Cleveland, I got to say, it's great having the old gang back together again.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “A few months back, I got really drunk and was playing around with an elastic band.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “That sounds even more racist than it is.”

## S12 E21 — Chap Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1221.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie's TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois, so he's never conceived. But instead, he is reborn into a "Downton Abbey"-esque British household.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stop explaining it to the dog! Let's do this! Stop it! I'm trying to watch my program! Whoa, Chris, look! Mom's naked! Where? You creep.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Lois, what the hell did you do?! I just got a note from Goodwill thanking me for donating all my porn.”
  - “Stewart! What are you doing? All right, Rupert, I left the fat man's entire porn collection on the curb for Goodwill to pick up.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like a guy who cheats on his right hand with his left hand.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “So stick around, or I'll come to your house and murder you! I wonder what else is different.”
  - “What the hell? I don't even get a stuffed animal to hug? The only thing in this crib is a 19th-century dueling pistol.”
  - “I'm choking on my own blood! Call someone! Please! Well, again, it was great knowing you.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “They're all just Oh, you dick, you just came in to charge your phone.”
  - “What the hell is Unga Bunga? Two guys run at each other with mattresses, and, um th-that's kind of it.”
  - “What the hell? You rebuilt your time machine? I thought you swore off time travel, 'cause you couldn't stop yourself from altering the past.”
  - “Piss off, you little wanker.”
  - “Ah! Damn it! Help me, Stewie! Lift it off! Eh, that looks really heavy.”
  - “Ah! You bastard! You'll burn in hell Ugh, finally.”
  - “Aw, damn it.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, he had a public access show? Live from the shores of Rhode Island, it's the fatty who drives you batty! Peter Griffin! Hey, hey, hey, douche bags! We got a great show for you tonight.”

## S13 E1 — 1. The Simpsons Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1301.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In "The Simpsons Guy" episode of FAMILY GUY, Peter and the Griffins get out of dodge and end up in Springfield, where they are greeted by a friendly stranger named Homer Simpson, who welcomes his new "albino" friends with open arms. The families get along famously: Stewie and Bart make out like bandits when Stewie trades in his mind control device for a good old-fashioned slingshot; Lisa takes Meg under her wing and teaches her the saxophone; and Peter and Homer fight over the best beer in town - Pawtucket vs Duff
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “You strangle your son? That's insane! No wonder he's fat and stupid and masturbates all the time.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You like sex? Eh.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Damn it! And remember, kids, TV violence is fine as long as you don't show a nipple.”
  - “Yeah, I got a whole subreddit of superhero thong shots.”
  - “Can we get some food?! Lois, whip out your boob, give the boy his lunch.”
  - “And, hey, next time you stay with a family, maybe you can wear a bra some of the time.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “I bet I can name more porn stars than you.”
  - “But-but don't tell my wife how many porn stars I know.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “And thank you for not being a band of hippie murderers.”
  - “You bring home two bands of hippie murderers, and suddenly, that's all you're about.”
  - “Nice day, isn't it? A nice day for stabbing a friend in the back.”
  - “Oh Is that why there was blood in my stool? No.”
  - “My dad once gave me a gun to hide.”
  - “I usually just beat up a cat.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Bart, if we don't keep in touch, I'll kill myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Here's your beer, Peter.”
  - “Why, I just figured, at home I sit with the family, so I assumed that Have you ever drunk out of a toilet? I-I don't see what that has to do with the discussion.”
  - “Oh, my God, you get to work with beer?! Wow! What's beer really like? Eh, he's got a big head.”
  - “If you ask me, neither of these beers is wholly original.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “But you're different from them, aren't you? Because they're rail-thin, and you're fat.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Love is like a bomb, baby, come on, get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?”

## S13 E2 — 2. The Book of Joe
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1302.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter helps Joe realize his dream of publishing a book, but things get out of hand when Peter takes over as the author. Meanwhile, Brian starts exercising to the extreme after experiencing a euphoric runner's high for the first time.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “A marathon? But-but what if that sexy boy has another bomb? Yeah, are you sure you can finish a marathon? I'm not worried, Meg.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Brian, this is your penis.”
  - “I'm hanging out with your penis and your heart.”
  - “Hey, grab me some more Band-Aids, will you? I got, like, eight more nipples to cover up before my run.”
  - “Did you really take his book away from him? Did you just poop and then get into bed without underwear on? That book really meant a lot to Joe.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “"'What's a hooker?' asked the bunny, who was gay.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I have a gun"? Oh, wait, I think I messed something up.”
- Swearing — 11 moment(s)
  - “Do you remember that phase when you thought you were a pointer dog? Was someone wearing my new high heels? You dick.”
  - “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hot moms who are married but looking David Chicago! Hey, how many of y'all bitches like to read? "Chapter One.”
  - “"On top of that, some son of a bitch killed his brother.”
  - “Runners, take your marks! Oh, son of a bitch! Ow, my leg! Help me, somebody! Brian, why does everything you touch turn to garbage? Peter.”
  - “Well, how come you didn't just write it under Joe S Steenburj You know, your real name? I wanted to avoid catching crap down at the police station.”
  - “What the hell do you think you're doing? Stop.”
  - “Well, maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to! Shut up! This is free! You know why it's free? 'Cause it sucks! Quagmire? I think it might be time to leave.”
  - “Ah, crap, this is Joe's dream.”
  - “Leave me alone! Go back to hell! Gene, is everything all right? It's fine, Joanne.”
  - “Scotty, we need more speed! I'm giving her all she's got, Captain! She can't take any more! Damn.”
  - “And how 'bout he got a frog friend that's got some sort of catchphrase? Like, if he's seeing something kooky, he could be like, "Damn, that's cray-cray in a good way, right there!" Wow.”

## S13 E3 — 3. Baking Bad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1303.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois and Peter go into business together and open a cookie store, but things get messy when Peter comes up with his own way to get more customers.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “We're doing a masturbation intervention.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Oh, let's do it! All right! Now, let's turn up the TV real loud so the kids can't hear us having sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs.”
  - “And if you get nervous, just do what I always do, picture your audience naked.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Peter, you turned our store into a strip club.”
  - “It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Get out of here! This blood's not for you! Aw Oh, look, an empty tire with some water in it.”
  - “I'm gonna go ahead and thank you for donating blood today.”
  - “I mean, I've seen that guy get punched in the face a thousand times, and now he's making science stuff.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You, get in here! Sucker! Son of a bitch! Lois! Lois! Mommy! Stewie, what's going on? You should be asleep by now.”
  - “Can you? Gum! What the hell is going on?! I don't know what to do, you guys.”
  - “My God, what does it take to get people to buy a damn cookie? Peter, let me tell you something.”
  - “What the hell? Peter, what did you do? I saved our business.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stewie, you're drunk.”

## S13 E4 — 4. Brian the Closer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1304.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Brian undergoes cosmetic surgery he is faced with a new career---real-estate agent---which leads to trouble with Quagmire.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Where you from You sexy thing Sexy thing, you.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “That is the best cosmetic surgery in this family since Lois got her boob job.”
  - “What are the specs? She's a two breast, one ass fixer-upper.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Now, I am obligated to disclose that the previous owners were murdered in this house.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “What's that movie called? Dick? Dick would slide right into that Glory hole.”
  - “No, no, Dick's too short for that Glory hole.”
  - “Now get the hell out of the bar, you pathetic son of a bitch.”
  - “That son of a bitch! Say what you want, but he's got an eye for real estate.”
  - “The hell am I sitting on? Oh, hey, that's my old rope toy.”
  - “Damn it, Peter.”
  - “You know, the one that Which one does the sound? That Aw, crap, you know which one I mean.”
  - “You know what? Go to hell, Peter! Wow, this is the craziest meal I've had since I had lunch at Tommy Sullivan's house.”
  - “Well, we got this crap condo down by the marina.”

## S13 E5 — 5. Turkey Guys
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1305.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On Thanksgiving eve, a drunken and ravenous Peter and Brian wolf down the holiday turkey, and then must go on hunt to find a replacement bird. With Peter gone, Chris decides to step up and take over as man of the house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “This'll quickly turn into rough, front-yard, makeup sex.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! How could you do that to me? You're a dog, Brian.”
  - “The poor thing is Aah! Aah! What the hell?! Knock it off! Ow! Damn it, I'm gonna kill you, you dick! Quick, Brian, it's getting away! Where'd he go? He's not in here.”
  - “Peter, get in here! You want to tell me what the hell happened to our Thanksgiving turkey? Oh, that.”
  - “Aw, crap-- looks like they're completely sold out.”
  - “See? Oh, my God! Not now! Not like this! Peter, what the hell?! You chose a turkey over me?! I almost died! I swear to God, I thought dogs could breathe underwater.”
  - “Damn it, Peter! That was our only way home! Well, that's where you're wrong, Brian.”
  - “Free bus bike! Aw, crap, this is a girl's bike.”
  - “Oh! Ow! Damn it, Peter! Oh, great.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Uh, well, last night, Brian and I got drunk and ate the turkey.”
  - “Damn it, how could you guys do that?! Boy, I must have been really drunk.”
  - “Uh, Mom! Daddy! You're right on time! Happy Thanksgiving, dear! We brought some wine, but it's good wine so it's just or us.”

## S13 E6 — 6. The 2000-Year-Old Virgin
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1306.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter is stunned to run into Jesus at the mall, and even more stunned to discover that he is still a virgin, so Peter recruits Quagmire and Cleveland to celebrate Jesus' birthday by finding a way to end his celibacy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 12 moment(s)
  - “Horny ones who sex on you.”
  - “Jesus, have you ever been with a woman? Are you are you a virgin? Yeah, I am.”
  - “What do you mean? I'm saying, Jesus, we are gonna help you lose your virginity.”
  - “God, I love sex! All right, me and the guys are off to help Jesus lose his virginity.”
  - “You want me to have sex with another man? Oh, not just any man, Lois.”
  - “Why? What's wrong with our marriage? "What's wrong with our marriage?" You're sitting around, talking about sleeping with other guys! Peter, this was your idea! Lois, let's not play the blame game.”
  - “Sleeping with Jesus just feels wrong.”
  - “Hey, do you think if I let Jesus sleep with Bonnie, he'd give me back the use of my legs? Joe, I don't speak for Jesus.”
  - “Listen, pal, Jesus ain't no virgin.”
  - “Damn it! Get out! I need this car! What are you, a cop? No! Jesus is about to have sex with my wife!”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “She's all like, "Oh, there's all these guys having sex with me for money.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “All right, guys, here's what I'm thinking-- a whole festival of muddy boobs.”
  - “That's a good way to get those muddy boobs moving.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “How the hell does that happen? Well, in high school, my best friend was this hot prostitute, and I just kind of got into the friend zone.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Clearly, there's been a lot of cheating on both sides, but the point is where do we go from here? Huh, I don't know.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I even forgave the man who murdered my son.”
  - “That's my blood, you know.”
  - “Yeah, I like to pretend it's mine down there what's doing all the slapping.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “A-Are you okay with someone who wanders the desert, lecturing people on how to act? So, are you having a good Friday? Oh, is that supposed to be funny? Shut your mouth, bitch.”
  - “Lois! Lois! You son of a bitch! What have you done to my marriage?! Peter? Lois, don't do this! I think I had, like, a Christmas miracle.”
  - “What the hell? But he's so lonely.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you come over to my place for a beer or something? Aw, that sounds great! Hey, you want me to pick anything up on the way over or no, you're good? Oh, uh I-I guess we could maybe just order something.”
  - “How's the wine? It's terrific.”
  - “He put actual strawberries in a glass of champagne, which was about the classiest, sexiest thing I'd ever seen.”
- Slut-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, and I'm gonna dress like a slut and be rude to everyone for no reason.”
  - “Just some random slut to maul in a bar back where the payphones used to be.”
  - “Aw, crap! I just pulled a thousand muscles! Ow! That was a loud crack! Ah, yeah, that was all bone! Oh! Aw! Son of a whore! Oh, this is bad.”

## S13 E7 — 7. Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1307.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To help Chris ace his ninth grade history class, Stewie and Brian employ the time travel machine for educational purposes. Not surprisingly, all three get stuck in the past.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Was that a sex joke? It's I don't know, shut up.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I did-- he wasn't in the Turkish bath, the veranda café or the Bloody Handkerchief Ball.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “You dick! How much of my stuff have you taken credit for?! Hey, everybody? Just so you know, I'm straight.”
  - “Hey, Pavlov, you dog-teasing-dick! How's this for positive reinforcement?! All right, where to next? I want to kill more scientists! All right, Chris, that was the British Parliament, 1912.”
  - “Get out of my way, you son of a bitch! Oh, no! I can't swim without my striped one-piece! Everyone move over.”
  - “Oh, crap, I left my phone in there.”
  - “Damn it, it's nailed shut.”
  - “I mean, God, if only we could get rid of these damn arms and attach the pen directly to the heart, right? You guys, I got his pen! Now, Chris, this is Brazil before the invention of the soccer ball.”
  - “I don't know what the hell we're going to do.”
  - “Hey, Stewie! If I'm such a moron, then how did I get on a fancy boat?! See you later, douche bags! Oh, crap! Chris is on the Titanic?! No, no, it's okay, Brian.”
  - “Excuse me, have any of you seen a blond teenage boy? Who's asking? Yeah, who the hell are you? And I'm the baby! Chris? What the hell? Stewie, what are you doing? Uh, dining at the captain's table.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “For example, did you know that Jesus didn't really die on the cross? So, what was the cause of death? Cocaine and severe trauma to the colon.”
  - “Hemingway, can I have a beer with you? Sure! I love life and all the people in it! Thanks.”
  - “Bunch of drunk, fat, pie-faced Irish fools.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “And who are we? I don't know, you're just two sluts with me.”

## S13 E8 — 8. Our Idiot Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1308.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg convinces Brian to take the SAT's for her, but when he tests poorly, they start to suspect that Brian might not that smart after all. Peter decides to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “We didn't land on Plymouth Rock! Yeah! Plymouth Rock gave us both sets of genitals! - Yeah! - What? Mail's here.”
  - “We now return to another Michael Jordan underwear commercial on a plane for some reason.”
  - “Does your underwear have tags? Uh, what? Uh, Mr.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I discovered my wife's been cheating on me for a while.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “"The weight of the gun in Jason's hand surprised him.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “After all, I used to work the suicide hotline.”
  - “I have to kill myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Here, you want a beer? Peter, it's 11:00 a.”

## S13 E9 — 9. This Little Piggy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1309.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Meg is thrilled to be recruited as a model, but it turns out to be for a very specific type of modeling: the foot-fetish industry. Meanwhile, Brian accompanies Stewie on an open-road adventure when Stewie decides he wants to experience life outside of preschool.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “And it's made me incredibly horny.”
  - “Ah! What's happening?! Is is this is this foreplay? She's dead.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Wait, Ben-- are they all of my feet? Well, Meg, the thing is-- my name's Evan, by the way-- a lot of people will pay good money for pictures of sexy feet.”
  - “" Stewie, there's a lot of sex and drugs at these things.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Also, I loaned you $40 for that Lumineers T-shirt, and you said you'd pay me back, so I'm gonna take your bra.”
  - “Let's go trade this bra for a couple of Gatorades.”
  - “I saw that teacher at the concert with her boob out.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “Foot-fetish porn sites are a huge business.”
  - “It's porn-- I never thought I'd do porn.”
  - “Peter, our little girl is doing pornography! We got to stop her! What the hell? There's an animated version of you and me doing it.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “We have a tranq gun if he gets rough.”
  - “" I want to put 'em both in my mouth and then make a slapping sound on my bald head with 'em.”
  - “Like Boppo, the inflatable punching clown.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I think she had a drug overdose.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “And cocaine.”
  - “And as for you, Tin Man, a 19-year-old kid in Cincinnati was struck by a drunk driver last night.”

## S13 E10 — Quagmire's Mom
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1310.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois takes Peter to open a checking account, and they discover that his first name is actually Justin, which Peter adopts as the name of his younger "bro"-style alter-ego. Then, Peter/Justin throws a party, during which Quagmire unknowingly gets into some trouble with his mother .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 8 moment(s)
  - “Did you have sex with this underage girl? I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.”
  - “I can't believe Quagmire and that girl had sex.”
  - “Well, it's when you urinate in a condom, and tie it off, freeze it, and then the woman, um, pretends it's a man.”
  - “Oh, that's wonderful! How do you feel? Horny.”
  - “Really horny.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I am here to inform you that I am a sex offender.”
  - “My misguided carnal instincts are the result of being raised by a sexual deviant.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “What can I do for you? Yes, I was wondering, where is the room where I can roll around nude with my money? I'm sorry? No, I'm sorry.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Quagmire, I'll give you 24 hours to get your affairs in order.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “(gun fires) I owe you, Max.”
  - “And as we know, according to Game of Thrones, if the girl has had her blood, she is good to go.”
  - “Has the girl had her blood? Answer the question.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “That "little bastard" knows how to smoke pot out of an apple.”

## S13 E11 — Encyclopedia Griffin
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1311.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland form a neighborhood detective agency, and are stunned to discover that Chris is a thief. Meanwhile, Lois is worried about Chris' delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, but also sees it as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris' romantic gestures.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “It's a Katherine Heigl mask for you to wear while we have sex.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What the hell?! Chris made a sex doll?! Your kid's got a walk-in closet? Two of mine gotta sleep in the car.”
  - “So we're gonna go inside and get some sexy shots of you doing fireman stuff.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “God, I look huge in that bed, don't I? You think other guys hang out and watch their friend's naked gyrating butt? It's been so long, I don't know what other friends do.”
  - “Oh, boy, is this 'cause of the time I pushed off of you after sex and bruised your boob? No, I-I mean, when was the last time you bought me flowers, or-or we had a date night? We do stuff.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “It looks like you stabbed her.”
  - “Well, I'm hot blooded Check it and see I got a fever of 103 Come on, baby Do you do more than dance? I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded You don't have to read my mind Look, Heather.”
  - “What's that? Give me that knife.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “"Dicks for Kids"? "Dicks for Kids.”
  - “Okay, "Big Dicks For Kids.”
  - “Holy crap, it's a setup.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'll just have four to five beers to stop the shaking, and then I'll go outside.”
  - “Will you hold this beer bottle while I try to kick the top off it? Ow! Damn it! You moved it.”

## S13 E12 — Stewie Is Enceinte
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1312.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian decides he doesn't want to hang out with Stewie anymore, so Stewie tries to save their relationship by having a baby... or seven... by using Brian's DNA to impregnate himself. Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland attempt to make a viral video.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, you're serious! People are gonna think I had sex with a male baby and then got him pregnant! Oh, thank you for finding a way to make it sound horrible.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What else? Uh he has dark hair I don't know, was he in Black Hawk Down? Uh, he was in, like, at least five Sex "in" the Citys.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Your vagina seems to have a penis and two testicles.”
  - “You can't see my nipples, can you? They're getting really large, and I'm not sure if I'm completely covering them.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, you watch me, bitch.”
  - “Aw, Dick really likes you.”
  - “I like Dick.”
  - “So I guess we're both klutzes, huh? Why don't you spin another tale, crap-tooth? No? My turn again? Okay.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? I saw a scary boy doing this, and I thought I'd try it.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I will not! Our child is growing inside me! Stop talking like that! A-And how do you even know it's mine? How dare you! So I'm just some slut?!”

## S13 E13 — Dr. C and the Women
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1313.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “" Wow, look at the new girl! She's so hot! Yeah, her breasts and her stomach are different parts of her body! I think she looks weird.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “What are you talking about? Well, remember how Cleveland banged that stripper at his bachelor party? Oh, yeah! And we were all throwing bread at 'em? Yeah.”
  - “Look, if you don't change what you're saying, we're gonna tell Donna you slept with that stripper at your bachelor party.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “And the nurse told me there's blood in my stool.”
  - “I couldn't be sure, but I-I think the man has a knife! Are there any steps leading to that alley or is it just a series of gentle ramps? Okay, guys, Lois wants me to find Cleveland.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Oh, that's it! I will cut you, bitch.”
  - “…do * * All the things that make us * * Laugh and cry * * He's a Fam ily Guy! * Hey! Are you a big, fat bastard who loves eating at Outback Steakhouse, but thinks the portions are too small?”
  - “I was damn near out of tweed.”
  - “Where in the hell did you get the idea that that's what I meant by "doing the dishes"? From Dirty Amelia Bedelia.”
  - “What? What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to be my friend.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “But what we could really use is some weed.”
  - “Griffin, did you or did you not distribute alcohol and marijuana to minors? No, Your Honor, I did not.”
  - “Hey, can you buy us some beer? I don't know, I don't think it'd be right.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Son of a whore! Give me some milk! Okay, that helped.”

## S13 E14 — #jolo
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1314.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter becomes a town hero for accidentally finding a missing boy. Meanwhile, Joe decides to live life to the fullest by quitting his job and taking a road trip to Niagara Falls with Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, that is the last time I drink and masturbate on top of a high wall.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I can't remember the last time Joe shot his gun.”
  - “It's the gun that no-leg sprinter used to kill his girlfriend.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, Joe killed himself! It's so weird that he argued over the price of breakfast this morning.”
  - “But somehow, as soon as I decided to kill myself, I actually felt free.”
  - “Yeah, then you'd be the tenth friend who's killed himself in front of me.”
  - “You know, I spent the whole time trying to kill myself, but it took seeing you guys almost die to realize that life really is worth living.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Do you think Andy Dick is happy? I couldn't imagine, no.”
  - “What? You want to tip over some cows? Hell yeah! This is gonna be so boss.”
  - “What? Who-who's there? Joe, what the hell are you doing? I went to a high school kegger party.”
  - “Holy crap, it's beautiful.”
  - “It makes no sense! Damn it! Joe? Joe, you're alive! Are you hurt? I'm not sure.”
  - “Oh, crap, I'm losing my grip! You buy your jeans at Wal-Mart? No, somebody who lost theirs at the church did.”
  - “I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world Come on, Barbie, let's go party! Peter, damn it, no! Wait, wait, we got to remember the other one.”

## S13 E15 — Once Bitten
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1315.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After attending obedience school, Brian becomes much more submissive, and Peter realizes he misses his old, feistier pal. Meanwhile, Chris makes a new friend at school, but feels betrayed when he discovers it was all a ploy to get closer to Meg.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Horny on a big boat Horny on a big boat! I'm very sick from lobster.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “So you did commit the murder? Uh-huh.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I mean, what if he bit Stewie? How about you bite me, bitch? Wait a minute.”
  - “Get over here, you idiot! Peter! What the hell?”
  - “What the hell? Again? Thanks for doing my book report, Neil.”
  - “I just want to piss a couple of guys off.”
  - “You used me just so you could date my sister! Oh, my God! Chris?! I'm so sorry! Oh, what have I done?! Aw, crap.”
  - “Ah, damn it! What the hell, Peter?! Oh, my God.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.”
  - “This is 'cause I'm drunk!”

## S13 E16 — Roasted Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1316.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter befriends a group of mean girls after his feelings are hurt when his so-called friends decide to "roast" him. Lois, all too familiar with the gossipy nature of women, tells Peter they are probably talking about him behind his back, and Peter soon discovers that Lois may be right.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “We were just debating if Jamie should hook up with this guy she met a few nights ago.”
  - “Wait, i-is that the same Number Six that had sex with Dr.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Roasted! You know, as Lois's father, I hate the thought of her having sex with Peter.”
  - “Hey, we should make out.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Peter's got a small penis, but, hey, nothing grows in the shade.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! Somebody stabbed the groom! Oh, no, it's not a perfect day.”
  - “And you fellas shouldn't pull any punches.”
  - “Because men might punch you in the gut and call you a fat idiot, but at least they do it to your face and own it.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “On account of my buddies all being nasty sons of bitches, I've decided I'm gonna find new friends.”
  - “Hey, man, just a heads-up: instead of howling at the moon tonight, we're all gonna yell "cock-a-doodle-doo!" Really? That seems weird.”
  - “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”
  - “You and I will get revenge on those bitches lady-style.”
  - “You could be a black guy if your ding-a-ling wasn't so damn tiny.”
  - “Screw all you guys! I hope you all eat turds and die! None of you bastards are my friends no more! Brian was the worst one.”
  - “Wh-What the hell? Did I just say that? You sure did.”
  - “What the hell? Peter, can I speak with you for a second? Oh, hang on, guys, I got to talk to my dog.”
  - “Peter, of course your new friends have been talking crap about me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “You know, Peter's challenging the stereotype of Irish guys being fat, drunk and stupid by throwing "a little gay" in there, too.”
  - “And so do I! Damn it, Lois, you stepped on my punch line! Shut up! You're drunk! Stop serving her! I asked Peter what he got on his S.”
  - “I don't want to have a baby! Hey, isn't it funny that you guys came over for a dinner party, and all we're doing is standing in the kitchen, drinking wine?”
  - “Peter gave me a beer that tasted funny, and when I woke up, I was wearing lipstick and a wolf suit.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “" Peter's so fat and stupid, Lamar Odom tried to bang him.”

## S13 E17 — Fighting Irish
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1317.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter claims he would beat Liam Neeson in a fight, but when he is put to the test, he learns that winning is tougher than it seems. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes jealous when Lois decides to be a class mom and starts paying more attention to the other kids over him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, look, here's a simulation of what it's like to have sex with Quagmire.”
  - “* It seems today that all you see * * Is violence in movies and sex on TV * * But where are those good old-fashioned values * * On which we used to rely?”
  - “Damn! 1,000 women? Well, 1,000 sexual conquests.”
  - “Now let's meet number 1,000! Ladies and gentlemen, my 1,000th sexual conquest is this largemouth bass! Yeah.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Please, please, I'll do anything! Anything you want, just don't kill me! What could you possibly do for me? I'll-I'll-I'll shine your shoes, or scrub your toilets! Or coil your penis!”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Then, of course, it's back to murdering wolves.”
  - “Yeah, every time you get a couple of beers in you, we have to hear all about how you can beat up Liam Neeson.”
  - “What about that time we snuck beers into the opera? PETER I could totally beat up Liam Neeson.”
  - “Peter, you're never gonna get close enough to Liam Neeson to throw a punch at the guy.”
  - “Aah! Will Liam Neeson punch Peter? Will Stewie stop being jealous of his mom or something? Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of this story, and the just-regular conclusion of the other story.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Oh, I-I just assumed after that incident in the parking lot with that bitch in the Lexus, you wouldn't want me to.”
  - “Hey, you-you hear that, Landon? That's how you keep your bitch in line.”
  - “What the hell?! If anyone should be her helper, it should be me.”
  - “Damn it, Peter, I'm sick of this! I've had it! Me, too.”
  - “If you were ever face-to-face with Liam Neeson, you'd crap your pants.”
  - “Potato Head here! Any Irish actors around who might be interested in me? You're damn right, darlin'.”
  - “What the hell?! You're out of jail! How'd you get out? With my smooth talki ta My I used I My word My I words I used words.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Are you kidding? You took on the star of Kinsey! Yeah, and more importantly, you followed through on your drunken ravings.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Eat my button, you whore.”

## S13 E18 — Take My Wife
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1318.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois books a fun couple's vacation in the Bahamas, but much to Peter's surprise, it turns out to be a marriage counseling program instead. Meanwhile, Carter watches the kids at home and becomes frustrated that they're too into their electronics to play games the old-fashioned way. So he tries to fix it himself.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, that's a lot of my money, but I used to have sex with you, so that's the trade-off.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Since you'll all be gone, I'll just walk around my yard naked, pee anywhere I want.”
  - “Looks like boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “We find the defendant guilty of murder.”
  - “So let's get the blood pumping with my Jack LaLanne record.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You a bitch and a ho and a ho and a bitch My garden party has been ruined.”
  - “Who wants some? No one? What's wrong with you people? Dick Fosbury won an Olympics on this.”
  - “Damn it, I tried two things that all kids love: coffee and old seed packets.”
  - “Wait, you what? Oh, come on, what the hell? Aw Aw, but what?! That's right, I'm gonna show you kids how to have fun the old-fashioned way, like I did when I was a kid.”
  - “And what the hell happened to you? Oh, Kimmie and I fell asleep on the beach.”
  - “Yeah! Kill the whites! Race war! (grunts Run! Everybody run! What the hell is happening?! Somebody do something! Look! We got to get the attention of that plane! You got to help us! Man, those natives are pissed!”

## S14 E1 — 1. Pilling Them Softly
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1401.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie is diagnosed with ADD and prescribed Adderall, which Brian takes to write a 2000-page proposal to pitch to author George R.R. Martin at a book convention. Meanwhile, Quagmire and Peter compete, Iron Chef-style, to determine which of them gets to keep his new cooking show.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “…My wife can wear this to sleep! My wife can wear this to sleep! Okay, today we're putting together duck breast medallions with a port wine reduction.”
  - “Then you're gonna want to add the duck breasts, seal the bag, and refrigerate that for at least one hour, or up to 24 hours, if you want to prepare this ahead of time.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, that's 'cause you interrupted me when I was telling you about Kevin trying to hang himself with an extension cord.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, I never cook with butter.”
  - “These are Korean tacos, 'cause whatever the hell nowadays.”
  - “Look at me! I'm huge in 2002! Peter Nothing like a night at the theater that ends in a headache! Damn it, Peter, that's it! I can't do this show with you anymore! You're fired! What?! You can't fire me! Only Mr.”
  - “And I just figured, the hell with it, why not build a scale model and record voices for all the characters? Watch.”
  - “I like to drizzle these with a fig balsamic Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like inviting a turtle to a cocktail party.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “What a skank.”

## S14 E2 — 2. Papa Has a Rollin' Son
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1402.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: For Father's Day, the guys track down Joe's estranged father. But when Joe explains that his dad is intolerant of people with disabilities, Peter steps in and pretends to be Joe. Meanwhile, Stewie's doctor tells him that he'll only grow to be 5'1", so he hangs out with Tiny Tom Cruise to understand what it's like to be short.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've been sleeping with your sister.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Splendid, Charles! What is it called? Oliver Nipple-Twist.”
  - “Glenn, do you think you'd see my bra through this blouse? Uh, I don't know.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Joe! What the hell happened to you? I was shot in the line of duty.”
  - “Yeah, all girls are lesbians when you point a gun at 'em.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “"Screw you, math dick.”
  - “Oh, yes, you are! Get away from me, you son of a bitch!”
  - “Aah! Oh, my God! Holy crap, he's out of control! Does it look real? Plan B! an B! Peter, I'm afraid this is hopeless.”
  - “Ow! Oh, Charles, you bastard! Yeah! The Dickens! It hurts like the me! So, anyone going to the gerbil's funeral on Friday? Okay, kids! Everyone in a circle for parachute time.”
  - “Oh, goodie, I love parachute time! Whee! Whee! Whee! What the hell? That kid looked like Tiny Tom Cruise.”
  - “There's no more important relationship than I'm sorry, Cleveland, what the hell is that Toronto Raptors hat? It was my Father's Day present.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “My dad's a stinking drunk who lives in Ireland, but you got a perfectly good dad.”
  - “Who's ready for another beer? Hey, Cleveland, weren't you supposed to buy the next round? That's a shame Joe never sees his dad.”

## S14 E3 — 3. Guy, Robot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1403.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie doesn't like Brian's stand-up comedy jokes, so the two of them fight. To get back at Brian and make him jealous, Stewie builds a robot friend. But when the robot outsmarts Stewie and dumps him, Brian and Stewie reunite. Meanwhile, Lois forces Peter to get a new mattress.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “If Lois won't sleep with you on the new mattress, we just got to get your old mattress back.”
  - “Something I can help you with? Yeah, you got any brain-dead women in there you let people have sex with for a few bucks? Sure, come on back.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “"I was wondering why this tampon commercial was so long until I realized it was a re-run of Sex and the City.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “Well, Peter, I don't think you can go any farther down the ladder than porno people.”
  - “Oh, my God, Bruce, you do porn? Nah, I's part of the crew.”
  - PETER: “Yeah, I want to do you right where the porn lunch was.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, uh Stewie! You, uh, you caught the show? You bloody thief! Every joke you told up there was stolen from me! Stewie, relax.”
  - “Have you ever had a fistfight with your stepdad? Which stepdad? You passed! Here's your license.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Go be a dick.”
  - “Where the hell's Peter? I'm almost done doing the 45 minutes of stuff a woman my age needs to do right before bed.”
  - “What new friend? (electronic whirring, beeping) Is this dog bothering you, Stewie? What the hell? You couldn't find a real friend so you built a robot? Oh, not a robot, Brian.”
  - “(crying, retching) I bet the mall around here sucks.”
  - “Ah, damn it.”
  - “says this is where a piece of crap has to live.”

## S14 E4 — 4. Peternormal Activity
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1404.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys go to an abandoned asylum seeking inspiration for a new horror movie idea, but end up accidentally killing a man they think is keeping them hostage. Wracked with guilt, they each try to pin the murder on someone else. Meanwhile, Stewie is on a mission to destroy Brian's glasses because he's annoyed by how pretentious Brian's been acting when he wears them.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You know, I like them horror movies where you got a couple of teenagers getting busy in their car at Makeout Point, but there's a killer on the loose.”
  - “…what the man on the radio is saying right now? TOM TUCKER: Another dead teenage couple was found at Makeout Point, clawed beyond recognition.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “(chuckles) You have nice breasts, for instance.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's just that when you've read as many books as I have, it-it takes a toll, you know? You sure it's not from watching too much close-up porn on your phone?”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like An Affair to Remember.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “He's using it to frame me for murder! Well, I'm not the only one.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, let's get him! (yelling) Son of a bitch! Take that! Die, Hook-hand! You won't kill us! Um, Hook-hand's name is Albert, and he's dressed like a janitor.”
  - “(whistling) Hey, Bri? Yeah? Aah! Damn it! Aah! There's glass in my eye! Oh! Son of a bitch! Aah! Mom says dinner's at 6:00.”
  - “(screams) And also with you! Geez, this movie sucks.”
  - “(pops) Damn it, I guess it's a wiring issue.”
  - “That's it? What the hell? When do the zombies show up? That's the thing.”
  - “Aw, damn it, it's locked! Oh, my God, somebody must have locked us in.”
  - “(screaming) Where the hell are we? (footsteps echo) I heard something.”
  - “Wait a minute, is-is that-- is that his car? (car alarm wailing) Aw, crap, it's still alive! It does not feel like a Wednesday.”
  - “Damn it, that bastard is bailing on us.”

## S14 E5 — 5. Peter, Chris, & Brian
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1405.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Leather bracelets! Nipple ring!”
  - “(slurring): Take off your underwear.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “You thinking about all the good times you had there? No, I'm thinking about my teenage porn stash.”
  - “You, Quagmire? You enjoy pornography, too? Yup, and I know that a man's porn collection must be secured and protected at all costs, until he gets ashamed of it and ditches it in an alley behind a Kroger's.”
  - “Look, what's this all about? This guy used to live in your house and a box of his old porn is still hidden in there.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “…things that make us Laugh and cry He's a Fam ily Guy! ANNOUNCER: Hey, guys, do you like beer, but can't get drunk from beer?”
  - “The can says "beer," but inside is 12 ounces of carbonated vodka.”
  - “Honey, I'm so proud of you, cutting down to one beer a night.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Aw, did I just do a racism? (knocking on window) Hello? Can I help you gentlemen? Hi.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Lactating sluts on box springs.”
  - “Now, which movie should I start with? "Back-Door Sluts 4.”

## S14 E6 — 6. Peter's Sister
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1406.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter's sister, Karen, visits for Thanksgiving and bullies Peter the same way he treats Meg. At first, Meg is amused, but she soon helps Peter train to defeat his sister in a wrestling match.Meanwhile, to avoid overeating on Thanksgiving, Stewie and Brian go on a cleanse, which Stewie takes one step too far
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “President! (laughter) And then, so I'm like, "Peter, how was I supposed to know you didn't want your teammates to know you wore a bra?" (laughter) It was a custom-designed sports halter top.”
  - “I always do my "are you a leg man or a breast man" joke.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “You're Heavy Flo! In the flesh and blood.”
  - “How could you not notice it? Watch this, I-I'll punch him in the nuts.”
  - “…Monkey Farm Keep your windows rolled up 'cause the monkeys Will pry 'em open and they're known to strangle kids Ooh-ooh-ooh, aah-aah-aah!”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Did somebody order a hot-ass bitch and this lady? Oh, you're alive.”
  - “Sure, what the hell, I'll show you my moves.”
  - “…God! She's doing The Toxic Shock! (groaning) (gasping, wheezing) Y-Y-You're a j-jerk, K-K-Karen! What the hell was that?”
  - “You know what, Meg? You're right! I'm gonna do it! You are? Damn right! Yay, Dad! I am gonna become a lady wrestler and defeat Heavy Flo in the ring.”
  - “(bell dings) (grunting) Ow! Damn it, Karen! Karen? Peter, is that you? What are you doing here? Something I should have done a long time ago.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Mix it with booze.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “How how did? Uh, why-why you so fat? Okay, ask him about anything but his weight.”

## S14 E7 — 7. Hot Pocket-Dial
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1407.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Quagmire admits that he is in love with Lois. Unfortunately, he proclaims his love while he has accidentally pocket-dialed Peter. Peter is furious and Brian takes it upon himself to fix the situation.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “He's always had a potent sex drive.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You sure you don't want to come over and pull on my cat's nipples? We can do anything, 'cause my mom has two jobs.”
  - “" And then I lost my wood, and so we just watched Colbert, and then I took a dump completely nude.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, what are y'all doing? Someone stop him! Kill him, Dad! Murder him! (Quagmire and Peter grunting) That's it! End of cookout! Get out of my house, and don't ever speak to me again! Wow, that turned ugly fast.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “There's that son of a bitch! He's got some nerve showing up here.”
  - “(choking) Oh, my God, are you all right? (coughs) No, I swallowed it! My toothpick! It's gone! Damn it! I'm gonna need you to put that large two-handed colander over the toilet.”
  - “Can you come home quick? Who the hell is that? Huh.”
  - “Am I the only one hearing this? Get the hell away from my wife, you scumbag! Peter, what are you talking about? I'll tell you what I'm talking about! I'm talking about this! PETER (recorded): Idea for a movie.”
  - “Glenn i-is this true? Wait a minute, how the hell'd you get that recording, Peter? You pocket-dialed me, you bastard! Peter, that was a private conversation.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, fat ass, I brought you flowers.”

## S14 E8 — 8. Brokeback Swanson
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1408.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Joe is trampled in a local running of the bulls and becomes a quadriplegic, the guys find it too difficult to hang around him. Meanwhile, Brian sleeps with a married woman, and when the husband returns home, he pretends to be the family's new dog.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “You want to have sex? Sure, I've almost finished my sandwich, anyway.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Can't make out this one.”
  - “(laughs) That's-that's not a real thing, I'm talking about sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “…Mass! You and your friends can run from a bunch live bulls, and lots of times, there's a chick whose boob comes out.”
  - “And you probably don't want any reminders of Bonnie around the house, so I cleared out all of her underwear.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I think my wife is cheating on me.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Would the French people let their boss walk around in stained underwear trying to stab people if the place wasn't nice? Yeah, no, no, y-you're right, you're right.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Man, when I find that son of a bitch, I'm gonna rip his head off.”
  - “(car engine humming outside) Oh, crap, my husband's home early.”
  - “Your husband's a Navy SEAL?! What the hell is going on here?! What is this? Ruff! You got a dog? Uh yeah! I rescued him from the pound.”
  - “Damn it, this game is so stupid!”
  - “Yeah, that's why I looked into it, and we've reserved a place for him at the State Home for Mentals and Bastards.”
  - “Wait, what?! Tori, come back! Damn it! Wow, shocker.”
  - “Where the hell have you been? I got arrested for huckin' a TV/VCR combo off the dam.”
  - “(phone ringing) What's that ringing? Joe, that ringing-- it's coming from your back! It is? Holy crap! Dr.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'll wheel over to the bar and bring back your beers one by one in my lap.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, uh, uh, just to be clear, I don't really think you're a whore.”
  - “Your mother's a whore! I told you that in confidence, Gary.”

## S14 E9 — 9. A Shot in the Dark
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1409.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter's couch is stolen from his front lawn, the guys form a neighborhood watch group. While on duty, Peter sees someone trying to climb into Cleveland's house and he shoots him. Peter is then arrested and charged with a hate crime.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hey, Quagmire, you're a sex guy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “What are you doing? Lois, to show I'm in touch with what it's like to be African-American, I am gonna go to the middle of the town square, get naked and paint myself brown.”
- Violence & injury — 8 moment(s)
  - “Are you here to give me the deposit for the shirts? No, Peter, I'm here to place you under arrest for the attempted murder of Cleveland Junior.”
  - “You shot him because you're stupid.”
  - “Where did you get these? Via the Web? Hey, listen, Joe, um, you think you can get us all guns? No, Peter, they're too dangerous.”
  - “Besides, you can't just go get a gun, you have to be certified in gun safety, go through an extensive background screening process.”
  - “You wouldn't have fired that gun if he was white! That's not true-- I'll shoot anybody.”
  - “Brown, please pick up this knife.”
  - “Aah! He's got a knife! (crowd gasping) (grunting) This isn't fair! They're making my son look like a common hoodlum! Joe, you're a cop! Do something! No, the soap covers everything.”
  - “" (whispers) "I set out to bring down stars from the sky" (punches landing) "Ow.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Or am I? You're gonna wonder about that, you fat bitch.”
  - “I call the paper towel! Aw, damn it! Ha-ha! You got to move fast when Meg's at the table, Brian.”
  - “(crickets chirping) (clacking) What the hell? Hey, you! (clacking) Step away from that table.”
  - “you shot me! Why the hell were you climbing in the window of your own house anyway? My dad says opening the door lets out too much air-conditioning.”
  - “What? It's a stupid idea! You're a stupid man! A stupid, stupid man! Ow, you're hurting me! Stop it, stop it, Lois! No! I'm so sick of your crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “So I brought a bottle of your favorite booze.”
- Racism & slurs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Calm down?! I want this racist out the room, and I want him arrested! Racist? I put these gloves on for everybody.”
  - “Now, get out of here! You're nothing but a worthless bigot! Wow, I really messed up.”
  - “I'm not a racist.”
  - “Cleveland, why did you do that? Peter, since this is about racism, why don't we take a slow, hands-clasped-behind- the-back walk together? Listen, I know you wouldn't have shot Cleveland Jr.”

## S14 E10 — Candy, Quahog Marshmallow
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1410.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter, Cleveland and Joe come across an old VHS tape called "Winter/Summer," an Asian soap that Quagmire starred in when he was living in Korea. Unable to find the final tape of the series, the guys travel to Korea to find it and Quagmire is reunited with his old lover. Meanwhile, Stewie worries he might become a redhead.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I can get drunk whenever, sleep with anyone, and just hide in my house and avoid the world if I feel like it.”
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “In fact, at the height of the show, I did a whole pro-genital-mutilation PSA that I really regret.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “Donna's mother? It was suicide.”
  - “Odd choice to have an open casket for a gunshot suicide.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Have you ever killed a dog while driving drunk, and then been upset that there was no way for your car engine to cook it for you on the rest of the drive home? Well, those days are over, thanks to Dr.”
  - “…Quahog So, Quagmire, please tell 'em see ya Come on, come on, come on home, Quahog is your home Boy Whiskey, steaks and giant bongs Ricki Lake and Howie Long Giant boobies, firm and strong Not here, only in the U.”

## S14 E11 — The Peanut Butter Kid
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1411.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When their bank accounts begin to run dry, the Griffins look for ways to make money. Stewie gets cast in a peanut butter commercial and becomes the money maker for the family. Meanwhile, Lois and Peter become crazy show business parents and Brian helps Stewie realize that he does not want to be a child actor.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You go in that room and imagine everyone in it wants you sexually.”
  - “I want him sexually.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “("The Stripper" by David Rose plays) Cheesy jokes And ugly broads Way back when They had no porn Just scarves Fans Fat Gross A terrible time For your penis to live in Bill.”
  - “He did porn.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Wasn't your kid an actor, you jagoff? Didn't your father hate your guts and die? Whoa! Bring a gun to a knife fight.”
  - “My son had a gun waved in his face in a Dexter episode.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Isn't that right, sweetie? Shut your hole, bitch! I'll tell you what I want fresh-squeezed-- these.”
  - “God, the mall sucks, doesn't it, kids? If I had a credit card, I'd shop online.”
  - “A damn disaster.”
  - “We had time to do both! (piano plays Bent Fabric's "Alley Cat") What the hell? (song ends) Okay, that's great, that's great, that's great.”
  - “What the hell are you guys doing? What does it look like? We're practicing.”
  - “And for what? So Peter and Lois can spend the money you earned on crap they don't even need? Uh, I'm not supposed to use my voice for non-paying stuff, Brian.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “" It's one part 5-Hour Energy, and the other three hours are espresso, Scotts Turf Builder, and a tiny, tiny super-small amount of cocaine.”
  - “You know, Brian, that acting stuff was a bit much for me, but I did quite enjoy the dancing and the cocaine.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Are you guys talking about your kids? My daughter is the American Apparel slut baby.”

## S14 E12 — Scammed Yankees
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1412.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Lois and her mom, Babs, have a relaxing spa day, leaving Peter to entertain Lois' father, Carter. The boys fall for an email scam, and have to go to Africa to get their money back. Meanwhile, Brian pursues Meg's friend, Patty.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Farewell, sex.”
  - “Because, sexy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Now what do you want to do? Well, we could watch porn.”
  - “Have you heard of porn? Is that something you're aware of? You have postcards from France?! No, no, no, like like, on the computer.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “God, it would've been real easy to bring a gun in here.”
  - “What?! So that-that money's just been Josh Hartnett-ed?! What's that? Gone! Disappeared! Never to be heard from again! Isn't he in that Showtime thing with the blood and the hats? Look, the point is I was swindled.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Uh, I'll take one terrible beer, filled up way too high, so I spill most of it, and a too-long hot dog on a too-short bun.”
  - “Good-bye, being honest about how many beers I've had.”

## S14 E13 — An App a Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1413.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Peter learns about phone apps and overloads his phone with them. He buys a new phone with more memory and gives his old phone to Chris, which causes a series of horrible events. Meanwhile, Stewie joins a tennis club and invites Brian to be his tennis partner.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Now let's just stop talking and have idiot actor sex.”
  - “What's that? You take a ton of pills that completely wipe out all sexuality.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “If you want to get a girl's attention, you text her a picture of your penis.”
  - “This is not a drill! I repeat, not a drill! Good to be back doing this again, huh, Bill? What, shoveling coal into a penis? I was sleeping.”
  - “Where frail old men come to weigh themselves in the nude.”
  - “Someone someone get me nude art books! I need nude art books! Oh, good, Chris.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “You're clearly watching porn.”
  - “When Chris sent that picture, he was technically distributing child pornography.”
  - “Child pornography?! Joe, that's crazy! He's just a teenager who made a bad choice.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yes, I'm interested in cheating on my wife in Las Vegas.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You married me because I play one of the main bad guys in Blue Bloods.”
  - “Peter, I'm gonna punch you with this beer mug till I'm holding just the handle! Guys, calm down.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Hugh Cornwallis? He's, like Super bitchy, I know.”
  - “"Nice crank, you dirty little bastard"? Sorry, I'll take that.”
  - “Damn it, Brian! I entered us in that tournament because you said you could play! And I will not be humiliated in front of shallow, rich alcoholics! Hey, Chris.”
  - “" Chris? What the hell happened to you? Mother, Father, I decided to have myself chemically castrated.”
  - “Why the hell would you do that?! Now nobody will have any reason to be afraid of me or think I'm a pervert, and everybody can just treat me like normal again.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, so this place has hot women, morning booze and free vomit? Maybe I'll join you.”

## S14 E14 — Underage Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1414.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Mayor West raises the drinking age to 50. Because of dog years, Brian is the only one old enough to buy alcohol, so Peter makes him buy all of his booze.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “…Man, I haven't made money this easy since I invented the Yanket! Peter, what's wrong? Well, I want to masturbate, but I'm just so darn cold.”
  - “If you're anything like me, the number one problem in your life is that you can't masturbate just anywhere.”
  - Coming up: “female high school teacher sleeps with her students.”
  - “Ugh, this seems like a weird place to even use a condom.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Oh, my God! My husband's having a heart attack! Is anyone here a doctor?! I have a 13-inch penis! (applause) And besides, I'm sick of you acting like you're such a victim.”
  - “Here's $50, go change your underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “The man who made it, Curtis "Murder Dog" Williams, went on to become one of America's most celebrated vintners.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “I rule! Look it up Edison was a dick.”
  - “But still, holy crap! Well, here's your money.”
  - “(fire alarm ringing) Holy crap! We-we-we got to get out of here! Aw, man, the library.”
  - “(grunts) Ow, damn it! I think my belt buckle cut my gut! Hey, Peter, can I ask you something? You're not just hanging out with me because I, I can buy you alcohol, right? What?! Course not.”
  - “Oh, my God! What the hell is that?! This? This is a pointing bird.”
  - “(sighs) Well, this sucks.”
  - “It obviously wasn't for me, but the imagination's a hell of a thing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 12 moment(s)
  - “Our patented process makes it look like you're holding the remote or sipping a beer.”
  - “But first, the public library suffered damage this evening when an area fat man smashed through the front of the building while attempting a drunken stunt.”
  - “Anyway, these types of immature, drunken high jinks are destroying our town.”
  - “I was going to bone my girlfriend, but she told me that if there wasn't vanilla vodka involved, there was no way.”
  - “Oh, my God, he's just been drunk this whole time? This new law sucks.”
  - “We'll just go into the brewery after hours and take some beer.”
  - “Peter, why'd you want me to get us into this prison? Because, Joe, everyone knows that all prisoners make bootleg wine in their toilet.”
  - “We are gonna get so wasted! Oh! Look, right here.”
  - “What the hell? Why's Jerome serving booze to Brian? I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.”
  - “Brian can buy us booze.”
  - “Oh, my God! Are you drunk again? Yeah, I was, I was just hanging out with my main man, Peter.”
  - “Is that, is that wine? Yeah, Adam just poured me a little before dinner.”

## S14 E15 — A Lot Going on Upstairs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1415.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Stewie refuses to sleep in his own bed because of nightmares, Peter can't stand it, so he goes to sleep in the attic. Peter turns the attic into a man cave and all of the guys begin hanging out there, which makes Lois incredibly angry. Meanwhile, Brian helps Stewie overcome his fears by building a device to go into his nightmares and defeat his demons.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Scooch over so he can sleep with us.”
  - “(electronic music playing) Hey, man, where you been?! I just had sex with a girl on her period! Dude, that's not a brag! So, how fat are you? 240? Nice.”
  - “…on? But I don't know any of my lines! (gasps) It seems today That all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV PETER: But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Ha-ha, Stewie's naked! What?! (laughter) Oh, my God! Don't look! Don't look! Cell phones down! Cell phones down! (ominous music playing) (shouts) What the deuce?! Stewie! Run from the monster.”
  - “Hey, I brought construction paper and markers in case you guys want to draw breasts.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Would you like to do the Bristol Stomp? The kids in Bristol are sharp as a pistol When they do the Bristol Stomp How does he even know this? Really somethin' when they join in jumpin' He heard it once in the car.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Now, if you look closely, she's clearly drunk.”

## S14 E16 — The Heartbreak Dog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1416.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg begins working at a retirement community and starts stealing from the residents. Then Chris finds out and wants in on the heist. When the residents catch them, they blackmail them and force the thieves to listen to all of their boring stories.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “At least I've had an orgasm.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Well, I'm sorry, but Kim Kardashian did get famous for making a sex tape.”
  - “You're worse than that Juliette Lewis who makes out with dogs.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like porn movies before sound.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I wonder which one of us is the murderer? Okay, we ditch this stuff in the day room, and then I'm done with my volunteer hours and we never come back here again.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point that Bonnie's a weird slut who's always letting you know she's open for business.”
  - “That's how I sweat, you dumb bitch.”
  - BRIAN: “Son of a bitch! Bonnie, I understand now why you left.”
  - “What the hell happened? Ah! How do I walk?! Are these forever?! I also rubbed my butt on you while you were unconscious.”
  - “Joe has been making my life hell.”
  - “I do? Damn it.”
  - “Ow! Damn it! (groaning) Hey, Bri, came to try that apple pie you were texting about.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm going to go get more wine.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point that Bonnie's a weird slut who's always letting you know she's open for business.”

## S14 E17 — Take a Letter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1417.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To pay for Stewie's private school, Lois becomes a postal worker. She finds a letter from Peter that was never sent to his old fling, Gretchen (guest voice Kathryn Hahn), dated a week before their marriage. When Gretchen tries to come between Lois and Peter, Lois has a plan of her own.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Asians, blonde Southern girls, blonde Asians capable of performing every possible sexual act, or at least incapable of refusing.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Now, put that gun down, Gretchen.”
  - “Well, they didn't like me beating up Gretchen on federal property, and then after your father plugged up that P.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “What a dick.”
  - “What the hell? This is from Peter.”
  - “Who the hell is Gretchen Mercer? And this is postmarked a week before our wedding! Aw, there was a time when the president of the Jonathan Taylor Thomas Fan Club got a lot of mail.”

## S14 E18 — The New Adventures of Old Tom
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1418.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter gets lost in the mall overnight after his family abandons him. Meanwhile, Brian pretends to be a millionaire to win over a girl.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “(women chattering) There's too many of them! We've got to start a chant so they'll file out into the street! All sex is rape!”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Peter, what the hell happened to my underwear? They're all stretched out.”
  - “All right, I'm off to get more underwear.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sorry, sorry, my buddy sent me a bunch of Romanian porn, and now every girl I look at I imagine throwing onto a table.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, feel like I'm cheating on Tom Bergeron.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Before you jump, could you just hand me this microphone, like you're passing me the torch? What the hell are you doing here? What am I doing? Getting an interview with a crazed jumper on the brink of suicide.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “We had a bottle of wine and a joint at Bonnie's house, and we want to watch Dallas Portland before the buzz wears off.”
  - “Today on CBS This Morning, we'll be talking about how much sleep you need to not be drunk from the night before.”

## S14 E19 — Run, Chris, Run
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1419.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To everyone's surprise, Chris wins homecoming king. However, Meg finds out that the cool kids plan to prank him during the homecoming ceremony, so they go to the school to investigate. Meanwhile, Cleveland starts hanging out with Jerome, the bartender. So Peter and the guys try to replace him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Maybe I'll surprise everyone, like when you find out a buttoned-up librarian is actually super sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Webster's dictionary defines "smegma" as "a sebaceous, cheese-like substance around the head of the penis.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Excuse me, ma'am? ("Hot Blooded" by Foreigner plays) Hot blooded Yes? There's a dead homeless man blocking the card catalog.”
  - “The boys' showers shall run red with the blood of my enemies.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “(cheering) (indistinct chatter) God, a lot of gym teacher suicide memorials in this place.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you take that, you fat bitch? Well, he obviously doesn't know it's just a pity vote.”
  - “10:40? Ah, crap, we gotta get out of here.”
  - “What the hell is Jerome doing here? We didn't order any drinks.”
  - “Yay! (laughing): Yay! Holy crap! I don't believe it.”
  - “But then Damn it! Less than a minute.”
  - “Sucks we didn't find out what kind of prank they're gonna pull on Chris.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Man, I'm starting to get drunk.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's racist.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just see him walking around with his hands down his pants all day, and he's just so fat and weird, so we feel bad.”

## S14 E20 — Road to India
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1420.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian falls in love with a tech support worker in India, so he and Stewie travel there to find her. Meanwhile, Joe invites Peter to his bingo night, but when Peter becomes the new center of attention, Lois helps Joe reclaim the group.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna shoot you with my six-gun.”

## S15 E1 — 1. The Boys in the Band
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1501.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie and Brian form a children's band that quickly rises to fame until they let a girl get between them and drive the band apart. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois insist that Chris gets a job so he takes a job managing Quagmire's sex life as his personal assistant.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Peter, our dishwasher is full of sex toys.”
  - “What is a "horse gimp"? It's a sexual fetishist who derives erotic pleasure from dressing in horse-themed leather gear.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “He also takes pictures of Quagmire's genitals to track sore growth.”
  - “And would you like to leave your panties in the fishbowl for a chance to win a free lunch? Good luck.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “…in a book In the drawer with the socks And I know how to use it To open up the box And that's where the gun is.”
  - “Now, the first thing I need you to do every morning is punch me in the stomach because I'm a bad person.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Why you being such a dick? Because I lost the baby! What was that? I don't know, he saw that in a movie or something.”
  - “Do it, Charlie! I'm not going back to that four-person bed! Hell, I'll do it, if you want! No! It has to be a child! What did he just say? Brian, this does not seem appropriate to watch in front of the baby.”
  - “I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down What the hell's going on? This guy's in love.”
  - “Plus, you've got all the cool catchphrases like "damn you all" or "what the dude" or whatever.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink He sings the songs No charge.”
  - “…Mommy goes "ow" Daddy says "I'm done," Mommy goes "wow" Daddy rolls over and falls asleep Mommy drinks wine in the dark.”
  - “…says "I'm done", Mommy goes "wow" STEWIE, BRIAN & OLIVIA: Daddy rolls over and falls asleep Mommy drinks wine in the dark.”

## S15 E2 — 2. Bookie of the Year
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1502.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian and Lois decide it's time for Chris to work out his anger management issues by taking up a sport. Chris surprises everyone and becomes a star baseball pitcher, which turns Peter into a gambling father, as he bets on his son's baseball games. Meanwhile, Stewie, Brian and Frank Sinatra Jr. attempt to open an Italian restaurant.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “He what?! Peter, get in here right now! Wow, someone's day-horny! Oh, hey, Chris.”
  - “I don't know, I've just been so horny today.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “…it was! (YELLS) Oh, my God, Chris is out of control! I know! It must be all the violence in movies and sex on TV.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Every child here has seen a relative murdered in a barber chair.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Aah! Son of a bitch! CHRIS: Oh, my God! Sorry, Mr.”
  - “That a duck over there? Ah, come on! What the hell's Coach Doyle thinking bringing in that fat slob?! You know what? I bet you a hundred bucks that "fat slob" strikes this kid out.”
  - “Holy crap, a hundred bucks! Hey, nice going, Chris! Wow, look how proud my dad is.”
  - “Frank, where the hell is everybody? This was supposed to be our big opening night.”
  - “Ah, crap, now everyone knows Chris is a ringer! Tom Tucker just ruined everything.”
  - “This sucks even worse than when I stubbed my toe.”
  - “Damn it! I can't believe my kid isn't making money for us anymore.”
  - “You're gonna ask your own son to lose on purpose? Damn, Quagmire! Your fridge gives you water from the door? Hey, champ, what you doing? My Spanish homework.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “…while you eat your veal It's family dining with a mobster feel At Frank Sinatra's restaurant Junior! The wine is red With lots of bread (AS MARLON BRANDO): And portions bigger than a horse's head.”
  - “…Italian tune You dine like royalty At Frank Sinatra's restaurant We got big plans to please our fans Our cocktail waitress has enormous cans A men's room servant who will dry your hands At Frank Sinatra's restaurant…”
  - “" At Frank Sinatra's restaurant Gorgeous views And top-shelf booze Yes, we serve Jews Um, that was never an issue So, raise your glass You'll have a gas But seating's…”
  - “I don't know what that means, but let's go rough up a teenager for beer money! Oh, I call biting! Okay, there's the baseball team's locker room right there.”
  - “So, want to grab whatever wine is left and then burn the place down? Maybe, but first, let's have an unearned end-of-the-series moment where we turn out the lights on our own place.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're supposed to yell "Bella, Bella" and grab as much fat ass as you can.”

## S15 E3 — 3. American Gigg-olo
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1503.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter's health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “I am a dancer, not a gigolo! Captain Cockpit, my friend is about to get married, and we were wondering if you'd have sex with her for $500.”
  - “Uh, but I'm unable to properly have sex with my wife, so I figured, you know.”
  - HOOKER 2: “I turned my first trick when I had my first one-night stand.”
  - “I had sex for dinner and drinks.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Take something else off, sexy.”
  - “Why not? Didn't she just pay you for sex? No.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Um, Big Pete, if we're gonna be sitting, may I use my penis donut? Bitch, I don't care.”
  - “Well, I'm off to watch some Fox News in front of the old boob tube.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 9 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Finally, the stripper's here! What? No, I'm not a stripper.”
  - “(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE) What's he doing? This is one of them places where women go to see male strippers.”
  - “Quagmire, I didn't know you were a male stripper.”
  - “You know, prostitution is illegal.”
  - “(SHOUTS) Griffin, you're fired! (MELANCHOLY JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) HOOKER 1: I never liked prostitutes because they sell their bodies to all types of men.”
  - QUAGMIRE: “Being a prostitute is no fun.”
  - NARRATOR: “We meet Quagmire, a small-town boy with big-city dreams who has fallen deep into the game of prostitution at the Point.”
  - “You know, some people ask me, "Would you want your son to be a hooker?" My answer is always, "Hey, lady, are we talking, or am I beefing ya?" I kind of want to see Guardians…”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “What are we gonna do?! I'll get the gun! No, Stewie, you have to fix me.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Did you get a job? - Bitch.”
  - “What the hell did you say to me?! Peter, what are you doing?! You trippin', boy?! You're going out if I tell you you're going out, bitch! Okay.”
  - “(CHUCKLES) Does anyone else like David Bowie? Hey, what the hell is up with this letter? It says I'm no longer covered on your health insurance.”
  - “Where the hell's Quagmire going? The airport's that way.”
  - “(MUSIC STOPS) Oh, my God! What are you guys doing here?! PETER: Crap.”
  - “…at least until I die Damned if you do, damned if you don't I'm supposed to get a raise next week You know damn well I won't Workin' for a livin', workin' Workin' for a livin' Workin' Workin' for a livin', livin' and…”
  - “Damn it, Stewie, you got me fired! Oh, who are you kidding? You got yourself fired.”
  - “Get your hands off me! I'll go floppy dead weight on you! (GROANS) Ah, crap! My stomach! I think my hernia ruptured! Oh, my God! Damn it, it's bad.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Nobody's gonna want you if you're fat! You want to eat? Get up to that bar and earn your keep.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know I hit you and whore you out because I love you, right? Hi, there.”

## S15 E4 — 4. Inside Family Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1504.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: FAMILY GUY takes viewers behind the scenes of a regular FAMILY GUY production week, with James Woods as the guide. See the ins-and-outs of what goes into the making of a FAMILY GUY episode and watch the drama unfold as Peter is replaced and ends up in the office of Fox Television Group Chairmen and CEOs Dana Walden and Gary Newman to pitch his very own new series.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Look, don't get me wrong, guys, I-I think it's hilarious, and-and I totally get that the sex thing is what made me popular, but would it kill us to just once tell a joke that brings glory to God?”
  - “You know, now that I'm not tied down by the show, it's given me more time to pursue my true passion: weaving sexually explicit tapestries featuring the Minions.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Your penis is out.”
  - “Especially last year, when I discovered those naked pictures of that 18-year-old intern on Peter's phone.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “We caught up with Peter at Hollywood's legendary Chateau Marmont Hotel, where I once engaged in the consensual murder of an underaged prostitute.”
  - “"Uncle Ricky, what are all these strippers doing in our house?" "Uh each other?" Hmm? (LAUGHS) Oh, my God! (LAUGHING): I'm sorry, I just (LAUGHS) Did you see the way he smirked? He's like a naughty 53-year-old boy.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “He was shot in the head while killing himself.”
  - “We caught up with Peter at Hollywood's legendary Chateau Marmont Hotel, where I once engaged in the consensual murder of an underaged prostitute.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “I-I mean, there's no hard feelings, um, I just feel like this is best for me, and this is best for those cancerous dicks.”
  - “Oh! (ALL LAUGHING) Why?! Hey, Lois, you should do that thing that I like (SHOUTS) Hey, kids, have you seen my wallet? Oh, nickels! Son of a bitch!”
  - “The show sucks.”
  - “All right, fine, you bastards can fire me, but at least I'm leaving with my dignity.”
  - “Ow! (GRUNTS) (GROANS) Damn it.”
  - “B-B-B-Bird, bird, bird, b-b-b-bird Ah, nickels! (SHOUTS) (GROANS) Oh, damn it! Do you think I'm ever gonna be able to have (GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) Ow!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “(STATIC CRACKLES) (KNOCKING) JOE: Peter, you ready to hit the Drunken Clam? Over.”

## S15 E5 — 5. Chris Has Got a Date, Date, Date, Date, Date
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1505.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Taylor Swift agrees to go to a homecoming dance with Chris after he asks her via online video. However, when she starts to fall for him, her music takes a hit. Meanwhile, Peter decides to try a new profession and sees firsthand what it's like to be an Uber driver.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “This next song is about my dumb ex-boyfriend, who either mistreated me, cheated on me or went to massage parlors when I was out of town.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I can't, Zach! I need them to sing! (GRUNTING) I'm so excited, I'm so excited (CRYING): I'm so scared! (SOBBING) Screech is going to stab someone on Christmas.”
  - “(SLURRING): How many tooths is not enough tooths? Well, kids, your father may have gotten beat up, but Uber's still a great job for anyone afraid to sell their blood.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, you bitch! Seriously? Taylor, this is my sister Meg and our dog Brian.”
  - “(NO AUDIO) (DOOR BELL JINGLES) That was one bitch of a class.”
  - “(BALLOON POPS, "AULD LANGNG SYNE" PLAYING) What the hell? Why would she do this? Wait, wait, wait.”
  - “What the hell's going on? This is what we do to Uber drivers in this town.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, why don't you just kiss her, Griffin? Sorry, I just smoked a joint with the pickup truck kids.”

## S15 E6 — 6. Hot Shots
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1506.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In order to "save" Stewie from autism, Peter and Lois decide not to vaccinate him and then proceed to convince the rest of Quahog to follow suit. Stewie runs away to save himself from diseases until Sean Penn (guest-voicing as himself) swoops in to save the day and brings vaccines to the whole town.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Fact: “"vaccinate" rhymes with "masturbate.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Just like my penis enhancement.”
  - “I hear Sansa finally shows boob in this one.”
  - “(BONES CLATTERING) I see no boob bones, the victim was a man.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, but what are you gonna do? Well, as everyone knows, bats watch a ton of Cinemax softcore porn, so that seems like the place to start.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “But I don't remember how long I set it Aah! We're all gonna die! Okay, so, now the bat has a gun, and the knives I gave him.”
  - “They brought in the big guns.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “I moved onto his prayer farm with 45 other members of the Salvation Star Boys, who died in a mass suicide.”
  - “(EXPLOSIONS, GLASS SHATTERING) All right, what else did I have to do today? Ah, yes, overdose in my apartment.”

## S15 E7 — 7. High School English
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1507.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In an anthology episode, the cast reenacts three classic pieces of literature commonly taught in high school: "The Great Gatsby," "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" and "Of Mice and Men".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I got to talk to this random mechanic's horny wife about some business.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “If it isn't the sexy imbecile.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Don't tell anyone how bad I look naked.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, is that a jug full of porn? Hey, Widow Douglas, I want to live with my dad! Shut your hole! Now come on, I need to use your pee.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna stab you for your blood.”
  - “Oh, come on! I just got shot in the pool in the last one.”
  - “I just need enough blood to make it look real.”
  - “(GROANING) I can't remember why I needed the blood.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Stop countin' my drinks! Now get over here so I can whip you! Ow! Pap! No! Yeah, that's right, bitch.”
  - “This is where I practice my karate, 'cause I'm a dick.”
  - “Have fun raising my bastard.”
  - “Most amazing damn thing I ever did witness.”
  - “No! Karate chop! (GRUNTING) (BONES CRUNCHING) (YELLS) Damn it! I tuck my jeans into my boots! I'll get you, you stupid, giant moron.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “…over and sat you next to my wife to say, "Stay away from my wife!" You know what we should do? Let's all drunk-drive into Manhattan and get a hotel room and have the same conversation we're having here.”
  - “Hello, room service? I'd like a bottle of your second most expensive champagne.”
  - “Don't forget drunk.”
  - “You hungover? Uh, a little bit, yeah.”

## S15 E8 — 8. Carter and Tricia
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1508.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Carter buys the Pawtucket Patriot brewery and decides to cut some corners to save a few bucks. Peter overhears the plan and runs and tells investigative journalist Tricia Takanawa about Carter's plan to use toxic chemicals in the beer cans. Meanwhile, Brian's drivers' license has expired and he enlists Stewie as an instructor.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Tripling is when you vomit, defecate, and orgasm, all at the same time.”
  - “You discovered the power to create new life, and you created a guy? So I should've made a woman so I could have sex with a corpse? I don't know, man.”
  - “Up next is Papa John dyeing his eyebrows? I sleep with him to find out, though I'm fairly confident the answer is yes.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I wonder if I can tell you one of my deepest sexual fantasies? All right.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And I'm his girlfriend 'cause he has great genitals.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “You discovered the power to create new life, and you created a guy? So I should've made a woman so I could have sex with a corpse? I don't know, man.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “" Anyone? No? "You would totally believe any story about me being a dick.”
  - “What happened at school today? You're kind of a dick, Dad.”
  - “Why the hell would Daddy buy the brewery? Well, there's children in the room watch your swearing But apparently, he's looking to diversify his holdings.”
  - “(HUMMING) (SIREN CHIRPS) Aw, damn it.”
  - “You ever been with a man who's got a prostate the size of a beefsteak tomato? (KNOCKING) Oh, crap, it's Carter! I bet he's mad I told the news about him.”
  - “Holy crap! What?! I wanted you to know.”
  - “" That place is a filthy hell hole.”
  - “Dad, I got bullied at school! They flipped up my lunch tray! Oh, that sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 6 moment(s)
  - “Now let's smoke a marijuana cigarette while I'm speeding because of a dare.”
  - “I want our beer cans made from the cheapest material possible.”
  - “But sir What about those metal toilets where prisoners make wine? Use those.”
  - “But sir, if word got out about this, it'd be one of the most notorious developments in beer history, second only to Michelob Ultra Dragon Fruit Peach.”
  - “I just had a couple of alcohol beers.”
  - “Now all we need is a distraction so we can spike her cocktail.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Lois! Fat Ass! Family, I want you to meet Tricia Takanawa.”

## S15 E9 — 9. How the Griffin Stole Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1509.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter is asked to fill in for the mall Santa, until he gets drunk on the power when he realizes that Santa can get away with anything. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian crash holiday office parties for the free food, drama and women.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “(SYMPHONIC MUSIC BEGINS PLAYING) 1-877-Kars-4-Kids K-A-R-S Kars-4-Kids 1-877-Kars-4-Kids Donate your car today I lost my virginity to this song.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Like when I won that sex contest.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Penis Dad, why are you still wearing that Santa suit? Well, the guy at the mall asked me to stay on till Christmas, and I said yes, 'cause being Santa's awesome.”
  - “Which department are you in? Well, right now I'm in Boob Assessment.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) WOMEN: Bye, Santa! (SLURRING): Bye, strippers! Uh, you can all take your clothes off now, I was just comin' in for the spaghetti.”
  - “Now, if you'll excuse me, you're standing in my strip club spaghetti.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “…bells ring And I want a tricycle and a pony and an American Girl doll and a drone with a camera and a gun that fires Ho, ho, ho.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Aah! Bitch! Ah, that hurts.”
  - “" I didn't send you a Oh, son of a bitch, Santa.”
  - “Holy crap, get your ass up there! (SIGHS) You know what, Peter? I'll get the table myself.”
  - “Anything? Holy crap, this is awesome! I'm Santa Claus.”
  - “Hey, what the hell's going on? Oh, Santa.”
  - “You know, you're not talking to a little kid anymore, so get the hell out of my face, Santa.”
  - “" Damn it, he covered all bases.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “…What's going on, Brian? (SIGHS) All right, look, I've been crashing office Christmas parties for the free booze and drunk women who don't want to spend the holidays alone.”
  - “Yes, it's like watching a soap opera, what with all the drunken misbehavior and ill-advised hookups.”
  - “Ah, I'm drunk.”
  - “How wasted are you? Don't judge me.”
  - “Until I went home and had, like, 50 beers, and did forget.”

## S15 E10 — Passenger Fatty-Seven
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1510.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Quagmire scores free friends-and-family plane tickets for a guys' trip to San Francisco. However, after seeing the auto-pilot function, the boys doubt Quagmire's flying skills. Then, unforeseen events in the air put Quagmire's abilities to the test.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Where do you even put all those magnets, Joe? Well, you know I have that fridge in the garage with bags of blood in my blood type?”
  - “Okay, nobody move! Oh, my God, those guys in first class have guns.”
  - “Oh, man, we got to help Peter! Those crazy European guys are gonna kill him! You know, I have a gun in the bag I checked.”
  - “Hey! We knocked out all the bad guys! See? We don't need your help! We kicked their asses and we have their guns! I've got a visual on the terrorists.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “So, if I sign this, the war is over, we surrender, and we still get to be dicks forever? (chuckling): Okay, you win.”
  - “It's my back-in-time box! What the hell, Quagmire? So-so, basically, your job is just goofin' off.”
  - “Look, I tried to be nice and take you fellas on a free trip, and all you can do is crap all over my job.”
  - “Get the hell out of my cockpit.”
  - “Our flight has been - (static) Oh, damn it, they jammed the transmission.”
  - “I know I crap on you a lot, but sometimes, when I'm driving, I think about stuff you say and I laugh.”
  - “Yeah, you're the best damn pilot in the world.”

## S15 E11 — Gronkowsbees
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1511.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Rob Gronkowski, of the New England Patriots, moves into the house behind the Griffins, and the guys enjoy partying with him until his antics become overwhelming. Meanwhile, Stewie begins beekeeping and gives his bees steroids to produce more honey, but instead they become aggressive.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “I can't believe Gisele gets to sleep with him.”
  - “(remote clicks) Okay, once again, nothing is happening on Homeland, but over on Masters of Sex, Lizzie Caplan is hooked up to electrodes and getting it from a guy who sounds American, but probably isn't.”
  - “I feel like an eighth grader who just had sex.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “They show every sex scene on TV without all the boring dialogue and plot.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “We don't want to bring you dead boobs, but if they're alive, we'll get you over there.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Have you any interest in a pot of gold? All you have to do is move to Tallahassee! Wait a minute, this is just a disguise! Aah, son of a bitch!”
  - “(phone chirps) Ah, crap.”
  - “(crunch) (drone engine starting) Oh, crap, it's busted.”
  - “(party music plays) - What the hell is that? MAN: Yeah, that party bus is awesome.”
  - “What the hell are you doing? I wanted to bring over something to welcome Gronk to the neighborhood.”
  - “(cannon fires) Damn it, I can't take anymore! He is the worst neighbor ever.”
  - “Hey, you ever seen a nard explode? A a what? A wha a nard? I don't Is that something on the Internet? Uh, 'cause I Ah, damn it, what the hell?! (laughter) MAN: Oh, nice shot there.”
  - “You know what? You're a jerk, Gronk! That's it, I'm getting rid of that bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “(party music playing) Grovers, you made it! Here, have a beer.”
  - “Probably the gray-haired one with the whiskey-face sunburn? Oh, it's an honor to meet you, sir.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Also, I'm (bleep) insane! (laughing) Eat a butt, fatty!”

## S15 E12 — Peter's Def Jam
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1512.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys try to start a podcast, but Peter goes solo and branches out as a DJ. Meanwhile, back at the Griffin home, Lois' allergy forces Brian to move into Stewie's bedroom and the two have roommate difficulties.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Hey, what are we gonna do tonight? Ooh, maybe we should watch that movie about Freud where Michael Fassbender repeatedly spanks Keira Knightley to orgasm? - You saw that movie? - I saw that scene.”
  - “…do All the things that make us Laugh and cry He's a Fam ily Guy! Hey, do you think homeless people ever have sex with each other?”
  - “I can't sleep with that monster in here.”
  - “I spend most of my day breaking up - in-progress homeless sex.”
  - “Yeah, I mean, that was worse than an Italian guy describing someone's sexuality.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Shot him right in the face.”
  - “(COCKS GUN) This guy gets it first.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “Aah! Son of a bitch! Frickin' bird came out of nowhere! You know, I have a good feeling about this, Brian.”
  - “(COCKS GUN) This guy gets it first.”
  - “Oh, son of a bitch.”
  - “Why you being such a dick about this? Because.”
  - “I said, damn, what a wild couple of days.”
  - “(GRUNTS) Damn it! I hate this house.”
  - “Morning, honey! - Go to hell! All right, you guys, podcast time.”
  - “What the hell was that? I know! Cleveland, you ruined the whole podcast.”
  - “What? One, two, thr ah, crap.”
  - “Being deaf sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, you're a deejay! That's perfect! I own a nightclub for cocaine people and Armenians.”
  - “Well, I'm on cocaine.”
  - “Yeah, I'd drink vodka and Gatorade to that.”
  - “NARRATOR (OVER COMPUTER): Audible dot com presents, "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea," as read by Chelsea Handler.”

## S15 E13 — The Finer Strings
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1513.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys decide to form a string quartet, but Peter doesn't make the cut. Meanwhile, Brian is forced to be Carter's seeing eye dog and enjoys the life of luxury a little too much.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And that's how the penis song goes.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Monsanto equals murder! - Monsanto equals murder! - That's enough.”
  - “You sounded like you were strangling a cat.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Okay, for the first of our 65 performances tonight - WOMAN: You got to be kidding! - MAN: Son of a bitch! I agree.”
  - “Ow! Bitch! She does this a lot! You know, maybe Brian could help you.”
  - “(FOOTBALL PLAYERS LAUGHING) PLAYER: Oh! He talked on the whole bus ride! (PLAYER LAUGHING) (URINATING) How are you, gentlemen Dude! What the hell? Whoa! With cataracts like those, someone needs a big pair of glasses.”
  - “(PLAYING BADLY) Peter, what the hell are you doing? I'm learning violin.”
  - “Who would announce him? See, this right here, this is the one-percenter crap I can't stand.”
  - “Damn it! I've been stuck on that page for two days.”
  - “Ah, the bastards kicked me out 'cause I'm not good enough.”
  - “Okay, I'm pretty sure you're manipulating me, but let's go blind that old bastard.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “This is an away game? - (LAUGHTER) - It's true! Remember that happened? (CHUCKLES) Those are the kids I bought beer for.”
  - “I hate life, and I'm never doing this again! All right, guys, let's go drink a bunch of free booze and be a huge presence in the wedding photos.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…You don't want it You're cuckoo Funny, funny, funny what money can do You guys, I got great news! Some skank I used to bang is getting married, and they need someone to play at the ceremony.”

## S15 E14 — The Dating Game
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1514.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Quagmire discovers the "dating" app Tinder, forcing Peter, Joe and Cleveland to intervene and save him from his soul-sucking hedonism. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that he has scoliosis and learns the perks of his latest diagnosis.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “What's "Tinder"? It's an app for your phone where two strangers can hook up for a dirty liaison.”
  - “Just two horny people with phones.”
  - “What? Why? - We already had sex.”
  - “There was a time when you'd be more selective When you were horny and feeling erective Now one swipe and there's thousands to bone All from a sex app you use on your phone That's the Tinder.”
  - “Give up on your attempt to convince real Quagmire to not use Tinder, and to instead have sex with this woman who's right in front of him.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I mean, easy sex on the Internet? Did you know about this, Scott Baio? Uh, yeah.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “ah You will catch a dose Of blisters and itching and genital warts 'Cause Tinder makes you so gross And for kids it's kind of tragic Sex for them has lost its magic…”
  - “You know, I just, I just feel like my penis shouldn't be alone tonight.”
  - “You want a naked bathroom selfie covering your stuff with a fistful of $100 bills.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “And all it took was for us to hire that $200 dirty prostitute to pretend to be a nice lady in a bar.”
  - “I'm just glad she's a prostitute and not that lady murderer that's been all over the news.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm just glad she's a prostitute and not that lady murderer that's been all over the news.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “You know, like when a woman in a Porsche Cayenne isn't a complete bitch.”
  - “…makes you so gross And for kids it's kind of tragic Sex for them has lost its magic Banging every Tom and Dick and Jack and Jill and Joan And this also might surprise you All your married friends despise you 'Cause…”
  - Due to my 12: “00 noon court appointment as part of a crippling child-custody battle with my horrific ex-wife, I am saying going once, going twice, and awarding this condemned building to you! (APPLAUSE) Damn, it, we lost!”
  - “What the hell was that? Mort's getting laid? Yeah, thanks to Tinder, he's had a different girl every night this week.”
  - “What the hell is all this? Maybe she likes you.”
  - “It's got to be from wearing that damn brace all the time.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Should we do it with careful planning, or have another couple beers and then just go for it? Well, let's make that decision after another couple beers.”
  - “I wrote several long paragraphs describing my interests, some pet peeves, choice of wine, a couple of inspirational quotes, things I've learned from my cats No, no, no, no.”

## S15 E15 — Cop and a Half-wit
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1515.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter helps Joe out with several crime cases, but when Joe tries to take all the credit, Peter gets extremely angry. Meanwhile, Brian convinces Stewie to join a football team and panics when he gets a concussion.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I have to have sex with your housekeeper to save humanity.”
  - “What? Bring me your housekeeper! I have to have sex with her now! I'm the Terminator! I don't have a housekeeper.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Every second I'm not having sex with a housekeeper, robots are killing people in the future.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Our top story tonight: “local news anchor too professional to laugh at penis poked through hole in cue card.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “I want a murdered jogger's Discman.”
  - “The hell we do! [gun clicks.]”
  - “Peter, hand me my gun and get out of here! I could get fired for this! And I can't go back to my job as a magician's assistant.”
  - “Lois, answer the bloody phone! N-No, no! W-we don't need Lois.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “that brain injuries are directly linked to dementia and suicides in former players! - [music gets louder.]”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - JOE: “Car trouble? Ah, son of a bitch, Joe! Didn't even hear you coming.”
  - “Jeez, Joe, what the hell happened? You used to be this badass cop out there on the street, busting heads and keeping us safe.”
  - “Oh, crap! Cops! That's the house! Hold on, Peter, we can't go in there.”
  - “What's up, dudes? Stewie, what the hell is all this? Uh, only the most manly thing ever.”
  - “…on the pedal Never ever false metal Engine running hotter than a boiling kettle My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time City to city, I'm running my rhymes On location Touring around the nation Beastie Boys always on…”
  - “You lift, bro? Damn it, I can't believe Joe's hogging all the credit.”
  - “That bastard's just getting famous by tricking people.”
  - “Your stuff sucks.”
  - “Crap, Chris, he's worse off than I thought.”

## S15 E16 — Saturated Fat Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1516.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In an attempt to avoid eating the healthy food that Lois forces him to eat, Peter opens up his own food truck with fattening foods. Meanwhile, Meg joins a roller derby team, despite Chris thinking it's too dangerous.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “And just sign by dragging your bare finger across this thing I use to masturbate.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “"I am a registered sex offender.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “(SIZZLING) Just gonna use my spare glove-compartment-underwear as a napkin.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Griffin, is this performance art or, uh, some sort of political statement? Well, I'm kind of ticked about condoms in porn, but this is unrelated.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I, I got to murder somebody.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “(CHUCKLES) Dance, you fat bitch.”
  - “Hang there, you fat bitch.”
  - “Where are you going? I'm sick of all this healthy crap.”
  - “(PETER'S LAUGH TO MELODY OF "LA CUCARACHA") Peter, what the hell is this? This, Lois, is my new food truck, specializing in all the delicious, unhealthy foods that you won't let me eat.”
  - “I mean, you can eat sprouts and vegan crap your entire life and still get devoured by Gremlins and-and-and none of it matters.”
  - “"Amazing"? Damn right, amazing.”
  - “Where the hell is everybody? All right, I got a bowl of cereal that's M&M's and Dr.”
  - “This is not a drill! (GRUNTS) Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I stopped thinking about the truck and started thinking about Amazon woman Brigitte Nielsen drunk in a Burbank park.”

## S15 E17 — Peter's Lost Youth
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1517.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter gets jealous of Lois when she upstages him at a Red Sox fantasy baseball camp. Meanwhile, Stewie runs away from home when Meg is left to babysit him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go lick the foot of a fleshy, pale woman for Real Sex 34.”
  - “I'll show you baseball, you sexually unsatisfied wife! Oh.”
  - “Really? Well, how's that gonna happen? Peter, these guys have been sexually harassing me since the second I got here.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I ain't nervous, Lois I'm just sweating 'cause I was too embarrassed to get nude in the locker room, so I'm wearing all this over long pajamas.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “So, who are you taking to Fenway? - What? Well, I was just thinking, you have that extra ticket, - maybe you'd want to - Peter, before you answer him, I've got that murdered jogger's Discman you wanted last week.”
  - “Still bloody.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Where is Brian? What's up, bitches? Oh, come on, Mom, really? I'm in high school, and you're still putting the dog in charge? Believe me, Meg, you want me in charge.”
  - “Wow, I can't believe I'm pretend bowling with a dog on drugs! STEWIE: Ah! Son of a bitch! (TIRES SCREECH) WOMAN: Oh, my God, a baby! My name's Shelly.”
  - “Oh, man, this is it! And the winner is Peter Griffin! Holy crap, I won! - Wow, good for you! - Congratulations! I like it when people say your name out loud! How exciting, Peter.”
  - “Peter, what the hell did you do to the house? I know, it seems pretty lame until you realize I'm 58.”
  - “What the hell do you think you're doing? Let's pick out a cute shirt for you.”
  - “Uh, did you see that, Peter? I'm doing it all! Damn it.”
  - “(GROANING) Yeah! Now, that's a big-league slide, huh, coach? (GROANING): Damn it! I think it's broken.”
  - “Crap! Now we got to find Stewie and write a puppet show.”

## S15 E18 — The Peter Principal
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1518.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter becomes the temporary principal at the high school, and Meg uses his new power to get even with her bullies. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie open a bed & breakfast that quickly turns into a brothel.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Oh, my God, Principal Shepherd, what's wrong? I just listened to two hours of butt-dialed sex between my wife and the ADT alarm guy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “The only people checking in are here to have sex with prostitutes.”
  - “You see, if our guests insist on bringing prostitutes into our B and B, we might as well provide the women, too.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “And next time I want to get back at your bullies, I'll do it the old-fashioned way As a grown man beating up teenagers in a parking lot.”
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - “Brian, bitches.”
  - “Bitches, Brian.”
  - “It's so damn loud around here.”
  - “Oh, also, please rub the "H" and the "C" off all the knobs, so people won't know what the hell's going on.”
  - “Wait, I'm sorry, weren't you just here a moment ago with a different man oh, crap.”
  - “" Oh Damn it, this is awful.”
  - “Hey, stupid, what the hell are you doing? That's my daughter! Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? What am I gonna do about it? I'll knock your teeth down your throat and out your butt, you little bastard!”
  - “Don't take any crap from anyone.”
  - “This is a hell of a lot easier than when I delivered pizza in New Orleans.”

## S15 E19 — Dearly Deported
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1519.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Chris' Mexican girlfriend, Isabella, gets deported, he volunteers to take care of her twin babies. After learning that Isabella can't come back to the U.S., the Griffins go to Mexico to return her children. Then, Peter's past as a sperm donor catches up to him when many of his children show up unannounced to his house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - ALL: “Yay! (SLURPING) I saw Lady and the Tramp, so I asked if we could eat spaghetti in the alley, but they said no, because of all the homeless masturbation.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Enjoy the boobs of your morning.”
  - “Afternoon! Enjoy the boobs of your afternoon.”
  - “He bought a breast-feeding book.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “So we have no corporate identity? We secondary e-mail people use to sign up for porn sites.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Bring your girlfriend with the fat ass in here.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - ALL: “Yay! (SLURPING) I saw Lady and the Tramp, so I asked if we could eat spaghetti in the alley, but they said no, because of all the homeless masturbation.”
  - “Well, maybe he should have thought of that before he opened his slut legs.”

## S15 E20 — A House Full of Peters
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1520.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter's past as a sperm donor catches up to him when many of his children show up unannounced to his house
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “They have sex parties in the Hollywood Hills.”
  - “Yeah, I'll-I'll take a large sperm, please.”
  - “You were a sperm donor? Yeah, I'd-I'd almost forgotten about it, but then last night, I get this call from a woman who says she's my daughter.”
  - “It's like bubble wrap you get to have sex with every now and then.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “So, hey, uh, are you tipsy enough to let me have lazy Tony Soprano sex? You know, where-where I just lie there and arch my hips a little bit and breathe like a dying whale? Uh, I don't know.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, your bra strap is getting in the way here.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “You were getting beat up.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - MAN 2: “No, fight louder! Call her a bitch! But I don't understand.”
  - “Kissed?! Is that true?! Yes, Peter, but I You son of a bitch! (GRUNTS) (PANTING) (GRUNTING) Everybody says, "We don't need a homeowners' association.”
  - “Hello? How'd you get this number? Don't you ever call here again! - (LINE CLICKS) - What the hell?! He just got mad and hung up.”
  - “(TIRES SCREECHING) What the hell? Peter, what are you doing here? Lois! Uh, uh I was I'm just, uh, shopping.”
  - “Are you talking to me? Damn right.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sometimes friends put wine out for each other.”

## S16 E1 — 1. Emmy-Winning Episode
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1601.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Tired of not winning an Emmy, Peter embarks on his own For Your Consideration campaign for Family Guy by making the show more like Emmy-winning shows - and no category is off limits.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “You guys aren't supporting my choice? Well, what do you expect, Peter? I-I mean a sex change operation? Why are you doing this? I'll tell you why I'm doing all of this.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm off the show? No, your penis is out.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “(GRUNTS) (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) (GUN CLICKS) I'll get help! (MUTTERING QUIETLY) (PHONE VIBRATES) (GASPS) Brian, call off this drone strike, Dad needs us.”
  - “I still want it just in case! Now take off all your clothes so we don't get blood on 'em when we kill that cop in the desert.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, I am pulling a heist at a meth lab.”
  - “Now, get me drugs, scummy drug dealer.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, yay! (CRYING) Man or woman, I'm a big fat joke.”

## S16 E2 — 2. Foxx in the Men House
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1602.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter becomes friends with a cool, handsome paramedic named Stryker Foxx. Wrapped up in his newfound "coolness," he soon dumps Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What are we drinking? Beer? Hey, Quagmire, how about one of your famous sexual stories? Take a hike, Peter.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Peter, what's wrong with your voice? I got punched in the throat at the Clam last night.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “"Same thing, bitch.”
  - “Otherwise, you're just some dick who hit a lady.”
  - “Oh, yeah? Well, then why did those teenagers on the way in say, "Cool wheelchair, dick"? Hey, look, Peter, if you're so embarrassed by us and you think we're losers, well, then we don't want to hang out with you, either.”
  - “Look out, eh? (SCREAMING) (BIRDS SQUAWKING) Oh! Damn it! Ah! Son of a bitch! (SCREAMING) (GRUNTING) (GROANS) I think I'm okay.”
  - “Oh, damn it, my head.”
  - “How many chicken fingers am I holding up, and do you want one? Three, and hell yeah! Mmm.”
  - “(MUSIC STOPS) What the hell was that? Lay off.”
  - “I treated them like crap.”
  - “This is crazy! Damn it.”
  - “Ah, crap! (SCREAMS) - Oh, my God! - Peter! Should I shoot him, make it go quicker? I got a shot.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “We were just four middle-aged men doing Ecstasy at a Mexican prom.”
  - “And you're not in heaven 'cause you're not holding a margarita.”

## S16 E3 — 3. Nanny Goats
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1603.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The Griffins get a nanny for the kids, courtesy of Lois' parents, which gives Peter and Lois the opportunity to reconnect.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “You know, Donna told me in the bathroom she and Cleveland haven't had sex in over three months.”
  - “" There's a used condom in the fireplace.”
  - “I'll just sleep with the light on.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Is that it? No! Futons, everyone's grandfather's golf clubs I-Is that it? No! Gay sex - What kind? - All of it! I have milked all the goats.”
  - “It's kind of sexy, I guess.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - ANNOUNCER: “We now return to Top Gun with only public domain music.”
  - “Will somebody turn off Top Gun?! (SONG STOPS) So obviously he bought a herd of goats, and now they've taken over the house.”
  - “Everybody Poops Blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - FYI: “My mom's not picking me up for a long time, because she's dead! Hey, Brian, you want a beer? Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon.”
  - “May I start you off with a cocktail? (CLEARS THROAT) You don't work here, do you? I do not.”
  - “Enjoying your wine? Oh, what an amazing night.”
  - “You come in late last night drunk and tell me to pack car for weekend getaway you book online.”

## S16 E4 — 4. Follow the Money
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1604.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Chris gets a special one-dollar bill for his birthday and quickly loses it, the dollar gets passed from character to character throughout Quahog.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna go have sweaty day-sex with my wife.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Can I get an iced coffee? Oh, no worries? All right, now, I see you've got large breasts.”
  - “I got to do laundry so I can stop hanging out in my underwear with a bunch of guys.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “(GUNSHOT) (BOTH SCREAM) (SHOTGUN COCKS) (BOTH SCREAM) (YELLS) (GUNSHOT, SHOTGUN COCKS) (SQUEAKING) Damn it.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “How does this bitch know my name? Bitch? Okay, ho.”
  - “(GUNSHOT) (BOTH SCREAM) (SHOTGUN COCKS) (BOTH SCREAM) (YELLS) (GUNSHOT, SHOTGUN COCKS) (SQUEAKING) Damn it.”
  - “(BIRDS CHIRPING) Look who's still standing, bitch.”
  - “Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! What the hell's he doing?! Sorry, Cleveland, he wanted a surprise party and this is how he thinks it works.”
  - “Hey! What the hell do you think you're ooh, a spoon! PETER: Okay, another car ride, another opportunity to practice my DJ ramp-ups.”
  - “Bonnie, save it for the dinner table! Crap, I don't have any change.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Wow, getting drunk in the morning.”
  - “You know, I bet you couldn't go a single day without booze.”
  - “All right, got some vodka and tampons.”
  - “(DRUMS BUILDING) - Tequila! - Motoring.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You, sir, are a racist and a rude one at that.”

## S16 E5 — 5. Three Directors
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1605.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: In a special anthology-style episode, Peter gets fired from his job at the brewery in the signature styles of three famous Hollywood film directors.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “(PAINED GRUNTING) (BLADES CLANKING) (PAINED GRUNTS) (SLOWED WHOOSHING) (JAMES BROWN'S "SEX MACHINE" PLAYING) - Get on up - Get on up - Get up - Get on up - Get up - Get on up - Get on up - Get on…”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, can I go home? Well, you're not really ready, but if it's for revenge, you can stab me with this scalpel - and then run out.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's suicide.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - PETER: “Who's that ugly son of a bitch? Peter, you're alive.”
  - “(ENGINE REVS) PETER: Hold on! Damn it, I'm in.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Anyway, our next director is Wes Anderson, a guy who makes you feel like you ate a pot brownie and woke up in a greeting card.”
  - “They're allergic to beer.”
  - “Our top story, stopping the Decepticons with beer? According to our sources, the search is underway for a man strong enough to throw a keg with enough force to save the Seven Wonders of the World.”

## S16 E6 — 6. The D in Apartment 23
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1606.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Brian posts an offensive tweet that goes viral and the rest of the Griffins are also treated as outcasts, he's forced to move out of the Griffin house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “I watch tons of black porn.”
  - “You screamed "black porn" at the top of your lungs in front of women and children.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I can't turn on my phone without strangers telling me to kill myself or that they're gonna kill my family.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “They're still pretty mad at me down at Dick's Sporting Goods.”
  - “Um, what's the name of this place? Dick's.”
  - MAN: “Did you get rid of it? PATRICIA: Why would I get rid of the big nail clipper? (GROANS) - MAN: 'Cause you're a bitch, that's why.”
  - “Leave me alone! I'm the self-righteous, liberal douchebag, not you! I've kissed a transsexual before! How many of you can say that?! Where's my (BLEEP) medal?! I am so far left, I'm spinning in circles, you (BLEEP).”
  - “(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) - Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna yell "Viva la Stool" like a young, white drunkard.”
  - “But I don't even have to look! (SHUDDERS) (QUAVERING): I don't even have to look! Hey, how come no one told me we were going to the Clam? Hey, Jerome, give me a beer.”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Are-are you a fan? You racist jerk! I hope you get foot-and-mouth disease! What the hell was that? - (ELECTRONIC CHIRPING) - Uh-oh.”
  - “Nobody does Not as long as you're living with that racist dog.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why am I so fat? I'm sorry, Brian, but this is the way it has to be.”

## S16 E7 — 7. Petey IV
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1607.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: On Thanksgiving weekend, Peter discovers an alternate ending in the Russian version of one of his favorite films and writes to Vladimir Putin, who comes to Quahog. Meanwhile, a strapped-for-cash Brian gets a job at a suicide hotline center and attempts to strike up a romance with a co-worker.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Weird sexual tension there.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I am The Penis, here with Buttocks.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “To show there are no hard feelings, anyone want to go to strip club and look at some cat emojis with me? - Hell yeah.”
  - “I'm up for the strip club.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Everyone knows that any American can beat up any Russian on any day of the week.”
  - “Says any American can beat up any Russian.”
  - “(GASPS) A conflict! You're going down! - Kick his ass, Peter! - Yeah, kick his ass! Punch his ass, Peter!”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “" (PHONE RINGS) Why don't you just take your first call? Suicide hotline.”
  - “Suicide is not a nine-to-five problem.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Get ready to eat it, Drago! (BELL DINGS) RUSSIAN ANNOUNCER: And Balboa is down! Drago wins! (CROWD CHEERING) - What the hell? - Son of a bitch!”
  - “Here's where it all goes to hell.”
  - “All right, you ready to watch Rocky IV? - Let's do it! - Yeah! Happy Dolph Lundgren Day! (STATIC) What the what the hell? Try blowing on it.”
  - “(BLOWING) - (STATIC) - Crap! It doesn't work! Well, we got to watch the movie.”
  - “Rocky IV! Rocky IV! Let's just go to the damn store.”
  - “That's her mom? Damn.”
  - “He did this! He planted that! Martha, I'm so sorr You bastard! (GRUNTING) Aah! My leg is broken! Only thing I can possibly do is lick it repeatedly.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Glorious cocaine.”
  - “Stewie is growing like a weed.”
  - “That's totally my thing! - (HORNS HONKING) - (ANGRY CLAMORING) Ah, the sun feels good on my drunk chest.”
  - “Let's go, let's go, let's go, wheels up, let's go! Oh, my God, she can smell the tiny bottles of booze.”

## S16 E8 — 8. Crimes and Meg's Demeanor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1608.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter encourages Meg to attend a high school party, where she takes up drinking, which both concerns and delights her father. Meanwhile, Brian begins spying on his neighbors and suspects Principal Shepherd of a crime.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Hi, everyone but him! OTHERS: Hi! Lou, I like you a lot, but I-I think that's the last tape of you having sex with your girlfriend I want to see.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, Stewie, what's the first rule of Fight Club? G-string underwear.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Oh, he did, did he? Son of a bitch.”
  - “Damn, that's hot! That was just lucky.”
  - “What the what the hell is going on over there? - Did he - (LINE RINGS) - Hello.”
  - “So, you plan on going back at that banana, huh? So the bastard killed his wife, and then reported her missing.”
  - “He got out! Ha, ha! Yes, Stewie! Oh, crap.”
  - “I-I have no idea where the hell we are! Oh, no, my cell phone's dead! I got a little bit of juice left, so we can either A, call someone, maybe they answer, maybe they can help, or B, we can definitely switch faces.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 8 moment(s)
  - “Peter, I think she's doing booze.”
  - “My little girl's a drunk! (SOBBING): Oh, my God, where did we go wrong? Meg, we need to talk.”
  - “Well, I can't talk to a drunk person if I'm sober.”
  - “Hey, Jerome, can I get a beer, please? But now I'm starting to sober up, so I'm gonna need one to keep an even playing field.”
  - “…Party all the time, party all the time My girl wants to party all the time Party all the time I buy you champagne and roses, put diamonds on your finger Diamonds on your finger Party all the time Ooh, ooh-ooh…”
  - “You got a hangover.”
  - “What can you do for a hangover? Well, Meg, so I don't have to think about my throbbing headache, I try to think of something else, like a riddle.”
  - “Booze is nothing but trouble, and you don't need it.”

## S16 E9 — 9. Don't Be a Dickens at Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1609.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 1/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In this special holiday episode, a selfish Peter loses his Christmas spirit and is visited by ghosts of Christmas past, present and future who take him on a journey around Quahog in the style of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “…head out the back! How he came from heaven and was born in a manger bed - To the windows! - Mary was his virgin mother Pure and mild Oh, my God, they got Quagmire!”
  - “You mean Dad? No, the fat guy who sleeps with Mom.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Now, let's see that penis! Yeah, see, again, if you read between the lines, she's flirting.”
  - “I mean, I love having this underwear, I just I just don't love why I have it.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “No! Wh-Where am I? What day is it? All the porn girls I follow on Instagram have Santa hats on.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Simpsn is a wife-beating murderer, right? Oh, right, was.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “For Chris, a special People magazine look-back at Robin Williams, 'cause he killed himself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You guys talking 'bout Durd? More champagne, miss? (CHUCKLES): Miss? Oh, my! It's been a long time since anybody's called me miss.”

## S16 E10 — Boy (Dog) Meets Girl (Dog)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1610.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: At the vet's office, Brian meets a female show dog named Ellie. Smitten with her, he enters a show dog competition, in which the winner gets to breed with her. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go to extreme measures to try to convince Chris that "Arthur Valentine" doesn't exist.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I have to have sex with whichever male dog wins, whoever that ends up being.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Yeah, and hopefully Bonnie and I'll do a sexy bath night like last year.”
  - “…do it! Quagmire?! What are you doing here? Oh, I have an all-access pass to anything in this town that's sex-related.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “So if you're looking to do a river murder, this could be your window.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “The winning bitch, for the tenth year in a row, is Katherine Heigl! - (CLICKER CLICKS) - Thank you, thank you.”
  - “The hell you are! No waiter of mine is gonna be gay! Peter, please.”
  - “Uh, you want to tell us what the holy hell that was? (SIGHS) I'm afraid it's something we made up that we finally need to deal with.”
  - “I better stop or - (POT CLANKING LOUDLY) - STEWIE: Happy Valentine's Day! CLEVELAND: Stop the damn banging!”
  - “What are you in for? Uh, I got this small cut, and they wanted to bandage it so I'd stop chewing the crap out of my foot.”
  - “Aw, that sucks.”
  - “I love chewing the crap out of my foot.”
  - “Damn it! Arthur Valentine? Chris! You're okay! But I saw him die.”

## S16 E11 — Dog Bites Bear
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1611.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Milestone 300th episodeStewie and Brian get into a friendship-ending fight after Brian commits a terrible act to one of Stewie's beloved toys. Meanwhile, Peter refuses to wash his hand after meeting his favorite breakfast cereal mascot, Boo Berry.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Like Africa and Asia had sex while Europe sat on a chair in the corner of the hotel room and watched.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, I'm gonna have middle-aged woman, boobs-falling-off-to-the-side sleep now.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Murderer! You killed Rupert.”
  - “Well, violent murderers can often be found at bus stations, so why am I surprised? You can't go to Vermont alone.”
  - “That's it! (GRUNTS) Leave! Me! Alone! Murderer!”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “No, you're being a little bitch.”
  - “Rupert always called you my "bitch.”
  - “Snoop Doggy Dick.”
  - “Bear-killing bastard.”
  - “(GRUNTING) (SIGHS) Damn it, Stewie, just just sit there, will ya? I'll-I'll get us up.”
  - “(BIRDS CHIRPING, THUNDER CRASHING) - What the hell is that? - My Boo Berry hand.”
  - “Well, how the hell was I supposed to know it was gonna upset you so much? How? How?! You saw me spend almost every single minute of every single day with Rupert since I was born! And you don't up-up, hang on, hang on.”
  - “Damn right it is, you joyless, fake-wisdom-spouting Hey.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, boy, you're hungover.”
  - “I-I was drunk.”
  - “So? If you were driving drunk and ran him over, would you still go to jail? Yes! You killed him.”

## S16 E12 — Send in Stewie, Please
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1612.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie gets sent to see his school's child psychologist, Dr. Cecil Pritchfield, for a surprising session, which causes Stewie to reveal major, never-before-told secrets about himself.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Go sleep on the floor where you belong, whore! - All right, well - Hey hey, Bri? Yeah? Would you mind maybe sleeping with me tonight? - Sure.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Mostly because I come across a lot of dicks.”
  - “If they don't give us a day off when he dies, I'm gonna be so pissed.”
  - “" - Damn it! - But, again, how would you know? - It's not as if you're - Okay, okay, we got it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…know how that one works To at least give the impression, in your Ralph Lauren shirts, holding your $20 cocktails, that you're both way more successful than you are.”
- Slut-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “(TAKES DEEP BREATH) (RAPPING): How does a bastard orphan Son of (HICCUPS) a whore And a Scotsman dropped in the middle Of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean By providence impoverished in…”
  - “She's just a useless old slut.”
  - “Go sleep on the floor where you belong, whore! - All right, well - Hey hey, Bri? Yeah? Would you mind maybe sleeping with me tonight? - Sure.”

## S16 E13 — V Is For Mystery
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1613.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In a special Dickensian-themed episode, Stewie and Brian are detectives who embark on solving a string of mysterious murders set in Victorian-era London.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “(WHIRRING) It's cutting-edge technology, Watson! ROBOTIC FEMALE VOICE: Exchange money for sexual services, guv'nor.”
  - “Meanwhile, two toothless, British homeless people had filthy sex in an alleyway.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 5 moment(s)
  - “All his victims were prostitutes whose names began with the letter "V.”
  - “All the prostitutes were killed by a left-handed assailant.”
  - “" And now I will disguise myself as a prostitute named Valerie.”
  - “So when do the strippers arrive? Watson, I don't know how to tell you this but the murderer we've been looking for it's your fiancée, Constance.”
  - “Constance would lead us away from England while you killed the last "prostitute" with the name "V.”
- Violence & injury — 8 moment(s)
  - “Oh, darn, there's been a murder and he's begging for my help.”
  - “(BAGPIPE PLAYING) Want to give it a whirl? ("HEART AND SOUL" PLAYING) How could he accomplish this murder from prison? He couldn't.”
  - “There are only two possible explanations: either there's a murderer who has copied the Scottish Brute's methods, or I put the wrong man away.”
  - “Who did you tell about the murders? Nae a soul, 'cause I dinna commit no murders.”
  - “Sorry we didn't catch the murderer, Holmes.”
  - “That was the vital clue that these murders were for my benefit.”
  - “He's got a gun.”
  - “From the angle you were aiming the gun, I extrapolated the path of the bullet, and triangulated the deflection point Uh, is this is this speech for me? Because he's dead.”

## S16 E14 — Veteran Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1614.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Peter and the guys get caught pretending to be military veterans and are found guilty of the Stolen Valor Act, a judge sentences them to join the U.S. Coast Guard.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I'm Kenny Loggins and you're a groupie I brought here for sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “But, Quagmire, there's spring break boobs everywhere! Come on, guys, I mean it.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Thank you for protecting us and for posting revenge porn on Marine Corps message boards.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “We track down the - (BLENDER WHIRRING) Did you see all of those guns and weapons those evil frat boys had? I sure did.”
  - “(GUNS CLICKING) Ah, crap, we're gonna die.”
  - “Hey, where'd you get the machine gun? From the coastal patrol cutter.”
  - “"Machine gun" is item 49 of the 160-point inspection.”
  - “I can punch a big octopus a really long way.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “): Final boarding call for the "Are We Ready To Attack, We Are, And Many People Will Die" booze cruise.”

## S16 E15 — The Woof of Wall Street
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1615.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian convinces Stewie to teach him how to invest in the stock market after learning Stewie has a knack for making money from it. Meanwhile, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe look after the Drunken Clam while Jerome is away.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I don't know, Stewie, if you ask me, the stock market's just a rigged game where the top one-percent make out like bandits, and regular people get hurt.”
  - “Weren't you charged with sexually abusing a 16-year-old? Elmo's accuser recanted and admitted the relationship was consensual.”
  - “Where is the mother, and what kind of sex does she like to have?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's the sound of a mama being stabbed right in the baby.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'll have a whiskey - Rum - sour.”
  - “This wine is an artist.”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - “What?! - Stewie, adults are allowed to say racist things because of traffic.”
  - “Qué? - I allowed to say racist things because of traffic.”

## S16 E16 — Family Guy' Through the Years
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1616.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Family Guy is reimagined as a series that's been on the air for 60 years and, in a special retrospective, it looks back at the cultural events and issues that were tackled on the show in the 1950s, '60s and '70s.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Help! Someone! Tim Conway was sleeping with half the Apple Dumpling Gang.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “My penis would even play "Fortunate Son" while I was visiting a whorehouse.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “(SPITS) - Murderer! - Hey, show some respect.”
  - “" Okay, you're threatening to punch me so hard I'm gonna fly to the moon? Like-like it's funny to hit me so violently my body will fly out of the atmosphere? Well, it's not funny anymore.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Why not, Dad? Is it any worse than your "three X's drawn on the jug" corn whiskey moonshine? What?! No son of mine drink anything but rice wine.”
  - “("A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN" BY WALTER MURPHY PLAYING) (PEOPLE GRUNTING) Yeah, we'll have a round of beers for the table.”

## S16 E17 — Switch the Flip
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1617.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To help get Brian's life in order, Stewie and Brian swap bodies using a machine that Stewie invents, but chaos quickly ensues around Quahog when the machine goes haywire.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “It's the couples' sex seminar where the husband learns how to give his wife an orgasm.”
  - “Lois signed us up for some perverse, pee-pee-related class on the female orgasm.”
  - “Yeah, well, why do I have the overwhelming urge to eat Cheetos and masturbate in the woods? Well, because it's 10:30 a.”
  - “Are there any unemployed professors here? Who haven't had sex with a student or tweeted about assassinating the president? All right, it's you.”
  - “Wait, are you saying we have to have sex this weekend? Yup.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “My research shows that every seven minutes, a professor is fired for having sex with one of his students.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “" There's a place in France Where I do my mirror dance There's a hole in the wall where the men can see it all But the women don't care 'Cause they're dancin' in their underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Cleveland! Peter, you name-remembering son of a gun.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Help! She's trying to eat me! Get back here! You owe me a hundred dollars! Anton, we got a runner! You better pay my wife, bitch.”
  - “Damn, I owe Chris five bucks.”
  - “What the hell is all this crap? Oh, just stuff Bran suggested I buy.”
  - “What the hell have you been complaining about? I can't believe we actually switched bodies, Stewie.”
  - “" Ignore that! STUDENT 3: He didn't know what a frontispiece was! STUDENT 2: Professor Griffin sucks! (INDISTINCT WHISPERING) Frontispiece.”
  - “That must mean - Everyone's swapped bodies! - The whole town swapped bodies! Damn it, I was gonna say "the whole town.”
  - “STEWIE: Crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “This is not helping my hangover.”
  - “The Hangover Part III available for instant download.”
  - “(EXHALES) I realize I've wasted most of my life being a pathetic jerk.”

## S16 E18 — HTTPete
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1618.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To help promote the brewery to millennials, Peter adopts the millennial lifestyle, and his methods soon attract the attention of a high-powered Silicon Valley executive.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “What about public masturbators? Especially public masturbators.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “How could you do that? This is the most irresponsible thing that I've ever PARKER: Although I was incensed by this man, I had to admire his courage for leaving his penis out the entire time I was yelling at him.”
  - “Peter, why is he naked in there? It's an environmental statement.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “" Son of a bitch! Well, I'm glad you got the Internet H-Hold on.”
  - “JOE and PETER and CLEVELAND: Whoa! What the hell, you guys? I was talking.”
  - “Oh, my God, what the hell is that? Hello, Griffin family.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “This time with beer.”
  - “How about some fruit in the beer? No, guys, we need social media-specific plans to reach a younger audience.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Or, as they say in Italian, molto homo.”

## S16 E19 — The Unkindest Cut
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1619.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Quagmire's most treasured body part gets cut off in a freak accident and he is forced to learn how to live without it. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian search for Mort after learning there is a $10,000 reward for turning him into the police for his involvement in a drug scam.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “You call this fun? You're talking to a wooden doll to make up for the fact that you can't have sex anymore.”
  - “I feel like everyone watching knows I'm incapable of pleasing my wife sexually.”
  - “Damn it, Joe, stop with the sex birds! Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, guys, but this is a disaster.”
  - “I'm not sure about urination or sex, but otherwise, yes.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Oh, my God! Quagmire lost his penis! All right, we got to let all the other boats know.”
  - “What is it again? White flag for "friendly," black for "not friendly," blue flag for "penis loss"? Oh, man, that sucks.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I've had this computer blocked so you can discover all the other exciting things - on the Internet besides porn.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's like knives are stabbing into my crotch.”
  - “[GUN COCKS.]”
  - CHRIS: “I think it's the guy talking! Quagmire, have you lost your mind?! I'm holding this gun until you start thinking straight.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “[GUN COCKS.]”
  - “All right, who's up for waterskiing?! - Hell yeah! - All right! Yeah, let's do it! Oh, that sounds amazing! I love boats.”
  - “Ah, hell, we're gonna be on the Internet.”
  - “Damn it! Why did I even open the door?! Ugh! Getting excited.”
  - GUN: “Are you really gonna just sit there after all the crap white people have given you your whole life? You know, maybe you should hold this, Peter.”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - “…a Fam ily Guy! Is it me, or does David Ortiz look just like the mom on Good Times? - Oh, Peter, that's racist.”
  - “That's not racist.”

## S16 E20 — Are You There God? It's Me, Peter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1620.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter falls into a coma, Peter meets God face-to-face, which leads him to ask some of life's tough questions.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - “Okay, well if you don't get up, I won't have sex with you.”
  - “We found a used condom on the sidewalk.”
  - “A used condom.”
  - “Someone had sex? I got to touch another guy's hand to celebrate.”
  - “You were Henry, the eighth guy to have sex with Rock Hudson at one of his pool parties.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on T.”
  - “Yeah! Peter, come out here and high five us over the sex someone else had.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “I know how you always wanted kittens, so guess what I brought home? This very pregnant, about-to-burst, distended-nipples street cat.”
  - “One of the shows is actually two boobs fighting.”
  - “And there's panties nearby.”
  - PETER: “Hey, Chris, you like pictures of naked children because you're gross and weird.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Thank you, God! Bless you, my child pornography fan.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “…foreign tower Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn Lock him in uniform and book burning, bloodletting Leonard Bernstein Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom - How was it?”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Am I Am I really dead? Well, if you weren't dead, would you feel nothing when I do this? Ah! Son of a bitch! Oh, you know what? That's right, it takes a day.”
  - “Hey, do atheists go to hell? - No.”
  - “How about people who say they are not religious, but they are spiritual? Straight to hell, to the boiler room of hell.”
  - “(COMPUTER TONES PLAY) My guy sucks.”
  - “I'll stick with this pile of crap I already have.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I put an Ambien in his beer, so he's out cold.”
  - “I saw you put Ambien in your beer, too.”
  - “("TEQUILA SONG" BY THE CHAMPS PLAYING) Vodka! Okay, kids.”

## S17 E1 — 1. Married... With Cancer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1701.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian meets and quickly falls in love with a woman named Jess, who reveals she has cancer. After she receives devastating news regarding her diagnosis, Brian proposes marriage to her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “I'm not just out for sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “It may have started in my penis, but it spread to my heart.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Shut up, dick.”
  - “He called me a dick earlier.”
  - “Somebody call 911! Damn it, Fox.”

## S17 E2 — 2. Dead Dog Walking
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1702.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian's marriage to Jess is not what he envisioned. At the suggestion of Peter, Brian lets himself go, causing Jess to make a surprising decision.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “What the what kind of brazen thievery is this? Where'd you get this? Chris Griffin! You get in here! What is this? Um robot penis? Seriously, I'm absolutely jonesing right now, so give it back.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, for 200 bucks, I'll strangle you with my bare hands and stare into your eyes as you die.”
- Swearing — 10 moment(s)
  - “Now look what you did, you little son of a bitch.”
  - “Oh, good job with that, dick.”
  - “How does it feel, Meg, you frigging town crier? - MEG: You're such a bitch.”
  - “You guys talking about sheds? - Hell yes.”
  - “Yeah, but where's Chris going? - I have no idea! He's completely off the grid! Damn it! He can't hide forever.”
  - “I want to be a douchebag.”
  - “He's at a douchebag vaping party.”
  - “(LOUD CRACK) - Oh! Oh Holy crap! Brian, you okay? (GRUNTING LOUDLY) Keep it down up there! (GRUNTING STOPS) Holy crap, Hal, what's wrong with you? (CHUCKLES) You love it.”
  - “We accidentally switched jackets, not unlike that episode of The Brady Bunch when Greg (COUGHS) Oh, damn it, Chris, why do your lies have to take so damn long?”
  - “What the hell are you doing here? Brian, I can explain.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You win! - All right! What do I win? - Another beer! More recently, and better, on Family Guy PETER: All right, you ready? All right, one, two, three.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Whew! Must have been that fat chick I ate.”

## S17 E3 — 3. Pal Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1703.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To Stewie's surprise, he quickly befriends a boy his age, but is devastated when he realizes he isn't invited to his birthday party. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois attend a self-empowerment seminar.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Grown men who have never had sexual relations fly them over people's houses to try and see something.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “(CHUCKLES) Gun? Oh, that's-that's not that's not a gun.”
  - “These are guns.”
  - “Well, I hope you don't use your guns to kill your mom or do anything bad.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “And you were such a jealous little bitch that you had to ruin the one friendship I really cared about.”
  - “Here, want to play with my toy? - What the hell is this? - It's a magic wand.”
  - “Soda! Sticky balls! (CHILDREN SCREAMING) (LAUGHING, THEN SCREAMING) Damn you all.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Growing one carrot Taking up time Filling up the day with nonsense Vodka in the bushes (HUMMING) Making it better, making it bright What a day Think I'll check the mail.”
  - “Where's the bush vodka? (LEAVES RUSTLING) Where is it? Where is it?! Ah, there it is.”

## S17 E4 — 4. Big Trouble in Little Quahog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1704.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: After Brian teases Stewie for being small, Stewie invents a shrinking machine that results in both of them shrinking to a microscopic size.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I was hoping to kill myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Let's just enjoy our wine.”

## S17 E5 — 5. Regarding Carter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1705.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Lois receives a surprising birthday present from her father, Carter Pewterschmidt, that leads to an unfortunate accident leaving him dependent on Lois and the Griffin's care.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Where was that during birthday sex? Maybe I would have finished.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “Meg and Chris, you twist his nipples in opposite directions.”
  - “On Mad Men, I was Christina Hendricks' bra.”
  - “I'm Jon Hamm's underwear.”
  - “My breasts are muddied up.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, ideas how do we make Carter mean again? Why don't we hire a prostitute to bring him almost to completion? Okay, don't love that my daughter came out of the gates with that.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “A gun? - Yeah, you love guns.”
  - “I'm trying to explain that guns are hazardous and unsafe, not have a conversation about a tepid 1990s Canadian sketch group.”
  - “You're wrong about guns and comedy.”
  - “So, what'd you do with the gun? - Gun? Yeah, my father gave me a gun as a present yesterday.”
  - “Beat him! Beat him in six-eight time.”
  - “So if you want to beat him in Mario Kart, this is your chance.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It was the '80s, so he was always doing cocaine-and-sushi business meetings.”
  - “You know, you guys made me realize that I wasted my whole life caring about money, and I'm not giving up another second.”

## S17 E6 — 6. Stand by Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1706.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Meg saves Stewie from a choking incident, Stewie makes it his personal mission to create a better life for Meg. Meanwhile, Chris is sent to a vocational school.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Come to thy heart as that within my breast.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I've just looked at some porn, and I need you guys to give me some assisted relief.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “(AIR HISSING) Oh, my God, Chris! That's silly, but it's still murder! Relax.”
  - “(FLIP-FLOPS SLAPPING) - I'm sorry for your loss.”
  - “(RAPID SLAPPING) All right, Chris.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, guys, can you hold my phone and point it over this way? I want to live-stream my suicide.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “(DEEP VOICE): O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied? (GRUNTING, PANTING) (NORMAL VOICE): What satisfaction canst thou have tonight? (GRUNTS) That son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell? - Sorry, I choked.”
  - “(DOOR CREAKS) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) What have you got there? A guy letting me back into school says what? - What? Damn it! - Okay, see you on Monday.”

## S17 E7 — 7. The Griffin Winter Games
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1707.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To the surprise of all the Griffins, Meg makes the U.S. Olympic team as a biathlete and competes in the Winter Olympics.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Now what's that? It's the practice of erotic sexual denial.”
  - “And no edging! RON HOWARD: But he did continue edging, bringing himself to the verge of sexual pleasure, only to stop at the last moment.”
  - “We only had awesome sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, you flush underwear in train toilet?! Yeah, they, uh, th-they were done.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “You done with your pocket bits? It's freezing! So the biathlon combines cross-country skiing - and rifle shooting? - Yeah.”
  - “(STARTING GUN FIRES) SPECTATOR: Go, everyone but her.”
  - “(CHEERING) Wait, before you kill me, can you at least give me an extra bullet so I can pretend to catch one in my teeth? (GUNS CLICKING) MEG: Lacey Chabert!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Here's a beer.”

## S17 E8 — 8. Con Heiress
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1708.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie and Brian compete for the inheritance of a wealthy, older heiress. Meanwhile, Peter and Chris battle for Mr. Herbert's affection.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Listen, I-I know there's been some bad blood between us, but I-I promise, it won't happen again.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “…Kincaid Winslow Coors Oviatt Marlborough Pembroke Huffington Bush Mellon Sinclair Mellencamp Starbucks Van Dyke Third Montgomery Marriott Barrington Chadsworth Big League Chew Chesterfield Kensington Booth Bishop…”

## S17 E9 — 9. Pawtucket Pete
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1709.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: The Pawtucket Brewery hires new bosses, who decide to change the company's mascot. In an attempt to be crowned the new face of Pawtucket Ale, Peter and Brian go head-to-head.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “mu TV ANNOUNCER: We now return to Titanic 2, narrated by Al Gore.”
  - “Iceberg, right ahead! AL GORE: But due to man's excessive use of fossil fuels, climate change had rendered the iceberg nothing more than a small cube.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “(SNIFFS) Pee laced with meth.”
  - “We need you to taste test our new varieties of seasonal beers, which will be coming down this conveyor belt.”
  - “You know, a-a guy who'd drink a beer on a toilet.”
  - “(BEER CAN OPENS, SLURPING) Griffin? PETER: No.”
  - “But first, hey, hungover dads, want to go to a parade? Does that sound like fun on a Sunday morning? Not just being worried about your kids, but everyone else's kids around you, too? For more, here's Tricia Takanawa.”

## S17 E10 — Hefty Shades of Gray
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1710.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After Peter's hair turns white from a ghost-hunting adventure in his house with the guys, his new look grabs the attention of local news anchor Tom Tucker. Under Tucker's guidance, he learns the ways of reporting fake news, and soon becomes a senior crime analyst on Quahog's Channel 5 News. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie attempt to help Chris improve his dating game.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Wh-What are you doing? I'm taking this, and we are gonna help you start thinking about sex like a normal teenager.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “What are we doing here? When I was young, seeing these half-naked mannequins was all I needed to get me going.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “You have 28 windows of porn playing simultaneously? Sometimes I pretend I'm at the security desk at the mall and everyone at the mall is banging each other.”
  - “Chris, don't you see? You're so desensitized by all this porn, you're-you're not even interested in actual girls.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “It says it says my house is a murder house.”
  - “(THUNDER CRASHING) Okay, guys, now, the murder took place down here in the basement, so it's probably our best shot at finding something.”
  - “What are you doing out here? Well, now that I've got white hair, I fix my car in slow motion in an ad for a supplemental blood thinner.”
  - “(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) - I took Zanbrex for over 15 years, till I learned the benefits of once-daily Sanguelto, a latest-generation blood thinner.”
  - “How would you like to do what you just did every night? Wipe a bloody booger under the desk? No, I'm asking you to join us full-time to be our permanent senior analyst.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Probably some naggy bitch, right? - Joseph! - You know, they say when someone dies violently like that, - their spirit can linger.”
  - “What the hell? Mine's way below what you guys's are worth.”
  - “Are there any spirits present that would like to communicate with us? (THUNDER RUMBLES) - (PETER SCREAMS) - (THUMPING) QUAGMIRE: What the hell was that?”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, now, I have to warn you fellas The only spirits I'm used to chasing are whiskey and tequila.”
  - “Farewell, and thank you for feeding me champagne and shrimp all day.”

## S17 E11 — Trump Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1711.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The Griffins move to Washington D.C. where Peter is hired as the new White House Press Secretary.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “(GRUNTING) (YELLING) (GRUNTS) Peter! Catch! Kill him in front of me, and I sex you.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Your nipples are bleeding.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “…is the son of a felon who went to prison for blackmailing his brother-in-law by entrapping him with a prostitute and then mailing a copy of the tape to his own sister!”
  - “President! What would your third wife, the soft-core girl-on-girl porn lady, think about this? Or the actual porn star your lawyer paid hush money to? I'm so sorry we didn't believe you earlier, sweetie.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Dibs on the bedroom in which an intern got murdered.”
  - “Aw, I want the intern murder bedroom! There's no need to fight, kids.”
  - “An intern has been murdered in each of the bedrooms.”
  - “He touched my daughter, but I punched him, like, a hundred times, so we're fine now.”
  - “I punched you, like, a million times.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Folks, to drink this evening, we've got red wine, white wine, and a fifth of bourbon.”
  - “What?! - I said - (JANGLING CONTINUES) - I've spent $65 million on vacation homes and daytime wine.”

## S17 E12 — Bri, Robot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1712.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian worries about the legacy he's leaving behind, so Stewie makes a robot duplicate as a living biography.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - TV ANNOUNCER: “We now return to Allison Janney in Hello, Sexy.”
  - “I'll be a monkey's uncle before I accept a sexual favor.”
  - “Also, Joe, we got pictures of you getting a sexual favor a while back, so now you got to drop the charges.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “All these women are prostitutes.”
  - “But it all just goes to show that basically every licensed massage therapist in this country is a prostitute.”
  - “You can pretty much do whatever you want with any masseuse ever, because they're all prostitutes.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'd-I'd kill myself if I sounded like that.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, can robots do cocaine? - What? Nothing, I was just, you know.”
  - “Can they get cocaine? Hello, The Girls Aren't the Girls in the Ad Massage.”

## S17 E13 — Trans-Fat
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1713.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter is mistakenly identified as transgender, which leads to an unexpected event and an important learning lesson.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “And since the company was paying for your medical care anyway, we fulfilled your letter of medical intent for your sex reassignment surgery.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “She commits murders in it.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “(INTRO TO DAVID BOWIE'S "QUEEN BITCH" PLAYS) She's an old-time ambassador Of sweet-talking, night-walking games But she's a queen and such are queens That your laughter is sucked in their brains.”
  - “And that bitch stole my hairstyles! Well, hello.”
  - “…It's right in front of you, Peter! - (GASPS) Right here? - CLEVELAND AND QUAGMIRE: No! - Oh, over here? - Damn it, Peter, you're gonna miss it!”
  - “You can just read on an impossibly bright iPad while I toss and turn in a pissy way.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Four beers, please.”
  - “Anything else, fellas? PETER: Uh, yeah, I'll have a beer.”
  - “…press "lobby"! Now, Peter, one of the perks of being a woman is that you get to go out and have a white wine, squeak-fart lunch with your friends.”

## S17 E14 — Family Guy Lite
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1714.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After a mishap at work, Peter decides to take his health more seriously and diet with the help of Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. When Lois takes a stab at writing a romantic fantasy novel, a curious Brian and Stewie investigate to find out who she might have a crush.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Yes, I'd like to enroll in a couple of classes so I can have sex with girls not old enough to get into bars.”
  - “Peter, say you're not gonna have sex with me.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “"Louise's mind was racing in anticipation "of the dirty hay sex that was gonna most definitely happen.”
  - “Sexy, huh? No, seems like a hassle, and expensive.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “The play with Harry Potter's penis? Just my trusty steed here.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “A Stable Affair by Lois Griffin.”
  - “Lois is writing a romance novel about a woman who is unhappy with her husband and begins to have a torrid affair with a caped lover who has horses.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “"They spent the next 18 minutes "fighting off sneezes, in the throes of ecstasy.”
  - “They snort a row of live ants like cocaine.”
  - “But first I need to pick up this wine that Lois mentioned in her story.”
  - “Where's that part about the wine? "The doors magically opened.”
- Fat-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “This means I'm the work fatty.”
  - “Peter, you got to lose weight.”
  - “All right, Peter, today we start helping you lose weight.”

## S17 E15 — No Giggity, No Doubt
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1715.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: When the guys volunteer to chaperone the high school prom, Quagmire hits it off with Courtney only to discover that she is his daughter. To his and the gang's surprise, Quagmire makes a serious effort to embrace parenting Courtney, joining Peter and Meg on an ill-fated father-daughter camping trip.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, how many of you kids are on the horny drugs? I'm a cop.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, arm's length, dirty porno lovers! So, going stag tonight, Meg? Oh, no, I brought someone.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's in your blood.”
  - “Are you eating an apple with a knife? God, that's always so forced.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm beginning to think those vodka cranberries may have had alcohol in them.”

## S17 E16 — You Can't Handle the Booth
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1716.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In a special episode, the Griffins provide DVD commentary on a recent episode and reveal never-before-told drama between Peter and Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “And, Brian, you've had sex with more hot women than a real dog could ever reasonably expect.”
  - STEWIE: “Is is that a euphemism for lesbian sex? SARAH: I don't think I've met everyone.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Then I find out you were married before? I mean, what else don't I know? PETER (SIGHS): Well, if we're being honest, Lois, you're really bad at having sex when I'm drunk.”
- Slut-shaming — 3 moment(s)
  - “They're all skanks.”
  - “"Getting new phones was a worse idea than a skank robbery.”
  - “PETER: Right, skank robbery.”

## S17 E17 — Island Adventure
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1717.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In search of Stewie's cherished big wheel tricycle, that Peter threw out, Stewie and Brian embark on an adventure to "Garbage Island," a giant floating mass of trash out in the sea. Meanwhile, Lois tries to help Quagmire elevate his dating game, as he courts a middle-aged woman.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “To be with this skull sexually, or not to be with this skull sexually.”
  - “That is the question I answered when I was with this skull sexually a little while ago.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're still trying to bang that 44-year-old? - What are you sending her? - Mostly porn.”
  - “I'm gonna give you a name, and you tell me if it's the name of a Yankee Candle or a porn star.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “(GROANING): Oh! Aah! Aah! (SPLASHING) KIDNEY STONE PHILLIPS: Or was it murder? - Hey, Doug.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “'Sup? How the hell did you get here? Oh, I, uh I-I fell off a booze cruise.”
  - “My plan is to attach six Jimmy Buffett margarita machines to it, which should be able to propel us home.”
  - “From the moment we arrived, I've either been drunk or ejaculating.”

## S17 E18 — Throw It Away
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1718.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: After Lois reads a new book on the joys of decluttering, she challenges the rest of the Griffins to throw anything out of the house that does not spark joy. While all starts out well, Lois soon takes the decluttering to a surprising extreme.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Everybody thinks they can kick me out? Well, who gets the last laugh now? I get to sleep with all my stuff in a storage unit on the highway access road.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “(GROANS) TV ANNOUNCER: If you love Game of Thrones on HBO, you'll love Cinemax's Boob Dragons.”
  - “But - Get out of my house! You know, Lois, one could argue that your bra is clutter.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “Where could she be? You don't think she killed herself, do you? We're gonna need professional help.”
  - “It's a suicide note.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “How about a clear path to dinner, bitch.”
  - “LOIS (IN DISTANCE): Ow! What the hell was that?! Oh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You drunk already, bro? What's your next fake writing project, a rap opera about Grover Cleveland? (CHUCKLES): No, Lois, that would be ridiculous.”
  - “I'm making wine.”

## S17 E19 — Girl, Internetted
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1719.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: When Meg suddenly becomes internet famous, she and an excited Peter work together to build her following and create content for her new image that revolves around unhealthy eating. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie revel in a new ride while Brian's car gets repaired.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Chopping up and snorting Pancresta may amplify and/or enhance sexual experience.”
  - “(SNIFFS) Pancresta is not for everyone, just the sexy people.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Uh, I think I'm gonna get murdered.”
  - “But I need to draw a little more blood for the lab.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you have a problem with addiction, do not take Pancresta, as smoking Pancresta may mimic the otherworldly high of heroin.”

## S17 E20 — Adam West High
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1720.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Brian's proposition to rename Quahog's high school "Adam West High," to honor the late Mayor West, is successful, he feels encouraged to run for office as Quahog's new mayor. The race takes a turn when Quagmire campaigns against Brian for the open seat.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Quagmire, you're a dirty sex fiend.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You have anything to eat in here? Yeah, there's some edible underwear in that bag over there.”
  - “(SNIFFING) You know, this underwear's not bad.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Strip club lunch regular.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Do you need me to walk you to your car in case the studio audience guy shows up? No, he killed himself in my downstairs shower.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “(INDISTINCT CHATTER) That son of a bitch.”
  - “" You son of a bitch! (HORN HONKING) You idiot! He's allergic to getting hit in the head! (BOTH SCREAMING) Oh, my God, we're gonna die! Calm down, Brian.”
  - “(CROWD GASPS OVER SPEAKERPHONE) - Damn it! The only thing that's left to do now is for you to pay the normal $1,000 principal meeting fee.”
  - “Ah, damn it! Oh, I couldn't do that.”
  - “Let's cut the crap.”

## S18 E1 — 1. Yacht Rocky
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1801.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the brewery announces it will be firing one employee, Peter is nervous he will be the one let go. In order to calm his nerves, the family departs on a Yacht Rock cruise that doesn't go as expected.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I would murder my family for one hour with Corinne.”
  - “I'm putting money - Here's my gun.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “Cruise, bitches.”
  - “(PHONE CHIMES) You son of a bitch.”
  - “Maybe we can try to cut our way out (SCREAMING) (SHOUTS) MEG: Hey, you sons of bitches! This is Chad! He's my boyfriend.”
  - “Carrying an ice tray from the freezer to the sink is like ringing - the damn dinner bell for arm hairs.”
  - “Well, this sucks now.”
  - “It's right by where the seagulls crap.”
  - “You must know a lot about crap.”
  - “Aah! Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “How much wine have you had tonight? Maybe we could hang out with that nice couple - we met the other day.”
  - “What? That's that's the wine talking.”
  - “Grab some cocktail sauce on your way.”

## S18 E2 — 2. Bri-Da
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1802.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and his friends are sick of forgetting the million-dollar business ideas they come up with while drinking, so they strap on Joe's police body cams to record their every move. Meanwhile, Quagmire is trying to come to terms with an unexpected family development.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “What do you say? PETER: Does anyone other than Robert have an offer? Wait, why are only three of us on Shark Tank? Yeah, where's Quagmire? Oh, my God, is that Quagmire, you hooked up.”
  - “Like, I know Brian was squeamish about sleeping with a trans woman before, but it's 2019 now.”
  - “Listen, Dad, the first time you hooked up with Brian, it was awful, I hated it.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Well, it has to be for sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “And how's he doing? Still have his penis? No, he doesn't.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Excuse me, ma'am, no porn at the bar.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Loud trucks, guns.”
  - “Punch a baby.”
  - “What're you talking about? I beat him.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - REPORTER: “Is this being treated as a suicide? Again, I can't confirm.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Yeah! Six points, bitches.”
  - “Damn it, I'm sick of us always forgetting our great ideas when we're drinking.”
  - “(BEEP) Where the hell do you think you're going? PETER: I told you, I'm going to the Clam with the guys.”
  - “What the hell were we doing here? PETER: Oh, this must have been when we were jumping around to "Jump Around," like the song asked us to.”
  - “" This sucks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Forget which beer can is your ashtray.”
  - “You will not be the fattest person there, and if you are, get that shirt off! Come get your picture taken with Tila Tequila, and smoke a cigarette with her.”
  - “Beer in a bag.”
  - “All right, Peter, you're so great, why don't you give us an idea? Okay, you know how they put ice in urinals? Well, what happens to that ice at the end of the day? It's wasted.”

## S18 E3 — 3. Absolutely Babulous
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1803.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Can I have sex? - No.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Have you ever had condomless sex with a man? Okay, test over.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Wow, what a dick.”
  - “Brian, are you ready for my grand creation? - Serve it up, bitch.”
  - “(LAUGHTER) Damn it, Griffin, you've been staring at that menu for five minutes, and you peed your pants.”
  - “Also, I am German and wouldn't mind watching you crap.”
  - “Okay, now I know you're full of crap, because everyone else loves it.”
  - “Damn it, Peter, you ruined the game! Peter, perhaps the word you were looking for is "forgotten.”
  - “Why the hell would I do that? If you want to win her back, maybe, for once, you try to fit into her world.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 6 moment(s)
  - “This calls for champagne.”
  - “Hey, what do you say we ditch this stuffy place - and head to the Clam? - The Drunken Clam? Why, I haven't been there in decades.”
  - “Sounds like you've wasted your entire life.”
  - “Delicious beer, but, still, ours is the life I want, and you are the man I want.”
  - “(CREAKING) Well, I didn't pay for my beer, but I left a hell of a tip.”
  - “Get drunk, go upstairs and weird out the kids.”

## S18 E4 — 4. Disney's The Reboot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1804.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The network decides that it's time to explore some unique ways to reboot the series. When three versions of the reboots are shown to a focus group, the feedback takes some surprising turns.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “(LAUGHTER) Masturbating, yes.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “(SLOW, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) FEMALE SINGER: Ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh It's a show for teens A sexy show for teens Something's not normal But what does normal mean In a world that's on fire?”
  - “Hey, who left their gender fluid in the shower? (SLOW, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) (THUNDER RUMBLING) FEMALE SINGER: Sexy rain Sexy rain.”
  - “You can either continue wearing shoes in the house or continue having sex with this age-defying Eastern physique.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'm gonna go get some air and pebble-up my nipples.”
  - “"And if you're impressed by the size of "Alexander Skarsgard's penis, that doesn't make you gay, right?" - (POUNDING ON GLASS) - PETER: Answer him!”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “How about Young Family Guy? How about I murder your whole family? - What about BoJack Horseman? - Hard no.”
  - “Matter of fact, we filmed one back when I was an all-setup- no-punch-line comedian.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “So, based on that one episode featuring Lois, how many of you would likely watch a second? LOIS: Son of a bitch! Anything else? Huh, 76 in Santa Fe right now.”
  - “Patty, what's wrong? Why aren't you in bitch class? It's your sister Meg.”
  - “Yeah! - Gross! -Damn it!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…person is Smarmy Excuse me, where do I put this briefcase full of money? Uh, who are you? I'm president of Wine and Paint Night Incorporated.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, that's gay.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh! - No way! - He ate it! - People will eat anything! 50 bucks says the fat girl eats a third Big Beef 'n Cheddar.”

## S18 E5 — 5. Cat Fight
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1805.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Quagmire opens a cat café in town, Brian decides to take a stand to get the café shut down. Meanwhile, when Meg and Brian get in trouble at school, Lois becomes nervous and decides they need to go to church camp in order to find their way.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “What do you mean? I mean that uh I've always been about sex and seducing women, but you know what? Someday I'm gonna be dead.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I also didn't bring one of them laser guns from Ghostbusters.”
  - “Jesus has guns, germs and steel.”
  - “Son of a gun, it was a crayon.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You! You son of a bitch! This is all your fault! - What the? - Ha-ha! (BOTH GRUNTING) (CAR HORN HONKS) You thirsty, boy? Yeah, you're a thirsty boy.”
  - “(CATS MEWING) What the what the hell is that?”
  - “Go to hell, Brian.”
  - “" - Damn it, Brian.”
  - “" Damn it, Brian, get out of here.”
  - “Ugh, Mom, this place sucks.”
  - “(SINISTER MUSIC PLAYING) - (MEOWING) - Okay, who's ready for some breakf? Oh, crap, another one died.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You got any booze in that bag, mister? - No, sir.”

## S18 E6 — 6. Peter & Lois' Wedding
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1806.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The Wi-Fi goes out in the Griffin house, leaving the family with nothing to do for the evening. In order to keep the family entertained, Peter and Lois decide to tell the kids the story of how they met and fell in love in the '90s.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Well, it was the 1990s, the decade of Viagra but also Lorena Bobbitt, so it was kind of a yay-boo period for penises.”
  - “There's also, like, a 90% chance you'll hook up, but really, no, don't do it.”
  - “Even if you don't hook up, you don't care.”
  - “He looks like if Marc Maron had sex with a scarecrow and gave birth to a baby made of hemp.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “And he caught it through heterosexual sex contact? Well, that is magic.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “You've got male porn! Shh, shh, shh! Peter, quit trying to flirt with that clearly girlfriend of yours and come watch giant box TV with us! PETER: We all watched The X-Files, which would be Fox's last hit show.”
  - “Where's Dad? AOL GUY: You've got male porn! Peter, get in here and finish the story! Sorry, I was just watching some guy take it in the AOL.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “He cheated on you! No daughter of mine is going to marry a cheater! Daddy's right.”
  - “I was in love with you, too, but then you cheated on me.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “…talk to you privately? (LOUD EXPLOSION) What is it, Peter? Before you marry Tom, what's the Mortal Kombat blood code?”
  - “There's something about punching someone - in a church that just feels good.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We did Ecstasy, which was terrible for you, and only ever made me feel fantastic.”

## S18 E7 — 7. Heart Burn
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1807.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In celebration of Peter and Lois' anniversary, the Griffins recount their own versions of three well-known love stories.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Our next love story is Romeo and Juliet, a 500-year-old tale about horny preteens that society somehow decided is classy and not perverted, even though two middle schoolers bang in it.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Now, if you'll excuse me, Helen's in my cabin, and I thought I'd give heterosexual sex a try.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “In Quahog? - No, in this porn store.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I had an affair.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I might as well just be dead! (COUGHS, CHOKING) (WEAKLY): Children having sex, two murders, double suicide.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Hey, which line of cocaine is for the bathroom? - I think it's that one.”
  - “Like what? - "Have you ever tried wine?" "Can you keep a secret?" "You know this is your fault, right?" Yeah, he'll he'll make you question a lot about yourself.”

## S18 E8 — 8. Shanksgiving
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1808.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Lois hosts a special Thanksgiving dinner for her family, Peter decides the best way to avoid it is to get arrested. Meanwhile, a secret that Stewie has been keeping from everyone is revealed.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “Last year I spent Thanksgiving with my old blow-up sex dolls.”
  - “Not now, prison ladyboy who talks like my wife to please me sexually.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Hi, I'm the warden and definitely not a psychotic prisoner who just stabbed the warden and stole his clothes.”
  - “Annie Get Your Gun.”
  - “…Kal Penn And a note I will send every now and again To my pal Big Ben who is locked in the pen 'Cause he beat up some men and he got five to ten And he'll do it again Dah, dah, dah-dah-dah Kal Penn.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Pick up some wine for the adults.”
  - “That's a great idea! Let's celebrate by pretentiously analyzing some prison wine.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm just sick of your overt racism.”

## S18 E9 — 9. Christmas is Coming
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1809.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Meg takes Stewie to the mall to meet Santa, she has a surprising response. Meanwhile, Stewie is entirely scarred from the same experience and Brian tries to help him process.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Meg is entering probably the most horny part of her life.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “" Oh! It's like I'm in Sex with the City.”
  - “I brought this handkerchief to dab my forehead whenever you say something sexual.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “H-Hey, have you guys seen that mom who wears a swimsuit for a bra? She can't come to these.”

## S18 E10 — Connie's Celica
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1810.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Lois gets a job as the music teacher at Chris and Meg's school, a mean student, Connie, decides to make Lois the target of her antics.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Lois, I'll take my dessert upstairs in the masturbation bathroom.”
  - “What am I supposed to do? Masturbate comfortably in bed? The law's the law.”
  - “I'm not gonna have sex with you.”
  - “I didn't leave my family to have sex with a 12-year-old boy named Vili Fualaau, get arrested for rape, give birth to his child in prison, get…”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
  - “This one made a sexual pass at me.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't have time for underwear that bunches up.”
  - “Perfect underwear for hanging yourself in your jail cell.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “You're under arrest for her murder.”
  - “What?! Guys, my mom was arrested for Connie's murder.”
  - “I'm afraid your mother's a murderer.”
  - “All I see here is your Nerf gun from last summer.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Too bad, bitch.”
  - “You got a stronger one to end on? So long, bitchy 2:00 a.”
  - “Yeah, he sucks.”
  - “Damn it, Connie.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “What are we doing here? Connie never went to the Drunken Clam.”
  - “Oh, and here's a nickel for the watered-down beer.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “She's a classic, entitled, mean-girl slut.”

## S18 E11 — Short Cuts
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1811.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: When Brian accidentally becomes a local hero, an old street pal - and now a successful millionaire dog - reaches out and tries to convince him to get neutered. Meanwhile, Lois gets a pixie cut against Peter's wishes, so Peter retaliates by trying to out-embarrass her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Yes, I need a price check on extra-small condoms.”
  - “Annette, let's have sex.”
  - “There's homeless sperm on this.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “The urine-soaked hairs on the end of your penis are very off-putting to the other customers.”
  - “The only woman that's ever looked good with short hair is Halle Berry's boobs.”
  - “With my boobs and your hair, everybody's gonna think we're a lesbian couple.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - “And you're watching porn.”
  - “Oh, my God! Two clicks and I instinctually went right to porn.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Or you could watch Blue Bloods and have a pudding cup.”
  - “Go get 'em, Blue Bloods.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you take her name out of your filthy whore mouth.”

## S18 E12 — Undergrounded
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1812.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter secretly gets a credit card and overspends the family money, so Lois grounds him. To plan the perfect escape, he builds a tunnel leading directly to The Drunken Clam.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Meaning I had sex with - CHRIS: I know.”
  - “That's a (SNIFFLES) that's a very horny kid right there.”
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “I'd like one of those flashlights with a vagina in it, please? (THUNDER ROLLING) (TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) LOIS: Oh, no.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “And there's scuffled dirt and a little bit of blood over here.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I want to get one more beer.”

## S18 E13 — Rich Old Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1813.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie's future life could not be going any better, living as a wealthy, old Mr. Burns-type man, until his retirement is interrupted by Brian, who brings news that Peter is dying.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “1 It seems today that all you see Is violence in movies and sex on TV But where are those good old-fashioned values On which we used to rely?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “What have you been doing? - Yeah, I kind of wasted my life, except I obsessed over teaching my penis how to talk.”
  - “Hi, Chris' Penis.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Aw, and thanks for these virtual reality glasses, so I can watch porn while talking to the family.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I must get my affairs in order and transfer my money to all of you.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “"Coughing up blood, pain in abdomen, Winnie the Pooh casket.”

## S18 E14 — The Movement
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1814.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter starts coaching for Quahog's minor league baseball team, he gets constipated during the national anthem and must kneel, unintentionally becoming the face of racial justice.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - “or, or sex between Salma Hayek”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “You want me to sign your boobs?”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - I call them prostitutes And that's a wrap for Tom Senior.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah! Punch him!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - (SNORTS) Whoa! That is good bathroom cocaine.
  - Drunken Irish in front of a fishbowl of minorities.
  - Dad gave me a sip of beer.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “the Quahog Whooping Scalpers are racist!”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - I remember after that we Lady-and-the-Tramp'd a croissant together and said this O-line needs to get healthy.

## S18 E15 — Baby Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1815.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie builds a DNA-altering machine that will allow him to remain smart forever, but the invention has the adverse effect and he instead transforms into what he should have always been - an actual baby -.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - “you do a sex advice podcast”
  - Remember Rupert? He's your best friend with whom you seem to have a very sexual past.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - This is Peter Griffin's Penis Video.
- Swearing — 9 moment(s)
  - Thanks a lot, dick.
  - It'll be like we're in Italy! Ha! Our family should wear uniforms with "Basic Bitches" across the front.
  - Yeah, he was. He said we're a bunch of basic bitches.
  - Brian, if I was such a basic bitch, would I be wearing solid black umpire's shoes? Umpires are cool.
  - You're not the dick in this situation.
  - Mom! Dad! Brian's talking crap about you guys to Stewie! - What? - No, I wasn't.
  - As much as I hated being around a condescending baby, I prefer that to a screaming bag of leaking crap.
  - Hey, you came to me, damn it.
  - What the hell? Hello? - Stewie! - Uh, no Stewie.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Where the hell is my white wine with Sprite in it?! Hi again. That man over there reading a book by himself has offered to pay for your meal if you move to a table outside.

## S18 E16 — Start Me Up
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1816.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter's non-stop sweating becomes a liability at his company, so his boss tells him to work from home. Meanwhile, after Stewie and Chris cause thousands of dollars in damage to an electronics store, the two create a fake Kickstarter campaign with Brian to pay back the money.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - 'Cause I use office petty cash to have sex with high-end escorts? No. But your perspiration has become a serious problem.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - Those nicknames no longer fly ever since several women came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against each of us.
  - HIGH VOICE: “De-De-De-Devin and Lawrence! SINGERS: Sexual misconduct 97. 1 FM.”
  - (CRYING) Now, Barbara, the reason you are here at Super HR is there's been an accusation of unwanted touching and an overly sexualized work environment.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Hmm, let's see. Peter, Peter Penis? Let's just fire up Windows 98.
  - Hey, I went ahead and ordered those 4,000 penis mugs for you.
  - All right. Dishes washed, kids off to school, taking my boobs out of my bra.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - I'm sitting there at my desk, trying to watch porn on sites you guys haven't figured out yet, and she comes in and kisses me.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Why? 'Cause I'm drunk and have a gun? - No.
  - I thought the gun would get me there.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch!”
  - “Damn it, what's wrong with the AC?”
  - Hey, what time is our meeting, Oscar? It's Aah! Sorry. What time is our meeting, Aah-scar? Damn it, Griffin, you've become a liability in this office.
  - You're welcome! What the hell? (KEYS CLACKING) Oh, hi, Peter.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - 'Cause of the cocaine? - No.

## S18 E17 — Coma Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1817.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: With a newfound love for rocking out to Van Halen, Peter gets in a car accident and falls into a coma.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - These are all porn categories.
  - Is there anything here that's not pornography? 1984! Just read 1984.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - I mean, he's not responding to my advances, so it's either a coma, or he's a frigid bitch.
  - Joe just dropped a cracker! Damn it, Brian! I can't figure out how to open the gate.
  - Damn it, Peter, I'm sick of this! Take that Van Halen CD back today.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “to our cocktail party, everyone.”
  - Well, since this is a nice cocktail party, let's talk about books.
  - Excuse me, could I get dos margaritas, por favor? Yoo-hoo! Hello? Senor? Excuse me? Could I get towels? We need more towels.

## S18 E18 — Better Off Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1818.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Meg is erroneously reported to have died in a car crash, she goes along with the story to start a new life elsewhere. Meanwhile, the Griffins experience a life without Meg.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - You faked your death, I fake orgasms and being impressed by my husband's accomplishments at work.
  - Like orgasms or pretending to like your wife's egg salad.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Now let's see, if I whap my forehead against this cement floor enough times, I think I can create a blood luge to slide myself out on.
  - What's the holdup? - What? I slapped the van twice.

## S18 E19 — Holly Bibble
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1819.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Cooped up in a hotel room due to a big storm, the Griffins pass the time by reimagining three stories from the Bible.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - Hair gel, condom.
  - Let's go have sex with gum in our mouths.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - Hey, that's sexual harassment.
  - I have nothing to gain from lying to you, aside from the minor sexual thrill of watching someone eat something.
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - No putting your penis in the gopher holes, and no apples.
  - “balled-up underwear in my room!”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - "Must dial nine to reach outside prostitute.
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - Previously on NCIS Ah, son of a bitch! So, what kind of Navy crime do we have today? - Dad, it hurts! - I'll show you.
  - My girlfriend got a piece in an art show, and I'd look like a dick if I didn't go.
  - Did everyone who submitted to the art show get in? Yes. But again, don't want to be a dick.
  - “Ah, son of a bitch!”
  - Anyone mind if I open fragrant Doritos in a tiny room? Ooh Oh! Ugh It smells like horse crap.
  - What the hell happened here?! Uh, it's not our fault.
  - If it isn't spaghetti, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.
  - “You're damn right we are!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - There's nothing in here to eat but crackers and screw-top wine.
  - Who buys a comb out of a mini-fridge? - Guys? - Crackers and wine? You know, that actually reminds me of another Bible story: The Last Supper.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - I don't know, maybe throw it in the dryer at least? Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not taking advice about germs from a whore.

## S18 E20 — Movin' In (Principal Shepherd's Song)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1820.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Principal Shepherd moves in with the Griffins after he is fired for fat-shaming Chris at school. Meanwhile, Brian sues Stewie for writing a series of children's books which portray him as an idiot.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Now, I believe you have some masturbating to do, young man? I already did it.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Someone drew a penis on my car.
  - You don't have a penis? I do, I just don't look at it 'cause I'm not gay.
  - Now, if it was a vagina, I'd say you have your man.
  - Remember her, from earlier, with the vagina? My uncle didn't fall out of the casket, though.
  - And again, we cannot show you the nude photos the Spanish teacher sent to that kid.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - That's right, I lawyered up, you little bitch.
  - Thank you, Your Ho Ah! Son of a dick! Ah! Ah, crap.
  - “Sucks being in detention.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - At least I'm not a withered old slut like you are.

## S19 E1 — 1. Stewie's First Word
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1901.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Because they want to masturbate, you see.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - MAN: “We're a family establishment, so take your foul-mouthed baby and go away! Please, let me in! I can only poop behind a punch-code door! There's something about the beeps.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - Right now, every woman in my mommy wine group is judging me.
  - I may have to start drinking wine at home alone.
  - You want a Popsicle? Huh? Breakfast Popsicle? Whoa, there's vodka in here.
  - Ah, this is the perfect amount of drunk for a Filet-O-Fish.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - Ahoy! Are you looking to build a city where sports fans can be notoriously racist? Yeah, and can we also ruin "Sweet Caroline" - for everyone else? - Absolutely.

## S19 E2 — 2. The Talented Mr. Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1902.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie "breaks up with" Rupert after learning that he used to belong to Chris. Unable to get over his feelings of betrayal, Stewie decides to take action.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - Used to sleep with him, too.
  - Just a warning, I had some bad experiences at camp, so now I sleep with one eye open.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - But don't worry, I don't use it for sexual purposes.
  - God, you're sexy.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - He's a male prostitute.
  - Now let's make some twin porn.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - I'm committing a murder, I should've realized I wouldn't also want to cook.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - I mean, I've already wasted a whole year of my life with him.
  - What do you mean? Like dessert or a bottle of wine.

## S19 E3 — 3. Boys & Squirrels
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1903.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter injures himself and a family of squirrels in a chainsaw accident, Chris and Stewie take in one of the injured rodents to nurse it back to health. Meanwhile, a chiropractor fixes Peter's injury by realigning his spine - and restoring him to his "true height" of 6'5".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - Basically everything in this house is Christmas suicide furniture.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Ow! Oh! My arm! Oh, son of a bitch! (WOOD CRACKLING) - Oh, my god! - Mom, look.
  - As a celebrity dick, it's always been my passion to own a ranch in a low-tax state that I list as my primary residence.
  - Damn it, Peter.
  - (GRUNTING) - (BONES CRACKLING) (GASPS) Holy crap! What happened? Well, I think we simply found your true height.
  - Yay! - (THUMP) - MAN: Ow! Who kicked me?! - Sorry! - What the hell?! - PETER: My bad.
  - “the moment for one damn minute”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Yikes! - I hate the one story you tell at every cocktail party about almost meeting John Kerry.

## S19 E4 — 4. CutawayLand
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1904.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and Lois accidentally set up a cutaway gag together, which somehow transports them into the cutaway itself.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - Ah, damn it! So, what should we do now that we're finally down here? How 'bout we do something that ain't been done under a pier in 50 years: have heterosexual sex.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Look at his penis.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Son of a bitch.
  - Hitler head, yo! He cried like a bitch when I did it.
  - What the hell? Wh-What is that? It sounds like a happy family dishwashing scene? Aw, crap, it's a happy family dishwashing scene.
  - Damn it! What do we got to do to get some time to ourselves? Amen. Honestly You guys are more frustrating than trying to sell men's suits in Australia.
  - Aw, crap, we picked the wrong line.
  - Damn it! It's always the first one of the batch.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - And with any luck, we'll get home by wine o'clock.
  - What was that? - Hilarious mom wine joke.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Hey, Lois, you remember that time you and me made it under the boardwalk? When I go back to school, my greaser friends are gonna say, "Tell me more, tell me more," and I'm gonna say you were a slut.

## S19 E5 — 5. La Famiglia Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1905.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Joe asks Peter to be the godfather to his daughter, Peter commits to his mistaken interpretation of the role so much that he becomes a real gangster.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - He wants me to have sex with Bonnie.
  - I will absolutely have sex with Bonnie.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - Uh, for the kids, we've got games and also a party princess dressed as Elsa who's clearly a prostitute, but please don't proposition her here, just nod in her direction, trust me, she'll get it.
  - Ooh! Aah! Mama Mia! Check it out. Like all cool mobsters, my office is at a strip club.
  - Yeah, but why's it in a male strip club? Are you kidding? Dingaling's is great.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - And I'll be totally oblivious to the affair between my bodyguard and my wife.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - What?! - You're not safe here anymore, so I'm gonna send you where all the murderers are from.
  - I thought you were gonna do some kind of Godfather murder on me.
  - (GUNSHOTS) - (HORN HONKING) Leave the gun.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - I'm your son, you dick.
  - Damn it, Peter, being Susie's godfather doesn't mean you're in the mob.
  - Like hell it is.
  - Peter, what the hell? That was our Prego.
  - Damn it, Peter! You have to say it exactly.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Dad, there's a shipment of heroin in our driveway.
  - I'm the godfather of this event, and I want a debilitating wine-and-candy headache.
  - Has anyone seen the rest of my white wine? Sorry, Lois. I drank that.
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - "You's dead, fat ass.

## S19 E6 — 6. Meg's Wedding
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1906.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg plans her wedding to an unexpected Quahog resident. Meanwhile, Peter finds a new vest and on one of many adventures fitting for his new attire, his arms are torn off and he is left with tiny hands that have yet to grow back.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - You're gonna have sex? I'm talking about our suicide pact.
  - Probably not gonna be able to have sex for, like, a while, though, right? - I think it should be fine.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - You see, Ralph was a homosexual, a person who demands an intimate relationship with members of their own sex Is that Earth? Oh, for Pete's sake, I am 99% sure Bruce is gay.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - We would like your finest champagne and your longest fork and knife, please.
  - Dad, Tyson spilled fruit punch on me.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - You're gonna have sex? I'm talking about our suicide pact.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Trivia. Karaoke. Beer pong.
  - What happened to a place where you drink beer and talk? It might be time to find a new bar.
  - You know what? This calls for champagne.

## S19 E7 — 7. Wild Wild West
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1907.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Lois and Peter are divided by differing views on who the next Mayor of Quahog should be. Upset at Lois' first choice, Peter seeks out the late Mayor Adam West's cousin, Wild Wild West.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - (CHUCKLES) Let's not make this sexy, okay? I just don't think it's fair for you to breeze into town with your rugged good looks and voice of the gods and assume you should be mayor.
  - O-Okay, is this because I called out his name twice during sex and once while I was peeing after? - That's part of it, yes.
  - And if you're gonna beat Wild West, you have to recognize that one of his greatest strengths is his voice, which makes him sound sexy and smart and sexy and sexy.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “or racism or Brett Kavanaugh”

## S19 E8 — 8. Pawtucket Pat
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1908.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “We heard you had sex with a horse!”
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - You're really good at sexualizing children.
  - Good, good. I am glad we can talk frankly about sex.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - Racist? How can a 300-pound white guy who looks at black porn be racist? Here, Peter. You were sent a beer by that table of businessmen.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Not anymore. He's a racist murderer and this statue should be torn down.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - And if you're looking for comedy, check out performers Lewis Black, Andy Dick, - and Ed Lover - Peter, turn off the TV.
  - What the hell? Hey, hey. What are you guys doing? Why are you so upset about Pat? Pawtucket Pat was a phony! I remember you.
  - Damn it, who moved the lamp? Well, what does the rest of the family think? Chris? - Ha! You got sunflowered.
  - Aw, crap, everybody run.
  - God, I can't believe Peter is actually winning public support for that damn statue.
  - What the hell is this? You said to bring masks.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - What? - He says that he didn't create his recipe for beer.
  - Quahog is a wonderful town, because of who we are and what we do, not because of some guy who stole beer 300 years ago.
- Racism & slurs — 3 moment(s)
  - Not anymore. He's a racist murderer and this statue should be torn down.
  - Pawtucket Pat was a horrible racist.
  - “and end the institutional racism”

## S19 E9 — 9. The First No L
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1909.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the family fails to help Lois with the Christmas shopping, she walks out on the family and the Griffins must try to save Christmas on their own.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - Welcome to the Quahog Motel, the winner of Tripadvisor's award for "Best In-Room Stationery to Write Your Suicide Note On".
  - My wife just killed herself.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Remember this face? The one that wanted to watch Modern Family? Well, payback's a bitch. Delete! "Are you sure you want to delete The Crown?" Yes.
  - Peter. Peter?! Peter Griffin, what the hell is going on here? Huh? Huh? What? Oh, yeah.
  - Damn it. And who got candy cane all over the couch? You know what? I've had it.
  - We're gonna delete all of her pretentious crap off the DVR.
  - What the hell? They've never had a front yard family snowball fight when I was there.
  - Oh, no, Klunt, that was Stewie's aquarium with the fish you have to feed so damn much and they basically always die anyway.

## S19 E10 — Fecal Matters
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1910.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter makes it through a bad flu season without getting sick, the hospital asks him to volunteer as a nurse, but he finds himself at a crossroads when his mortal enemy, The Giant Chicken, is admitted to the ER. Meanwhile, Brian receives his genetic test results and learns he is part cat, causing him to have an identity crisis.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - It's a pretty sexually driven show, - and it kinda gets me going.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - You're impatient - Are you done? And you faint when you see blood.
  - Come on! You got to live, damn it! I need you! You do have something to live for: me! You hate me, remember? Remember! Aren't you gonna do something? He's punching a dead patient.
  - Every day, I wake up not knowing if you're gonna come out of nowhere and punch me in the face.
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - I lost my job, I lost my house, my wife left me for a bigger cock.
  - Cocks are chickens.
  - Sup, Ernie? Holy moly, that's a huge cock.
  - You dick! You need him, Peter.
  - Damn it, who's secretly an X-Man? You know, I'm actually starting to not feel well.
  - I will do the laundry If you pay all the bills Where is my John Wayne? Where is my prairie song? Where is my happy ending? Where have all the cowboys gone? Damn it, I give up.
  - Jump the hell up here, you dope.
  - "How did you like your lunch, Garfield?" "Burp, burp. I give it two burps. " Hey, what the hell are you doing? Oh. Hey, Quagmire.
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - I took too much ecstasy in my 20s, so nothing makes me happy anymore.
  - You're drunk? It's after dinner! Where is everybody? Hmm.
  - Champagne? Maybe open that facing Ah, (BLEEP). My eye! What are we celebrating? Is our IRS audit finally over? Oh, we wish.
  - Anyway, this champagne is to celebrate my victory over the Giant Chicken.

## S19 E11 — Boy's Best Friend
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1911.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: While Brian bonds with the son of his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland take a joy ride in Joe's new classic corvette.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Oh, cool, and a jukebox! Yeah, but since the songs are from the '50s they're all about men in their 40s wanting to have sex with teenagers.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - “12-year-old sex”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - He saw a bra in the window of Lane Bryant on the way over.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - Are you a shoe store murderer? N-N-No.
  - What?! Oh, no. No, no, I No, I just meant Like-like, people bring guns to school? What? No, no, I'm-I'm not saying And they just shoot kids?! Well, you can hide under your desk.
  - CHRIS: “Hey, don't touch that! - (THUD) - (SLAP) Mom! He blocked my punch and hit me! I knew they'd get along.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Holly into paroxysms of ecstasy.”

## S19 E12 — And Then There's Fraud
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1912.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After attending a baseball game, Peter and Chris are inspired to start a memorabilia business. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to combat aging by getting plastic surgery, but ends up taking it too far.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - It's for masturbating.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - Little better sex character who doesn't play as well in the Me Too era.

## S19 E13 — PeTerminator
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1913.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie designs a "Terminator" Peter robot to destroy Lois for trying to feed him broccoli, but when things don't go according to plan, Stewie and Brian must go on a Terminator-esque mission to save Stewie's life.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Why'd you make two versions Naked or all in leather? Brian, I don't expect you to be able to understand all the science stuff.
  - You're adding a "Y. " - No, that's a "U. " - Say "underwear. " - Yunderwear.
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - (BEEPING, TRILLING) Hey, what are you looking at? Peter, where are your clothes? I need your gun.
  - I need your gun.
  - Here are the guns, provisions, and that is an Instapot, which was going to be your Christmas gift.
  - Yeah, that's it. Punch that one.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - (KNOCK ON DOOR) Champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries? Yes, put it over there near the candles.

## S19 E14 — The Marrying Kind
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1914.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Stewie gets a mail order bride from Ukraine and experiences domestic life. Meanwhile, Peter and Chris become addicted to free hotel breakfast buffets.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - What's Kate up to this week? Losing weight with Toby maybe? Why you not have sex with me? No, I know. I totally want to.
  - I want you to sleep with my wife again.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - It's not like you're having sex with her.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - I'm boxing up her underwear.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - I know she can disassemble and reassemble a rifle in 15 seconds.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - I vow to keep you nourished by filling our home with the worst wine in the world and preparing potatoes and applesauce.
  - I have Dasani water bottle full of Rite Aid vodka.

## S19 E15 — Customer of the Week
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1915.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: After feeling unappreciated by her family, Lois taps into her villainous side and attempts to win "Best Customer" at her favorite coffee shop.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - What, so you just walk around like there's nothing potentially sexual? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ever since he joined the gym, he's really turned his body around.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Mind if I sing a tune into your vagina? Everybody, if we could have your attention, we'd like to announce this week's Customer of the Week.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Now, there are two ways we can go from here: you can give me your absolute trust, or I can get you hooked on heroin.
  - Heroin's not bad.

## S19 E16 — Who's Brian Now?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1916.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian has a microchip that reveals he had a family before the Griffins, when he then seeks out. After meeting the richer, smarter Hendersons, Brian struggles to enjoy his life with the Griffins as much as he once did.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - I feel like I'm sleeping with Mo'Nique.
  - Peter, we had sex 20 minutes ago! Actually, it was 17 minutes ago.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - "Hendersons naked. " Whoa.
  - "Florence Henderson naked. " Her boobs look like her eyes.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've got a bloody Kleenex from”
  - “How about bloody toilet paper”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - Would we say you're the smartest guy in our family? You, you ever invent a time machine, Brian? Grow a brain, dick.
  - You from the QVA? What the hell? Peter, it's me, Brian.
  - “Now get the hell out of here!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - I'm lost in the woods, drunk on moonshine.
  - Okay, that's it! How are you all actually this dumb? I can't even believe I've wasted my intellect living here.

## S19 E17 — Young Parent Trap
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1917.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Lois and Peter are mistaken for "young parents" by another couple at Stewie's school and invited to live in a millennial apartment complex, leaving Meg and Chris home alone.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Chris had sex with that.
  - Run home with these expired military condoms, Ndugu.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”

## S19 E18 — Meg Goes to College
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1918.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Meg deals with a college admissions scandal, while Brian embarks on a fitness journey.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - He didn't mean you have to sleep with him.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - From hell's heart I stab at thee.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - And then I can get back to hustling drunk women upstairs with Tobin and Squee.

## S19 E19 — Family Cat
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1919.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian tries to convince The Griffins that their new adopted cat, Pouncy, is evil.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - I'm gonna do what all husbands do when they screw something up: tuck my penis high between my butt and hire a professional to fix it for me.
  - If I knew my lap was gonna have visitors, I would have changed my rowing underwear.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - If it gets in your bloodstream, it can make people a little crazy.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - So, you choose to be dicks? Yeah. It's hilarious.
  - But they're also complete dicks.
  - “What the hell are you doing, Peter?!”
  - Hello? What the hell does this say? - Oh, my God.
  - So what you're saying is that everyone who likes cats only likes them because they literally have crap in their brain? - That's correct.

## S19 E20 — Tales of Former Sports Glory
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/1920.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys regale each other with stories of youthful athletic accomplishments. Cleveland was a teenage baseball player from Cuba, Quagmire was a bad boy tennis superstar from New York and Peter was an underdog boxer from Philadelphia.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - She was fresh off her success playing an 11-year-old in a Little League movie, which, for some reason, made her the biggest sex symbol in Hollywood.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - It was the era before AIDS, but a lot of tennis players had to deal with the scourge of Penis Gerulaitis.
  - And I was the only guy who wouldn't get naked in the locker room.
  - I don't got a problem getting naked, I-I just don't have to change right now.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - What happened to your eye? - I got beat up again in a fight.
  - I became known as an up-and-comer with a mean left hook, who farted every time he got punched in the stomach.
  - I dug deep and had a kick-ass song on my side, but we couldn't afford the song from the movie, so we used the sound effects from Nintendo Punch-Out!! Body blow.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - We came from a long line of tennis dicks.
  - Aah! What the hell? Hergy bergy meatball throwy! Come on, this can't be legal.
  - Aw, damn it! My temper on the court was increasingly an issue.

## S20 E1 — 1. LASIK Instinct
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2001.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: With her vision waning, Lois elects to get LASIK surgery, but exploits her new disability for monetary gain. Meanwhile, Peter, Chris and Stewie must partake in all the activities with Doug that his father neglects.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “and sex on TV”
  - Can I get anyone something to drink? I'm fine, but Doug's mother would probably like three martinis, and then to have unprotected sex with her boss at work.
  - Thankfully, we are Chris Evans and Vanessa Hudgens, and have sexy bodies that will make beautiful racially nuanced babies.
  - Ah, this show is so sexy.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Oh, and Elsa underwear.
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - [crying.] Ow. Ow Oh, my God, it's a kid! It's Doug! Nice hit, bitch.
  - So, Saturday night? - What a dick.

## S20 E2 — 2. Rock Hard
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2002.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: While at an old record store, Peter and the guys recount tales of three rock legends: Jim Morrison, Muddy Waters and Elton John.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - So, how'd you like to have sex with my kite-sized woman weave? Mm, it'll mesh perfectly with my giant nest of tight ringlets.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “and expose his penis”
  - Like every man who can't find his penis, Jim Morrison moved to Paris, where he did heroin one night and drowned in a bathtub.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Muddy grew up in a shotgun shack in the Deep South.
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - That son of a bitch! Damn you, Elvis Presley! [SIGHS.] Oh, well.
  - What'd you say?! I couldn't hear you over the sound of snorting! Have fun getting home without a TripTik, trip dick! Whoa-ho! Looks like Elton learned how to write! [SNORTING.]
  - Look, I'm gonna get right to it and say I miss making music with you bastards.
  - What the hell, Jim? You look terrible.
  - Damn it, Jim. We're here to make an album, not a poster.
  - “What the hell is he doing now?”
  - What are you working on? I'm trying to write a nice letter to my wife Margerie, but I never been any good with - Damn it, what are those things? - Words? Yeah, I-I never been any good at words.
  - And people were pissed when Green Book won that Oscar.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - They signed the contract that would make their cocaine dealer rich.
  - Like every man who can't find his penis, Jim Morrison moved to Paris, where he did heroin one night and drowned in a bathtub.
  - “What's the cocaine sitch like”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - It upset his stomach terribly because of his lactose intolerance, a condition that would escalate to full-on cream bigotry.
  - Now, since he was a Black performer, naturally, he went on tour in the part of the country that's so racist it's known as the Boston of the South.
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - "Dearest Margerie, "I can't wait to get home "and back that big fat ass up.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - [QUIETLY.] : That's my fun little way of sayin' I'm a slut.

## S20 E3 — 3. Must Love Dogs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2003.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his Halloween candy in the "Must Love Dogs" Halloween-themed episode of FAMILY GUY.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - I mean, it's not just that the sex is great, which it is, but I appreciate her as a person, which sounds kind of weird coming out of my mouth.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - My Reese's Penis.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - And you know what's right around the corner? The strip club where they spit in your face? No, the dog park! For our next date, we should bring our dogs there.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Okay, the murderer was "don't care," with a "this game sucks" in the "I regret having children. " Clue you got someone pregnant nine years ago, so now you have to play this.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Come on in, we'll have however many beers it takes to forget how depressing the shelter was.
  - I'll go get those aforementioned beers.

## S20 E4 — 4. 80's Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2004.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Impelled by nostalgia, Peter recreates movie scenes from his favorite decade. Meanwhile, Stewie and Doug compete to retrieve a frisbee stuck at the top of the jungle gym.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “or have sex?”
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - I also tried to use science to make a sex slave from a magazine photo.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - You mean this? Yeah, that's like bloody witchcraft to me.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - I won, everyone! I won! Other kids, Stewie lost, and he deserves our ridicule! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! DOUG: And there was a weird cucumber thing! That son of a bitch.
  - Oh! Duh! Stewie, when will you free me from this thought bubble hell? Not for a while.
  - I'm currently frying in hell.
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Not 'cause of legal cocaine but”
  - “mostly 'cause of legal cocaine.”
  - “and rose-flavored wine gums”
  - “and Connor just wasted everyone's time!”

## S20 E5 — 5. Brief Encounter
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2005.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Peter and Quagmire accidentally switch underwear, they begin to mimic the other's behavior. Meanwhile, Stewie and Doug agree to commit each other's murders.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - You constantly want to sleep with my wife, who is an angel.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - While that is super sexy and being stored for later, it's very different for guys.
  - BOTH: Nope! - And the lines of sexuality - are more fluid than ever.
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - (GIGGLES) COPILOT: Lot of penis stuff from you today.
  - "The perfect underwear for unexpected wind shear. " - Is that, like, farts? - Yes, that's like farts.
  - He's wearing your underwear, and you're wearing his.
  - Will you help me move my stuff back inside? Only if I can do it half naked and in front of all our neighbors.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - How's that? - Think about it: two fellas meet on a train, and do each other's murders.
  - (ALARM CLOCK BLARING) - (BLEEP) LOIS: Chris, your alarm is going off! I know! All right, time to murder Miss Tiggywinkles.
  - “Stewie Griffin, cat murderer?”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - Geez. Why are you always such a dick? Takes one to know one.
  - (SUCKS TEETH) Kindergartners hate welshers.
  - (LAUGHING) Whoo! What the hell? We must've accidentally grabbed the wrong ones at the laundromat.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Our top story: “doing laundry and drinking beer.”
  - Doing laundry and drinking beer? Quahog welcomes Duds & Suds, a new laundromat that serves beer.
  - Boy, we all get a Doug, huh? Yeah, Tyler's Doug is a drunk stepdad.

## S20 E6 — 6. Cootie & The Blowhard
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2006.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie takes drastic measures when he thinks he is diagnosed with terminal "cooties." Meanwhile, Peter becomes infatuated with Bonnie's cooking.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - No, I got it! Aw, they sure do grow up fast, don't they? Chris, have you masturbated today? - No, ma'am.
  - Long days, short years, huh, Meg? Chris! Masturbate! Jerk! This is seriously the best turkey I've ever had, Bonnie.
  - You know, I hear he can't even bury a bone these days without Viagra.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - “sex ruins your eyesight"”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Okay. That's sort of just another jab at my penis, but sure.
  - Oh, also, you can have my penis enlarging machine.
  - What underwear do you recommend? Depends.
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - What? That's terrible! I think you need to get your affairs in order.
  - I don't have any affairs! I'm one! Well, then you're ready to die.
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - Anyway, I can see that my disease has become a burden to the people I love, so I've decided to take a bus to Vermont to have physician-assisted suicide.
  - Do you have an email address for our mailing list? Uh, no thanks, I'm about to kill myself.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - And no, Rupert, getting high is not getting sober, I don't care if you found the one AA group in town that tells you otherwise.
  - Stewie, aren't you being a little dramatic about this cooties thing? Brian, this is the Flintstones cocktail I have to take every day.

## S20 E7 — 7. Peterschmidt Manor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2007.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois and her father attend the funeral of Lois' childhood nanny. Meanwhile, Peter and the rest of the family turn Pewterschmidt mansion into a hotel.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - So, you're not interested in having sex with Kevin Spacey? Oh, good, Kevin's going to love that.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - It's a shame she had to give it up after the affair.
  - Affair? I know. We try not to talk about it.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Where's the hosiery? Hi. I'm a 15-year-old wild card, and Well, let's get you a gun already! Oh, Peter, I'm so glad you're finally doing something positive for your health.
  - First kiss was with a boy at theater camp who would one day get beaten up by David Hyde Pierce for being too fancy.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - And look, it can turn our car into a silly tank! Watch me nail Cleveland. (GRUNTS) CLEVELAND: I got one, too, bitch! All right, Chris, time for your old man to teach you how to swing a bat.
  - (LOUD RATTLE) - What the hell? Peter, what the hell is that? It's my new pitching machine, Lois.
  - I say, Brian, do you know what these guests need? STEWIE'S ECHO: First to arrive is Tom Tucker, here to celebrate the anniversary of his divorce Damn it, I guess the blanket fell down.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Wow! So am I also gonna be a billionaire making websites? No, but you'll use his site to post pictures of wine and passive-aggressively body-shame other moms.

## S20 E8 — 8. The Birthday Bootlegger
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2008.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: A new boss (Preston Lloyd) quells Peter's favorite part about work: office birthdays. Meanwhile, Stewie is put in detention and comes out a ruffian.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Way off, pal. This is the only place I can masturbate.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - If you want to know more about it, ask your grandfather, who was dragged to see it on a date and then had to get married to touch boob.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Beer is supposed to be fun.
  - A brewery is not about getting drunk.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - What have you learned from this experience? That your mother's a whore.

## S20 E9 — 9. The Fatman Always Rings Twice
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2009.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In noir-style, Peter/Mac investigates the disappearance of Meg/Sister Megan.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - Sorry, pal, she's having an affair.
- Violence & injury — 8 moment(s)
  - For the murder of Sister Megan.
  - Somebody just stabbed the cardinal, and ran out the back door.
  - And funny thing, we got that tip right after getting the ballistics report on Sister Megan's murder.
  - But thanks to you, the real murderer is behind bars.
  - So, what's gonna happen to Marion? Well, he's a lunatic murderer who cross-dresses in the '30s.
  - We got an anonymous tip that a heavyset man entered the church with a knife.
  - She was killed with your gun.
  - So, I called that canine journalist pretending to be Sister Megan, then I killed her with Mac's gun.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - And I'm a private dick.
  - (UNZIPS) A very private dick.
  - Ah, damn it. And this was the smallest brim they had.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - ("LOVE THEME FROM CHINATOWN" PLAYING) (DOORBELL RINGING) (HORNS HONKING) PETER: My office was in the Cocaine-Cola building.
  - He sneaks in booze from Italy aboard Church ships.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - And of course, there was racism.

## S20 E10 — Christmas Crime
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2010.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Mayor West's nativity scene is ruined, Brian is seen as the prime suspect.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - The printing of the restricted times was also faded, and as to the investigation? Whoever took that nativity scene best sleep with one eye open, 'cause I'm on your trail.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - To Bethlehem Come and behold Him Born the King of Angels Why am I crying? O come, let us adore The "penis" is right, I do miss my family.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “but it's worth stabbing”
  - Just start punching until you're on an airplane.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - Aah! Son of a bitch! Oh, crap. Why couldn't I have hit the court-ordered menorah instead? Thank you! Aw, crap, this is bad, this is bad.
  - Life is a highway I want to ride it Wait, what the hell is this? Only the best Christmas song ever.
  - Damn it, Joe! We're supposed to be annoying Brian! Not this! Oh, okay, I get it.
  - Oh, crap, Who's that? Howdy, folks.
  - You don't know that! You ate my whole family, you fat bastard.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Just for destroying public property and fleeing the scene of the crime?! Why are we not leading with drunk driving? I'm afraid I have to take you to jail.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - He's not Australian! He name-checks Vancouver in the song! A guy from Australia can't know where Vancouver is? Feels kind of racist.

## S20 E11 — Mister Act
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2011.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: An accident leaves Peter with a high-pitched voice, and Jesus coaches him into fending off the other choir boys; meanwhile, Stewie is attracted to Lois' new masculine physique.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You can sleep with Mommy in”
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Okay, let's climb this hill! I want to impress you, but also see if I can peek down your sports bra.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - What the hell? You're not taking this from me, bitch.
  - You're gonna beat the crap out of them, and I'm gonna help you do it.
  - Damn it! Who put that weight there?!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - How's that cheap wine headache? Go roll in dirt, you pig.

## S20 E12 — The Lois Quagmire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2012.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: At odds with Peter, Lois takes Quagmire to her high school reunion. Meanwhile, the rest of the family must cover up the death of a pizza delivery man.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - Yeah, I know he's gonna try and sleep with me, but I'm a big girl, and I can handle Quagmire.
  - I want you to meet the cocktail waitress I'm about to sleep with.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - Then I could shoot you down and feel sexually desirable and morally superior.
  - And I shouldn't need the attention of another man - to feel sexy and young.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - May I say that you have the breasts of an obese woman and the arms of an anorexic.
  - What? This is Jenna. You might remember her boobs from hovering over your shoulder while pouring wine.
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - The pizza guy's having a secret affair.
  - Last night I was with Jenna for only four hours, and I cheated on her with the woman who was fixing the ice machine.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Hmm, I'm hearing a little Clapton mixed with hearing loss from going to the gun range too much.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - All our husbands were Christmas suicides.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - You know, the hotel sent champagne up for us last night.
  - What is this, Mutters Against Drunk Driving? Lois, have a drink.
  - Lois, where did you find him? Oh, you think he's so wonderful? Last night he screwed the cocktail waitress.

## S20 E13 — Lawyer Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2013.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter hires the town's new lawyer, Brick Baker, to represent him in litigation against his new neighbor.. who turns out to be Brick. Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie become lobstermen and save Rupert from the perils of the deep.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - You trip and fall? Got a dog bite? You used baby powder on your vagina, you crazy person? Well, if you haven't, start doing it.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - My specialities are contract law and kicking bitch ass for you.
  - Who are you? And what kind of evidence? I'm an HOA dick, and I found bylaws proving that Brick used his sprinklers on incorrect Tuesdays.
  - Bird, bird, well, the bird is the word A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word Man, this sucks.
  - A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's the word With Brick? Bird, bird, bird Crap, now they're getting pulled up onstage to sing together.
  - Right rack, wrong decade. Who's next? What the hell is he doing? His friends ditched him for Brick Baker, so he's trying to recreate the friend experience with us.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “for the Corona beer company,”
  - Quagmire, you like a beer from time to time.

## S20 E14 — HBO-No
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2014.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: The Griffins tell their own versions of three HBO shows: "Game of Thrones," "Succession" and "Big Little Lies."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - And, hey, while I got you here, why aren't the Real Sex episodes on HBO Max? It's part of the catalogue.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - What up, dicks? I cuss and I sit weird in chairs.
  - What the hell is this? - I-I just figured, you love helicopters so much, maybe you could pretend you were one? No. Clothes is boring.
  - Boy, that guy Chris kind of sucks, eh? I want you and Jacksonville to come to Stewie's birthday party at my all-glass house this weekend.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Hey, whose leg do you have to hump to get a Dornish wine around here? What's Uncle Doggian doing here? - I don't like him.
  - It's not just outdoor fireplace wine shops and the opening credits bridge that's actually in Big Sur.

## S20 E15 — Hard Boiled Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2015.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg is invigorated by her new role as a getaway driver, Meanwhile, Quagmire can't rid himself of the hiccups and implores Peter to kill him.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - There's a condom in the pocket.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
  - I'll just do sex. You don't need that.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - If we set off an explosion here Meg, I'm just gonna walk in and point a gun at the cashier.
  - Well, Peter, I'm glad the gun jammed and Quagmire's still alive.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Uh, hey, Kel, how's that cocktail coming along? Listen, Meg, I've got a big job I've been thinking about.

## S20 E16 — Prescription Heroine
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2016.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Brian sustains an injury, Lois gets hooked on his painkillers. Meanwhile, Cleveland refurbishes Peter's ping pong table, which becomes the hot spot in the neighborhood.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Hey, Peter's underwear.
  - Audible presents Times We've Been Nude by all three Hemsworths.
  - Also, you're naked and you're falling and you're falling and your teeth are coming out, too.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - But by day five, I was so sick of playing Ping-Pong and having people at my house, I was ready to shove that bitch into the Fargo wood chipper.
  - “What? Damn it!”
  - Damn it, there's got to be one more pill in here somewhere.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - You know, if it's good with water, it'd be even better with wine, huh? Just like Jesus says.

## S20 E17 — All About Alana
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2017.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: When Lois' piano student, Alana, comes to work for the Griffins, Lois is initially glad for the help, until she realizes Alana's intentions are more sinister than she thought.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Alana? What are you doing up so nipples? Sorry, I was just cleaning out the freezer.
  - Good morning, Loi Lois?! My clothes were in the wash, so I borrowed your clothes and Peter's bra.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Boy, my morning jog was murder.
  - This woman tried to take over my life and murder me and Oh, my God, you're the guitar priest.

## S20 E18 — Girlfriend, Eh?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2018.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and Chris take a road trip to Canada to prove the existence of Chris' girlfriend. Meanwhile, Lois and Meg compete for the attention of a handsome handyman.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪”
  - Wow, this short skirt is making my legs look long and sexy.
  - I'm sure you can tell me what sex is like.
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - I did not have sexual relations with that woman because I am extremely old and have a windsock penis.
  - Well, hey, because you definitely have a girlfriend, maybe you can tell me how you take a bra off.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - Look, I know how attached you are to your girl, but I for one am very curious to see a Canadian strip club.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - You stuck to your guns.
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - Who was president when you were born? Uh, Dwight D. Ei Oh, you bitch.
  - Long legs, huh? Everything okay? Give us one sec, okay, Jamie? What the hell are you doing? Showing Jamie I have the sexiest and longest legs in this house.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - I love cooking with wine.
  - Less filling! The Great American Beer Conflict.
  - A nation divided over which was the least trashy quality of a crappy, domestic river beer.

## S20 E19 — First Blood
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2019.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys' physical prowess is tested at Mayor West's dude ranch. Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he's gotten his first period.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - (ROARING) (GRUNTS) - Yeah! - All right! And I lassoed his neck so he can masturbate.
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Don't tell your doctor about your heart problem, or he might not give you the penis pill.
  - Hi. I have an unmarked, discreet delivery - addressed to "Peter Griffin's Penis"? - Ah, yes.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “and the guy shot him.”
  - Oh, my God, there's blood in my pants.
  - Yeah, I thought it'd be fun, like Young Guns with Kiefer Sutherland and Blue Diamond Walnuts.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Now give me back my hat, you son of a bitch.
  - Aw, that sucks.
  - Man, what the hell happened to us? Why are we such losers? ♪ Sounds like you fellas are finding yourselves in a trough.
  - Damn it, Stewie, you're not pregnant.
  - Who gives a (BLEEP)? What the hell, Joe? I always saw you as the rock of the group.
  - Damn it! Don't you see, fellas? We made a oath to the mayor to get our manhood back.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Three beers at a barbecue, and my whole night was hand-against-the-wall pees.
  - Once upon a time, Frasier and Niles were invited to a dinner party and both brought the same wine.
  - “a morning-after cocktail”

## S20 E20 — Jersey Bore
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2020.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter attends a business conference in Atlantic City with Preston. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris prepare for his role in Adam West High's rendition of "Romeo and Juliet".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪”
  - All right! - Let's do it! Cedar Rapids, rated R for drug use and mild sexual content! I've never been to Atlantic City.
  - I think we can all agree that the "Z" on the end takes sexy to the next level.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Peter, is something wrong? We've been here an hour, and you've hardly touched your penis.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - Guys, Preston's missing! We got to find him! That hooker in the bathroom was dead when I found her! (PHONE CHIMES) Okay, Preston's not answering texts, and the presentation's in three hours.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Hey, do you remember seeing us last night with a dignified Black man? Getting a little tired of you punching that word.
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - Check it out, a stack of prewritten suicide notes.
  - I read that in a stack of suicide notes in my room.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - The son of a bitch did it.
  - CLEVELAND: Hey! - QUAGMIRE: Ah! - JOE: What the hell?! - PETER: Sorry, I forgot.
  - (TAKES DEEP BREATHS) Hi, Juliet! Damn it, Chris! I'm not ready! But you were standing like a girl.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Thought I'd swing by work first and pick up a case of beer for the road.
  - Why do you have a case of beer? Oh. Oh, this? Um, uh, samples.
  - I realized only a true drunk could save the brewery.
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - How come the bodies are all so fat? They're full of water, Peter.

## S21 E1 — 1. Oscars Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2101.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: "Family Guy" retells three Oscar-winning stories: "Silence of the Lambs," "American Beauty" and "Forrest Gump,".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - and I want to have sex with you.
  - I should let you know, I'm a virgin.
  - and had sex with me one time.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - But I think you're sexy,
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - to a dangerous murderer.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Oh, my God, this bitch.
  - Aah! Son of a bitch!
  - Ah! Ah, damn it! Ah, stop. Stop.
  - What the hell?
  - Aw, crap. Somebody shoot me.
  - Damn it, save yourself, Gump.
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - fat girl who went missing?

## S21 E2 — 2. Bend or Blockbuster
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2102.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Resolved to enjoy a family movie night, the Griffins take a road trip to Bend, Oregon, to rent a VHS from the last Blockbuster in existence.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - I'll hook up the VCR.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - She would do sex but also help
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - women's underwear in the back.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - I'd watch a porn movie.
  - I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
  - Very tall prostitute, yes.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - and might get murdered
  - All guns all the time.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - No, your mom's a whore.

## S21 E3 — 3. A Wife-Changing Experience
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2103.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Joe accidentally sees Lois naked, leading to a reinvigoration of his sex life with Bonnie. Meanwhile, Stewie is gifted an electric SUV and quickly embodies the "Range Rover" lifestyle.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - best sex of our entire marriage.
  - I'm a sexually desirable woman!
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - in my underwear last night
  - your naked body has pretty much
  - mostly about seeing side-boob
  - that was not my wife's side-boob.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - sandwich slapped out of his hand
  - beat up your own friend.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - What are you, drunk?
  - a $12 bottle of Costco champagne
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - Look, this is gonna sound racist, but

## S21 E4 — 4. The Munchurian Candidate
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2104.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois hypnotizes Peter into satisfying her sexual proclivities. Meanwhile, Stewie renovates his treehouse in an attempt to win over Brian and Chris.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - brought to you by Parent Sex.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Sorry, I couldn't find a shirt or a bra,
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - I could see him punching Stewie.
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - We're a dick restaurant.
  - Son of a bitch.
  - Who is this bitch?
  - Hey, what the hell's going on out here?
  - What the hell was that?
  - and realized they're kind of crap.
  - I know, that damn sciatica.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Check it out: “I can drink beer,”
  - And I can drink wine and scroll
  - Peter, I'm gonna open a bottle of wine.

## S21 E5 — 5. Unzipped Code
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2105.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Cleveland is fired as a mailman after an ignominious mishap, but flourishes in his new job at the brewery.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - a sexy men in uniform calendar,
  - we're going for "sexy,"
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - It's like a lady bodybuilder's boob.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - The guys were slapping the back
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Son of a bitch!
  - What the hell? I said take 'em off.
  - Damn, Mr. Brown.
  - Who the hell is that?
  - You're damn right it was.
  - Ah, crap, look at the line.
- Alcohol & drugs — 6 moment(s)
  - never did cocaine?
  - He did a lot of cocaine.
  - of wine I told you to bring?
  - nesting in the main beer tank.
  - someone wasted your time,
  - part to help make this beer.

## S21 E6 — 6. Happy Holo-ween
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2106.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter makes a hologram of himself in order to get out of menial household duties.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - The big game was on the boob tube,
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - I'm at a strip club.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - of Murder at the South Pole,
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita"
  - a little too drunk to walk home.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - Don't be racist with your costume ♪

## S21 E7 — 7. The Stewaway
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2107.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: During a game of "hide and seek," Stewie takes refuge in Quagmire's suitcase, only to wind up in Paris. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois take a getaway to Vermont, where Lois is intent on breaking Bonnie's Instagram "like" record.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - in my horny plans.
  - horny activities to do.
  - Then I lost my virginity at six
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - don't like to talk about sex at work.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - and drank some wine,

## S21 E8 — 8. Get Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2108.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie finds himself in public disgrace after a popstar unleashes her fan base on him for a benign comment. Meanwhile, Peter gets lap band surgery and enjoys the merriment of excess skin.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - as molds to Chinese sex doll companies.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - I did stuff with the stripper
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Peter needs to lose weight,

## S21 E9 — 9. Carny Knowledge
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2109.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter and Chris finish last in a "Generation Gap" game at a carnival, forcing them to try to reconnect. Meanwhile, Brian starts to date a carny, whom he can't break up with even after witnessing some of her crude habits.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - She likes sex
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - for you touching her breast.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - That son of a bitch.
  - Son of a bitch, I guess I did call you.
  - Um, hell yes.
  - Huh? Where the hell
  - Ah, damn it. Look what you guys did.
  - Fine, you're right, okay? I'm pissed.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Taking a whore bath

## S21 E10 — The Candidate
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2110.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Stewie and Doug compete for the honor of class "snack captain".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - and situation room and sex room.
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - 800-penis limit.
  - and have breasts.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - Not exactly. It's a porn room.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - so we brought punch.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Wow, what a little bitch.
  - Oh, crap. A alligator.
  - What the hell? You work for Doug now?
  - Damn it, get your act together
  - who literally sucks?
  - Damn it, Stewie! Stop kicking.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - Hey, fellas, three more beers
  - What do you mean "wine doesn't count"?
  - Yes, rosé is wine.

## S21 E11 — Love Story Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2111.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: The guys recount their first true love stories, leading to parodies of Castaway, Dirty Dancing, and various Meg Ryan rom-coms.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - song about female masturbation
  - and we probably had sex on set
  - P.S., that night we had sex,
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - without the sex?
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - In the Cut. Because naked!
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - portable pornography on telephones,
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - Son of a bitch!
  - to look like a pissy bird?
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Why don't you sit down and drink beer
  - We had booze, sexy music,

## S21 E12 — Old West
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2112.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: The guys try to help Mayor Wild West reconnect with his estranged father, Old West.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - the jean shorts say you're impotent,
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Meg's first bra."
  - I got Junior's first bra.
  - used underwear products.
  - No, I was telling my horse to get naked.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - Tell me about your hooker mom.
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - If not, she'll stab you in the liver
  - Mind if I shoot my pistol
  - with your own boot knife.
  - If I had my gun,
  - I associate you with guns,
  - guns make me think of war,
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - Huh, son of a bitch.
  - What the hell is he doing?
  - but she's got one hell of a voice.
  - I know, such rich guy bull crap.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - handsy when you're drunk,

## S21 E13 — Single White Dad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2113.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter is mistaken for being a single parent, and relishes in the perks that come with it.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Okay, that drawer is full of sex toys.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - so husbands can cheat on their wives.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - than actual murder, right?
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - on your garbage cans, you dick.
  - See? Total bitch, right?
  - This game sucks.
  - Donkey Kong sucks.
  - Aw, crap, three kids.
  - Stop it. Damn it.
  - I'm sorry. Who the hell are you,
  - Now, what the hell happened?
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Want a beer?
  - Do you want a beer?
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - Or the children slinging racist

## S21 E14 — White Meg Can't Jump
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2114.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg joins the Adam West High School basketball team, and her play is fueled by Peter's lambasting from the crowd. Meanwhile, Stewie goes down a rabbit hole of conspiracies, which ultimately ends with him developing multiple personalities.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - some teenage sexual encounter.
  - What's the big deal? It's just sex.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Hey, Meg, I can see your penis.
  - Peter, Meg's nipples
  - Ow, my nipple!
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - Aha! I hope your affairs are in order.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Jenkins, I'm taking you off this murder.
  - who likes to beat up dogs 'cause
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Turns out the first bitch
  - tough sum'bitch. He can handle it.
  - What the hell?
  - Damn it, I hate the Jase-Man!
  - Ow! What the hell, Stewie?
  - you tubby piece of crap.

## S21 E15 — Adoptation
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2115.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: To restore his public image, Carter adopts a young girl from an orphanage, drawing jealousy from Lois.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - look sharp at your sexual assault trial.
  - Not sexually.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Who wants to see my nipple rings?
  - I was in my underwear,
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - washing blood and semen off it
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - Kind of a dick move
  - Poor bastard's stuck
  - I'm not buying you candy. Go to hell.
  - Damn it, Chris! Now that's
  - Lois, what the hell are you doing?

## S21 E16 — The Bird Reich
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2116.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: To take advantage of a work policy granting leave in the event of a pet's death, Peter adopts the oldest bird he can find... and realizes it used to belong to Hitler. Meanwhile, after giving Stewie a signed copy of his book, Brian finds it in a free library, causing Brian to give up writing.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - "and I lost my virginity
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - repressed sexuality
  - what's cool to do sexually.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - then everyone would see your penis.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - You ever hear of revenge porn, Lois?
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Murdering strangers
  - Netflix for guns.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - honorable suicide fish.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - "My mother was a huge bitch,
  - and I have to bring in a private dick.
  - about dicks for hire.
  - Well, what the hell, Stewie?!
  - why the hell did you bring that bird
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - and a bottle of wine today,

## S21 E17 — A Bottle Episode
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2117.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois is blocked from a vacation rental app and accused of stealing after the family's trip to Nantucket. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian buy saltwater taffy in bulk, and try their hands at door-to-door sales in the community.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Yeah, that or a threesome, yeah.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - That's a ride-on sex machine.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - a knife for this cheese.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - you old bitch.
  - What the hell?
  - You're damn right I did!
  - You think I give a crap

## S21 E18 — Vat Man and Rob 'Em
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2118.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: When Peter gets a job as the new night watchman, he and the guys turn Pawtucket Brewery into an after-hours bar. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian's plan to collect "lost dog" return money backfires when Brian is used for a dangerous TikTok stunt.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - of a naked student.
  - Naked photos were taken
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - that hold all of the brewery's beer.
  - $20 per beer?

## S21 E19 — From Russia With Love
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2119.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After Brian's Instagram is hacked, Meg takes Stewie and Brian to Russia, only to realize she'd rather stay there. Meanwhile, Lois reverts to her tormented teenage self when Quagmire starts dating her high school bully.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Sex cults sound terrible,
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - one of my boobs had come in.
  - the empty side of my bra
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - a sex worker this time?
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - and I threatened to kill myself.
  - to go kill myself and I tracked
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - What a dumb bitch.
  - Ah! Son of a bitch!
  - She made my life a living hell.
  - Lois, what the hell's going on with you?
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - a half a bottle of vodka
  - that says, "Eto vodka-chas gde-to."
  - it's "wine o'clock,"

## S21 E20 — Adult Education
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2120.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 1/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Meg gets married in Russia but returns home after discovering she was used for a green card marriage. Meanwhile, Chris, in need of an extracurricular activity, joins Principal Shepherd in shooting pornos at the high school.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - "Sex in a School."
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - PORN MUSIC PLAYING
  - Huh, the porn school
  - Who calls their porno "Man
  - to make pornography?
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Then they got in a fistfight on the bus.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Already drunk at 9:15 ♪

## S22 E1 — 1. Fertilized Megg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2201.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Meg agrees to be Bruce and Jeffery's surrogate causing a pregnant Meg to annoy her family. But, when the couple fails to pick up the baby, the Griffin's must take care of their new family member.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - What an unexpected, sexy turn of events.
  - in non-sexual situations.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - machine with a bra in it.
  - Like eating edible underwear
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - but Jeffrey wrote a murder
  - Partying's in our blood.
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - Well, team, I tried meth.
  - like I'm really liking meth.
  - from Dad's drunk driving accident.
  - novelty wine glasses
  - an entire bottle of wine.

## S22 E2 — 2. Supermarket Pete
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2202.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: With the brewery under construction, Lois implores Peter to take a new job, but grows irate when he begins work at the grocery store. Meanwhile, armed with his police stories, Joe and Brian team up to write their own true crime novel.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - where she dresses up like a sexy maid
  - role of a sexy armoire,
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - of their daughter bigger boobs.
- Violence & injury — 8 moment(s)
  - one of my murder cases,
  - Murder case?
  - A lot of murdered women out there, Bri.
  - Yep, one man's murdered, estranged wife
  - Who was the murderer?
  - unsolved murders left,
  - in your gun and badge.
  - had ever been strangled
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - that just says: "Bitch
  - Ah, damn it, you said "drop
  - Get the hell out of
  - You're damn right I did.
  - Holy crap, has Lois seen you?!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - No, the Drunken Clam.

## S22 E3 — 3. A Stache From the Past
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2203.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When Peter loses the Griffins' home in a reverse mortgage, he and Mayor West travel to confront the man advertising the scheme, Tom Selleck. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian open a booth at the flea market, leading to a rivalry with Bruce.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Blue Bloods, and they film there.
  - From Blue Bloods.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - the Bitch, and the Wardrobe.”
  - Holy crap, a vintage Mr. Potato Head
  - (SUCKS TEETH) Lowest I
  - What the hell was that?
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - are just racist old packaging
  - Wow, that's very racist.

## S22 E4 — 4. Old World Harm
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2204.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and Lois vacation in Florida, only to discover they've rented a condo in a retirement community. Back at home, Brian helps Stewie take his first shower.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - to confront that sex
  - SEXY MUSIC PLAYING
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - You have a nice penis.
  - nice about my penis.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - strippers who carry guns.
  - Then who are the strippers?
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - Why do you need our blood
  - strippers who carry guns.
  - fleeing from bloodthirsty
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - It's suicide!
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Oh, you son of a bitch, I knew it.
  - Peter, what the hell?
  - Aw, crap, there's one
  - Man, Lois was pissed about
  - Hell, I didn't even get a chew toy.
  - Damn it! (INHALES, EXHALES)
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - mutual love of cocaine

## S22 E5 — 5. Baby, It's Cold Inside
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2205.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter is emasculated when, on their anniversary, he abandons Lois amidst a shark attack. Meanwhile, Stewie finds a mini fridge and lives the dorm lifestyle.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - I'm horny. Hornier than
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - safe word at that sex party.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Aw, damn it, I love this son of a bitch.
  - How the hell did you get that up here?
  - Damn it, Peter, you're supposed
  - You don't want to piss off Guy.
  - But what the hell.
  - and get on the damn pier.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Are you Are you drunk?

## S22 E6 — 6. Boston Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2206.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Stewie tries to civilize his half-brother, Boston Stewie, so that he may be adopted. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris start a venture in which people online pay Chris to sit on and smash cupcakes.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Uh, flat, dry condom in
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - to enjoy pornography any
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Shotgun shell full of shark teeth.
  - And a bloody shoe from
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - And why am I snorting regular cocaine
  - bacon-wrapped cocaine?
  - We caught you sneaking outside beers
  - you have to buy adoption fair beers.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - I survive on racist bleacher farts.
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - He'll sit on anything. He's a sit slut.

## S22 E7 — 7. Snap(ple) Decision
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2207.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Winner of a Snapple contest, Lois uses her winnings to take Meg on a tropical vacation. Flaunting their wealth, the two are kidnapped. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian undergo "friendship therapy".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - news was murdered here.
  - you're not blood relatives.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - You were too drunk to remember?
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - before telling a racist joke.

## S22 E8 — 8. Baking Sad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2208.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg discovers her tears produce delicious cookies, and her, along with her siblings, enjoy a profit until the success makes her too happy to cry. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys launch a "male talk show".
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Sorry, I already masturbated.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - that looked like a boob.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - son of a bitch. [EXHALES]
  - Man, this job sucks.
  - [PETER] Damn it, Joe.
  - Holy crap, $50,000!
  - my rope with this damn show.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Tom Tucker's wasted at the bar again.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - offensive Chinese accent,

## S22 E9 — 9. The Return of the King (of Queens)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2209.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Lois decides to sell the family's TV to help pay for Christmas presents; Kevin James gets upset over losing Peter as a viewer.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - play as the virgin Mary.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - have rough sex with your mother.
  - sexually harass doctors again.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - No nude wandering!
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - aftermath of a murder.
  - And last week, there was blood.

## S22 E10 — Cabin Pressure
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2210.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: When the Griffins win a trip to Maine at Peter's company picnic, they decide to invite their friends on the vacation; tensions run high and things soon spiral out of control when the cabin burns down.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - and clamp some lobsters to my nipples,
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - blood off our clothes.
  - and punch it through. So who was it?
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - to the people I've been bitching
  - You son of a bitch,
  - Hell ya! I'm gonna be
  - What the hell is happening?!
  - Damn it, Peter, focus.

## S22 E11 — Teacher's Heavy Pet
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2211.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Lois joins Chris' school as a substitute teacher.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 9 moment(s)
  - We're teens. We're horny for everything.
  - Guy friends gettin' horny ♪
  - [GROANS] Sleeping with
  - No, we really had sex.
  - sleeping with a student.
  - cannot sleep with students!
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - add a sexy beauty mark
  - It's so great he's having sex.
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - the boat with your penis?
  - A naked picture of Miss
  - A naked picture? Okay.
  - nude pictures of their mom.
  - get this nude photo of you?
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - You've seen thousands of hours of porn.
  - That's just porn.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - The corpse of the truth.

## S22 E12 — Take This Job and Love It
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2212.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and his friends wonder about what their dream jobs would be; Peter enters a sequence featuring himself as a James Bond-type; Quagmire reflects on his job as an aerobics instructor; Cleveland and Joe take part in a "Lethal Weapon" sequence.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - based on how your body moves during sex.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Nice penis, Todd.
  - The name is Alice. Alice Boobs.
  - jeans with no underwear.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - [SIGHS] Son of a bitch.
  - Son of a bitch.
  - Aw, crap, we didn't
  - It's the chief. What the hell?
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - tons of cocaine into L.A.
  - Yes, cocaine has been ravaging
  - for the movie The Hangover,
  - to get drunk and tell
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - racist uncle hates you.

## S22 E13 — Lifeguard Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2213.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Stewie and Brian become overwhelmed after winning a coffee shop; Peter and his friends annoy Meg at her new lifeguard job when they don't follow the pool rules.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - while I'm pooping blood from the stress.
  - way not blood-related.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - beers to get there, Meg.

## S22 E14 — Fat Actor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2214.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter tries to protest Hollywood after learning that Brad Pitt was cast in a biopic about a politician. After Pitt injures himself on set, Peter must act out the role himself.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - of a strip club for touching.
  - on a porn site for me?
  - [CHRIS] And stepson porn.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - my horrific cocaine habit

## S22 E15 — Faith No More
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2215.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian becomes romantically interested in someone and it inspires him to use Stewie's time machine. Strange consequences result from their journey.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 9 moment(s)
  - Uh, okay, and, and then we'll have sex?
  - You're horny and she
  - wouldn't have sex with you.
  - in case the condom broke.
  - And my mom's a virgin.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - of sexual harassment?
  - Sex? Brian, I'm Christian.
  - Ooh, sexy. I feel so sophisticated.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - I'm weirdly seeing a prostitute
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Neuter yourself, dick.
  - Oh, yeah, I'm that bitch.
  - Christianity sucks.
  - What the hell?
  - How the hell did you find me?
  - Carl Sagan tried this crap?
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - I turn this water into wine.

## S22 E90 — Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Cheater
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2290.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - I'm a registered sex offender.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - '80s horror boob movie
  - Hashtag big screen boobs.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Except he's holding a big knife

## S23 E0 — . Gift of the White Guy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2300.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - he used to sleep with Rupert.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - that sex toys are not
  - immigrants are dropping sexy M&Ms
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Are these guns from Rick and Morty?
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - to commit suicide
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Thanks. I just smoked a joint,
  - who's an angry drunk

## S23 E1 — 1. Fat Gun
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2301.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter and his family and friends star in a parody of "Top Gun."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - can sleep with her tonight?
  - so now I'm in the horny Navy.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - gonna do one of our sex bets
  - into a sexual relationship.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - What's your boobs' name?
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - is gonna be my rival at Top Gun?
  - I'm an instructor at Top Gun.
  - blood and brains in it.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - You know what you did, you bitch.
  - Ah, what the hell.
  - Damn it. I can't even without that.
  - I can't believe they fell for that crap.
  - Oh, yeah, such crap,
  - Damn it, they're stealing
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - It looks easy, and I can do it drunk.

## S23 E2 — 2. Live, Laugh, Love
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2302.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter tries to make Joe laugh when he realizes Joe has never found him funny. Lois chaperones Chris and Meg's school trip, where she hopes to reunite Principal Shepherd with his long-lost love.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - nipples and get out of here.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - I just put "gay stabbing."
  - They got the blood
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - Bitch, what you talking about?
  - Poor bastard. No one should
  - have to go through that hell.
  - Who the hell are these people?
  - some lame crap and Joe "ha ha's" it.
  - of crap that drink coffee,
  - [MEG] Change the damn station!

## S23 E3 — 3. Drunk With Power
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2303.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter runs into Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh at a brewery tour.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - and have endless casual sex?
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - flurry of arrows to his colonial penis.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - Get a visible car, bitch.
  - Son of a bitch slipped me a Mickey.
  - I'm Tom Tower Holy crap.
  - Ugh. It sucks that this is the
  - What the hell? Amber should have won.
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - heard of beer before?
  - of you know what beer is?
  - beer can only be drunk in
  - I'm very drunk, Peter.
  - Three beers.
  - and getting blackout drunk 24/7,
  - Thanks, booze.

## S23 E4 — 4. Lois C.K.
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2304.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois becomes a stand-up comedian.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - ever faked an orgasm?
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Most couples have an active sex life.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Nipples all mushed up on Ben Franklin.
  - something derogatory about his genitals.
  - Well, now I feel like the boob.
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - So if you are cheating on Peter,
  - What?! No I am not cheating on Peter.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Buffoonery is in your blood.
  - I did not pull that punch.
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - He's being a little bitch
  - him being a little bitch.
  - Damn right. Today's the big day.
  - Where the hell is Peter?
  - Oh, damn it I'm missing
  - Holy crap, we only
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - told me to get as drunk as I want
  - beer bottles to throw

## S23 E5 — 5. The Chicken or the Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2305.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Meg starts dating a chicken she meets on a reality dating show "Sex Farm" and moves out when Peter disapproves of their relationship.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - camera, so don't masturbate.
  - of horny livestock.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - The hot new reality dating show Sex Farm
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - You gonna get murdered in Florida?
  - Fabio's got a bloody
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - you, you basic white bitch.
  - I saw his texts and it's all tiny cocks.
  - Honey, did you order a fat bag of crap?
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - And smoke weed, apparently.
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - racist or homophobic slurs.

## S23 E6 — 6. Dog Is My Co-Pilot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2306.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian and Quagmire successfully land the plane and go on a press tour.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - in exchange for sex,
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - a basic little bitch
  - Ah! Son of a bitch!
  - Will you quit doing personal crap
  - Sorry, sorry, what the hell is this?
  - Damn it, Brian, that's enough.
  - What the hell's Quagmire doing?
  - Ah! Damn it.
  - Oh, crap, it's the Block Island ferry!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - hops for beer-making,

## S23 E7 — 7. Pitch Imperfect
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2307.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter must gain his family's respect back after he makes a humiliating throw. Brian and Stewie become chiropractors.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Stanley Tucci's a sex symbol now.
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - someone's penis works,
  - I see GIFs of people without genitals.
  - in between her underwear
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - for the pornography
  - the name to "Porn Hub Field."
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - What about beer, pretzels,
  - 'Cause I'm New-England-lady drunk.
  - euthanasia cocktail.
  - name-brand euthanasia cocktails,

## S23 E8 — 8. Hard Times at Adam West High
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2308.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Chris uses Stewie's time machine to stop himself from having an erection during a book report. Peter becomes jealous when he sits out of a lottery pool and the guys win $123.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - just masturbated I, too, masturbated.
  - horny and Black friend."
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Oh, you kinda sexy liar.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - for her vagina.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - Uh Uh, having an affair?
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - pistol is back in its holster.
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - Son of a bitch killed his wife and
  - Uh, uh Go, bitch! Whatever, bitch!
  - Crap! Secondary password?
  - That just blew my damn mind.
  - Damn it! It's not fair.
  - Holy crap! What happened?
  - What the hell are you doing?

## S23 E9 — 9. The Elle Word
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2309.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Quagmire starts dating a mystery woman, Peter, Joe, and Cleveland go on a stakeout and discover her to be The Librarian.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - closet just masturbated
  - I, too, masturbated.
  - horny and Black friend."
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Oh, you kind of sexy liar.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - For her vagina.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - Uh having an affair?
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - pistol's back in its holster.
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - Son of bitch killed his
  - Uh, uh, go, bitch.
  - Crap. Secondary password?
  - That just blew my damn mind.
  - Damn it! It's not fair.
  - Holy crap! What happened?
  - What the hell are you doing?

## S23 E10 — A Real Who's Hulu
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2310.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 1/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: This episode will feature three Hulu parodies such as Only Murders in the Building, The Dropout and The Bear.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - It says I'm the horny priest
  - What if I told you there's condoms
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - which Sex and the City
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - with Stewie as the penis. Not a joke.
  - Uh, I see your naked roommate
  - Oh, I-I thought it was sexy underwear.
- Violence & injury — 9 moment(s)
  - Murders in the Building.
  - Our murders are solved by
  - only murder in this building.
  - Ooh, a murder. I've got goosebumps.
  - was murdered in cold blood,
  - profile of a murderer.
  - The murderer is
  - about how to get blood stains
  - Didn't you see the blood on his shirt?

## S23 E11 — China Doll
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2311.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Stewie finds out his stuffed bear Rupert was made in China and makes it his mission to take him back there to meet his family.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - it did mess him up sexually.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - that led to the affair!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - still on it! I brought wine.
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - it's racist, so how could
  - of an obscure regional racism.

## S23 E12 — One Foot in Front of the Mother
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2312.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Brian wears a shock collar while Chris discovers a talent for speed walking.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - can be trusted around a starting pistol,
  - beating him in a race walk
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - You know she killed herself, right?
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - No way. This is payback, you dick.
  - a total dick all week.
  - Ah, damn it! I'm gonna kill you, Brian!
  - What the hell's going on over here?
  - What the hell happened to us, Don?
  - [BARKS] Ow, damn it!
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Well, he needs to lose weight.

## S23 E13 — The Fat Lotus
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2313.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Peter suspects an affair between Lois and Quagmire.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - and had sex with his best friend,
  - and I'm the only virgin on this boat.
  - Let's have crazy vacation sex,
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - with the lopsided boob job, heh?
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - milkshake with vodka in it.
  - Caught shoplifting booze and a T-shirt?
  - wasted when we hang out.

## S23 E14 — Cool Hand Lois
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2314.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois abandons her responsibilities as a mother and dates Bonnie when she masturbates for the first time, so Peter and Joe crash their wives' couples' trip to win them back.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 7 moment(s)
  - masturbation ed class.
  - do you want to have sex
  - to sleep with one of your friends.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Sex is nothing to be ashamed of.
  - You know, all this sexual liberation
  - Used to be sexually unsatisfied women
- Affairs / cheating — 3 moment(s)
  - your wives be unfaithful
  - you have to let your wife be unfaithful
  - You didn't actually cheat on me?
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - such a bitch all the time.
  - What the hell, Chris?
  - Hell yeah, Yzerman! Let's go!
  - on the damn table.
  - Being a cuckold sucks.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - glass of wine or something?

## S23 E15 — Martian Meg
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2315.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: Meg enlists in a training program for a mission to Mars when she gets fed up with feeling like she doesn't belong.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Other deviant sex groups get these too.
  - I'm sexually desirable too.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - It's a god-awful small affair ♪
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - beating up the wrong guy ♪
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - and they're a home-wrecking slut.

## S23 E16 — Row v. Wade
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2316.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Brian wins a boat on "The Price is Right" and decides to sail to Texas to help women seeking legal abortions.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - All right, guys, no more orgasm
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - sounds when you see naked paintings.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - emotional affair with my trainer.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Since the beer's expired,
  - dust-covered can of beer.

## S23 E17 — Karenheit 451
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2317.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois becomes the leader of a group of mothers who want to ban books from schools.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Ain't everything sexual.
  - and it was very sexual.
  - a sex pest, and a wheelchair cuck.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - of Hunter Biden's penis.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - eight-part murder mystery
  - here's your gun.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - I stopped at red lights like a bitch.
  - What the hell?
  - [GASPS] Crap, I have to get
  - Peter. It was hell.
- Alcohol & drugs — 7 moment(s)
  - champagne and strawberries.
  - Drunk or sober,
  - Casamigos Tequila.
  - the tequila for guys
  - That that beer is
  - Beer is hiding the truth!
  - dudes bound by booze!
- Racism & slurs — 3 moment(s)
  - for doing blackface?
  - We don't want to hear your racist book!
  - Let him read his racist book!

## S23 E18 — Twain's World
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2318.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Brian plans to improve his writing by convincing Stewie to go back in time and bring Mark Twain to the present-day.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - write a great novel, not masturbate.
  - See? The worst masturbation
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - stop doing sex stuff.
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - penis and we'll give you free beer.
  - and flash your current genitals.
  - A woman with a penis,
  - a man with a vagina.
  - Just bring a naked baby picture
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - in this world is pornography.
  - I love porn.
  - I want to make porn.
  - Anyone can make pornography, but
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - Maybe something about a murdered woman.
  - Okay, what about a murder mystery?
  - A big, murderous Injun,
  - then gets murdered by an NFT?
  - Bonnie lay dead in a pool of blood.
  - Detective Bo Bonsen held the gun
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - Light beer is the cornerstone
  - Feels like a wine mom apron
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - a racist, sexist screed
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - mom's a whore, friends betray him,

## S24 E1 — 1. The Edible Arrangement
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2401.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: For the first time in the show's history, Lois and Stewie finally understand each other -- thanks to Brian's edibles -- and explore and try to explain their complicated relationship.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - sexual harassment course today,
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - This is like The Hangover

## S24 E2 — 2. Pumpkin Spice Girls
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2402.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Lois and Meg take their love for pumpkin spice lattes to criminal extremes.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - I'll just work out this sexual
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Whale's vagina!
  - most of the cast had seen his penis.
  - a broad with small boobs.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - confusion in my porn searches later.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - of getting stabbed in the face.
  - the smoking gun we needed.
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - Hey, bitch. Let's get PSLs.
  - Nice! Up top, bitch.
  - damn free libraries everywhere,

## S24 E3 — 3. Man-Fest Destiny
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2403.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 14+)
Summary: Peter and the guys become shipwrecked at Fire Island; Chris and Brian perform a lobotomy on a social-media-crazed Stewie.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - are playing underwear volleyball.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - to look for bin Laden's corpse
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - are pretty bitchy
  - Damn! Right to voicemail.
  - hell off this island.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - do you still have that cocaine
  - because a drunk guy at a bar said to.
  - of music, dance and flavored vodka.

## S24 E4 — 4. Bringing Up Brady
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2404.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Meg pursues an unlikely friendship with an NFL great; Stewie and Brian host a dinner party at a home furnishing store.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Porn / adult-channel plot is part of this episode.
  - late night pizza and prostitute guy.
  - talking about pizzas or prostitutes.
  - free porn on your phone,
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - murdered by Aaron Hernandez,
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - Ah, this must be the dick-ish
  - Bri, we gotta kill this bitch.
  - Meg? What the hell are you doing here?
  - Whoa, holy crap! Tom Brady?
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - We're just drunk men who get
  - Wanna come get blackout drunk with me
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - word "whore" on my chest.

## S24 E5 — 5. Dear Francis
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2405.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: Peter calls out the name "Francis" while making love with Lois, but she believes he meant his deceased father, leading to a round of therapy. Things worsen when Lois discovers "Frances" is the name of the Clam's new, pretty waitress.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Thanks for getting me sex, spider.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Ignore the penis pictures.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - time to call shotgun on your father,
  - Thanks, and all good about the shotgun.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - Park guy who killed himself.
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - drunk, backwards-hat sex last night,

## S24 E6 — 6. Viewer DMs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2406.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In this follow up to the "Viewer Mail" episodes, the Griffin family retells The Lord of the Rings,? explains how the Griffins' ancestors arrived in Quahog, and looks back at Quagmire's 1960s variety show.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - in a caricature of sexual longing.
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - Look, I'm putting the gun down.
  - years to invent guns,
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - He's so stoned.
  - [GIGGLES] Silly beer.

## S24 E7 — 7. Scent of a Woman
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2407.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 5/5, language 3/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Brian discovers his nose can detect diseases and smells that someone in the Griffin house has cancer.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - many guys she's had sex with,
  - Did you sleep with Arthur Aaronson?
  - Did you sleep with Acme Pest Control?
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - sniffing Patty's bra.
  - I'm getting a whiff of breast
  - cancer from Patty's bra.
  - [SIRI] Breasts.
  - have "breasts cancer."
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - look at the strippers.
  - so I can support the strippers.
  - of a big tray of strip club ziti.
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - if he really killed himself.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - And she went to Bitch-igan State.
  - I dare you to get the hell out of here.
  - Damn it, if he gets my TV Guide
  - It's so damn unfair!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - I'm wasted by the way ♪

## S24 E8 — 8. Play Time
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2408.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: In this three-act parody, the Griffins spoof the stage by putting up To Kill a Mockingbird, The Odd Couple and Hamlet.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - He he. Classy masturbation joke, son.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - accuse men of sexual assault are liars.
  - on trial for sexual assault?
  - ever turn down any kind of sex,
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Also, there's a naked etching
- Violence & injury — 8 moment(s)
  - Especially when my Murderball team needs
  - Take Stab Street to Knifey Lane.
  - so I'm gonna stab you
  - gonna murder this guy.
  - and an XL Murderball jersey.
  - and violate his corpse. Hamlet.
  - Whoa, he did it! That son-of-a-gun!
  - gonna punch my daughter tonight!
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - munchkin used to hang himself.
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - You dick. This is why
  - Oh, crap, everybody
  - Who the hell are these kids? They
  - Ah, damn it. He saved it.
  - Damn it, Chris, you said
  - Boo! This sucks!
  - What the hell?
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - This play about racism is about
  - God, this country is racist.

## S24 E9 — 9. Phony Montana
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2409.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: After going on a date with a Cuban-American woman named Carmen, Brian inexplicably develops a Cuban accent- which he worries will hurt his chances with her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Just having sex with
  - A very sexy sweat suit, I might add.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - an elbow brush on the boob.
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - mouth, blood comes out.
  - Hey, that's your flesh and blood, man.
  - fistfight in my yoga class, were you?
  - You're gonna get us beat up
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - Like maybe that bitch shouldn't
  - have run her bitch mouth.
  - You see this crap about Ron DeSantis?
  - But everyone gets all pissed if I do it.
  - Oh, crap, man. It's Carmen.
  - wait! What the hell was that?

## S24 E10 — A Few More Ways to Die in the West
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2410.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In this Griffin family spoof of the Old West, Peter, known as Quiet Burp, and his gang of outlaws agree to escort a wealthy businessman on a train journey.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Which scene does he get nude in?
  - And in Yellowstone there's a naked king.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - Stayed up with a prostitute last
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - could prop up his corpse
  - hired guns to blow into my town.
  - [GUN FIRING]
  - I'm the one with the aimed gun.
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - you sadistic son of a bitch! [SLAPS]
  - Damn it, Dog Holiday!
  - hell bent for leather.
  - Holy crap! Look!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - drunk driving desks.

## S24 E11 — Tall Stewie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2411.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: When Stewie puts on a pair of boots that make him slightly taller, his newfound confidence changes the power dynamic in the Griffin family.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - We get to have sex!
  - Those girls want to have sex!
  - to rich horny guys also
  - sleeping with guys on that app.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - and sex with models.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - underwear with this dress.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - Oh, my God! Lois is cheating on me!
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - you short, bald bitch.
  - Yeah. Who's a short, bald bitch now?
  - You bastard! How'd you do it?
  - Oh, hell, yeah! I'm gonna
  - Damn! Mom will open it up for anybody.
  - Hell, I did too.
  - Damn it, Peter!
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - He gets drunk and then works out?
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - Big, fat ass.

## S24 E12 — Lower G.I. Joe
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2412.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 14)
Summary: A colonoscopy reveals Peter has a rare collectible toy action figure lodged in his intestine, but the reward for selling it causes a rift between him and the guys.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - Was it my penis?
  - not your penis.
  - Lying naked on the floor ♪
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - of the road like a runaway hooker.
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - months of bloody toilet water
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - bitch Sarah McLachlan
  - Bonnie's a bitch.
  - What the hell is that?
  - Damn. Look, all I'm saying is
  - Holy crap, it does say that.
  - Those bastards are actually suing me
  - Peter, what the hell are you doing?
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - some tasty colonoscopy prep cocktails.
  - colonoscopy prep cocktails.

## S24 E13 — Friend's Best Man
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2413.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 5/5, language 2/5, overall 5/5 (Heavy — skip for under 16)
Summary: Stewie becomes engaged to Rupert, but Brian is upset when he is not chosen as the best man.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - Make a sex tape!
  - how many sexual aids
  - How big are the sexual aids?
  - I think I can finally own my sexuality.
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Got to see them night boobs. [MUTTERING]
  - deserve to be seen naked.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 7 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - I once made a naughty librarian porn.
  - in the strip club pasta,
  - back to the strip club
  - instead of pornography.
  - The porn community is very creative.
  - in Creating Pornography Image Award.
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - wine that's mostly chemicals,
  - the signature cocktail.
  - He dressed for "tropical cocktail".
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - I feel like a cheap whore.

## S24 E14 — Let the Goodtimes Walk
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2414.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: A powerful sleeping aid medication gives Joe the ability to walk while he is asleep, but Joe grows concerned when it becomes clear that the guys prefer his sleepwalking self.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - Not masturbating gets a month!
  - minus condoms, plus B-O?
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
  - have a better sex life than we do.
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Your boobs are so wet.
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - by blood, you're the center.
  - Let me punch your shrew card, Lois.
  - if a woman gets slapped in
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - That was my beer for which I've
  - [BOTH] Beer!
  - or is it like champagne and

## S24 E15 — High School History
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/family-guy/2415.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 14+)
Summary: In this three-act parody of prominent historical eras, the Griffins take a humorous look at The French Revolution, the American Civil War, and World War II.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - only do masturbation stuff.
  - do some masturbation stuff.
  - This is why I sleep with guys.
  - Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - genitals outside the ladies' restroom?
  - to be a woman with her boob hanging out.
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - [WITH THICK ACCENT] Let them eat cock!
  - What? Oh, you bitch!
  - It won't just piss people off?
  - Damn it, Meg, I told you
  - What the hell?
  - But Seward's right. Gettysburg sucks.
  - just to let a guy take a crap.