# Modern Family — parent guide (246 episodes)

Source: https://watchwiththekids.com/modern-family.html
Scoring: violence, sex and language each 1–5; overall = the highest of the three.
Buckets: 129 all clear (1–2), 94 gray area (3), 23 hard pass (4–5).

## S1 E1 — 1. Pilot
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0101.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: A new half-hour comedy that takes an honest and often hilarious look at the complexities of modern day families.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.”
  - “How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One Six.”
  - “one minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next you're lying underneath the air-hockey table with your bra un-pocket!”
  - “Oh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, I'm leaving! Dad! - I hope he didn't embarrass you, mom.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “It's the number one village in north Columbia for all the what's the word? - Murders.”
  - “Yes, the murders.”
  - “Don't mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.”
  - “…They're only plastic bb's! It was an accident! What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun?”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “MOM! DAD! - What happend? Luke just shot me! - I didn't mean to! Are you okay? - No, the little bitch shot me!”
  - “Manny, stop him! Damn it, Manny!”
  - “What the hell is that suppose to mean? Yes, I've gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the baby.”
  - “Oh my God, do you love it? -Yes, I What the hell is that? I had Andre do it when we we were gone.”

## S1 E2 — 2. The Bicycle Thief
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0102.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “No slapping your own butt.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Just get me to wine -- Ooh.”

## S1 E3 — 3. Come Fly With Me
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0103.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: After some nudging, Jay begrudgingly takes Phil out to fly his new model airplane -- that is until a maneuver goes awry. Meanwhile, when Gloria drops Manny off to play with Luke, she ends up volunteering to take Alex dress shopping, and Claire finds herself sitting down for an unexpected brother and sister heart-to-heart with Manny.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Did you do it to look sexy? No, did you do it for a guy? Does grandpa like it? No, no, and yes.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “" Can we just please get the diapers and get out of here? Fine, but I want to stop by the wine section first.”
  - “There's a wine section? Yeah, a really good one -- just past the tires.”

## S1 E4 — 4. The Incident
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0104.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “My mom started drinking these cocktails Called "horny colombians" With some of gloria's uncles, Whom, apparently, the drink was named after.”
  - “I just can't give myself to him sexually.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other When I saw his wallet and her boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Do you care to join me? You know, honey, there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage.”
  - “Like a -- like a lumberjack? No, he logs blood samples into a cholesterol study.”
  - “If I were you, I'd want to punch me right in the mouth.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “And because of me, who -- who's not a mama's boy, But is a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight, So make a note, bitches.”
  - “Wow, "mommy"? No, I didn't say it -- damn it.”
  - “So you just spring it on gloria like this? Mitchell, what the hell is wrong with you? I don't want her apologies.”
  - “Not a chance in hell.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, nana got totally wasted.”

## S1 E5 — 5. Coal Digger
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0105.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things very awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “As far as I'm concerned, mum and dad had sex two times.”
  - “It's weird to think of a woman being sexually attracted to dad.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “We all know you'd be fine without underwear.”
  - “I don't know what my husband is saying to you, or why he's covered in your underwear Obviously, I'm trying to seduce him for his money.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Now, in this family, do we kick and punch each other, - or do we love each other? - Love each other.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Do you know that she spends at least 45 minutes every morning doing her hair? And then, sometimes, she Let's go, Illini! Let's go, right now! Oh, looks like I got to watch the game with Dick Butkus.”
  - “…is courageous enough to stand up and say something Behind someone's back to a 10-year old? Well, she's pissed.”
  - “Just snap the damn thing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Dad, loo I was coming to get a beer, anyways.”

## S1 E6 — 6. Run for Your Wife
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0106.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest. Over at Jay's, he and Gloria are in disagreement over Manny's interesting choice of outfit for his first day of class, and Mitchell and Cameron freak out after Lily gets her first bump on the head.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “The poncho plus the flute plus the stupid dance -- My son will die a virgin.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sweet! Two at a time, two at a time, two at a -- Son of a gun, got to fix that step.”

## S1 E7 — 7. En Garde
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0107.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell. Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “All right, let's talk about why you got your panties in a bunch.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's in his blood.”

## S1 E8 — 8. Great Expectations
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0108.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present - a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine! However, it turns out to be a surprise in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their party-girl bestie, Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Um, how much are you gonna pay me to go make out with the waitress? All right.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Maybe if you wore a bra- - Alex.”
  - “Ba-boobs! Oh, my God.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Pay up, bitches.”
  - “I love my wife, but she sucks at giving gifts.”
  - “Whoo! - Cabo! - What? Seriously, you bastards.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Fun? Are you joking? Margaritas, you guys, these guys.”
  - “Give her eight shots of tequila.”

## S1 E9 — 9. Fizbo
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0109.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want. But when Cameron shows up as Fizbo, the Clown, it sets of a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “He's- He's the least sexual being on earth.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “There are four types of clowns- a tramp, an Auguste, a whiteface and a character.”
  - “Sad clown is a tramp.”

## S1 E10 — Undeck the Halls
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0110.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Christmas is in full swing at the Dunphy house until the kids get in some trouble and Phil and Claire threaten to take away Christmas until one of them fesses up. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions while Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices, and Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa -- but end up with a disgruntled mall Santa on their hands -- .
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “We remember the year Santa punched out the caroler.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You know what? Somebody needs to get in the holiday- God rest ye merry gentlemen Son of a bitch.”
  - “We wish you a merry Christmas And happy- Son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell is that? Still funny.”
  - “What the hell is that? What the hell is that? [Both Laughing.]”

## S1 E11 — Up All Night
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0111.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad. Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Into that sexy, clingy- Oh, my God.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Machine Gun Fire.
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell? Dad! There's my boy! [Laughs.]”
  - “The hell is he doing here? Jay.”
  - “Damn it! I'm sorry.”
  - “Oh, damn it! [Gloria.]”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Wow! And I have some nice wine, a good Cuban cigar for Jay.”

## S1 E12 — Not in My House
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0112.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “If we don't handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex or agribusiness.”
  - “Boys don't want their moms talking to 'em about sex any more than girls want their dads talking to 'em about periods, bras and girdles and all that stuff.”
  - “That-That-That is exactly the kind of sexual revolution that our son is going through right now.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “He told me he needed it to do homework, and then I find this, a-a picture of a topless woman, with the biggest boobs I have ever seen, driving a tractor.”
  - “Breasts are like these scary, mystical things that he's drawn to like Frodo to Mordor.”
  - “When I find out that my children are looking at a naked picture online, they don't have any privacy.”
  - “Who was looking at naked pictures? - That doesn't matter.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - “But I am telling him that every time he looks at porn, God kills a puppy.”
  - “I didn't find any more porn.”
  - “You read it too? Am I the only one who hasn't read it? I was looking through the computers in the house for pornography.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “So, what'd he do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater.”
  - “He did not cheat on a test.”

## S1 E13 — Fifteen Percent
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0113.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies, Shorty, might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second - except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Just- Like, the lipstick, the hair, push-up bra.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “" I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Tomato soup because, you know, the tomato soup is like the blood.”
  - “And the vampires like to eat the blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know? I'll get some nice bottle of wine, a little cheese.”

## S1 E14 — Moon Landing
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0114.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “The next time you picture me, leave the underwear out of it.”
  - “…want to impress, and what do I find? A bunch of booze-drenched hill people just sitting around in their underwear and-and chasing rats and fornicating in the stairwell.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, you should have thought about that before you took that skank Sharon Nicolini to an Anne Hathaway movie.”

## S1 E15 — My Funky Valentine
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0115.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “In Oregon, the state legislature ratified a, uh, bill that from now on it is a crime to have sex in Oregon with a farm animal.”
  - “Jay, you look so strong and sexy.”
  - “You're gonna wake up a sexy sleeping giant.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, th- My bra.”
  - “Oh, my G- My underwear.”
  - “Come on! What are you, naked under there? Aw, geez.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Phil- Or [Chinese Accent.]”

## S1 E16 — Fears
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0116.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him. Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test, Manny's sudden illness before a friend's amusement park birthday party makes Gloria suspicious, and Cameron and Mitchell invite Lily's pediatrician over for what turns out to be an anxiety-ridden brunch.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “And then suddenly you come in with all of your Asian-ness and-and-and breasts and womb, lady bits- and it all just comes rushing back to her, and I- You guys are overreacting.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What if it's really expensive bottles of wine? Or a suit of armor.”

## S1 E17 — Truth Be Told
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0117.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble. Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, this is because of the thing I said about Facebook and everybody's hooking up, and now you're disappointed.”
  - “How's it going?" You can't add the sexy voice.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It was like a bloody pillow fight.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “He's a miserable son of a bitch who may have heard everything I just said.”
  - “Holy- Shel? You all right, buddy? Oh, hell.”
  - “By the time I walked in, he had- the little bastard had him by the neck and shaking him.”
  - “I am a lawyer, damn it.”
  - “Damn it! Hello, Jay.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know what? I'm gonna open a bottle of wine.”
  - “Are you telling me that I wasted a year of my life on this relationship? - What relationship? - How many other women have you led on? - Now I don't know! - [Claire.]”

## S1 E18 — Starry Night
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0118.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Shotgun, sucka! - [Jay Laughing.]”
- Swearing — 1 moment(s)
  - “Who did this? You coward son of bitches!”

## S1 E19 — Game Changer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0119.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission. Meanwhile, before coming to Phil's party, Mitchell is preoccupied with a new found desire to toughen up, Cameron gets himself involved in a neighbor's marital problems, and it's Jay against Gloria and Manny in chess.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “He's the one that's having an affair.”
  - “You could not cheat on her! How about that? Because it has to be a surprise.”

## S1 E20 — Benched
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0120.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits in the middle of a game, Jay and Phil both jockey to fill the position. Claire and Gloria each struggle with the realization that they might not be number one in their children's lives anymore, and Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer, but Cameron's big personality doesn't necessarily help to make a good impression.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I sleep with your daughter.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Alex, honey? When you're out shopping, you might wanna pick yourself up a training bra.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “We both know that your Latin blood makes that impossible.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “She makes a hell of a margarita.”

## S1 E21 — Travels With Scout
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0121.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit. Meanwhile, when Cameron hears Dylan is down a drummer in his band, he enthusiastically offers to fill in, and Jay and Gloria have to pay the consequences of accidentally taking Manny to see a traumatizing horror movie.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I made the mistake of letting him sleep with me on the road.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “How did he get ahold of your bra? Well, uh, we were out on a date, and he has a really nice car, so- How do you think? He got it out of the laundry basket.”
  - “Geez, someone's panties are in a bunch.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “It's a miracle I didn't end up a stripper.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - Knife Slashing.

## S1 E22 — Airport 2010
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0122.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, security breaches and flying phobias.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you question the other people on the gate, huh? Did you see the old lady with the cane? What if she has a ceramic knife in there that can go through the metal detector?”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Just, uh, almost killed myself on your fire truck.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Are you drunk? Kinda.”
  - “I wanted to spend some time alone with my husband- drink cocktails by the pool, sleep in.”

## S1 E23 — Hawaii
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0123.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee, and the kids get into a little bit of mischief when left to their own devices.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Maybe we can find a nice spot near them by the pool and send over a couple of virgin mai tais.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “What's up, jackass? Happy birthday, you dumb son of a bitch.”
  - “Does anybody want to come? Now, why in the hell would anyone want to leave paradise, take a hot bus ride to see a tree? The great thing about Cameron is that, uh, he's adventurous, like I am.”
  - “Ate like crap and drank too much.”
  - “To tell you the truth, that call from my brother scared the hell out of me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Well, what happened? - You're not going to like this as much as I do, but she's drunk.”
  - “Yeah, well, she got drunk, and now she's upstairs throwing up.”
  - “One minute you're having wine coolers at homecoming, and the next the game of Truth or Claire sweeps your high school.”

## S1 E24 — Family Portrait
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0124.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game* and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Where's my good underwear? The question is, why isn't all your underwear good, Jay? You make a nice living.”
  - “The new maid keeps mixing up my underwear with Manny's.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Not by blood.”
  - “Touch me and there will be blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, red wine.”

## S2 E1 — 1. The Old Wagon
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0201.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: As ABC's Emmy Award-winning series "Modern Family" returns for its second season, Claire finally gets Phil to agree to sell their old station wagon, but not before everyone has to take it on one last ride down memory lane. Meanwhile, when a haphazard hammer-wielding Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily, Cameron calls Jay in for reinforcement, and Manny invites a cute girl over for a study date -- which makes Gloria a little uncomfortable -- .
Watch for:
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Who's the bitch now, bitches? - Honey, it looks beautiful.”
  - “What the hell? Mitchell did that? Yes.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, pardonnez-moi! I prefer the champagne Dijon to the standard yellow.”
  - “But you two ladies enjoy your light beers.”
  - “How you know we're having light beers? - We only have light beers.”

## S2 E2 — 2. The Kiss
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0202.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Jay pokes fun at Gloria's pledge to honor her grandmother's memory by cooking traditional Colombian cuisine. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell debate the merits of public displays of affection; and Alex's interest in a boy brings out Claire's overbearing side.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, I'm sorry that I don't wanna make out with you in front of my whole family.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car wearing nothing but your underwear and a police blanket? Oh, my God.”
  - “So you were arrested naked? - I wasn't naked.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Beats slapping the chicken.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer before I hit you in the head, head, head.”

## S2 E3 — 3. Earthquake
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0203.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: An earthquake hits, leaving Claire stuck in the bathroom with the plumber, Manny experiencing an existential crisis while out with Jay, and Mitchell and Cameron digging themselves deeper into a lie when they use the quake to get out of a themed brunch party thrown by their friend, Pepper.
Watch for:
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “For 15 years, I have killed myself setting a community standard with my fanciful themed brunches mounted at great personal expense.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I was going to bring you wine, but you finished the big bottle last night.”
  - “I-I'm gonna make you a cocktail.”

## S2 E4 — 4. Strangers on a Treadmill
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0204.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Mitchell enlist each other's help in trying to spare their significant others from embarrassment - Cameron from his unfortunate wardrobe choices, and Phil from his joke-ridden speech for the realtors' banquet. Meanwhile Jay tries to prove a point to Gloria by attending a quincea-era thrown by one of his employees, and Haley gives Alex sisterly advice on how to be cool.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “They will do each ether's murders.”
  - “What are you babbling about? You owe me a murder.”

## S2 E5 — 5. Unplugged
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0205.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Noticing that everyone is too busy on their electronic devices to actually interact with one another, Claire and Phil declare a family challenge to see who can stay unplugged the longest. Meanwhile, it's a race against the clock as Mitchell and Cameron frantically try to get Lily into the best pre-schools, and Jay and Manny are concerned about how far Gloria will go to alleviate their problem with the neighbor's barking dog.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Boobs Lori or adult braces Lori? - Great shoes Lori.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Raisin' barns, witnessin' murders, makin' electric fireplace hearths.”
  - “I want to strangle that crazy old thing.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Those skinny bitches.”
  - “Who are you really mad at, Larry the dog or your wife? - Who the hell is this kid? - There's no need for that.”
  - “His name is Shut Up Your Damn Dog! You know what's ironic? You come over here complaining and I have never once said a word about that obnoxious parrot of yours that's always squawking.”
  - “Parrot? - What parrot? Jay! Jay! Jay! - What is he talking about? What parrot? - How the hell do I know? - What do we do now? - Nothing.”
  - “I can't believe that I'm getting a car! Holy crap.”

## S2 E6 — 6. Halloween
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0206.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire loves Halloween and is gearing up to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters. She gives each family member a role to play, but none of it goes quite right... Cameron can't shake a traumatic childhood experience and hates the holiday, Mitchell has had a terrible day at work, and Gloria is acting weird after Jay and Manny teased her about her accent.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Cam, I have to say, I feel kinda sexy.”
  - “Well, squeaky sexy, but You know I'd be enjoying this more if Halloween wasn't such a tough day for me.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Claire and I are goin' as Corpse Bride and groom As if there's any other kind.”
  - “Those are some major guns you got there.”
  - “Yeah, I have a party to go to, so She punched me in the face! He came out of nowhere, and he scared the baby cheeses out of me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse no problem.”
  - “Trick or treat! We should just put out a bowl of candy and have a cocktail, right? - Yeah.”

## S2 E7 — 7. Chirp
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0207.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Haley have a bit of quality girl time while they're stuck at home sick, and Phil is preoccupied by the taunts of a chirping smoke detector. Gloria and Manny's surprise visit at Jay's work leads to headaches for Jay, and Cameron gets swept up by all the lights and cameras when he goes behind Mitchell's back and takes Lily for a commercial.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “But it's bumped out where the boobs go.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know something else you might find interesting Sonya is drinking because she married a buffoon when she was young and now she realizes she's wasted her entire life.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What's the problem? Don't you think this commercial just might be the teeniest bit racist? I mean, "Save-zilla"? It's not racist.”

## S2 E8 — 8. Manny Get Your Gun
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0208.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Everyone is gathering at a restaurant to celebrate Manny's birthday, though Manny himself is experiencing a mini-life crisis about getting older. Meanwhile, on the way to the restaurant, Phil and Claire decide to engage in a not-so-friendly car race there, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop at the mall to pick up a gift.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “What is going on? I wear tight clothing High-heeled shoes It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute, no, no .”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “Your mind is gonna be scattered! Manny, hand me the gun! I appreciate the gesture, and I'm not proud of how I'm feeling right now but the fact is, you cheated on me.”
  - “In what way did I cheat on y You cheated on me with choreography, and that is the worst kind.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “A BB gun? Enjoy.”
  - “Your mind is gonna be scattered! Manny, hand me the gun! I appreciate the gesture, and I'm not proud of how I'm feeling right now but the fact is, you cheated on me.”
  - “There's Mom! Beat her! - I don't think he's in the mood for that right now.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You'd think growing up in a place full of death squads and drunken uncles she'd have learned to move a little bit faster.”

## S2 E9 — 9. Mother Tucker
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0209.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cameron loves his mom, so Mitchell isn't quite sure how to tell Cam that she makes him a little uncomfortable. Meanwhile, when Haley finally breaks up with Dylan, Phil takes it harder than anyone else, and Jay's little stomach ache gets exacerbated when he and Manny start looking things up on a medical website.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “So, Haley, how long have I been paying this guy to make out with you? Uh, about a week.”
  - “I don't know if this is just sexual or Crazytown but your mother cannot keep her hands off of me and it's creeping me out.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Let me show you where you stabbed my mama.”
  - “It's like I'm being stabbed.”
  - “But also like I ate a bad scallop that's stabbing me from the inside.”
  - “One time I added salt to her casserole and he went into the garage and punched the car.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, is that the skank? - No.”
  - “No, there's there's no skank.”

## S2 E10 — Dance Dance Revelation
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0210.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: It's Luke & Manny's first school dance and everyone gets in on the "fun" -- Jay and Phil have to take the boys on a mall run which becomes quite stressful; and Claire revels in the school dance committee duties, but gets a little jealous when Gloria shows up to help. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam are horrified to learn that Lily is biting other kids on the playground.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “A sex symbol? Oh, stop it, Gloria.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “What the heck is that? It's a nicer word for "penis.”
  - “Oh, and a bra! Do you think the kids in my village have pocket squares? Here we go with the village.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Cookies for Lily wine for us.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Although he never said anything was black, 'cause he was a pretty big racist.”

## S2 E11 — Slow Down Your Neighbors
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0211.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a menacing car that speeds though their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bike -- only to learn Gloria needs lessons too -- and Mitchell and Cameron stumble upon a mysterious neighbor who is quite the charmer.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I think you should drag him out of his car and we all get turns punching him in the stomach until he barfs.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You gotta buy me a beer before you could put your hand up my sweater.”

## S2 E12 — Our Children, Ourselves
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0212.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Phil want Alex to relax a little about her studies, but then they start questioning their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Gloria tries to befriend another nice couple, much to Jay's chagrin, and Mitch and Cam run into and old female flame of Mitchell's, only to make a disturbing discovery.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's not It's just a little - You don't need to - I wouldn't even "Little Slugger"? I'm just gonna go and let you two catch up, so Um S'up? I never realized you ever had sex with a girl.”
  - “I never realized you ever had sex with a girl.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, actually - What? At our 10-year reunion we got a little drunk started reminiscing, one thing led to another You went back? I think I just wanted to see if I could.”
  - “You may be cool, but I'm wine cooler.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're so gay you can't even think of real girls' names.”

## S2 E13 — Caught in the Act
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0213.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Plans backfire when the kids go to surprise their parents with breakfast in bed on their anniversary, only to catch Phil and Claire in a compromising position. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's Vegas getaway is thwarted by a brutally honest email that was accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitch and Cam desperately try to get an "in" at the hot new neighborhood restaurant whose owner happens to be a mom at Lily's preschool.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “We were, as they say, having sex.”
  - “Having sex in front of our children.”
  - “So I guess what I'm saying here is that as you get older and explore your sexuality you will discover that as long as you are in a committed relationship with consenting adults, there's…”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You see, Jay and I It's a naked picture of Gloria.”
  - “So you just got done giving me a lecture on the importance of locking my bedroom door while in my house to retrieve naked pictures that your wife accidentally sent me.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's got a three-story wine tower right in the middle of it.”
  - “Guy who gets your wine flies around on a wire.”

## S2 E14 — Bixby's Back
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0214.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In an attempt to avoid turning into that old boring couple, Phil and Claire decide to revisit their Clive and Juliana role-playing rendezvous from last Valentine's Day. Meanwhile Jay has planned an elaborate surprise evening for Gloria, but his plans keep getting thwarted, and an admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell on V-day, but they can't agree whom the admiration is directed towards.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “We created sexy alter egos, Clive and Juliana met in the hotel bar.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “This one lost her panties in the lobby, in front of her dad - Phil.”
  - “Panties? Ye That Yes.”
  - “And the fact that you hear it too Is that Dylan? Who could make me feel this fine Oh, my God! So here's my broken valentine lmagine me naked I imagine you nude Am I a bad enough parent to ignore that? You are.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is someone pointing a gun at you? For goodness' sake.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, champagne? Um, actually, Claire, something's come up so gotta go.”

## S2 E15 — Princess Party
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0215.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Cameron is upset when Fizbo the clown is nixed from the guest list for Lily's princess-theme birthday party, but the invitees do include Mitchell's mom (Shelley Long), who shows up with Claire's high-school boyfriend (Matt Dillon).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I thought he was sexy.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I didn't want to dirty a knife.”
  - “Okay, gun to your head.”
  - “Which pair should I wear? Oh, gun to my head, I'd say pull the trigger.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Drunk? - All true.”
  - “Well, maybe a Fuzzy Navel wine cooler will loosen you up.”
  - “Dad, what's going on over there? She was a little nervous about your mother being here so she tried her first Xanax, washed it down with a shot of tequila.”
  - “We had a long talk last night after you and I "split" that bottle of wine and you "fell asleep" on the stairs.”

## S2 E16 — Regrets Only
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0216.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire had a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was over, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil and Jay takes Claire. Meanwhile, Jay may have some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fundraising event and enlists help from Mitchell and Luke -- which might not be the best choices -- .
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Gettin' a little soft, Grandpa? You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.”

## S2 E17 — Two Monkeys and a Panda
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0217.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: While Claire runs herself ragged trying to play peacemaker with Haley and Alex, Phil sneaks off for a nice relaxing day at the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two primo side-by-side crypts in preparation of the inevitable future, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted -- however, during the process he unearths artifacts that are quite disturbing -- .
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “What did Oprah do now? She had a girl on who at 16 found out that she was adopted and felt betrayed and ran away and became a stripper and not the heart-of-gold kind, the by-the-airport kind.”

## S2 E18 — Boys' Night
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0218.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire have some trepidation when they find out that Luke has befriended their crotchety old neighbor, Mr. Kleezak; Jay's attempt to avoid sitting through a symphony concert with Gloria and Manny lands him in the middle of Mitchell and Cameron's "boys' night out"; and Haley has her own adventures in babysitting with Lily.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, he looks like that dentist you hooked up with in Laguna.”
  - “Uh And keep your blinds closed when you're doing your little sexy dance.”
  - “He's seen my sexy dance.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Get your affairs in order, people.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “The bloodier the better.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Justin, more booze.”
  - “What's in 'em? It's a margarita with a shot of absinthe.”
  - “Justin, more booze! Oh! Haley! Hi.”
  - “Come with me! - It's a date! - Yay! I was drunk! I'm not going shopping with Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “You mean homos.”

## S2 E19 — The Musical Man
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0219.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cameron is relishing his role as interim music director at Luke and Manny's school, and he's taking on the upcoming spring musical performance with a little too much zest and fervor. Meanwhile, Jay's brother, Tommy, is in town for a visit, and their relentless brotherly ribbing goes a little too far; and Phil convinces the family to be in his new realty ad, but when he goes as far as to wrap the family minivan in the ad, the results are unexpected.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “That makes me look like a prostitute.”
  - “You're just selling your time, whereas a prostitute Okay, Phil, I have been driving around in this all day.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “How you doing, you dumb son of a bitch? Hey, you old mick.”
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “Irene, how the hell do I know where your glasses are? And there's Frisbee golf, and you go snow sledding on cafeteria trays.”
  - “Yeah? And that's the whole damn point.”
  - “Do you think I don't know that crap? I have known you cared about me since we were eight and 10 years old and that mook Joey Calieri stole my bike and you put his head in the ice.”
  - “Lower the We love the What the hell? No.”
  - “I can't believe we trusted you to put this on the car - after the debacle of that last picture and all the - Damn it.”

## S2 E20 — Someone to Watch Over Lily
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0220.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Mitchell and Cameron are looking to assign legal guardians for Lily in case anything were to happen to them, and are secretly assessing their family members. But no one is blowing their socks off, as they witness Jay giving Manny a dose of tough love, Claire secretly taking Luke to a child psychologist to assess his development, and Haley and Alex getting into some delinquent activities at school.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, if Reuben can go with that extra nipple I'm proud of you, Manny.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “I think I hear future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Have I ever told you about her? Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “When you and Dylan were broken up Rachel told him you were a skank and got all up on him.”
  - “This will teach that skank a lesson.”

## S2 E21 — Mother's Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0221.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire and Gloria want to spend a nice Mother's Day outdoors hiking with the kids, but their nonstop bickering and complaining drives Claire to the edge, and she brings Gloria down with her. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay stay home to cook everyone a nice dinner, but things get really awkward when Phil witnesses an unexpected moment of weakness from Jay, and Cameron gets very self-conscious about being seen as the "mother" in the relationship.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I know I speak for all the guys when I say thank you for everything you do while we're off having affairs.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sometimes I wanna punch my kids.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Enough complaining! You can't bitch all day because you're not at the beach all day! Come on.”
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell are those? - Onion goggles.”
  - “What the hell are you talking about? This recipe for the perfect mom, by Jay Francis Pritchett, age nine.”
  - “It's the onions, damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hear! Hear! - Just grab some wine.”

## S2 E22 — Good Cop Bad Dog
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0222.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire swap parenting roles for the day - Claire will be the fun loving good cop and Phil the disciplinarian bad cop - and it's literally a shock to each kid's system. Meanwhile Gloria is at it again, taking in every sob story and stray she comes across, Jay finds himself dispensing business advice to an overzealous entrepreneur about his dog training business scheme, and Cameron is bedridden with the flu -- leaving Mitchell torn about the Lady Gaga concert tickets they have for later that night.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “You can see me in my underwear whenever you want.”

## S2 E23 — See You Next Fall
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0223.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The whole family is gathering at Jay's before heading out to Alex's graduation ceremony from middle school, but while at the house, Jay is preoccupied hiding a botox mishap from everyone, Cameron is upset about Mitchell's habit of laughing at his expense, and Phil tries to sympathize with, yet also antagonize Claire on her impending breakdown over the kids growing up too fast. All of this, plus a faulty gate, could mean their missing Alex's big moment.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “He thought we were gonna use it all the time - but I keep hitting my boobs with my knees.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Champagne problems, right? Honey, they're not gonna ride the bike.”

## S2 E24 — The One That Got Away
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0224.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay wants nothing more than to have a quiet birthday out fishing on the lake, but the family take that as him wanting a big celebration, and in their frantic scramble to put everything together, Claire and Mitchell wind up trapped in the yard of their childhood home; Phil runs into his old college nemesis while at the mall with Gloria and Lily; Cameron gets himself into some hot water at the bakery, and the kids frantically do some creative editing on grandpa's birthday video, all of which leaves Jay with a headache.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is this a "sexy phone"? - Happy birthday! - Wow.”
  - “I bring your sexy phone.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Lucky son of a bitch.”
  - “Surprised? Or mystified? Damn it.”
  - “No! How? What the hell were you thinking? I'll answer that for you.”
  - “What the hell am I gonna do till June? - Hey.”
  - “You never used to talk to me like that before we got that damn dog.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Wha What are you doing with dad's wine? - Getting comfortable.”
  - “He once let me drink some of his beer.”

## S3 E1 — 1. Dude Ranch
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0301.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Returns for its third season with a special one-hour event on WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 on the ABC Television Network. In the first part of the hour, entitled "Dude Ranch", our favorite family decide to don their cow boots and hats and head to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for some fun and adventure in the great outdoors. While vacationing on Lost Creek Ranch, they try their hands at a little cattle herding, skeet shooting and horseback riding; there are also some big firsts, a huge surprise and an actual face off between Jay and a foe - a cowboy named Hank! In the second half of the hour, entitled "When Good Kids Go Bad", Mitch and Cam plan a nice evening with the whole family to break the happy news that they're looking to adopt another child. However their parade is rained on when they realize Lily may not take well to another baby in the house. Meanwhile, Claire and Jay are each consumed with proving a certain point.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “We may have lost a man But out there on the range, under that great big sky, we found a part of ourselves we never knew was there, just like the horny cowboy said we would.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “You push too hard, you chase her right into his arms, you'll end up with a boob for a son-in-law.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Do I look like the kind of woman that would cheat on her husband? Yes.”

## S3 E2 — 2. When Good Kids Go Bad
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0302.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitchell and Cameron plan to break the news of adopting another child, though this revelation may not sit well with Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons).
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, let's see Oh, could you grab me an extra virgin - I think one's enough for the sacrifice.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Of course, I can't share those names with you Until I get a glass of wine in my hand.”

## S3 E3 — 3. Phil On Wire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0303.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The growing bond between man, Jay, and dog, Stella, is grating on Gloria's nerves; Phil and Luke embark on a new adventure involving a tightrope, but it's Claire with the missteps, as she tries to teach the girls a life lesson; and Cameron chooses the most inopportune time to start a juice fast.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.”

## S3 E4 — 4. Door to Door
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0304.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Everyone sets their eyes on a goal: Jay is determined to help Manny sell wrapping paper for a school fundraiser; Claire petitions the city for a stop sign to be installed at a high-traffic intersection; Mitchell is hell bent on proving a point with Cameron, and neither one of them will back down; Phil and Luke will stop at nothing to create a viral video sensation; and Gloria is desperate to find Stella after losing him.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Okay, you know, Mitchell? Just go to work, okay? I'm gonna take Lily to school, and then when I get home, I'm gonna scrub this place like a crime scene, which it is, because you've murdered joy.”
  - “You know that really dangerous intersection? Where desire meets jealousy, and the result is murder? Mnh-mnh.”

## S3 E5 — 5. Hit and Run
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0305.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay is frustrated at work, Manny is stressed out about school work, Gloria would like to help but no one seems to want it. Phil and Claire run into Councilman Duane Bailey again, who is out campaigning for his second run, and he's just as irritating as they remembered -- so much so that Claire may give him a run for his money. Mitch and Cam get into a fender bender and the other car flees, which becomes the tipping point for all the men in the family who decides to take out their frustrations on the kid giving Haley problems.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “We do a papier-mache Tommy gun.”
  - “" I can't even look at ketchup without seeing blood.”
  - “Shotgun! No! No weapons! In my country, it is tradition-- when the men are out seeking vengeance, the women-- they stay home, and they drink.”
  - “"Actor/writer/director who packs a punch.”
  - “Good old dad-- Oh, my goodness! - Ow! - I'm so sorry! You punched me! Dad, you gave me the drowsy kind.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Uh, I mean, I want it to be like, bam! You know, people are gonna walk in there and go, "whoa! What do I hang first?" I wanted to hang myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “We'd spend the rest of the afternoon drinking wine, eating food, flying a kite, you know, doing montage-y stuff.”
  - “We figured if a 16-year-old could drive a tractor, he could drink a beer.”
  - “…but they saw right through me, so me and a bunch of guys drove across state lines, we got a bunch of booze, we loaded up on fireworks, and I woke up in the morning-- I kid you not-- in a Mexican strip joint.”

## S3 E6 — 6. Go Bullfrogs!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0306.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: It's father-daughter time, as Phil takes Haley on a college tour of his old alma mater, and Claire, having a rare night alone, forces Mitchell and Cameron to take her for a fun night out with the boys -- but ends up alone with one particular man candy who is anything but gay. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay deal with a potential situation at home that may require having "the talk" with Manny.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “No wonder she shot him.”
  - “She's obviously got a pistol under that poncho.”
  - “Oh, Joanne, before I forget, can I get a punch? One away from a free potpie.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You dumb son of a bitch! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God.”
  - “What the hell is this? No.”
  - “Oh, damn! Here comes my ex.”
  - “What do you think he's doing up there alone? Do you think he ordered some movies? Movies, magazines, whatever the hell.”
  - “Just like you piss me off and then say something sweet.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Hello? No way! Haley, no way! Check it out! After a few beers, my buds and I would jump on these lunch trays and race down this same hill.”
  - “Okay, well, Longinus did invite us to a boutique opening, you know, cocktails, DJ.”
  - “All right, there's, like, a thousand people waiting for wine.”

## S3 E7 — 7. Treehouse
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0307.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Hanging out with Shorty and his girlfriend, Darlene, makes Gloria envious of how much those two do as a couple, so she gives Jay an ultimatum to step it up for a night of salsa dancing or else. Meanwhile, Cameron take a bet a little too far when Mitchell and Crispin challenge him to get a hot girl's number at the bar, and Phil builds a tree house for Luke, but ends up being the one to make a new friend.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's already working! Well, two more of those, and you won't be wearing any underwear either.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Wanna eat at home? I'll grill some steaks, open a bottle of wine.”
  - “Only thing that bothers me is that drunken Amish roof you got up there.”

## S3 E8 — 8. After the Fire
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0308.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After a neighbor's home burns down, the whole family rallies and organizes a community drive to help do some good - though it's not all good, as Jay throws out his back, Cameron does some posturing with a huge moving truck, Claire discovers that Mitchell and Gloria have been spending a lot of time together, and Luke and Manny get their hands on some of the donated toys.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “In ten years, I've asked him for one thing-- to hook up my wireless printer.”
  - “First of all, you're each beautiful in your own way, but you're both playing for second, because I'm too sexy for this truck.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Heard that! Oh, son of bitch! Your low back is in spasm, Jay.”
  - “Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch.”
  - “Oh, what the hell? Get off me.”
  - “What the hell is that? An alpaca.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Daddy, can I have a sip of your beer, please? Oh, my God.”

## S3 E9 — 9. Punkin Chunkin
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0309.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When an old neighborhood kid returns to town as a hugely successful internet billionaire, it gets Phil thinking of what could have been. Jay feels Manny could use a little dose of constructive criticism, and Cameron is offended when Mitchell questions the authenticity of his colorful childhood stories. It all comes to a head at Thanksgiving with the family divided between the "Dreamers" and the "Pritchetts" -- and nothing settles the score like a punkin chunkin challenge -- .
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Can you blame him? You used to dress sexy back then.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “The aspirin gun.”

## S3 E10 — Express Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0310.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The family is gathered at Jay and Gloria's pool on a sunny December day, and that's where they realize that everyone will be scattered this coming Christmas, so if they want to celebrate together, then it will have to be today! Everyone sets off with their respective duties for Express Christmas - Mitchell, Alex and Lily get the tree, Jay and Cameron are in charge of gift wrapping, Phil and Manny get the groceries, Gloria and Luke go retrieve the ornaments, and Claire and Haley shop for all the gifts. When they all return in the evening, it's quite a sight.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What? - My mom keeps a stun gun for emergencies.”
  - “You want 'em defrosted? Merry Freaking Christmas! Phil! Is that my stun gun? Yep.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh,what do you think it is,a ring? - Was there wine with this cork? - Yes,there was,and we drank it on Oh,we drank it on,uh eh? Yeah.”
  - “How would I have remembered having had wine with my son's boyfriend? No,I do this.”

## S3 E11 — Lifetime Supply
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0311.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: After having a doctor's visit but then missing the call with the test results, Phil automatically jumps to conclusions and starts saying his goodbyes. Meanwhile Javier pops up unannounced again and takes Manny to the horse races for a belated birthday celebration, and a subtle competition ensues when Mitchell brings home an environmental law award and it becomes a game of who has the bigger trophy.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Once, when Manny was 6, Javier took him to the petting zoo, which later, I found out that was the name of the stripper club.”

## S3 E12 — Egg Drop
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0312.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Luke and Manny have a big school project to design the best capsule that would protect an egg in a two-story drop, but when Claire and Jay catch wind of it, their own competitive drives kick in... and eventually take over. Meanwhile, Phil solicits the help of Haley and Gloria to sit as plants in the audience during a huge real estate presentation he has put together, and Mitch and Cam meet with prospective birth mothers and must try their very best to be charming and likeable.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “You don't wanna have sex, but you do want a baby.”

## S3 E13 — Little Bo Bleep
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0313.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The family helps Claire prepare for her upcoming televised debate with Duane Bailey for the town council seat, but will they do more harm than good? Lily is going to be a precious flower girl for the first time, but the problem is she's just discovered her first expletive and Mitch and Cam don't know how best to deal with this new parenting test. And Jay is very concerned with Stella's recent strange behavior and puts the blame on Gloria.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's just the mainstream media doesn't report on it, 'cause it's not as sexy as feline A.”
  - “Are you sex freaks? My personal life has nothing to do with this.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Ma'am, according to this police report, he, uh, broke into a stranger's room, stripped naked and then posed provocatively on the bed.”
  - “When he was naked, what were you wearing? I don't think that's relevant.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 5 moment(s)
  - “She might be suicidal.”
  - “There's not such thing as doggy suicide.”
  - “And I'm afraid that doggy suicide is all too real.”
  - “Stella is not suicidal.”
  - “See? She was not trying to kill herself.”

## S3 E14 — Me? Jealous?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0314.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil is so preoccupied with impressing his new business partner, Tad, that he doesn't notice what Claire believes is Tad being overtly inappropriate with her. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria let Mitchell and Cameron stay over while their house is fumigated, and it turns out four is a crowd.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I hear you, and I don't like where this is going! You get the lipstick, I'll get the bra and tennis balls.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Oh, gosh! Tad, this wine is fantastic.”
  - “He also brought some wine.”
  - “I didn't just come here to fix your table and get your wife drunk.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…her best friend-- kind of like "The Help," except Delilah was white, and was actually herself quite the racist.”

## S3 E15 — Aunt Mommy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0315.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: After closing on the sale of a house to Mitch and Cam's friends, Phil and Claire take the two of them out for a celebratory dinner where they proceed to over-indulge in drinks, which leads to some over-sharing, and finally results in waking up the next morning hung over and begging the question - if you'll do anything for family, shouldn't there still be a line drawn somewhere?
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “But first, what was Elton John's sexual orientation in the '70s? like the good Captain Fantastic himself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What was I thinking? I-I-I just get drunk and I bring a baby into the world? That would be 4 for 4.”

## S3 E16 — Virgin Territory
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0316.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It's a day of disturbing realizations when Mitchell manages to ruin one of Jay's proudest golf moments, Phil overhears something that may forever change how he sees his little girl, and Gloria stumbles upon Claire's dangerous little secret.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “…to find a way to come clean about the hole-in-one, when it occurs to me Why? One idiot lies about his sex life, the other dumbbell has a Ferrari "in the shop" for years, and moron number three is a Hollywood…”
  - “Haley, I understand that sex is a part of life.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Well, by "stuck" I meant "drunk," and by "work" I meant "the golf course.”
  - “He bought me my first beer.”
  - “We had a steak dinner, you gave me my first beer, and, uh It was one of the greatest days we ever spent together.”
  - “Anyway, I came out with a couple of beers.”

## S3 E17 — Leap Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0317.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cameron's birthday falls on Leap Day, and with opportunities to celebrate so few and far between, the pressure for Mitchell to get it right is exceptional. Meanwhile, Jay's machismo is in question, and Phil's plans to observe the Leap Day holiday with the boys is thwarted by the girls.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I always thought of women as the more evolved sex.”
  - “In fact, you're still that sexy little 8 year old I fell in love with.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers than from trapezing.”
  - “…game playing and have an open conversation with me about what I was feeling? Okay, I got a bottle of fake blood out of the Halloween supplies.”
  - “I thought you were going to punch that guy back there.”
  - “Gloria, I get-- I get the impression - you're disappointed I didn't punch that guy.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer, my wife and I watch from over there? That way, everybody enjoys the game-- except me, 'cause I prefer a game where something happens.”

## S3 E18 — Send Out the Clowns
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0318.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The funeral service for a beloved clown mentor reunites Cameron with his estranged ex-clown partner, Lewis ; Phil is serious about landing a very important listing, only to get trumped by a notorious bulldozer of an agent, Verna Roth ; and Manny has a cool new friend, which makes both Jay and Gloria suspicious.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “You said it was only for teenagers and people looking to have affairs.”
  - “Well, I figured if you can't fight it Not the having the affair.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “What about you, Fizzy? You gonna come or you gonna break up this party, too? Hey, shotgun, bitches! I should, you know, probably go.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “What about you, Fizzy? You gonna come or you gonna break up this party, too? Hey, shotgun, bitches! I should, you know, probably go.”
  - “It's over? What the hell? You're an hour late.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Somebody had a flower that squirted Tequila.”

## S3 E19 — Election Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0319.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire's race for town council comes to a head on Election Day as the Dunphys make phone calls for votes and Mitchell and Cameron take to the streets to campaign, while the candidate endures technical problems during some last-minute interviews.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Councilwoman Dunphy, how do you respond to allegations that you look super sexy in your new suit? Uh, I haven't been elected yet.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “An-and it wasn't 'cause y-you weren't pretty naked or anything like that.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's only three people! And nobody has a gun! We're here, we're Claire, get used to it! You know, I'm not sure if that's tracking.”
  - “The least you can do is walk right in there and punch a hole for the woman who drags your garbage can up your driveway every Tuesday! I don't like it! Goes against everything I believe in.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “She sounds drunk! That's not her drunk voice.”
  - “This city can do more - What the hell's wrong with her? - with the recycling program She sounds drunk! - currently - It's a tooth thing.”
  - “Yeah! I-- I don't know about you, But, um I could use a glass of wine.”

## S3 E20 — The Last Walt
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0320.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire delicately helps Luke cope with the fact that his friend and their old neighbor, Walt, has passed. Phil takes Alex for some father-daughter bonding time, and Haley throws an unauthorized party. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria go over to Mitch and Cam's to have dinner with Cam's father, Merle, who is in town visiting -- and awkwardness and tension seem to be the rule of the night.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I will take that beer you were about to offer me, though.”

## S3 E21 — Planes, Train and Cars
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0321.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The Dunphys are in the market for a new car and Phil makes a spontaneous purchase without Claire. Will he have buyer's remorse? Meanwhile, Jay is determined to get to his high school reunion with Gloria and Manny in tow, and Lily loses her favorite stuffed animal on a public metro train, leaving Mitch and Cam with an inconsolable toddler.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Bunny said he's on an amazing adventure having the time of his life, and that you should pick one of his best friends to sleep with while he's gone.”

## S3 E22 — Disneyland
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0322.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: Nothing is more quintessential to good ol' family fun than a trip to Disneyland -- but not without a side of motion sickness, achy feet and a wayward toddler -- when the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan hits the park! Phil tries to keep up with Luke, Claire's shocked when they run into Dylan, Jay and Gloria disagree about what are sensible shoes for the day, and Mitch and Cam must contain Lily's new affinity for running.
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S3 E23 — Tableau Vivant
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0323.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It seems everyone has a bone to pick: Jay and Gloria get on each other's nerves while trying to simply order lunch at their local diner; Phil is put in the position of having to fire Mitchell; Cam and Claire have opposing theories on how to discipline children; and Manny is upset with Luke for accepting an award under false pretenses - all of which spells trouble for Alex who is counting on them to all work together for a "living art" school project display.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I can't do this! This isn't the face of a cold-blooded hatchet man.”

## S3 E24 — Baby on Board
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0324.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: It's been an up-and-down emotional roller coaster for Mitch and Cam in their quest to adopt another child. Their latest ride has them bringing Gloria in tow as a translator, leaving Jay and Manny to look after Lily, who has a big dance recital coming up. Meanwhile Claire and Phil have a proud parenting moment when they send Alex off to her first prom, but then that is quickly marred with Haley's shocking news of her future plans.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “You know what? You know what? I might just go crazy tonight and-- and-- and hook up all over him.”
  - “Honey, you look super sexy.”
  - “What? - Are you doing sex? Luke, can we have a minute, please? - Um - Listen (Phil clears throat) I know that you're concerned, but I'm designing t-shirts now, and they're gonna be huge.”
  - “(Lowered voice) If you ask me, it was the sexy priest.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Antonio hired a hooker to marry his father so that he can get back the money, but the hooker ended up being his long lost sister, the former beauty queen.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Here's a coupon for a gun range for mom.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “There are coyotes out here and-- and meth addicts! Every time, Cam.”

## S4 E1 — 1. Bringing Up Baby
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0401.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay marks another birthday in the Season 4 premiere with his customary wish to be left alone, one that won't be granted when Phil takes him fishing with his pals, but it's a day he'll never forget—once Gloria figures out how to tell him she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Dylan moves in with the Dunphys on a temporary basis; and Mitchell and Cameron consider adopting a cat.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I can't find a position that's not sexual.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Once again, I'd like to apologize for punching you in the head.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Nope, I'm done now! - Hey, Jay, no! - No! No! No! Hey! Jay! Jay! - Jay! - Son of a bitch!”
  - “A soul patch? That's like a beard's crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's for your hangover.”
  - “Ew! I'm gonna throw up! Ugh! Ugh! That's a hangover cure? No.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's gonna be great! I'm gonna get so fat.”

## S4 E2 — 2. Schooled
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0402.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The day has arrived for Phil and Claire to drop Haley off at college, which is a difficult moment for any parent, but it's made worse when they manage to really embarrass Haley. Meanwhile, Manny forces Jay and Gloria to take a baby class - they humor him and go, but end up being a bit of a disruption; and Mitch and Cam drop Lily off for the first day of kindergarten, but when she gets into a tussle with another little boy, they end up having a meeting with the boy's confrontational lesbian parents.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Mm-hmm? In Haley's stuff, a box of condoms.”
  - “Those are not my condoms.”
  - “Like in the Venn diagram of sexual identity, you have gay men And straight men.”
  - “"Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stop twisting my nipple.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “That was a knife to the heart.”
  - “That's where we keep our gun collection, our abandoned refrigerator, and our chocolate-covered hypodermic needles.”
  - “Yeah, it's what makes me want to punch you in the neck right now.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Don't drink too much beer and shots of Tequila.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Don't slut up your college.”

## S4 E3 — 3. Snip
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0403.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil and Claire have a five-year plan, and that's to vacation and enjoy life once Luke leaves for college. In order to keep all that on track, Phil is going in for a vasectomy. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria disagree about whether or not to find out the sex of the baby; Gloria is in denial about needing maternity clothes; and now that Lily's in kindergarten, Mitchell tries to gently steer Cameron towards a part-time job to occupy all his extra time.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Where's mom? Oh, my God, what is that outfit? Are you going goth? You still sleep with a stuffed panda.”
  - “It's natural to want to know the sex.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “He had a little piece of bloody toilet paper on his neck.”

## S4 E4 — 4. The Butler's Escape
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0404.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Luke wants to quit magic and Phil just can't seem to accept it. Meanwhile, one of Gloria's new pregnancy symptoms is snoring and she's keeping the whole house awake, forcing Jay to take desperate measures; and Mitch and Cam's household dynamic is put to the test when they decide to swap duties -- Mitch staying at home with Lily while Cam goes off to work at his new job as the music teacher at Luke and Manny's school --.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “So where does a kid go for some peace and quiet? Tell me right now if you're having an affair, and we will find some time later for me to kill you.”

## S4 E5 — 5. Open House of Horrors
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0405.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: Claire has overdone it in Halloweens past and the neighbors definitely don't share her enthusiasm, so this year she's being forced to tone it down and keep it "kid-friendly," and Phil has an idea to hold an open house on Halloween night. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam host a costume party while contending with Lily wondering who her real mom is, and Gloria's pregnancy hormones are on overdrive, making her even more hotheaded than usual.
Watch for:
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why is Tyler's mommy so fat? Oh, that's because she has-- she has a baby in her belly.”

## S4 E6 — 6. Yard Sale
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0406.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Jay and Gloria hold a yard sale to help Manny and Luke with their school's charity fundraiser, and the entire family pitches in: Phil feels pressured to both sell and buy something, Mitch and Cam help Claire assess Alex's new 'boy friend,' and Manny finds an old trunk that hides a secret Gloria wants to see remain a secret.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Yes, when Michael took me to prom, I questioned his sexuality.”
  - “Yeah, look, I know it's not the safest thing in the world, but it is sexy.”
  - “I lot more sexy than that crazy machine you rode up on.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Can I also have an affair with my super hot receptionist? What super hot receptionist? Don't change the subject! Now what would everybody like for lunch? You don't have to buy a motorcycle if you don't want one.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You didn't have to bring in your big gay guns to back you up.”
  - “That "olden days" comment ws like a punch to the gut.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm still drunk ing my coffee.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “It was gorgeous Till she pulled it apart and spelled "homo" on my porch.”

## S4 E7 — 7. Arrested
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0407.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire get the dreaded late night call that Haley has been arrested for under-aged drinking, so they bring Mitchell, the family lawyer, in tow to the police station. Cameron stays back to watch over Alex and Luke, but they get into some crazy mishaps under his care. Meanwhile, Jay gets out of baby shopping with Gloria, but ends up having to deal with a surprise visit from Dede, and tries to scoot her out before Gloria gets home to prevent Dede from seeing that she's pregnant and to avoid the potential blowback.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You are charged with public drunkenness, resisting arrest, and assaulting a police officer, all of which obviously violate our school's code of conduct.”

## S4 E8 — 8. Mistery Date
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0408.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Claire takes Manny and Luke along to Alex's academic decathlon for the weekend, Phil attempts to throw together a boys' night at the house, inviting a fellow Bulldog alum he just met -- but their wires are definitely crossed. Meanwhile, the pressure is on for Alex at the decathlon, Manny and Luke bar mitzvah hop at the hotel trying to find a cute girl, and Cam and Mitch arrange for quite the surprise baby gift for Jay and Gloria.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “" "And I can see your bra strap, Oprah.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “How can it relax listening to a song about a hooker? She's not a hooker, she's a private dancer.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's got a corkscrew, and a radar gun at the bottom.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You ready for a margarita? Sure.”
  - “More margaritas for us.”
  - “You're gonna have two margaritas.”

## S4 E9 — 9. When a Tree Falls
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0409.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: With some urging, Mitch joins in on Cam's efforts to save an old tree in the park, but just how far will they go? Jay and Manny are each pushed beyond their comfort zones when they attend a kid's Olympics-themed birthday party, and Claire brings Gloria along on a Costco run -- but add in a "pregnancy brain" and it makes for quite an eventful trip -- .
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “But I did make you a shiv out of an old knife.”
  - “You don't make a shiv out of a knife.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's really sweet of you, Luke, but there's just gonna be a bunch of drunk drivers and vandalizers who were stupid enough to get caught.”
  - “Jay, where you headed? Why don't you stick around and grab a beer with the dads? Oh, I don't really know those guys.”

## S4 E10 — Diamond in the Rough
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0410.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Manny and Luke's little league team unexpectedly makes it into a playoff game, so Claire and Cameron scramble to find a location and decide to do a makeover on a rundown field. Inspired, Claire and Cam want to try their hand at flipping a house while they're at it, and Phil and Mitchell fight over who will be the bad guy to tell them no. Meanwhile, Gloria tries a bonding technique by using a microphone to sing to the baby in utero, which definitely incites a reaction from Jay.
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S4 E11 — New Year's Eve
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0411.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 1/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Jay is so excited, having planned for the whole family to celebrate New Year's together at this great hotel in Palm Springs. However, when the hotel turns out to be less than stellar, everyone starts to branch off to do their own thing, leaving Jay dejected -- that is until he runs into the one and only Billy Dee Williams! Meanwhile back at home, Haley and Alex watch over the kids, which proves to be quite a challenge.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I wanna have sex with you.”
  - “Why? - Uh, well, why do you need it closed? Because we're gonna make out.”
  - “" And I can't even bear it, 'cause we're just like my grandp-- Let's go find that hot spring and start this new year off with - Sex in a hot spring.”
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - “That's a bra.”
  - “Sorry, Billy Dee, but where do you go to tattle on prince Harry when he's naked in Vegas? Straight to the queen.”
  - “Uh, welcome to what? To Nude Year's Eve.”
  - “Nude Year's Eve? You said Nude Year's Eve.”
  - “You really wanna stand there naked sifting through all those drawstring pants? Oh, okay.”
  - “And I swear to you, I was so nervous, I think I might have put on somebody else's underwear.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “14, and unless Nicole Bitchie here wants me to call her parents and tell them she lied I better go.”
  - “Oh, hell, it's almost 11:00.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I say we get a bottle of champagne, look up at the stars, forget our bathing suits.”
  - “But you can always fish some out of a can of fruit cocktail.”
  - “Oh! Who wants champagne? Oh, I'll have some.”

## S4 E12 — Party Crasher
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0412.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: With the baby coming soon, Jay and Gloria go to great lengths to throw Manny an extra special surprise party for his 14th birthday -- and there are plenty of surprises to go around! Meanwhile, Phil and Claire deal with a new much older guy that Haley has started hanging out with, and Cam becomes jealous of the special bond Lily seems to have with Mitch.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just gave them a full-blown sex scandal.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “" And them I was like, "bam!" And then I slapped the study onto Charlie's desk, and Carol was like, "but--but--but--" and then I was like, "chu on that!" You said that? Well, not with my mouth.”

## S4 E13 — Fulgencio
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0413.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Gloria's mom, Pilar, and sister Sonia have made the voyage from Colombia, and they come bearing traditions, baby names and a whole lot of family baggage. Meanwhile, no one seems to have confidence that Phil will be able to help with the kids' problems, but there just might be a method to his madness. And Lily has picked up some bad habits, so Mitchell and Cameron try their hardest to mind their Ps and Qs to set a good example for her.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's not the family gun? Jay, if anything should happen to Gloria, I am there for you.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “Son of a bitch, I'm Phil.”
  - “Anyhoo, uh, your balloons are co-- Damn it! Is anyone home? Mom! I need her first.”
  - “Bockman! Damn it! Our neighbor's out of town, and she's paying me to move her car on street cleaning days.”
  - “What the hell is that? Some kind of gay protest thing? It's a candle, dad.”
  - “Hell, I don't even think I knew what happiness was till I was 60.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Listen, we'd love to have you and the missus over for a glass of wine, or--or, uh, maybe you and I could go out for a boys' night.”
  - “There is no husband! She's Lee! Weirdly deep-voiced, alcoholic, gay Lee Cooper who you invited out for a glass of wine!”

## S4 E14 — A Slight at the Opera
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0414.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cameron is putting on the school production of "Phantom of the Opera," but when their star falls ill, Manny pulls all the stops to land the lead -- even if that means going against Luke. Meanwhile, Jay teaches Phil to golf and they wind up in a golf-off with Pepper and Mitch; Gloria takes Alex along on errands which include a visit to a psychic; and Claire's adventures in babysitting Joe and Lily become a comedy of errors.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “That man's been Mitch-slapping you your entire life.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, you're a hopeless embarrassment.”
  - “How hard is it to support your own head? What the hell? Hello, boys.”
  - “Oh, damn, you're good.”

## S4 E15 — Heart Broken
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0415.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Fun Valentine's Day romp between Phil and Claire's alter egos, Clive Bixby and Juliana, takes an unexpected turn that lands Claire in the hospital and with a diagnosis that she doesn't take lying down. Meanwhile, Gloria and Jay's attempts to be romantic keep getting interrupted by the kids, which drives Gloria crazy, and Cam and Mitch host a wild Valentine's Day Lonely Hearts Party that leaves them hung over the next morning, trying to piece together what happened and, more importantly, why Dylan is now living with them.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “A threesome, if you will.”
  - “_ Clive Bixby what a sexy surprise - Quick question: - Hmhmm? Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you--uh I'm gonna come in again.”
  - “I think I was being too sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Anyway, it was supposed to be an elegant affair.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Champagne, cheese, and this beautiful city beneath us.”
  - “I'll go and get us some champagne.”
  - “Like--like you've never had a few cocktails and died a cat pink with cherry kool-aid.”
  - “And yet when I did that drunk, not a scratch.”

## S4 E16 — Bad Hair Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0416.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire flies solo to her college reunion and runs into a professor she once dated, but when Phil shows up things get really awkward. Back at home, Jay is obsessed with winning his big bowling tournament, and Gloria is running ragged with the baby but won't admit it. Mitchell offers to take baby Joe for a while, and Cameron seizes the opportunity to use him in one of his elaborate photo shoots. However, a wig malfunction leads to unfortunate results and no one wants to be the one to face Gloria.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Son of a gun.”
  - “Well I've regretted throwing away things way more beaten up than Claire.”
  - “Do you realize what Gloria's gonna do when she sees this? She punched me when I got Manny that henna tattoo.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look, I've gotta run, but I'd love to have you guys by my apartment for a cocktail before dinner.”

## S4 E17 — Best Men
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0417.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Mitch and Cam's best gal pal, Sal, makes one of her notorious surprise drop-ins, but this time with big news - she's getting married - tomorrow! Cam and Mitch are the best men, but they can't help but question whether this party girl can really settle down, and they consider an intervention. Meanwhile, Gloria has trust issues with their new nanny, Claire has a rare bonding moment with Haley, and Phil helps Luke with a girl he likes.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “If anyone knows the art of wooing the fairer sex, it's this guy.”
  - “So does this Italian of yours cook? In every room of the house, if you know what I mean! Ooh! - We have a lot of sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 5 moment(s)
  - “Manny seems to have quite a fascination with the female nude.”
  - “What if I spill on her, or accidentally brush my boob against her hand? I mean her hand against my boob.”
  - “" So those were not my boobs? They were Daliya's boobs? Yep.”
  - “This is not a "Nude descending a staircase," this is a "Nude vacuuming a staircase.”
  - “I'm so sorry for touching your hand with my boob.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “I knew it! What are you hiding? - Porn.”
  - “I made out with a stripper last night.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Can you cup your hand - so that he doesn't feel like you're slapping? - Okay.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I hope we have vodka.”
  - “Yeah, we're out of vodka.”
  - “I'm gonna go pop the champagne and get some glasses.”

## S4 E18 — The Wow Factor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0418.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Cam are entrenched in the house flip, but when they hit an impasse on a big landscaping decision, a "neutral" third party is brought in - Pam, the lesbian mom from Lily's school. Meanwhile, Phil decides to teach the kids basic fix-it skills around the house; Gloria spends some quality one-on-one time with Manny, leaving Jay alone with baby Joe; and Mitch helps Lily deal with a schoolyard bully.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “…half a fish! That's a half a fish! There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange, mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke Though the wit thereof he but…”

## S4 E19 — The Future Dunphys
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0419.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Phil takes Claire to the hospital for her angiogram, they encounter a family that is basically their future selves, and they're not sure they like what they see. Manny drags Jay on a visit to a prospective private school, and Mitch and Cam organize a fun "girls day" for Gloria and Lily -- but it becomes a spontaneous "cultural day" instead -- .
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know what was a rare book in my school library? One that didn't have genitals drawn all over it.”
  - “When am I going to get real boobs? Okay, so we'll see you whenever.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “We decided to call in the big guns.”
  - “" Okay, gun to my head, maybe I was a tiny bit jealous of those guys back then, with their cars and their fancy hair products-- your brylcreems and your VO5s.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I can't believe we wasted all that batter.”

## S4 E20 — Flip Flop
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0420.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Phil is pretty confident in his ability to sell Claire and Cam's flipped house, but when it proves to be a little harder than he thought, he recruits the whole family into taking some desperate, borderline crazy measures. Meanwhile, Javier is visiting Manny and brings along his new girlfriend, which doesn't sit very well with Gloria.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “They barely got a nipple.”
  - “Should've quit after "nipple.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “You remember that time that he took Manny and that stripper fishing? Yeah.”
  - “What is it this time? A cocktail waitress? A boat show model? A stripper? No, then I could make real money.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You see that I am holding a knife.”
  - “Half our marriage was you with a knife.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Privacy is dead? Likes-- Chicago Blackhawks, kickboxing, the movie "Die hard," and beer.”
  - “I've never bought beer before.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's like he leapt off the canvas of a 16th century portrait by Gainsborough or van Dyke.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “That skank Zoey broke his heart.”

## S4 E21 — Career Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0421.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil is jazzed to share the wonders of residential real estate with Luke and Manny's classmates for career day, but unfortunately for Phil, his nemesis, Gil Thorpe, shows up and things get ugly. Meanwhile, Gloria challenges Jay's claims of always wanting to become a novelist, forcing Jay to take some shameful measures, and Mitch and Cam make a costly mistake while executing tooth fairy duties.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “When I had my first loose tooth, my mama tied one end of the string to it, and the other to the tail of a guernsey cow fired off a 12-gauge shotgun, and the cow went running out of the room.”
  - “He came in with two price guns in holsters and marked our teacher at $1.”

## S4 E22 — My Hero
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0422.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitch's ex-boyfriend, Teddy, a very personable and successful doctor, invites the whole family to a fundraising event at the local roller rink, and they all run circles around each other as Cam tries to play it cool around Teddy, Claire avoids talking to Jay about inheriting his closet business, Phil teaches Gloria how to skate in spectacular fashion, Haley helps Alex talk to some cute boys, and amidst all the chaos Manny and Luke try to figure out whom they'll pick in their family for their "My Hero" essay assignment.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “Your family is cheating on me with your ex-boyfriend.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Strike the punching machine, and apparently I broke some sort of world record.”
  - “Oh, no! That was literally the first punch I've ever thrown! You are never to see him again.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're still in the running, but I'm not loving that you're drinking wine while watching my brother.”
  - “Whoa, where'd you find that? - I know where you keep the beer, Jeff.”

## S4 E23 — Games People Play
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0423.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil gets a brand new RV with high hopes of going on a fun family road trip, and Claire decides to let him learn the hard way why this will likely be a terrible idea. Meanwhile, Manny has misplaced his backpack and Jay and Gloria go with him on a hunt for it, breaking into Claire's house and then into Mitchell's house -- where they do some over-the-top snooping; and Lily's gymnastics meet brings out an unrivaled competitive spirit in Mitch and Cam.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, I guess I'm just a naive boob who thought we liked each other! Obviously, it was too much to ask to think that we could take one magnificent trip in a tricked-out, state-of-the-art R.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch.”
  - “I am afraid that the world is going to-- - Oh, hell, no.”
  - “I get this damn competitive streak from my old man.”
  - “One, two, three, four, - five, six, two, five-- - Okay, number 2-- x plus 2 over 4 - equals 3 plus 3-- minus-- - Damn it, Alex, do you mind? We're doing something important here! Oh.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “This is that bottle of wine I bought Phil when he started his company.”

## S4 E24 — Goodnight, Gracie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0424.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Everyone flies down to Florida to be with Phil after his mom's passing. Claire helps Phil with Gracie's last wish for Frank, and the kids reflect on the gifts grandma left for them. Gloria has to contend with an outstanding arrest warrant in Florida, Cam finds himself fitting right into an elderly women's group at Frank's retirement community, and Jay runs into a pivotal person from his past.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “I used to live there, and when I left, my roommate made our apartment into a house of prostitution, and my name was still on the lease.”
  - “I don't want to go to jail for prostitution.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Anyone else want some punch? Yeah.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “The Plimptons had a barbecue, and gram and I got a little tipsy on ginger margaritas.”

## S5 E1 — 1. Suddenly, Last Summer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0501.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: In the first half of the hour -- "Suddenly, Last Summer" -- the family is in the throes of summer activities: Phil and Claire are trying to orchestrate a kid-free week by coordinating Luke's camp with Haley's beach trip and Alex's volunteering excursion; Jay and Gloria are getting Manny ready for his first solo trip back to Colombia; and Mitch and Cam make it a summer to remember. In the second half-hour - "First Days" -- Luke and Manny have their first day at high school, which proves to be harder for Phil and Gloria than for the boys. Elsewhere, Claire makes her big return to the workforce at Jay's closet company and is a little rusty on her first day, and Cam starts a new substituting gig at the high school, leaving Mitch to try to juggle Lily's first day of pre-school and a very important meeting at work.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “He jumped the gun.”
  - “Yeah, couple of days away from my perfect, romantic husband, who is far too good for this cold-hearted, bloodless wife-bot.”
  - “You have blood.”
  - “I hope that my cousins don't take him riding the horses or shooting the guns.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “He goes from agony to ecstasy! It's so romantic.”
  - “You open the best bottle of wine.”
  - “So while we're at dinner, Claire is setting up two rocking chairs next to the fireplace, with a bottle of champagne.”
  - “Patrick's hangover.”

## S5 E2 — 2. First Days
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0502.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In the first half of the hour -- "Suddenly, Last Summer" -- the family is in the throes of summer activities: Phil and Claire are trying to orchestrate a kid-free week by coordinating Luke's camp with Haley's beach trip and Alex's volunteering excursion; Jay and Gloria are getting Manny ready for his first solo trip back to Colombia; and Mitch and Cam make it a summer to remember. In the second half-hour - "First Days" -- Luke and Manny have their first day at high school, which proves to be harder for Phil and Gloria than for the boys. Elsewhere, Claire makes her big return to the workforce at Jay's closet company and is a little rusty on her first day, and Cam starts a new substituting gig at the high school, leaving Mitch to try to juggle Lily's first day of pre-school and a very important meeting at work.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Don't you know how competitive it is out there? Stop pressuring me! You know, this is what happens to kids when they're not sexually active.”

## S5 E3 — 3. Larry's Wife
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0503.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil seems to have found his wheelhouse in real estate - recently divorced women - but it's taking up a lot of his time. Meanwhile, Luke invites his buddies over for a high-stakes poker game in the basement; Gloria think baby Joe might be cursed; and Cam holds an elaborate pet funeral for Larry the cat's made-up wife -- all for Lily's sake --.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “That one sounds a little murdery.”
  - “Oh, no! God, no, no, no! What? It's a bloodbath down there.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “For cocktail hour, they're creating a running waterfall onto which they're going to project a hologram of us embracing.”

## S5 E4 — 4. Farm Strong
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0504.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cameron's older, single sister Pam is coming for a visit, and Cam is in a panic to hide the engagement until he can delicately break the news to her, but it turns out she has news of her own. Phil and Claire make a joint, guilt-ridden decision to miss one of Luke's volleyball games - that is - until one of them goes behind the other's back, and Gloria is in denial that she might need reading glasses.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why did I have to be so sexy? A few months ago, Luke joined a club soccer team and at first we were thrilled.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “What do you mean, "fine, nothing special"? Well, there was this girl on the sixteen-year-old team who wasn't wearing a bra.”
  - “Can you push your boobs down? Because I couldn't hear you.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's called a murder.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “It was the ultimate karmic bitch-slap.”
  - “You know I can't stay mad at you when you buy me glasses, you son of a bitch! Just try 'em on.”
  - “Well, the damn airline lost my trunk.”
  - “Now who's the Magoo? What the hell language was that? Did you see that fresh coat of nail polish? She never went to the doctor.”
  - “That damn airline ran out of roast beef.”

## S5 E5 — 5. The Late Show
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0505.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Jay pulled a lot of strings to get reservations at the hottest new restaurant for a family adult's night out. Unfortunately, in each household everyone is running late - Gloria is taking forever to get ready per usual, Claire and Phil get in a tiff about letting Luke stay home alone, and Mitch and Cam end up putting on the same outfit.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Listen, I'm a realtor, and I work a lot with families, so normally, I dial the sexy back to five, but Claire's been working very hard lately.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “They only feed this cow alfalfa, barley, and red wine, and some chef hand-picks each cut, dry ages it 35 days before cooking it to a perfect medium-rare, all for me.”
  - “Doesn't the wine make the cow drunk? It's not "The Far Side.”
  - “Doesn't the wine get the cow drunk? - Thank you.”
  - “I bet Tequila would do it quicker.”

## S5 E6 — 6. The Help
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0506.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When Gloria hires a too-good-to-be-true male nanny, Jay and Manny are pretty much dead set against it. Frank is in town and feeling a bit lonely recently, so Phil and Jay take him out to help get his groove back. And, Mitch and Cam commission Pepper to plan their dream wedding, but Pepper might be dreaming a little too big.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I sent my daughter to college with condoms.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 4 moment(s)
  - “No, turns out she's a hooker.”
  - “You picked up a hooker? - Well, I didn't know she was a hooker.”
  - “Gloria! So, if I'm hearing you right, you're not so much mad about the prostitute in the kitchen as you are about my lying to you.”
  - “No, I'm mad about the prostitute in the kitchen.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “She would accuse me of trying to stab her.”
  - “Trust me, if I wanted to stab her, that skank be stabbed.”
  - “And I'm pleased as punch to be the one -- Okay, this is tough enough without all the yammering! Sorry.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Ronaldo, wait! French bistro stemless wine glasses.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Trust me, if I wanted to stab her, that skank be stabbed.”

## S5 E7 — 7. A Fair to Remember
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0507.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The family attends the annual school fair and Phil has a big 20th wedding anniversary surprise planned for Claire at the fairgrounds, but unfortunately, she simultaneously has a surprise for him back at home. Gloria signs Jay up to be a fair cop for the day and it gets worse when he's partnered up with his nemesis. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam and Lily try to enjoy the fair but Cam is in a funk from the football team's recent losing streak, and Haley has an awkward first encounter with Andy.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I sure hope Mom and dad are surprised by this anniversary breakfast we're bringing them! I hate to walk in if they are naked.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What? I do not like blood.”
  - “I do not like blood.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “You look like some kind of old, washed-up golf pro who drank his way off the tour and is one step away from writing a suicide note with one of them little pencils.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “P you broke one of his beers.”
  - “Phil! Oh, my God! What are you doing, perv?! Getting proof of where the two missing beers went.”
  - “Bring me some wine.”
  - “After Joe went down, I had a sip of beer by the pool, and a bottle broke.”

## S5 E8 — 8. ClosetCon '13
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0508.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: With some urging from Claire, Jay begrudgingly agrees to return to ClosetCon this year, and things get interesting when Jay is reunited with some old colleagues. Cam takes Mitch and Lily to the Tucker family farm for the first time and is excited to fold them into country life, that is until Grams pays an unexpected visit. And back at home, Phil, Gloria and the kids get into some mischief involving Jay's very delicate Apollo 13 spacecraft model.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I did make out with Rita once about 15 years ago.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “"Get rid of Phil"? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You and Rita had an affair.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'll get the gun.”
  - “You can't gun a cold engine.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Is it? Is -- It is! Splashdown! Son of a bitch, he did it.”
  - “How the hell did they lose our reservation? Dad, you were married to mom for thirty years, what's another couple nights on a couch.”
  - “I know I gave you hell for being who you really are, - and I want to make that up to you.”
  - “Okay, I figured out what we need to reattach that damn landing module.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Can I get a scotch and a white wine? Wow, rowdy crowd, huh? Trade shows -- people get away from their families, - get a little liquored up.”

## S5 E9 — 9. The Big Game
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0509.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: With a big football game coming up and a record to break, Coach Cam is intensely focused and showing no mercy even when the opposing team is playing with an unexpected disadvantage. Elsewhere, Claire is determined to prove to the staff that she is more than just the boss's daughter, and Phil tries to teach his kids a lesson about optimism, but the universe just isn't cooperating.
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S5 E10 — The Old Man & the Tree
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0510.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Jay takes Manny out to cut down their own Christmas tree, and Gloria is on edge with mom in town, but changes her tune when she sees her bonding with Claire. Elsewhere, Mitchell is forced to do last minute shopping when they didn't get Lily the right gift, and Cameron takes Lily to a charity event where they experience the true meaning of Christmas.
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S5 E11 — And One to Grow On
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0511.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil tricks Luke into taking a dance class, but the jokes on him when the white lie indirectly lands him in the slammer. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria are throwing birthday parties for both Manny and Joe and are concerned Manny might be going for girls out of his league, and Mitch and Cam get a rude awakening in the cutthroat world of booking a wedding venue.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Am I right? Of corpse you are.”
  - “He's been resisting, but it's in his blood.”

## S5 E12 — Under Pressure
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0512.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The high school open house puts the parents in a bit of a time warp when Claire finds herself stressed out by all the pressure, Gloria encounters a "mean girl" mom and Jay teaches Phil how to play a little hookie. Elsewhere, Mitchell gets defensive when he encounters his judgemental, environmentalist neighbor and Alex goes to see a therapist.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you want, we'll make out with you.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Right now, you're teaching me how to be a little bitch.”
  - “No! - My boots! This is a disaster! Save the seals! What -- what -- what -- what the hell? What did you do? Uh, I won a green award.”

## S5 E13 — Three Dinners
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0513.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire take Haley out to dinner to discuss her future, but Haley manages to turn the tables. Elsewhere, Jay's friend Shorty and wife Darlene are back visiting, and they have some news that doesn't sit well with Jay. And, Mitch and Cam decide to have a nice, romantic dinner date where they don't talk about the wedding or about Lily, which then leads to a lot of awkward silences.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's why you "Pbht" in my face! We just found the one thing you can't make sexy.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “I don't-- I don't know if it's the stress of planning a wedding, but we've been a little tense with each other lately, huh? Even our friend J'Marcus said how bitchy we've been.”
  - “The hell's the corkscrew? Do you want to talk about it? There's nothing to talk about! Shorty does dumb things all the time.”
  - “I admire the hell out of you, Jay.”
  - “Every damn day.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “So, our specialty cocktail for tonight is a basil-infused mojito.”
  - “Join us for a specialty cocktail - on our specialty evening.”
  - “And you brought that bad wine that everybody hated.”
  - “I feel like a Margarita.”

## S5 E14 — iSpy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0514.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Phil decide to spy on Luke and Manny as they're hanging out with one of their more questionable friends. Meanwhile, Gloria is furious with Jay because she thinks he had a dream about another woman, but Jay misinterprets her anger for another offense he committed. And, Cam secretly uses Mitch as a scapegoat to get out of attending a party, while Haley tries to keep her photography exhibit a secret from her family.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Last night, Jay had a sexy dream about some woman.”
  - “"She"? Is this the woman that you've been dreaming about at night, that you've been making the sexy noises and saying, "baby, baby"?”
  - “I was very upset, and I think I might have cried a little in my sleep, which might have sounded like sex to you, which I don't love.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I've heard murder confessions.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Honey, they're not getting high.”
  - “Elmo's Fire"? Yes! Couple of wine coolers and some '80s Rob Lowe-- I can get into that.”
  - “You want some red stuff that reminds you of wine? - Sure.”

## S5 E15 — The Feud
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0515.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil is upset to have lost his elected office of social chair to his nemesis Gil Thorpe, and when he finds out Luke is competing against Gil's kid in a wrestling match, it becomes his own personal battle. Claire is nervous for a big client meeting but things get extra hairy when Mitch and Cam ask her to pick up Lily from school and conveniently leave out the fact that her class just had a lice scare. Elsewhere, Gloria chaperones Manny's school field trip to the museum.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Are you kidding? - Nope! There's my little bra-snapper right there.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Son of a gun! He's actually okay.”

## S5 E16 — Spring-A-Ding-Fling
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0516.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Cameron is in charge of the school's big spring dance, but when a popular teacher returns from sabbatical, a bit of not-so-friendly competition blooms. And with Claire on chaperone duty at the dance, Phil gets Haley to accompany him to his annual realtor's banquet and is looking forward to impressing his little girl. Elsewhere, Mitch starts a new job and can't seem to get a good read on the new boss or the work environment. Jay and Gloria babysit Lily and an accident with Gloria's purse ignites a case of whodunit and it's Lily's word against baby Joe's.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I don't think that cleavage thing is gonna work with this one.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “That girl's got real estate in her blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Attaboy! Attaboy! A beer? Are you crazy? Where you going? You want some? He'll bring it to you.”

## S5 E17 — Other People's Children
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0517.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It's male-bonding day when Jay takes Luke into the garage to show him the way around tools and impart some manly wisdom, and Gloria goes with Claire and Lily to shop for Lily's flower girl dress. Elsewhere, Mitch, Cam, Alex and Manny go for a cultured day at the museum but it eventually becomes survival of the smartest. And Phil enthusiastically offers to help Andy with his anniversary gift to his girlfriend, which is an elaborate video expression of his love.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I-I took an art history class once, but that was just to look at naked Italian dudes, so Remember now, you're in subzero temperatures.”
  - “Joe I know you're all about the boobs right now, but trust me the neck.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “That is the reaction for when there's a man behind me with a gun.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You got any more questions, Luke? Just one Can I have a sip? The beer? Sure.”
  - “My first drink of beer.”

## S5 E18 — Las Vegas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0518.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: The adults are Vegas-bound when Jay hooks them up with Excelsior Level hotel accommodations courtesy of one of his big clients, but after learning there's an even higher level, Jay becomes obsessed with upgrading. Meanwhile, everyone's sneaking around when Claire secretly hits the tables to win back money she lost years ago, Phil goes underground auditioning for a secret society of magicians, Cam ducks out of a spa day with Mitch to join their friend's bachelor party shenanigans, and Gloria is determined to hide a female version of dog butler Barkley from Jay.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “We got to really lay it on for this guy -- best scotch, put on something sexy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “He was Scottish? - He was a stripper.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! Come on, let me see an eight.”
  - “Son of a bitch!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You want to tell me how you "accidentally" gave someone your key? You want to tell me why you spent all day sipping Tequila out of some guy's navel? - You saw that? - I guessed.”

## S5 E19 — A Hard Jay's Night
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0519.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitch struggles to hide his true feelings about the unflattering wedding topper Cam's father whittled out of soap for them, Phil tries to help Gloria sell her pre-Jay apartment but they get sidetracked at the neighborhood salon, and Claire and the kids head over to Jay's early to help him prep for the special night with the family he's hosting but they end up just butting heads.
Watch for:
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Keep it down, you bitch! Ay.”
  - “Only do what we're capable of, right? Oh, damn.”
  - “What's your 20? - Oh, what the hell? - What's going on? The kids unfriended me again.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Sorry we're late, but we come with wine.”
  - “What?! I tried beer.”
  - “It's just, you reach a certain age, and you start to wonder, "Am I everything I wanted to be?" I mean, am I selling houses, or am I just selling out? Anything else? Alex tried beer.”

## S5 E20 — Australia
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0520.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The entire family tags along as Phil fulfills his mom's wish for him to return to his roots and visit the country where he was conceived, Australia. Unfortunately, Phil's attempts to embrace his native land are met by a lot of rejection, while Jay and Claire let work eat into vacation time, and Mitch and Cam get reacquainted with an old friend they can't stand but is now a big-time celebrity in Australia.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Tired of not seeing boobs.”
  - “You're gonna spook the boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “And you should be ashamed of yourself! You have a husband who is on a spiritual journey and was punched by a kangaroo! What?! Gloria! Honey, I just heard.”
  - “How did you get punched by a kangaroo? Really hard.”
  - “You don't mind me saying, you look a bit beaten up.”

## S5 E21 — Sleeper
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0521.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil fails at his one task to stay home and wait for the repairman, forcing him to tell an elaborate lie to hide the truth from Claire, but the stress is more than he can physically handle. Meanwhile, Gloria is obsessing over the family portrait she is responsible for organizing this year. Claire accuses Cam of being too snobby to use her girls' hand-me-downs and Jay secretly enters Stella in a dog show.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “" "Phil!" "The soundtrack to my first sexual experience "that I think about from time to time.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “But then it dawned on me -- I was cheating on my wife with the red-hot memory of another woman.”

## S5 E22 — Message Received
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0522.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay, Gloria and Manny challenge each other to step outside their comfort zone and try something new. Mitch and Cam's wedding is getting too big and costly so they resort to selling a couple of their prized possessions, and the kids play a joke on Phil and Claire.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Has like 30 nipples.”
  - “Oh, you mean the guys who sit around the locker room watching football naked? No! No! See, this -- this isn't about them.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “How many times have I asked you to try my mother's blood sausages? Totally different.”
  - “How do you know it's disgusting if you've never tried it? You've never tried grandma's delicious blood sausage that's right there in the freezer? Oh, you're right.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're drunk with power.”

## S5 E23 — The Wedding (1)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0523.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitch and Cam's big day is finally here and nothing can ruin it, until nothing turns into a whole lot of somethings and puts wedding planner extraordinaire Pepper Saltzman to the test. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria host the Tuckers, Phil squeezes in an eye procedure before the festivities and Claire embraces her role as "best woman".
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “If I talked to Jay that nice, he would think I'm cheating on him.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, like that bloodbath this morning? Ohh.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Now I'm just feeling racist.”

## S5 E24 — The Wedding (2)
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0524.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In the conclusion of the Season 5 finale, the chaos of Mitch and Cam's wedding continues as the grooms grow discouraged; the guests are starting to get restless; and the whole ordeal takes a toll on Claire's physical and emotional state.
Watch for:
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Runaway bride, suicidal groom, feuding families.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “This is how you try to fix things? - You get her drunk? - Don't blame him.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “There once was a homo named Tucker Sal, stop.”

## S6 E1 — 1. The Long Honeymoon
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0601.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: This summer has been exceptionally blissful in the Dunphy house, Alex is away on a humanitarian trip and the rest of the family is getting along swimmingly, but when Alex comes home, there is an immediate shift in mood. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam have returned from their honeymoon and Mitch is acclimating to real life much quicker than the still lovey-dovey Cameron. And, Gloria has taken issue with how little effort Jay puts into his appearance and decides to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Not that I could sleep with all the rats.”
  - “I married you because you were sexy.”
  - “You said I was sexy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “We're a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “And, by the way, if any of you start coughing up blood, my bad.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, is that today? So, listen, I have this boring cocktail thing at the office, but I should be home by 6:00, and then we can head to the party.”

## S6 E2 — 2. Do Not Push
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0602.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: It's Jay and Gloria's anniversary and they can't seem to get on the same page on what kind of gift to give - sentimental or expensive? And, the Dunphys head to Caltech for Alex's college tour and while Claire is busy convincing her to choose this school and stay close to home, Phil, Luke and Haley branch off to participate in a psyche experiment. Mitch and Cam are taking a new family portrait with Lily to replace the old one above their mantel, but Lily gives some serious face.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you? Sexy pants.”
  - “It's so sexy, that watch.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “He looks like he's mid-sneeze, which is a shame, 'cause I was having a great boob year.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Total shot in the dark.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Let's join hands and send these sons of bitches and their filthy monkey a message! Feels good.”
  - “Yeah, that's, uh 'Cause, um The damn stupid jeweler didn't put the bracelet in there.”
  - “Maybe that's what those scientists are looking for -- Rebels! You know what? Who gives a hoot what those bastards want? No offense.”
  - “Damn straight.”

## S6 E3 — 3. The Cold
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0603.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil is putting together Mitch and Cam's wedding video for a special family screening, but when the footage reveals that he is responsible for a horrible cold that has plagued the family, he must do some creative editing. Jay and Gloria have different ways of helping Manny cope with the stresses of high school football, while coach Cam struggles between whether or not to bench him. And, Mitchell gets strangely competitive with Lily's new friend, Sydney, who is clearly a genius.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “No, this is not wine.”
  - “With a little bit of last night's wine.”
  - “Okay, now I need some footage of me reacting to Jay's speech to replace the champagne sneeze, and I'll just drop that into another table full of people.”

## S6 E4 — 4. Marco Polo
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0604.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The Dunphys move into a cramped hotel room while their house is getting treated for mold and Phil sees this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together but Claire and the kids are less than enthused. Gloria becomes over protective when Manny starts dating an older, popular girl, and Cameron is under a lot of pressure to maintain his team's winning streak but when he realizes Mitchell may be a jinx, emotions run high.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “What's that? It's a body spray called sex grenade.”
  - “Can I please talk to Harry or David? What's that smell? I believe you're referring to my bold new scent -- "sex gre-nod.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Rumpled bed, wine bra.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “" Son of a gun.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Do you know if Alex got my text? Your swipe-card wine.”
  - “I spilled my wine in the tub.”

## S6 E5 — 5. Won't You Be Our Neighbor
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0605.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil is selling the house next door and he and Claire are excited by the prospect of having wonderful new neighbors, but that quickly turns into panic when a loud and obnoxious couple come to look at the house. Jay forbids Manny to see his new girlfriend when he realizes she's the granddaughter of his biggest business rival, leading to a clash of the closet titans. Elsewhere, Mitch and Cam are determined to switch Lily out of Mrs. Plank's class since she is known to rule with an iron fist - not to mention she scares them too.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I just make out with him so I don't have to take his class again.”
  - “I had the best sex of my life in there.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “To disclose all illegal additions, shoddy construction, murders, and ghosts Are we wrong or is there some tension between the four of us? Uh, maybe a little.”
  - “Whoa, no guns allowed in this house.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! No! No! No! No! Stop it! Sit down! This is crazy.”
  - “Well, what the hell? It was Larry Hagman.”
  - “Damn, this neighborhood's sweet.”
  - “Damn it, she saw the sock it to me! So what? If she can remember how it works, she's gonna tell Earl all about it.”
  - “Where's Jay? What the hell are you doing here? This thing between us is getting out of control.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “He owns, like, a buttload of medical-weed dispensaries.”
  - “The husband is a huge wine collector.”
  - “The guys on the other side of this wall, they like to get drunk and play with their nail gun.”

## S6 E6 — 6. Halloween 3: AwesomeLand
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0606.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Even though Halloween is Claire's holiday, she allows Phil to take over this year so instead of her usual fright-fest theme, he decides to turn the house into AwesomeLand! Gloria picks out Princess Fiona and Shrek costumes for her and Jay but Jay decides he wants to be Prince Charming complete with a full head of gorgeous hair, and with the hair comes a new sense of confidence. Elsewhere, Cameron gets overwhelmed by the day's activities and Mitchell has closing arguments for a huge case, and it doesn't help that the stenographer is dressed like a spider.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Okay, what do you think -- handsome Hawaiian or sexy scotsman? I can't do this right now.”
  - “Sexy people go crazy, too, you know.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “What'd you use to make the blood? A knife.”
  - “Claire loves blood and guts and gore, but who says Halloween has to be scary? Everybody but you.”
  - “You gonna put some blood on it, maybe dangle an eyeball? Who hurt you? I'm kidding.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Our new neighbors, medical-marijuana retailer Ronnie and his wife, Amber, moved in two months ago, and -- it's been a week and a half.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “You lied just to make me feel bad? No, no -- we lied so that we could win with our zombie house o' whores! That is so messed up.”
  - “Did you say "whores," or -- No, no.”

## S6 E7 — 7. Queer Eyes, Full Hearts
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0607.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil and Claire don't know if they should be happy or concerned that Haley and Andy are spending a lot of time together, however, they soon find things are not what they appear. Gloria is pushing Manny to learn Spanish instead of French so she goes ahead and hires a Spanish tutor, Diego, who also happens to be very handsome, much to Manny and Jay's chagrin. Meanwhile, Mitch and Cam meet a popular news reporter at a school function and one of them peaks her journalistic interest.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know, it's just sex.”
  - “I am not having sex with Andy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “So these homeless people are making a dollar an hour -- Are there a lot of openly gay coaches? Oh, if the adult film industry's to be believed, there all are.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “The big-time stylist to the stars? He's the one that slapped Katie Couric.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 2 moment(s)
  - “I was volunteering at a suicide hotline.”
  - “Get off the couch! Do something with your life! Was it an assisted suicide hotline? Your father's home from work.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…who's tackling stereotypes? That on my team, prejudice is considered out of bounds? That we're blitzing bigotry, kicking intolerance, - and beating - Metaphors to death?”

## S6 E8 — 8. Three Turkeys
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0608.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil cooks for Thanksgiving and enlists Luke as his sous-chef, but Claire secretly prepares another turkey when she doesn't trust them to get the job done. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's holiday travel plans fall through, though they come to regret not telling anyone about it; and Cameron comes up with an unusual idea to make Lily wear a dress for dinner.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 6 moment(s)
  - “Now, Philip, rub the breasts and thighs with olive oil.”
  - “Now, Philip, cover the breast and legs with a buttered cheesecloth.”
  - “For a second, it looked like - Ta-da? - Oh, my god! - You have my underwear?! - No.”
  - “Just take your panties and go.”
  - “Re-creating the quaint part of the pilgrim story where they trade underwear for corn? Oh, my god.”
  - “I've been oiling these breasts all day.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You two seem drunk.”
  - “This will soak up the booze.”

## S6 E9 — 9. Strangers in the Night
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0609.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Alex tells Phil and Claire she has a boyfriend, they worry they've put too much pressure on her and has made up an imaginary boyfriend. Jay and Gloria both have parties that they are dragging the other to and Jay has a clever plan to get himself out of it, but Manny just might spoil everything. Mitch and Cam just got a beautiful white couch delivered but when Mitch is stuck helping out Brenda, a distressed co-worker, and allows her to stay - it is a mishap waiting to happen.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, sometimes it's good to get in and out fast, though, huh? We haven't had sex in 14 months.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, if I don't beat him to it first.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Cam, are we terrible people? For protecting a Vanderkoff? He hanged himself last year.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Who will outsmart whom?" Son of a bitch.”
  - “What do we do? I mean, should we send her back to that therapist? The one we've never met? No! Wait! Don't open it! Move away! It's for me! Move! Damn.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, you guys have a cat? Um, how about I freshen up that wine, huh? - Oh, no.”

## S6 E10 — Haley's 21st Birthday
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0610.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley is turning twenty-one and the whole family is taking her to a bar to celebrate! Claire really wants Haley to start seeing her as a friend rather than her uptight mom, Mitch and Cam make the sad realization that they may not be as cool as they thought, and Phil and Jay's quick pit stop to pick up Haley's gift, a new car, becomes a disaster. Back at home, Alex, Luke and Manny babysit Lily and she decides to drop the 'where do babies come from?' bomb.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “What's that? And I said, "would you rather marry George Clooney "or have the best sex of your life for just one night with Tom Hardy?" - Who's that? - I don't know.”
  - “Come on, sexy, don't be like that.”
  - “I don't know why you Americans are so uptight about sex.”
  - “I know! I know! I know! - It's very sexy.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I have stabbed closer relatives than you.”
  - “Or, like, a bird and a rifle.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You made me change my shirt two times before we left the house and force-fed me a cheese sandwich so I wouldn't get sloppy drunk.”
  - “We're like catnip to drunken bachelorette party girls.”
  - “Okay, so, a boy and a girl meet at a frat party and they both think each other is totally hot, so they pound their beers and head upstairs.”

## S6 E11 — The Day We Almost Died
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0611.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: While driving out to get breakfast, the Dunphys including Manny have a near death experience causing everyone to reevaluate their lives. Claire resolves to be more fun and less uptight, Haley and Alex agree not to fight anymore, Manny refuses to ever ride in a car again, Luke wants to check off his bucket list, Phil decides to be a take action type of guy and the rest of the family has to bear the brunt of all the new attitudes.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is Phil sexy? Hey.”
  - “Ooh! Who's this guy? Get over here, sexy.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “And yet you somehow found time to bitch at me.”
  - “What the hell was that?! Oh, I'm just getting started! Ohh! Why do you have to be such a silly Haley, stop! Mom! Phil, honey.”
  - “Ay! ¡Dios mío! Are you okay, papi? This was all Phil's fault, wasn't it? He's always blaring that damn new wave music! No.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sophie threw a rock at me and you yelled, "you're so gay.”

## S6 E12 — The Big Guns
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0612.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire is furious about neighbors Ronnie and Amber's eye-sore of a boat on their front lawn and it soon becomes an all-out war when Phil calls in the "big guns" as back up -- his dad Frank and all his retired friends to give them a taste of their own medicine. Elsewhere, Jay is trying to potty train Joe but Gloria does not think he's ready yet, and Cam secretly takes Lily to clown school behind Mitchell's back.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “You are so sexy right now.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “He's grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Because of me, clowning is in Lily's blood.”
  - “Son of a gun.”
  - “They dissed my woman, so I called in the big guns.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Run home to your mommy, you little bitch.”
  - “What the hell is this? We see your driveway boat and raise you a convoy of retirees.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “We have this at our dispensary, except we got weed in it.”
  - “Is that weed I smell? - Wait.”
  - “When I get drunk, I snore real loud, so I won't hear a thing.”
  - “Here's your beer, Frank.”

## S6 E13 — Rash Decisions
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0613.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil is starting to feel the teenage cold shoulder from Luke, and with Andy hanging around a lot recently as his apprentice, he easily steps in as his new right hand man. Meanwhile, Gloria and the doctors suspect that Joe might be allergic to Stella which leaves Jay in a very tough predicament, and Mitchell is doing some freelance legal work at Jay's closet company and working with Claire becomes a very enlightening experience for the both of them.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “She's even sleeping with her now.”
  - “Yay! I can finally sleep with without her all over snoring! I've had enough.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Who is that? Denise? Put that dirty hooker on the phone.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We're just stopping by a bar after work, have some beer, some hot wings.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're such a slut.”
  - “You know it, slut.”

## S6 E14 — Valentine's Day 4: Twisted Sister
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0614.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Valentine's Day is here again which means "Juliana" and "Clive" are back, however, things get worrisome when Claire starts sensing Phil may be more into Juliana than her! Elsewhere, Jay goes from feeling disappointed to scared when Gloria's visiting sister, Sonia, becomes a larger deterrence for a romantic evening with Gloria than he thought. And, Mitchell and Cameron get themselves in a very precarious situation with their good friend Anders.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Every Valentine's Day, Claire and I look forward to some naughty role-playing sexually adventurous cuckolder Juliana and Clive Bixby, speaker salesman by day spy by night.”
  - “I have been working on fixing my relationship with Sonia the whole week and because you think you're a sex machine, you have ruined everything.”
  - “But, by some cosmic miracle, there's a woman in that house that I still find as sexy and exciting as the first day I met her.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “But she's not a murderer - Oh! - [Spoon Clatters.]”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's much easier just to take the other bitch down.”
  - “I know only girls are supposed to care about Valentine's Day, but Ah, what am I crying about? We get paid more so what the hell? [Sighs.]”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I turn it on during cocktails, when I tend to forget she's even there.”
  - “A little champagne, and dinner will be ready in 10 minutes.”

## S6 E15 — Fight or Flight
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0615.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After a long reunion weekend with Phil's old cheer buddies, Claire jumps at the chance to snag the only first class seat left on the return flight home leaving Phil in coach and both have completely opposite experiences. Meanwhile, Gloria forces Jay to teach Manny how to defend himself against a bully in his cooking class, but when things backfire it seems that the real bully might be someone else. Mitch, Cameron, Pepper and the whole gang throw Sal a belated baby shower and they are all blown away by how motherhood has changed her, or has it really?.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “…pregnant only to have her desert the baby so that we can finally get one? The same God that impregnated a virgin sent Moses down the river in a basket and commanded Abraham to stab his own son.”
  - “And I haven't had sex in, like, a year.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm still breast-feeding.”
  - “How does she breast-feed him if she doesn't let him near plastic? Mom, do I have a fever? Ay, let me check.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “…one? The same God that impregnated a virgin sent Moses down the river in a basket and commanded Abraham to stab his own son.”
  - “You just have to turn your shoulder first so that you can throw your weight behind your punch.”
  - “He learned how to punch from the best.”
  - “I was kicked out for punching a really misunderstood kid, thanks to you.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “This crazy bitch just messed with the wrong crazy bitch.”
  - “That gin-soaked tart abandoned the little bastard.”
  - “It's hell back here too.”
  - “Now you walk in there like a badass and you make the best damn lasagna anybody's ever seen.”
  - “What the hell? I was just offering you some apple crumble.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Aw! This is as long as you've ever been in our house without a cocktail.”
  - “The drunkest guy at the party.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm sitting next to a cheese-eating racist.”
- Slut-shaming — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't wanna sound like a sentimental softy but does anyone miss the drunken whore she used to be? Oh, I like the new Sal.”
  - “What did this skank Sarah say to you? Huh.”

## S6 E16 — Connection Lost
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0616.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire's computer becomes the hub of all the family's activities when she gets stuck at the airport and is desperate to reach Haley after a big fight. After FaceTiming with Phil and the rest of the family to help track her down, Claire quickly turns to online snooping which inevitably becomes disturbing real quick and everyone gets sucked into the online drama.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “And you know what? This is all your fault because you two introduced this horny stranger into our lives.”

## S6 E17 — Closet? You'll Love It!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0617.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay and Claire scramble to shoot a Pritchett Closets commercial in response to their competitor's new and catchy ad, but there might be some creative differences between father and daughter. A peeping-Tom in the neighborhood keeps using a drone to spy on Gloria sun-bathing so Phil, Luke and Manny make it their mission to take it down. Elsewhere, a tone deaf Lily prepares to perform in her school talent show and Cameron is more worried about it than she is, and Haley's feelings for Andy become even more complicated when he gets rushed to the hospital with appendicitis.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yep, Chase picked out these vintagey sunglasses that look like I could've been murdered at a cool house party in the '70s.”

## S6 E18 — Spring Break
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0618.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Spring break has Claire doing some spring cleaning, while Phil struggles with not being a spring chicken when Luke starts outperforming him at seemingly everything. Haley takes Alex to a music festival to take her mind off of colleges, and Gloria and Jay challenge one another to give up Spanish soap operas and cigars respectively. However, when Gloria accompanies Cameron to his faculty talent show, she projects the soapy drama she craves onto Cam's rivalry with Senor Kaplan, and Jay tags along with Mitchell to pick up Lily from camp so he can sneak a smoke.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Based off the walk I just took side-boob is the new butt crack.”
  - “Is that a bra? You're not supposed to have girls up here.”
  - “Oh, really? How come an hour ago, I had a 16-year-old girl's bra in my hand? - Can we talk somewhere more private? - Mm-hmm.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “And stab it with our marshmallow sticks.”
  - “Now on this one night, the night of the full moon what they call the "blood moon" Ooh! Okay, what was at this prison was a ghost the ghost of an old man with glowing red eyes who breathed fire! I'm bored.”
  - “Can we go to sleep early? I think you're forgetting about the blood moon.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is there vodka in here? - If there is it's not doing anybody any good until I get it in there.”
  - “What do you mean, you didn't pour it down her throat? Did you get her drunk? Hey, you hacked her computer.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You don't have the foot sensitivity of a tramp champ.”

## S6 E19 — Grill, Interrupted
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0619.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Jay's birthday brings everyone together and Phil is beside himself over the super cool gift he got Jay, a high-tech outdoor grill. Claire and Mitch decide they will "offer" to pay back the money Jay loaned them ages ago as their gift not really thinking he will take them up on it, and Gloria teaches Manny and Luke a lesson about drinking, while Andy gets real awkward with Haley when she brings over her new doctor boyfriend.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “A little early for tequila, isn't it? - It's for Luke.”
  - “I've been drinking this tequila, and I cannot find the worm.”

## S6 E20 — Knock 'Em Down
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0620.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay agrees to sub in on Cam's bowling team for the finals but Cam was not fully upfront about it being an all gay league, which puts Jay in a precarious position. Phil and Claire have a surprisingly good time with unlikely dinner companions, their neighbors Ronnie and Amber, and Gloria and Mitch agree to go clubbing with Haley to prove they're still young and fun but they didn't anticipate the pre-party portion of the night.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “What? Now you're talking! There's the girl that I occasionally have sex dreams about.”
  - “Looks like you're sleeping with an outlaw tonight.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Porn belongs on a big screen in the bedroom or your phone in the bathroom.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, don't you just love it the crash of the pins the smell of the rental shoe spray? Yeah, it does kind of get the blood going.”
  - “Staying up all night it's in your blood.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “It's a Michaels and you know it, you son of a bitch! Fine.”
  - “I look at this, and I'm like, "What the hell? Where's the sparkle? Where's the guy that scored the winning touchdown and was carried off by his team?" This guy looks like he was carried off by the current.”
  - “What the hell is an otter? Lane 20.”
  - “Damn it! That guy is not gay.”
  - “Oh, damn it! [Clears Throat.]”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “You come from the land of coffee and cocaine.”
  - “Should we order a bottle of wine? - Yes.”
  - “That's a $500 bottle of wine.”
  - “And now there's one in my beer.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “You made me gay.”

## S6 E21 — Integrity
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0621.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil and Jay run an errand together to pick up Lily's hand me down princess castle for Joe, both though are in a mood because Phil is upset that Claire won't let him buy a videogame console, and Jay thinks Gloria is letting Joe play with too many girlie items. Mitch and Cam babysit Joe and both get the itch for another baby -- that is until Joe presents to be quite the handful! Meanwhile, Gloria tries to help Haley stand up for herself at work, and Claire tries to bribe Luke's principal to give him one of the student awards this year.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Someone's looking sexy and sweaty.”
  - “And this sexy, sweaty someone is now the proud owner of a vintage Ms.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “My underwear got pulled over my head by a girl.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sounded a tiny bit prostitute-y.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Before you know it, you're picking up a pink princess castle for your pedicured two-year-old saying good-bye to your last chance to have one red-blooded man in the family.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “Check the structural integrity of the trophy case, bitches 'cause Mama's bringing home some hardware! Awards day at school the one day of the year Alex has some real swagger.”
  - “How do I make a standing reservation? - Parking's a bitch.”
  - “It's lavender bath beads, you son of a bitch!”
  - “Jay, don't forget to drop Joe at Mitch and Cam's later! What time are they expecting me to, uh Oh, what the hell? Isn't it cute? Last night when I went to do my nails the girls did it just for fun.”
  - “And you're getting that damn game, Phil! What in the name of Pac-Man creator Toru lwatani have you done? You deserve it.”
  - “What the hell did you do? - I thought you sent me a message! - Have you lost your mind? Thank God it's still in one piece.”
  - “I know that this job sucks, but it might actually lead to something.”

## S6 E22 — Patriot Games
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0622.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Alex's worst nightmare is realized when she gets news that she has to share the Valedictorian title with her number one competitor, Sunjay! Both sets of parents get equally caught up in the rivalry and convince Principal Brown to let them break the tie via a gym grade they both have not completed - a one mile run. Elsewhere, Gloria is studying for her upcoming U.S. citizenship test and a visit from Javier throws her off her game, and Mitch and Cam blindly agree to join a protest against a local restaurant that they are actually secretly excited about.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “They should be off celebrating, playing hooky going up to the lake house to go skinny-dipping with their friend's older brother who's home from college.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I feel like I just cheated on you.”
- Swearing — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? That son of a bitch wants me to turn my back on my homeland for an airport line? You know, I should at least make an appearance at Billy's.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We'll fire up some steaks, pour a little wine, you pop into those short shorts I chase you around the living room that type of thing.”

## S6 E23 — Crying Out Loud
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0623.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The family is determined to make Alex celebrate her senior ditch day and Phil, Luke and Haley forcefully take her out but end up at an unexpected detour. Claire is torn when she gets a job offer from a big hotel chain but feeling torn quickly gets replaced with feelings of confusion when she can't tell whether or not Jay really cares if she stays or goes. And with Manny groggy off of pain killers from his wisdom teeth procedure, Gloria seizes the moment to put a sabotage plan into effect to break Manny and his new girlfriend up.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “This is where we were all murdered.”
  - “Don't get blood in my eggs.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Who's Dan Signer? - I thought we were grabbing a beer at the club.”

## S6 E24 — American Skyper
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0624.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The whole family is at Jay & Gloria's for Alex's graduation party, except for Phil, who ingeniously figured out a way to be there via skype and a robotic vessel after being unexpectedly detained in Seattle on a business trip. During the celebration, Jay frets about Gloria's cousin who has overstayed his welcome, Claire stresses out about giving Alex the perfect gift, Mitch hides news of being laid off from Cam and Andy's girlfriend, Beth, is in town stirring up a whole lot tension with Haley which finally leads to a realization that may have come too late.
Watch for:
- Affairs / cheating — 3 moment(s)
  - “I think Mitchell's having an affair.”
  - “You are having an affair.”
  - “As long as you're not cheating on me, that's all that matters.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Should I frisk her for guns? - Oh, geez.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “That's heroin! - What? - You know, horse, smack, hell dust.”
  - “Like he would bring $150,000 worth of heroin into this house! - How do you know how much - What? I can't know street value? Alex, honey, could I borrow you for a minute? One sec.”
  - “He comes in here eats all my food, drinks all my booze and never so much as does a dish.”
  - “I was mad because you wasted your vote on Ralph Nader.”

## S7 E1 — 1. Summer Lovin'
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0701.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: In the Season 7 premiere, Haley tries to stop Andy from proposing to Beth, but the attempt does a number on their emotions. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria look at preschools for Joe, and are shocked by how competitive the process can be; and Cameron remains supportive of Mitchell's midlife career crisis, though he hatches a plan to get his husband's old job back when they start to run out of money.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I sleep with so many actresses and models who are into guys with jets and boats and ski houses, but I always wondered, wouldn't it be more satisfying to sleep with actresses and models who are into artists?”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'd kill myself.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “You know, I came here to talk you into coming back to the company, but you're the most at-peace son of a bitch I've ever met, and I hired the Dalai Lama for a pool party.”
  - “What the hell? I'll do it.”
  - “Damn it! Why am I not painting? Well, you're so busy running your company.”
  - “What the hell? Why are you so good? I don't know.”
  - “I got so pissed that I wrapped the club around a tree and drove the golf cart off the little bridge into the lake.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “He looks like the kind of guy you want to have a beer with, you know? We have one educator for every four children -- I have a question.”

## S7 E2 — 2. The Day Alex Left for College
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0702.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Alex leaves for college, but gives her parents false information about her move-in day so they can't make a big production out of it. Meanwhile, Luke tries to get out of helping Phil at his open house; and Mitch and Cam feel the stress of being landlords after deciding to rent out their upstairs unit, and the family's excuses for missing Lily's soccer game don't make their lives any easier.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Ow! That stings! This is so not sexy.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Unless Jay really gets shot in the foot.”
  - “I can't believe I'm saying this, once again, in only seven years of marriage, but please put the gun down.”
  - “It's a pellet gun.”
  - “Oh, and the blood.”
  - “There was so much blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - Jay: “How often do you break in here? Does that explain the white wine? We fired a cleaning lady.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “After we tramp.”

## S7 E3 — 3. The Closet Case
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0703.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley convinces her mom to let Dylan move in, on a temporary basis, with her dad's help, but Phil has second thoughts when he sees just what living together means. Meanwhile, Mitchell gets a consulting job with Jay's biggest rival; and Manny has a girl problem at school, but Gloria and Cameron are at odds over how he should handle it.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Just go sleep with Haley.”
  - “"Sexy Manny"? I hope there's a number to a good therapist in here.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “There's room for another knife in my back.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Son of that son of a bitch Jay Pritchett? Reporting for duty.”
  - “What the hell? You can stay.”
  - “The hell you are! Get! Get! [ Both grunting .]”

## S7 E4 — 4. She Crazy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0704.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire has ideas for closets, but is apprehensive about pitching them to Jay and his creative team. Meanwhile, Phil creates a habitat for ducks while waiting for his eggs to hatch, though no one else shares his enthusiasm; Gloria and Manny help out with each other's crushes; and Cameron becomes overly friendly with the fraternity guys who are renting their upstairs unit.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Dudes, beer pong! Pong, pong, pong! Beers are in the fridge, bros.”

## S7 E5 — 5. The Verdict
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0705.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Claire is excited to give Haley and Alex a great experience for "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day" but the staff is not making it easy, and Phil takes Luke and Manny's class out for community service day, which becomes a teachable moment in more ways than one. Elsewhere, Gloria is thrilled to be on jury duty leaving Jay to help out at Joe's pre-school and he is not happy about it at all. Cam and Mitch disagree over which of their friends to invite to their party, so could Gloria help mediate?
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “That's a fancy way of saying you're a virgin.”
  - “You have a condom stuck to your shoe.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, you better get used to going there, because if I get put into a murder trial, I could be gone for weeks.”
  - “Don't let your skinny jeans cut off the blood to your hearts.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “It's melting like a son of a bitch.”
  - “What the hell's wrong with that school? Aren't we paying them so we don't have to take care of our kid? That's not the way it works at The Learning Barn.”
  - “Damn it! That's why I need a grease pencil in the shower.”
  - “Oh, damn it.”
  - “Hey! What the hell? There he is! Mr.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Jay? In here with the booze.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I spy with my little eye a first-time volunteer! Gloria had jury duty, so no chance I could get out of this by pretending to be racist? [ Chuckles .]”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Maybe he'll bring one of those shirtless ab sluts I've seen on his Facebook page.”

## S7 E6 — 6. The More You Ignore Me
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0706.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Claire and Phil have their hands full when Luke gets arrested for driving without a license, then they catch Alex sneaking out of a liquor store, but that's on top of Phil dealing with some personal insecurities. Elsewhere, Cam tries to convince Gloria to recreate and sell her family's hot sauce while Mitch helps Jay shoot a video to accompany his Titans of Industry award. And Haley and Dylan have an awkward encounter with Andy and Beth at the movies
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sarah Fisher's cat died, and she was devastated, so I thought she might make out with me.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “It's our job to keep him off the stripper pole.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, I'm sorry! I-I -- - You are now! Reuben? Oh, my god! I killed Reuben! Oh, babe? What's going on? That's blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You want to go grab a burger and a beer next door? - Well, I -- - I definitely do.”
  - “A college student is visiting a friend, and they're buying beer! Relax, Phil.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “We could fight that -- Say the cop was racist.”

## S7 E7 — 7. Phil's Sexy, Sexy House
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0707.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Everyone is at Jay & Gloria's for post-Thanksgiving leftovers brunch and after a conversation about the sexy and sleek house that Phil is helping Mitch and Cam's friend sell, everyone gets the same bright idea to sneak in there and have a little "fun." Unbeknownst to one another they all choose the same day to go, and then it quickly escalates into a game of hide and hopefully don't get found. Meanwhile, back at Jay and Gloria's, Gloria has successfully stolen copies of everyone's drivers licenses during the brunch so Jay and her can buy them all a surprise family trip to Miami, but in actuality Jay has a surprise in store for Gloria, only to then get trumped by her surprise.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Pretty sexy, huh? - Ridonk.”
  - “Even the security code's sexy.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Welder by day stripper by choice.”
  - “…a Batman cape to the first day of high school! You're really judging me right now when you look like a hooker at Comic-Con?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “And that master bathtub alone has been in four rap videos plus a murder re-creation on a "Dateline" special called "Rub-a-dub Dead.”
  - “Your father -- - Everybody freeze! Tae Kwon Joe! Eyes on those blood bats!”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “All right, now, I'm gonna go make some cocktails, - and then when that sun goes down ‭- Mm-hmm.”
  - “‭- I'll go get the cocktails.”

## S7 E8 — 8. Clean Out Your Junk Drawer
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0708.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When the family participates in a group therapy session, skepticism is quickly replaced by high emotions.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “I hooked up with Andy.”
  - “And, ironically, you're one of the reasons why, but A better person does not hook up with an engaged person.”
  - “We were all alone at this house that dad had set up to be sexy -- Dad made it sexy for you?! No, no, for the buyer, but Andy and I were alone, a-and suddenly Bam.”
  - “I told you! For the record, we are just as grossed out at the thought of you all having sex -- That's it! I'm out! What the hell are we doing? Dancing around, telling secrets like girls at a slumber party.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “"Bam" as in sex or "bam" as in what Reuben shouted when he unhooked my bra? Let's just leave it at "bam.”
  - “I'm even wearing embarrassing underwear just in case.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, that felt good getting that out.”
  - “What the hell is that, dad? I'm playing an accordion.”
  - “These guys didn't do that crap.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I might need booze for this.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm sorry! But I have to go pick up my son because my idiot ex-husband loaned his car to his latest Tinder whore.”

## S7 E9 — 9. White Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0709.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Gloria's wish is for a lovely white Christmas with the family - now if only everyone else would just get with the program.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “silent night holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child! Okay, hey, hey, I have a fun idea! Why don't we give Lily one of her presents right now? - Ooh, that is a fun idea, daddy.”
  - “Shh! - You -- - silent night - What the hell is that? holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child - Son of a bitch!”
  - “Andy's fiancée, Beth, has to work, so Gloria invited him for Christmas, which is complicated because we've been having sex and nobody knows about it.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “And I'm actually cheating on him, too.”
  - “Hey, you broke up with Beth? She cheated on me.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I just got stabbed in the back.”
  - “Really? You were stabbed in the back? A daughter mocking her father's life.”
  - “"I'm hungry for the blood of a little girl.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Shh! - You -- - silent night - What the hell is that? holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child - Son of a bitch!”
  - “Can I have everyone's attention, please? I feel so lucky celebrating with the best damn family any man could hope for.”
  - “Why? Damn you and that eagle scout smile.”
  - “Christmas, huh? Who the hell came up with this one? It was Emperor Constantine.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're sweating like a heroin addict.”
  - “You owe her 25 margaritas!”

## S7 E10 — Playdates
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0710.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Claire and Phil have dinner plans with this great couple they met on vacation; the only problem is they never pick up the bill, so Claire insists Phil be strong this time and make them pay. Gloria organizes a playdate with a couple that appears to have a lot in common with them - they also have a young son Joe's age, but the husband is in his eighties and Jay takes it very personally. Elsewhere, Haley, Alex and Luke are surprised when Uncle Mitchell comes over to cash in on the birthday coupon they gave him for a belated celebration, so they scramble and end up on an impromptu tour of celebrity homes.
Watch for:
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “You smell like a stripper died in a cabin.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Where are you going with your golf clubs? Take a shot in the dark.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “I'm literally in a pissing contest with the son of a bitch.”
  - “Damn it! Think, uncle Mitchell.”
  - “She lived here for about You think the bastards would update these things to reflect the current movie-star owners.”
  - “Ah, crap! Uh, here.”
  - “What the hell is going on here? - Nothing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “‭- Let's get some champagne.”
  - “We were drunk on margaritas, and we wanted to find out whose wife would eat the most crickets.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's racist, daddy.”

## S7 E11 — Spread Your Wings
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0711.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Sick of having the ducklings around the house, Claire and the kids seize an opportunity to help expedite the ducks leaving the nest while Phil is off visiting Alex at college. Meanwhile, Jay helps Mitch with Lily's sleepover with her friends from her Vietnamese dance troupe; and Gloria and Cam are off on a hot pepper heist carefully orchestrated by Manny in order to meet a big hot sauce delivery deadline.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “And anyways, I don't have the key ingredient the blood peppers.”
  - “We'll just go get some blood peppers.”
  - “Should I take my knife? I have my baseball bat in my car.”
  - “Kim-ly, we're punching and we're stepping.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “They are always banging on your door with a beaker full of margaritas, and The nerd noise is deafening.”

## S7 E12 — Clean for a Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0712.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Before Claire officially takes over Jay's closet business, she decides she must get the house in order and make the family clean out the clutter; unfortunately, Phil and Luke can't bear to part with anything, and Alex digs up old feelings when she finds Sanjay's sweatshirt. Newly into retirement, Jay decides to get a new hobby - piloting a plane - but the danger puts Cameron into a tailspin of worry. And elsewhere, Gloria wants to connect with Jay more and decides to pick up his favorite game of golf, and ropes Mitchell into teaching her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Is this geek foreplay? 'Cause I don't understand any of this.”
  - “‭- Happy Easter! Yeah, I-I really cannot sleep with that going on all night.”
  - “You know, a lot of girls would have tried to look sexy to show him what he's missing.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “So what? He cheated on you.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “He's no longer a big shot in the closet industry, which is apparently a thing.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I love you way more than my beer making kit Oh, honey.”

## S7 E13 — Thunk in the Trunk
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0713.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Now that Claire has been running the closet business for a while, she and Phil have fallen into a new rhythm, with Claire assuming the role of the wheeling and dealing breadwinner and Phil as the invisible housewife, but Phil will not stand for being ignored and underappreciated for long. Meanwhile, Jay lets his jealousy get the best of him when a life-size cutout of Gloria for her grocery store hot sauce display solicits all kinds of unsavory attention from men, so he enlists Manny as his accomplice in a poorly orchestrated heist. And, Cam and Mitch are being extra hospitable to get better reviews for their rental property, but when the new renters start acting undeniably suspicious, they can't help but snoop.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I mean, I get using sex to sell your hot sauce.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “So as soon as I saw them drive off in their windowless murder van, I-I ran upstairs.”
  - “quack, quack, quack, join the duck parade I want blood!”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Wilkerson on the couch? Okay, you need Help! Son of a bitch.”
  - “I bet you that I sold another -- What the hell? Somebody stole my cutout.”
  - “Stolen? Damn it! Well, there's no point in replacing it because it's just gonna get stolen again.”
  - “Manny! Uh, yes, mama? Can you please draw me a bath with those fancy bath salts that you have? Oh, I usually save those for spec-- Just draw the damn bath.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I simply invited them to a complimentary cocktail hour.”
  - “I'll get you a nice glass of wine to go with it.”
  - “Okay, now, my -- mwah! -- Big jealous man, let's go and have some wine.”

## S7 E14 — The Storm
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0714.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: A huge thunder storm brings wide power outages and the whole family congregates at Jay and Gloria's to use their generator, but Jay has one foot out the door desperately trying to make it to a reunion with some old Navy buddies. Meanwhile, Phil tries to be the hero and redeem himself after a very embarrassing public panic attack earlier, but only causes more headaches for everyone. Mitch and Cam grasp at straws trying to salvage Lily's birthday party where the most popular girl at school is in attendance, and Haley turns up the seduction efforts with Andy.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I liked you way before we ever hooked up.”
  - “Hey, sexy! What's all this? Oh, just a little something special for you and I.”
  - “You're the most confident kid I have ever met, and that is always sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 4 moment(s)
  - “What is it? Well, Manny doesn't want to go to his school trip because there is a rumor that the kids want to go skinny-dipping, and he's self-conscious about his body.”
  - “When I see Luke naked, I am going to tell him, "Luke, you have a beautiful body.”
  - “Your husband's outside half naked.”
  - “But if this whole skinny-dipping thing ever even happens, you have nothing to worry about.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just want our relationship to be as good as our affair.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Gloria, I'll be back in a couple hours! What the -- Son of a bitch! Who left the door open?! Stella! Stella! She probably got outside.”
  - “These hard drives are designed to withstand temperatures of up -- - Aaaah! - Oh, my God, it's on fire! Damn it.”
  - “Who the hell left the door open?! Not me! Nope.”
  - “Come on! A damn tree's blocking the street.”
  - “Where the hell's the chainsaw?! It's right there.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What? Would it help you to open up if I were to brush your hair? You mean in a hot way? I got us some wine.”

## S7 E15 — I Don't Know How She Does It
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0715.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire has somehow turned into super mom, running Jay's closet business and yet still has time for all the duties at home. The kids could not be happier, but Phil could not be more frustrated. Unbeknownst to him, Claire has a secret weapon called a personal assistant. Meanwhile, Joe is going through a fussy phase, and Jay and Gloria are beyond sleep deprived, so they both cut some corners that they know the other would not like and go to great lengths not to get caught. And Mitch and Cam are treated like second-class guests at their friends' wedding, which Pepper has organized, and they spend the whole time figuring why and who they offended.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's over there, where that naked girl's entertaining her school's basketball team.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I bought that churn out of a SkyMall catalog after three Bloody Marys.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “When we had money, we spent it all on drunken sailors.”
  - “You mean "like drunken sailors"? Sure.”

## S7 E16 — The Cover-Up
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0716.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Phil has a new client who happens to be "his type," and knowing that might get him in trouble with Claire, he tells some seemingly innocent lies, which then lead to more, and soon enough he's in a full spiral. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects her yoga instructor has the hots for her and asks Claire to come with her to class, but the instructor ends up giving Claire a lot of inappropriate attention, and she likes it. Now that Jay is retired, he is filling up his time making a web show but becomes obsessed with tracking down a hateful troll who is leaving horrible comments. And Mitch and Cam try to teach a skittish Lily how to ride a bike by leading by example, but easier said than done.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “He's an attractive man, and you're a very sexy woman.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Too bad you didn't fall off a stripper pole.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Or a corpse.”
  - “Now I know why Sinatra was always punching guys.”
  - “What the hell are you doing here? I'm here to punch LadyKiller in his fat face.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Another one? I've had it with this LadyKiller son of a bitch.”
  - “Greatest country on the damn planet.”
  - “What the hell? This guy again? - Who? Some meatball named "LadyKiller52" been dogging me for days.”
  - “Why the hell did I say that?! I'm sorry.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's been so overwhelming and so much You know what helps? A cocktail.”
  - “Did you? Or are they in the nightstand next to your bed because they go good with a glass of wine? [Exhales deeply, groans.]”
- Racism & slurs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I did not peg you for a racist.”
  - “You need to know that my husband is the furthest thing from a racist.”

## S7 E17 — Express Yourself
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0717.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil has the crazy idea of going on a spontaneous trip to Paris with Claire; the only problem is that they are both so ridiculously tired but try to push through it. Meanwhile, Jay has taken over their bathroom remodel, which proves to be pretty hazardous for Gloria, Manny and Joe. Cameron's sister Pam is staying at the house after her husband has left her, but her emotional outbursts are driving Mitchell crazy, and he's afraid it's setting a bad example for Lily. And Haley and Andy go on a wild night bender.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Haley, I'll give you 20 bucks to make out with Bianca.”
  - “I was hoping your sex life would come up.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Or an underwear model.”
  - “You really want Lily to think women are weak?! Get off my daddy! You're acting this crazy all over a boy?! Oh, Lily, I'm so happy to hear you say that! Now, pull Aunt Pameron's bra strap! [ All shouting, groaning .]”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Aah! I can't watch! The stress is murder on my tummy.”
  - “Au revoir, Alex! Next stop -- Paradise City! Alex: Guns n' Roses.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “" There's no vodka in a martini.”
  - “Anyone want a cocktail? - You know how to make a Manhattan? - Yes.”

## S7 E18 — The Party
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0718.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Manny and Luke are in charge of babysitting Lily so that the adults can enjoy a day to themselves. Claire and Gloria have a lovely trip to the spa planned; Phil and Mitch nerd out at the movies; and Jay and Cam go to a sports bar to watch the big fight. Things start going awry though when the fire alarm goes off back at the house, and Claire is convinced the boys are secretly throwing a party.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm the one who put a red light bulb in the laundry room to give it a sexy vibe.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “In the ring and in my bloodstream.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Get in there, you son of a bitch! Oh, yeah, baby.”
  - “What happened? Damn it! O'Brien knocked him out! Already? We missed the whole thing! We're backed up in the kitchen.”
  - “Wait a minute! What the hell is going on here, huh? [ Sniffs .]”
  - “What?! - Aw, damn it, Vic! [ Both laugh .]”
  - “What the hell does that mean? Oh, God.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “I don't know why, but I've never tried marijuana.”
  - “I was so drunk, I thought they were stoned.”
  - “A few weeks ago, we caught him with beer.”
  - “Manny hates beer.”

## S7 E19 — Man Shouldn't Lie
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0719.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire brings home a stray dog and gets the kids to help her hide it from Phil while she tries to find its owner. Unfortunately, her evasive behavior only makes Phil try even harder to shower her with more attention. Elsewhere, Gloria invites a new couple over even after Jay has made it clear he doesn't want to make any new friends, but when the husband turns out to be a real guy's guy, Jay might be eating crow. And Cameron rents out their upstairs apartment to a Christian rock band.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “…another man The Jesus I know loves everyone Even if you're gay or straight Doesn't matter about your sexuality-y-y [ Guitars stop .]”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Same underwear? What underwear? [ Telephone ringing .]”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I met her at the PTA lunch, and she's the only woman in the anti-bullying campaign that I don't want to punch in the face.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's gone from itchin' to bitchin'.”
  - “Okay, the guy wasn't all bad, but I couldn't let Gloria know or it would open the door for a whole bunch of new things I don't want to do -- Trendy restaurants, movies about how women feel about crap.”
  - “I'm just saying that maybe, before you join the French resistance, you walk the 15 feet to your neighbor's house and ask her did she get your damn love letter.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Good! Good! So, you guys are a Christian rock band? Water to Wine.”
  - “What's this? If the mood strikes you, why don't you join us onstage, make some joyful noise? Man: Ladies and gentlemen, Water to Wine! [ Cheers and applause .]”

## S7 E20 — Promposal
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0720.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: With Closet-Con right around the corner, Claire is on high alert and convinced there is a mole in the company. Meanwhile, Phil goes vigilante when he and Gloria confront Auntie Alice for stealing her hot sauce recipe. Jay tries to teach Joe how to do some manly handy work, and with prom coming up, Mitch helps Luke with his "promposal" while Cam helps with Manny's, but Cam goes a little overboard, revealing that there maybe something deeper going on.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “She wanted a traditional prom night with a guy she could lose her virginity to.”
  - “You know -- not sexy, but -- No, Dad.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Pull 'em up high to your nipples.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “What about Luke's promposal? Well, your husband, who couldn't plan anything romantic with a gun to his head, may have pulled off two promposals at once.”
  - “You want to come back to work? I miss it, okay? You know how it is when you have closets in your blood.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I am so sorry, Phil, that I wasted your whole day, but I am more sorry of what I'm gonna do to your car! Gloria, we're above that.”

## S7 E21 — Crazy Train
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0721.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Dede is getting remarried, and Manny convinces the family to take the train up to the wedding. Jay could not be more ecstatic that Dede has moved on for good but his overenthusiasm might come back and bite him later. Claire and Mitchell work on their toast while Phil and Cam geek out over their favorite author, who is also on the train. Luke and Manny go a little girl crazy; Gloria gets stuck in coach; and Alex gets caught up in the romance of the train herself.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “" The world has been waiting for the final book of the trilogy for almost, what, 10 years? I missed it so much, I took a stab at writing fan fiction.”
  - “That by any chance isn't the -- the next Silverton novel, is it? You mean "Locomotive for Murder"? Crackerjack.”
  - “Well, if that's true, then the murder isn't possible.”
  - “What if we proved it could happen? Maybe there's another way for the murderer to get to the caboose and back.”
  - “We needed to prove that the crime was feasible, so I would play the role of engineer/murderer.”
  - “Jay Pritchett, I am going to strangle you! I don't know why you're pretending that you don't know me, but I'm sure it's for some stupid and selfish reason! She really is your wife? For now.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “There's a wine-and-cheese reception.”

## S7 E22 — Double Click
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0722.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire can't seem to find the right time to fire one of her employees, while, back at home, Phil thinks he caught Luke with a girl in his bed, and no one seems to notice that Alex has moved back home for the summer. Jay refuses to accept that it might be harder to reenter the workforce than he thought, and Cameron and Mitch butt heads on how to share time with Lily now that Cameron took a summer job in Kansas City.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, as long as he's sleeping with that thing, it's the only action he's gettin'.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's dark, and we shared an entire bottle of wine.”

## S8 E1 — 1. The Tale of Three Cities
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0801.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After recent trips take the Dunphys to New York; Mitch, Cam andLily to the Midwest; and Jay,Gloria, Manny and Joe to Juarez, Mexico; the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan reunites.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I love my sexy little closet nerd.”
  - “The people next door kept me up all night with their sex noises.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God! Is this you naked?! What? Why? Honey, will you send my dad a picture of that closet before I forget? [Clears throat.]”
  - “I've got one son who's a kleptomaniac, the other who's in love with his own aunt -- creepy even by your standards -- and a daughter who I was forced to see naked as the day she was born.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Says the murderer.”
  - “They were murdered from behind? The three things I want you to pay attention to are bouquet, texture, and finish.”
  - “Is this blood sausage? Because mine's pink.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, that's good! Hola, Jay.”
  - “You wait till the last minute, you wind up eating chicken and apple, like some damn hippie.”
  - “Let go, Grams! What the hell are you telling her? [Flatline.]”
  - “Taxi! - Damn it! It's already taken! Okay, so I think I got us on a flight through Denver.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “My eyes are but lifeless orbs compared to -- Yeah, go get me a beer.”

## S8 E2 — 2. A Stereotypical Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0802.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: A new family moves in across the street from the Pritchetts and Jay wants to make a good impression. Meanwhile, Manny hopes his deeds will catch the attention of a pretty teenage radical; the Dunphys try to look on the bright side of Alex's bout with mono; and Mitch and Cam are shocked to overhear Lily disrespect a new friend.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “(whimpers) It was hard for us to hear, but in the spirit of tolerance, we accepted the fact that a 9-year-old might not want to fall asleep under the watchful eyes of her half-naked fathers.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Pretty much, the only time I'm happy is when I clean my gun.”
  - “You know -- beakers, calculators, ray guns.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “…we are air-conditioning the outside and insist on rotting their brains by watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other.”
- Racism & slurs — 4 moment(s)
  - “But they'll think I made the call the minute I saw them because I'm a racist old man.”
  - “Why would the neighbors just assume that you're a racist? Gloria, Gloria, Gloria.”
  - “They're getting along great, and then one little spat, and her instinct is to go all baby bigot on him? Well -- and I say this with love -- she did just get back from spending a full summer with your family in Missouri.”
  - “Well, that's interesting, because the minute it took me to accept the fact that my son was living a different kind of life than the one that I anticipated, Mitchell called me an old, straight, white bigot.”

## S8 E3 — 3. Blindsided
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0803.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Luke and Manny go head-to-head in a race to be class president, but the campaign might be more of a battle between their parents. Meanwhile, Phil introduces Haley to a marketing genius to help with her promotion business; and Cam goes to extremes to keep his best football player from leaving the school.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Me either -- not very sexy.”
- Violence & injury — 6 moment(s)
  - “I'm so glad you like the house! Hey, so a few things -- One, all the appliances are included, two, the previous residents were murdered there, and three, it just passed mold inspection.”
  - “You're gonna sell that murder house.”
  - “"Ahh, Get this blood off me!" What? Wh-- Off who? [Marker scribbles.]”
  - “Hey, Jay, do you need to julienne any vegetables? - What? - If so, you can use the knife your grandson jammed in my back.”
  - “I'm running on a gun platform.”
  - “What are you talking about? I'm talking about my guns.”

## S8 E4 — 4. Weathering Heights
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0804.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil can't cover up his excitement when he's invited to appear in a real-estate news segment for the local news. The day gets even better after meeting his "weatherman" hero, Rainer Shine. Phil made one little mistake; he introduced him to Hayley. Over at the Pritchett house, Jay decides to infuse a little grit into Manny's video interview for his college application. In the Tucker-Pritchett home, Lily is over their new houseguest and decides to take matters into her own hands.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “I think I took a stab at finishing your video essay.”
  - “Under a Mozart fugue, we suddenly see a drop of blood.”
  - “I have never beaten her.”
  - “I thought I could finally beat her because she's sick.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “This might be kind weird, but would you ever want to grab a beer? Sure.”
  - “Three years ago, they gave me an "absolutely anything," and I wasted it on a Popsicle.”

## S8 E5 — 5. Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0805.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Luke's Halloween party isn't the monster bash he dreamed of and is at risk of having the worst party of the year. Sensing trouble, the rest of the Dunphy's realize all his party needs is a visit from Rod Skyhook, a little promotion and some adult supervision to get it started. Meanwhile at the Tucker-Pritchett home, faces off with Cam his Halloween nemesis while Lily and Mitchell try to save the day and work to keep him from going to the darkside. Finally, when Jay finds out that Manny is going to a party at the home of an old enemy, he enlists him to deliver a trick he will never forget.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “My cousin Gomez skipped my other cousin Gomez's party, and my cousin Gomez felt completely stabbed in the back.”
  - “How much candy do we have to hand out before I go trick-or-treating? Can't I just take a knife and go by myself? No! No one would mess with me.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “It's gonna drive that son of a bitch crazy.”
  - “Hey, you know what the Beaver said when he slipped in water? - Damn it? - Damn it.”
  - “That bastard stole my closet company right out from under me! No, no, no, no, no.”
  - “Don't say the word "bastard" when you're dressed like Jesus! And you -- never turn your back on family.”
  - “My husband is going to hell and he's trying to take us with him.”
  - “You're lying again! Manny, don't stand next to him! Pritchett! - Ay! - Aah! Look what you did! What the hell do you think you're doing? We're just leaving, Earl! That Soul is mine.”
  - “How come you never tell me I'm beautiful anymore? - Oh! - Mitchell: Damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “He's never more than two glasses of wine away from treating us all to an impromptu concert.”
  - “Let's just say he got drunk after a symposium last year and asked me to wheel him home.”
  - “Is that a beer? It's not mine.”
  - “Is that the same year your uncle got drunk and planted marbles?”

## S8 E6 — 6. Grab It
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0806.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 3/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Jay's favorite place in the world, and only refuge, may be losing some of its charm when Phil considers becoming a member. At the Dunphy house, Claire mistakes her influence on Alex's life choices, and Haley cares too much about what Alex thinks about hers. Meanwhile, when Cam doesn't give Mitchell the full story on what his play is really about, it really puts Mitchell in the spotlight.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Fortunately, clueless boobs are one group the Supreme Court can't force us to let in.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “'Cause I'm a stripper, Alex.”
  - “Oh, my God, do you really think I'm a stripper? - No.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's interactive? You son of a bitch.”
  - “Who?! Who?! Ay, what the hell are you doing here? I had the most humiliating experience of my entire life.”
  - “You're leaving me here?! - No, I can't have you at this club! This is my place, damn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I just want a wine bath and to go to sleep.”
- Fat-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “For God's sake, there's the club chair Fatty Arbuckle anxiously awaited his verdict.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You trampoline? I'm on my tramp like three nights a week! [Chuckles.]”

## S8 E7 — 7. Thanksgiving Jamboree
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0807.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: It's going to be a Thanksgiving jamboree at the Pritchett-Tucker home this year, and Cameron has spared no expense. While Phil tries to get used to Rainer Shine dating his daughter, Haley has to break it to her dad that she would rather spend the rest of her holiday with her new boyfriend than staying for the traditional family football game. Meanwhile, Jay has to figure out a way to keep his blood pressure down on one of the most stressful days of the year, as Gloria tries to show Joe that animals are our friends. Finally, Alex and Dwight get to know each other a little better than her Uncle Cam would like, while Mitchell has to stop clowning around and tell Cam the truth.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I bet he's here to buy some extra-small condoms, the kind that they keep behind the counter.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “But not from the nude beach.”
  - “Ooh! Oh, that's funny 'cause it's my naked daughter! [ Voice breaking .]”
  - “What's your game? - Yeah, show us your underwear.”
- Affairs / cheating — 2 moment(s)
  - “Maybe he's the one who's having an affair.”
  - “Has he joined a gym or bought sexy new underwear recently? I think it's sweet that you think we're capable of having an affair, but we're just so tired.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “This reminds me of the time I walked in on you watching "Top Gun".”
  - “I'm gonna beat him with this orthopedic shoe.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Who here likes goat? Hello, you son of a bitch.”
  - “Hurt like hell, but once the skin regenerates, it's gonna take ten years off these money makers.”
  - “That bastard was my ex's lawyer.”
  - “Ohh! Ah, hell, I'm gonna regret this.”
  - “Damn it, why do you have to be so sweet? Now I feel guilty.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “I am loving this country theme! This reminds me of when I worked for Newscenter Twelve in Tulsa, except no one here's bitter and drunk.”
  - “I wouldn't salt those margarita glasses just yet.”
  - “Oh, I saw some champagne back there.”
  - “Phil, get me a beer.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, well, Clark's head of the math club, and Tina's turned into a bit of a slut.”

## S8 E8 — 8. The Alliance
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0808.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Hayley's plan for a fun-filled girl's day with Rainer Shine's teen daughter may be a little more angst-filled than expected. Meanwhile, Luke finds himself in a compromising position with a widow at the club and unwittingly helps his grandpa, Jay, with his petition. At the Pritchett-Tucker home, Gloria, Phil and Cam have formed a secret alliance to ensure their respective "mistakes" are concealed from their spouses. However, their diabolical plan may be derailed when Mitchell starts suspecting something just isn't right.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “The suspicions, the accusations, the mechanical sexual performance Where has Mitchell gone? Yeah, I'm but I'm not a doctor, so if you think something's going on upstairs, by all means, let's go take a look.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Also, you you can lose the makeup because you look like a prostitute at an electronics convention.”
  - “Maybe I shouldn't have called her a prostitute? You gotta have fun with it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “this morning, but can you go back and grab some wine for tonight? You got it.”
  - “Red wine? - Oh, thanks.”

## S8 E9 — 9. Snow Ball
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0809.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Manny and Luke put on the school's lavish winter dance and end up over their heads due to a texting error, it is up to them to fix it before the end of the night. Meanwhile, Gloria, Claire, Mitchell and Cam all volunteer at the dance while Jay's thinly veiled guise to get out of it by pretending to want to spend time with Phil backfires. During the dance, Claire and Gloria attempt to set up Marjorie ("Saturday Night Live"'s Vanessa Bayer), an overbearing mom, with the school's principal. Finally, Mitchell is unnerved to be back in high school and is shocked to see a lot of himself in the school bully and feels he needs a little guidance.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “She's like a sexy, sexy drugstore.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “With your help, we can save him from getting beaten up.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I hope this punch isn't as watered down as your performance in "A Streetcar Named Desire to Hang Myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “How about a bar? - So, we drive across town, pay a 200% markup on the same glass of scotch I'm holding in my hand right now just so some drunken old broad can stagger over and tell me I look like Ernest Borgnine.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Stop implying I'm a racist.”

## S8 E10 — Ringmaster Keifth
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0810.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Trying to recover from his Thanksgiving debacle, Cam decides to treat the family to a New Year's Day feast. After realizing that Cam's recent attempt is also a complete fail and in order to salvage their meal, Mitch uses a "concierge gift card" that he received as a Christmas gift. Cam soon discovers that the concierge who is on his way to save the day is none other than his ex-boyfriend, Keifth, a former circus ringmaster who left him without saying goodbye. Meanwhile, Phil's dad, Frank arrives with his new girlfriend, who happens to be Phil's childhood babysitter, which sets him on a confusing tailspin. Finally, Gloria and Jay have to decide who should take care of little Joe if something should ever happen to them.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “10% to whatever is sexy at the time we die like, um, orphans or whatever.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, he's asking who's gonna take care of her, not how much money you're gonna leave to a murderer.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Nothing like a frozen margarita in a hot tub.”

## S8 E11 — Sarge & Pea
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0811.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cam is incensed that an anonymous and rude parent robbed him of a precious Lily moment during her recent dance recital. While he and Hayley visit Alex at her coffee shop the next day, he thinks he recognizes the culprit and goes to extremes to uncover her identity, and give her a piece of his mind. Meanwhile, Jay, Claire and Mitch attend a family wedding and unexpectedly run into Dede at the reception. Afraid their parents are going to once again make a scene, Mitch and Claire devise a plan to keep them apart. Finally, Phil and Gloria are on a college tour with Luke and Manny, and have very different ways of getting the boys ready to head out on this new adventure and also learning to let go.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “A cutie named Gretchen took me up to her belfry and showed me some moves, which I now realize sounds sexual.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “So, 1986, we were just coming back from my sister Bebe's wedding when I first had my dream about murdering you.”
  - “But my dream analyst helped me realize that I never wanted to murder you.”
  - “I wanted to murder the part of myself that was so angry.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch! That is coconuts! I remember you! Do you miss spokesmodeling? Aye, I do a boat show every now and then.”
  - “The reason we were late was because of that damn Hands Across America that you made me do.”
  - “What the hell was that whole thing about, anyway? Hunger? Hand somebody a sandwich in San Francisco and you pass it on down the line till some bum gets ahold of it in Boston? Hunger, yeah.”
  - “Oh! (both chuckle) What fresh hell is this? We'll end our tour here at our iconic bell tower.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “It's a wine fridge 36 bottles, stainless steel, dual temp zones for your whites, your reds.”
  - “" Well, we'll see what her boy Brian says when he opens what Esquire Magazine called "the last under-counter wine fridge you'll ever need.”
  - “Would anyone care for some champagne? - Oh, yeah.”

## S8 E12 — Do You Believe in Magic
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0812.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Fearful that the romance between him and Claire is fizzling, Phil calls upon his altar ego, Clive Bixby, get Valentines day back on track. Meanwhile, much to Gloria's chagrin, Jay shows a bit of child favoritism when he and Gloria must deal with Joe's inappropriate Valentine gift-giving and Manny's dating indecisiveness. When Cam and Mitch try to empower Lily, Haley and Sal to stand up to the men in their lives, things don't turn out as planned and go overboard. Finally, Alex discovers she has a secret admirer who may be a little too involved with family.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “We may not hook up with women, but we really understand women.”
  - “He texts me every Valentine's Day begging to hook up.”
  - “Okay, that was very cool, but you should know that I have dedicated my life to closets, I am obsessed with your grandfather, and I sleep with a body pillow that I put a nightgown on.”
  - “I come from a very long line of overly sexy men.”
  - “My cousin Ricardo, he had a sex addition.”
  - “For the past several Valentine's, we've adopted sexy alter egos Juliana, wild and spontaneous, and Clive, passionate collector of beautiful women and antique sailing maps.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “And no more giving underwear to little girls, or anyone else, 'cause it's creepy and European.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “I knew I shouldn't have trusted you talking to him, because you will let him get away with murder because he's a mini you and you like it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “If you don't come home smelling of light beer and chlorine, do not come home at all.”
  - “But around her third beer, I suggested she have some water to stay hydrated.”

## S8 E13 — Do It Yourself
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0813.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Feeling empowered after his successful do-it-yourself project, Phil convinces Jay to co-invest in a property he has always wanted to develop. Meanwhile, Claire's new obsession with a TV chef and her new love of cooking Sunday dinners hasn't been as tasty as she thinks. Haley is the family's only hope to add a little spice to the situation. At the Pritchett-Tucker house, Cam and Mitchell see that the family is too reliant on technology, so they attempt to teach Lily the importance of hard work, which ends disastrously. Back at the Pritchett's, Jay feels replaced when he sees Gloria has hired Coach Gary (Payton Manning) to coach Joe and serve as a handy man
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're ruining sex for me.”
  - “Why? What happened? I'm not the man you thought you had middle-of-the-day sex with.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “If you think you took his knife He's got another one.”

## S8 E14 — Heavy Is the Head
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0814.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Despite their lofty hopes, Phil and Jay's property investment might turn out to be a bust, forcing Phil to rethink his original dream. Meanwhile, Cam lands in the hospital due to a head injury and refuses to have an MRI thanks to a traumatic incident with a well when he was a child. Determined to finally impress Claire and keep her from re-gifting her birthday present, Gloria surprises her with a day of luxury at the office. However, after Claire had to implement some rather harsh budget cuts at work, a massage at her desk may not be sending the right message
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “" "It's sexy when a man cries.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, I know this guy dies, there's lots of boobs, and I want to say a spaceship? This will go a lot faster if you don't talk.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “This woman never punches out.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, yay, champagne.”
  - “A day when you've been sipping champagne while we've gone over an hour without snacks.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Do you know what I went through in that well on October 14, 1987, while the whole world was focused on that media whore Jessica? - She was a baby, but yeah.”

## S8 E15 — Finding Fizbo
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0815.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Cam is enraged when he receives an online video showing someone has been desecrating his beloved Fizbo costume, which sets him on a quest to restore Fizbo's good name. Meanwhile, Phil is in for quite the surprise when he finally meets his new soon-to-be step-brother at Frank's bachelor party. Finally, Manny's newest play hits a little too close to home for Gloria, Claire and Haley when he enlists them to do a read through before he submits it to a young playwright festival.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know you've been like this your whole life ashamed of the romantic, sexual part of you.”
  - “Well, if by "chummy," you mean, "in the throes of an electric sexual relationship," then, yes, you bet your bowling balls we're chummy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Sneaking off with your phone, the clean hair, your one bra that fits properly spill.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Come on! You on the other hand you throw one more gutter ball, and I will literally frame you for murder.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 6 moment(s)
  - “That's why Boom! Chicken wraps, white wine, fudge.”
  - “I guess you didn't see the white wine and fudge.”
  - “It smells like beer and cheese fires.”
  - “Pit boss sent some shrimp cocktails over to our craps table.”
  - “Along with some regular cocktails, am I right? Yeah! [Both laugh.]”
  - “You go missing, then you mysteriously hurt your hand, and t Okay, okay there is lipstick in this mask, and it is it is the same shade as the lipstick on your beer.”

## S8 E16 — Basketball
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0816.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After choking at last year's charity basketball game, Phil has been training all year to redeem himself. However, when NBA stars Charles Barkley and DeAndre Jordan attend the game and start making bets, Phil tries to not buckle under the pressure. Meanwhile, Gloria has to step-up at Manny's school when her nemesis, Donna Duncan, tries to shame her for her lack of support at the school. Finally, Claire does whatever it takes to keep a work mistake secret from Jay, while Jay's concerned that Joe doesn't have a healthy fear of him at all.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Am I really ready to see gunk coming out of his ear? I mean, like, what if he stops being sexy? Well, it is intimacy like that that separates casual dating from something more serious.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I feel so naked right now.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Well, I couldn't let Dad know I bought murder wood, so I sent Ben to get a replacement fish from the tank in the lobby.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch made it.”
  - “(sneezes) The hell's the matter with him? - He's got allergies.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, they're very popular amongst rappers 'cause they do equally well in Jacuzzis and champagne.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm sorry if that sounds racist.”

## S8 E17 — Pig Moon Rising
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0817.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: During a quick workout session in the garage, Mitchell accidentally knocks over an urn filled with the ashes of Cam's beloved pet pig Lilly. He quickly attempts to cover up his blunder and devises an appropriate cover-up. Hoping to catch Mitchell in his lie, Cam makes up a tall tale to trap him, but his own lie soon becomes a little too big to manage.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Joe, this is exactly why we're not giving you a knife until you turn 6 years old.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Wait, Officer no! My car is only here because I was being responsible! I was babysitting my uncle Joe and got too drunk to drive home! [Grunts.]”

## S8 E18 — Five Minutes
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0818.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: A look at 300 seconds in the lives of the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan includes Mitch and Cam hurrying to catch a flight for which they prematurely took sleeping pills; Haley and Rainer reevaluating their relationship at dinner before his birthday cake arrives; Phil and Claire meeting Alex's new boyfriend; and Manny trying to find a parking spot at the movies while Jay and Gloria argue.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “You're drinking? Wine helps me sleep sometimes.”
  - “You're drinking wine in your bathrobe with a come-from-nowhere cat.”
  - “Ooh, should we order some champagne to celebrate? I can't believe my forecast was wrong.”

## S8 E19 — Frank's Wedding
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0819.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Frank Dunphy's wedding has a Roaring '20s theme, so Phil gets his clan to show up in costume, but Claire and the kids realize it's time for an intervention with Phil when they're the only ones who dressed up. Meanwhile, Jay comes to regret mastering the art of saying "no"; and Cam finally gets the courage to stand up to his sister Pam.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm wearing wool underwear.”
  - “Would you mind going through my luggage and pulling out my after-dinner bra? - If I must.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “You didn't feel like dressing up, too? What do you say those pretty peepers of yours never saw the famous gangster Phillinger and his ex-prostitute getaway driver? I think a, uh a sawbuck should do the That's too much.”
- Violence & injury — 5 moment(s)
  - “Get this mid-ceremony, you know, when you ask - if anyone has any objections? - Yeah? I'm gonna pull out a Tommy gun and tell you to skip that part.”
  - “I got a script, prop guns, exploding paint capsules.”
  - “What's that? - (siren wailing in distance) A bag of plastic guns.”
  - “"For man can no more survive without love "than a cooper without his billhook, "nor a whaler less his flensing knife.”
  - “The family didn't want me to get back together with Beau on account of he's six-parts Chicopee and married, but I did it anyway, and now he's in County for punching a police horse in the face.”

## S8 E20 — All Things Being Equal
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0820.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Gloria, Claire, Hayley, Alex, Lily, Luke and Manny are equally committed to showing their support for gender equality and the women's movement, and do it in very different ways. Meanwhile, Jay and Phil are at odds on how their parking lot attendant should be running their lot, and jealousy ensues when Pam prefers Mitchell's help over Cam's with her baby.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “And you were watching, you horny toad? Pam, let's calm down.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “(whirring stops) What? I think it's great that she's asking you to help out with baby Cal instead of his own flesh and blood.”
  - “Well, cars are in my blood.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! It's history.”
  - “(engine revs) (tires squeal) She's probably just making sure it works, right? So that bitch stole my car.”
  - “Damn straight! I'm sorry.”
  - “Yep! - Getting cremated! - Damn it! Okay, here's another one my head, we use our nest egg for a beach condo.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “And you were right I stayed away from mixers and I'm not hungover! See?! You can't lose if it's nothing but booze.”

## S8 E21 — Alone Time
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0821.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitch and Jay separately seek out a much-needed retreat from their families, and end up at the same resort. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire can't seem to enjoy the empty-nester life, and Cam, not knowing what to do with himself while Mitch is away, drops in on Gloria's to lend a hand.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's a buddy thing! - Oh, please! Buddies don't find that many opportunities to skinny-dip together.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Sweet Caligula, that's a lot of blood.”
  - “Now comes the blood-loss migraine.”
  - “Maybe next week you could teach me how to street punch? Yeah.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Help yourself to a glass of wine, my love.”
  - “You could split the fish and steak and share the bottle of wine.”

## S8 E22 — The Graduates
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0822.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Manny's father, Javier, shows up for his graduation and takes him out on a wild night of celebration. Meanwhile, the Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan gets ready for Luke and Manny's big day and deals with the emotions that come with seeing kids grow up and leave the nest.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Showing emotion is part of being a sexy modern man.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 3 moment(s)
  - Stripper or strip-club material shows up in the plot.
  - “Maybe they're at that strip club you went to last night.”
  - “I saw the pictures that he texted Luke from the strip club.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “" My school had an award like that, but instead of a sash, that kid got a punch in the mouth.”
  - “Why do all your stories involve a punch in the face, a shifty European, or a broad who's been around the block? That reminds me of when I had to rough up this Italian kid because he didn't want me dating his sister.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “" Manny and I were gonna grill some steaks and drink some, um, beers.”
  - “Booze or burgers? - Booze.”
  - “(chuckles) Gloria: Do I hear my Manny?! When you're hungover, it's like a car alarm.”
  - “It's like when you drink too much and your friends get you super-wasted so you never drink again for the rest of the week.”
  - “You know, I'm still kind of hungover.”

## S9 E1 — 1. Lake Life
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0901.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In the season premiere, Jay forces the family to take their family vacation on a houseboat on a lake in an effort to create memories that will last long after he's gone. Meanwhile, Mitchell runs into an old flame that opens some old wounds; Cam has to stay out of the sun at all costs; Phil and Claire try out some adventureous excursions; and the kids' quest for a good time may not be as fun as they expected.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hey, sexy! Party on the island! Come by! Yum! [GROWLS.]”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, yeah, Cam, I would love to help you The same way you helped me fall into that filthy lake! Hey, kids! Watch out for the naked man! What? Good luck.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Son of a gun.”

## S9 E2 — 2. The Long Goodbye
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0902.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire realize that Alex may be more self-sufficient in college than they give her credit for when they drop in for a quick visit. Meanwhile, Manny is determined to avoid a long tearful goodbye after Gloria and Jay move him into his college dorm. Finally, Mitch may have accidentally accelerated a planned renovation, and Hayley gets an unexpected opportunity when she befriends a wealthy female member at the country club.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Gun to my head, my top three: cheddar, Swiss, gouda.”
  - “As someone who has actually had a gun to her head, cheese is not what they're going to ask about.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “(GOLF CART BEEPING) (TIRES SCREECH) Cocktails, boys? (BELL DINGING) On your left.”
  - “It's the only nonsurgical way to prevent champagne chin.”
  - “If it helps, he always orders from the HeartSmart side of my cocktail menu.”

## S9 E3 — 3. Catch of the Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0903.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil's convinced he is going to have a day of bad luck after failing to successfully complete his daily superstition. However, Claire is eager to make it to a concert and has no time for his silly notion. Meanwhile, Mitch is certain that Cam is undermining him during their kitchen renovation, and Jay is determined to get Gloria to admit she was in a car accident.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “or I agreed to have sex with all three women who asked me.”
  - “Okay, you're a phone-sex operator? My real-person modeling gigs haven't been paying the bills.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Every morning, before I shower, I kick off my underwear.”
  - “I know that sounds crazy, but it's an old family ritual my grandfather did until the day he died a day you guessed it that he dropped his underwear.”
  - “Are you, uh Are you not wearing a bra? - Eh.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Phil, would you cut and toast those bagels? With the knife? Sweetie, here are the spare keys.”
  - “He's still moving! Machine-gun him! Just hit as fast as you can! Dear God! He's got me dialed in! HALEY: Oh, morning, guys.”
  - “Bo is Pam's baby daddy currently incarcerated back in Grasshopper, Missouri, for punching a police horse.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Fine, but you are driving home, because today, I'm reelin' in the wine.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “He really shot up, huh? - (CELLPHONE DINGING, CHIMING) Anyway, in the weeks to come, - try and remember that, uh - (CELLPHONE DINGING, CHIMING) Wh That skank No way!”

## S9 E4 — 4. Sex Lies Kickball
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0904.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 4/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Jay's best friend, Shorty, is back from Costa Rica and stays at the house so they can catch up and reconnect. However, Shorty is spending more time with Gloria and seems to be avoiding Jay. Meanwhile, Alex is ready to shed her good-girl image and is going to prove to Claire that her relationship with Ben is definitely a sexual relationship.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Sex painting on the wall means Alex was in her head.”
  - “And I'm sorry I left the sex painting for you to find.”
- Swearing — 8 moment(s)
  - “This is when you sound racist! You come to town and you don't tell me? I ought to punch you in the neck, you son of a bitch.”
  - “You son of a bitch! - You're from Lubbock, Texas.”
  - “Oh, crap, it's Alex.”
  - “He pisses me off so much! Come on! Let's do this! This doesn't feel like it's about me.”
  - “What the hell? You're right.”
  - “I'm a damn fraud.”
  - “But you said, "Don't come crying to me" But you said, "Don't come crying to me" when it all turns to hell when it all turns to hell "and I have to pick up the pieces.”
  - “And you're my best friend, damn it.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “This is when you sound racist! You come to town and you don't tell me? I ought to punch you in the neck, you son of a bitch.”

## S9 E5 — 5. It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0905.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil and Claire still want to celebrate Halloween in a big way, but it seems no one shares their same enthusiasm making them wonder if maybe everyone is right. Over at the Pritchett's, Mitch and Cam are frustrated by how long Jay is taking to finish their kitchen remodel, which forces Mitch to finally stand up to his dad. Meanwhile, Gloria's hospitality is wearing thin when Cam oversteps his boundaries as a house guest.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “And tonight, we were gonna take things to the next level, which is, you know, sex.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “You cheated on me?! We were drunk, okay? And she was really upset 'cause she had to drop her daughter off at college.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Only I swapped out silly string for broad swords and laughter for murder.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch! You were with Carla! I knew there was one perfect thing I could say to save it.”
  - “This is the proudest damn moment of my life.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “…Oh, what, you're too old for a little scare? The scariest thing is you could be a cheap pick-up line, two beers, and nine months away from being a grandparent, and you just risked asphyxiation in the fridge.”
  - “I'd like to think that drinking beer makes my hair grow back, but life ain't fair.”
  - “You suck! To think I wasted so much time on such a weepy, clingy, Pez-eating snore! I can't believe I sat there and pretended to be a doll as you brushed my hair! [CROWD MURMURING.]”

## S9 E6 — 6. Ten Years Later
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0906.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: Claire is determined to make up for her less-than-joyful mood at Jay and Gloria's wedding by throwing their tenth-anniversary party. As part of the festivities, Phil is going to perform a magic trick featuring Gloria appearing out of thin air in her wedding dress; that is if Gloria can still get into it!
Watch for: nothing flagged.

## S9 E7 — 7. Winner Winner Turkey Dinner
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0907.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: During Jay's Thanksgiving toast, he honors the entire family on their recent successes, even though everyone knows that isn't quite true. As everyone desperately tries to hide the facts about their perceived triumphs, Phil works hard to master a classic magic trick and prove he's not the family failure.
Watch for:
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, she did it! See that, people? Another person doing their best, thanks to me.”
  - “: Those dumb bastards are going to be thinking pass, which is why we're going to run.”
  - “Damn it! - You fought.”
  - “Oh, my God! - What What Holy crap, where'd he go?! Private Ranzetti reporting Operation Overlord is a success.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh! - Wow! Cocktails are on me.”

## S9 E8 — 8. Brushes with Celebrity
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0908.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan recount all their biggest celebrity encounters. Phil shows a house to his musical hero and is determined to make a good impression despite the intense pain radiating from a very inconvenient part of his body. Meanwhile, Jay's day at jury duty takes an unexpected turn when he gets to serve it alongside one of America's biggest football icons. Finally, Manny's encounter with his favorite playwright and a celebrated actor and comedian don't go exactly as you'd expect.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Everyone wants to say "hi" or they want to take a picture or they want to sleep with me.”
  - “Can I help you guys? - Yeah, how about an explanation? Why aren't you picking us for your show? Yeah, what are we not sexy enough?”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'm not here to collect panties with phone numbers on them.”
  - “The network fired me - Why? - ­ when they found out that I had this website where people paid to watch me build stuff naked.”
  - “Is that so? - How naked? - Very.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “You know what? Let's go show him our delightful brand of bitchy friction.”
  - “Who? He wrote "The Forgetters and the Forgotten"? "Farce, American Style"? "Screw You For Reading This"? What the hell is happening? Yes, that one, too! He's my favorite playwright.”

## S9 E9 — 9. Tough Love
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0909.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: After leaving his real estate firm to strike out on his own, Phil decides a solo camping trip in the wild will be just what he needs to boost his confidence. Meanwhile, Mitchell's plan to teach Cam a lesson in gullibility and Lily a lesson in responsibility backfires.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Joe is sleeping in a fort downstairs, and Manny's upstairs sleeping with a doctor.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “I have two weeks worth of food, water purifiers a flare gun.”
  - “I'm not gonna shoot off a flare gun in the house.”
  - “Meanwhile, uh, I am sending you a pic of me enjoying nature at my last known location in my very identifiable red Gore-Tex jacket.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “So, Shane not a 16-year-old drug dealer who enjoys humiliating you but a baby-faced police officer, has deputized you, and your first…”
  - “Hey, Lily, the library is saying that "Stripey the Zebracorn" is two months overdue? What what's that about? We have a new librarian, and she's a little She's been drunk e-mailing a lot.”
  - “Have more wine.”
  - “I'll go get some more wine.”

## S9 E10 — No Small Feet
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0910.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When Claire lands a big opportunity for Pritchett's Closets, Jay expects a little validation for his contribution; and Pam's ex-boyfriend Bo shows up and Mitchell sees this as the perfect opportunity to get Pam out of the house. Meanwhile, Luke and Alex stumble upon a successful online business that finally gets them on their Fee.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “" - Sexy, right? - No.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Is there something you're not telling me about this house? I am kind of getting a murdery vibe.”
  - “…sister, you would've been here the moment baby Calhoun was born! I know, but when I got out of jail for punching that police horse, I discovered my truck had been towed.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “Son of a bitch, we did it! We did it! Manny, I appreciate you coming from college for this moment.”
  - “Hey! You did it, you bastard! - [APPLAUSE.]”
  - “Yeah, he's here to take Pam and the baby home! I mean, how great is that? BO: Cameron Tucker! Get the hell out of my house.”
  - “Hell, you're my family.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “It's the brand of whiskey he drinks.”
  - “I am so drunk.”

## S9 E11 — He Said She Shed
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0911.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Claire's request to build a "She Shed" in their backyard is denied by the homeowners association and only Luke and Phil know the real reason why. Meanwhile Pameron lets Cam in on a family secret that forces him to visit Mitch's therapist to work through this new information.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
  - “Speaking of which, why is nobody sounding the alarm over Gary's avant-garde mailbox? - It's a penis, Gary.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “She's got a gun! It's a letter, Lisa A rejection letter on HOA stationery.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, so a glass of wine and a cigarette in the tub isn't cutting it anymore? I don't smoke, honey.”

## S9 E12 — Dear Beloved Family
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0912.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: "Modern Family" celebrates its milestone 200th episode!Gloria has to rush Phil to the hospital for an emergency surgery after he experiences some intense stomach pains and rallies the entire family to be by his side.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Even with inside-out wearings, I'd be out of underwear in three weeks.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't want some hungover freshman from Swarthmore getting his hands all over me.”
  - “I'll grab some wine and you can meet me in the bedroom.”

## S9 E13 — In Your Head
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0913.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Luke goes missing after a night out in a sketchy neighborhood, Manny, Phil and Gloria team up to track him down. Meanwhile, Haley is desperate to land an interview with the creator of a popular lifestyle website and interrupts Alex during one of her college classes. Alex's professor, Arvin Fennerman, then proceeds to try and give Haley a piece of his mind.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Um when a Dunphy man sees a sexy skirt, he's just gotta get in it.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “There's your smoking gun.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “Mitchell! Look! Our crazy-expensive bottle of wine? I uh, we were saving this for the perfect occasion.”
  - “Who does that? Just drinks somebody's most expensive bottle of wine without asking? - Okay, it's a hate crime.”
  - “I even brought his favorite lunch shrimp cocktail and bourbon.”
  - “And what's that red stain? Shrimp cocktail sauce, uh-oh.”

## S9 E14 — Spanks for the Memories
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0914.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam's friends' faces so they can no longer give him "the look of pity."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I wish Jay was as sexy as you.”
  - “Ooh, you're gonna take me to a room where the hotel owner is going to give me a very tough, sexy talking to? No, you're gonna leave, or we're gonna call the police.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “Sir, she is not a prostitute.”
  - “I was just pretending to be a prostitute because my husband has a thing for Jane Fonda in "Klute.”
- Swearing — 7 moment(s)
  - “You catty bitches! Luke, we love you, but ever since you hit puberty, - you've been a little disgusting.”
  - “Stop! Don't you take another step! What the hell are you talking about? Claire just told me your Valentine's plans for Gloria.”
  - “"Damn it, Phil.”
  - “Ugh! This sucks.”
  - “I can't believe I let you talk me into doing this crap.”
  - “" Would it kill you to say that about me? What the hell? Amanda was here.”
  - “You came back! Damn it, I did! Why did you run off? What did I do? Everything.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Do you smoke weed? Oh.”
  - “You are the foxy bad boy who sneaks over with some wine coolers Oh, radical.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, to find out how racist our high-school friends are? No, to make people in our lives feel worse about their lives.”

## S9 E15 — Spanks for the Memories
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0915.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Jay overhears Gloria on the phone talking about spanking, he assumes she is frustrated in the bedroom. When he attempts to light the spark again by giving her exactly what she wants, he realizes he might have made a mistake. Meanwhile, now that Mitchell has an amazing new job, he and Cam throw a party to rub it in Cam's friends' faces so they can no longer give him "the look of pity."
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “Well, uh, Dad, when you, um When you did what you did to Gloria, you made the sex all about her body, and a woman wants it to be about the mind.”
  - “" Another sunny honeymoon What a sexy movie.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “This was before Polka Pete was brutally murdered, of course.”
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “Sort of a rags-to-bitches story, if you will.”
  - “Ay! Hey! Wh-What the hell was that?! Nothing! You know what? I think I forgot to lock the front door.”
  - “Ow! What the hell?! JOE: What the hell?! I'll clean my room, I promise! - Ha.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay, well, so why doesn't everyone just grab some appetizers and any wine that's already opened - Already opened wine.”

## S9 E16 — Wine Weekend
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0916.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The family goes on a wine tasting trip and stays in Haley's new boss' country house where the only rule is: Don't touch the tiara! Meanwhile, Gloria and Mitch are invited to a party at Oprah's house but can't bring anyone else.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I don't know where they came from, probably the same place that sells pinky rings and other things that make it difficult to see your husband as a sexual being.”
  - “Oh, 'cause you always dress so sexy? Let's check out this nightwear.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “When does the wine tasting start, because I can use it after the public bashing I've had to endure.”
  - “I'm trying to get some wine in Gloria so she passes out early and I can sneak off and feed Stella.”

## S9 E17 — Royal Visit
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0917.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley's brilliant astrophysicist boyfriend comes to meet the family, setting Claire and Phil off in a competition about which one of them is smarter, making Alex feel self-conscious about her dim but handsome firefighter boyfriend, Bill. Mitch and Cam go on a yoga retreat, but when Cam finds out his dream team, the Kansas City Royals, is having spring training next door, he can't resist sneaking out.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “How many patents do you have? Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun, Polite Car Horn that'll put an end to road rage.”

## S9 E18 — Daddy Issues
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0918.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Gloria's ex-boyfriend Jorge stops by for a visit, his striking resemblance to Manny makes Jay question if he might be Manny's real dad; Phil agonizes over getting the perfect anniversary gift for Claire; Cam and Mitch are out of their depth when Lily gets into a fight at school over bras.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “I wouldn't steal a bra! I don't wear bras! Oh.”
  - “A girl tried to snap Lily's - Finger! - Bra.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna go and open a bottle of wine.”
  - “Aw, you even found cans of the wine we used to like.”

## S9 E19 — CHiPs and Salsa
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0919.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When Haley hears that her loopy boss is looking for a product with the magical properties of peppers, she tries to gain favor by convincing Gloria to sell her salsa to NERP; Mitchell gets Cam the police ride-along he's always dreamed of.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Mitchell, why don't you ride shotgun? Oh, no, You know, he doesn't do that well on Splash Mountain in the front seat, so - He'll be fine.”
  - “Like that time I beat her in that race.”
  - “Looks like you got me dead Possum-punch! Possum-punch! Possum-punch! [LAUGHS.]”
  - “I imagine that's what it feels like to punch a guy or or catch a ball while running.”

## S9 E20 — Mother!
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0920.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: When Dede drops in unexpectedly, Mitchell and Cam come to a realization about her effect on their lives; Phil, Luke, Alex and Haley all have different bad news to break to Claire and compete about when to do it, the tiny window of time after her monthly spa day when she's her most relaxed.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I don't know what was more genius, bringing Dede in, or hooking the audience early with some teenage sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - BOTH: “Naked breakfast, naked breakfast [KNOCKING.]”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, you have wine, a self-help book, a-a pillow shaped like the platonic ideal of a male torso for cuddling and/or punching And a DVD we made for you called the "Donna Summer Olympics.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “What the hell? Does no one know what "upscale cocktail Hollywood glamour fabulous" means? - Hello.”

## S9 E21 — The Escape
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0921.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley meets Arvin's parents but when things don't go as planned, fate leads to an unexpected reunion with all of her ex-boyfriends. Meanwhile, the family seizes on a nursing home visit with Jay's mean sister, Becky, to settle old scores. But as Jay, Claire and Mitchell compete for her time, Phil, Cam and Gloria end up getting trapped in the home's basement with no way out.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “But they are kind of sex symbols in Utah.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Hair's conservative, no cleavage.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “I have been smelling marijuana since I got here! [SNIFFS.]”
  - “Now we have marijuana and no lighter and just this stupid key.”
  - “You're not hungover.”
  - “It's my favorite vodka.”

## S9 E22 — Clash of Swords
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/0922.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Mitchell sneaks out to "Hero-Con" with fanboy Phil, dressed as their favorite characters from the show "Clash of Swords." It's great until Phil commits the ultimate fan faux pas. In a clash of another kind, Gloria's dinosaur party for Joe is ruined when her nemesis, Dr. Donna Duncan, upstages her with a far bigger and better party right next door.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “You're plowing through the heartlands in an inchworm-green Camry with a bumper sticker that says "Meat is Murder.”
  - “Slash, don't stab.”

## S10 E1 — 1. I Love a Parade
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1001.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The Pritchett-Dunphy-Tucker clan are going to be setting off more than a few fireworks when they get together at the annual Fourth of July parade where Jay will be acting as the grand marshal. Meanwhile, Haley's goodbye with Arvin before his trip to Switzerland doesn't go as well as she pictured it and is distracted by the return of an old flame.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Like, you know how when you and I used to go to concerts, we used to just look at each other and know It was time for me to get on your shoulders and throw my bra at the drummer.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Why the giant bottle of wine? It's for perspective, and nobody's asking that question.”
  - “Aha! - Nuh-ha! You're the one who drove across town, paid $12 for parking and then an additional $2 for the yellow wristband for beer and medical tent access.”

## S10 E2 — 2. Kiss And Tell
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1002.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Haley needs a little help deciding whether or not to tell Arvin about her kiss with Dylan and goes to Mitch and Cam for their advice. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects Manny's Canadian girlfriend is made up and wants to find out the real truth.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, but didn't you say he was so sweet when she stayed over he offered to sleep on the couch? So what? My first boyfriend at his age, he wasn't ready to sleep with me.”
  - “You're the last virgin.”
  - “Delightful! Manny is there anything that you need to tell me? Maybe some kind of sexual thing? Um I really don't want to talk about this.”
  - “Have you ever heard a straight guy describe sex that way? That's what he meant? Why does that feel worse to me? Hey, Alex.”
  - “I'm having hotter sex than Hey, Dad? What are you doing? [METAL CLANGS.]”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's Sherry Shaker! I am sorry, but when I asked you if you were hiding something from me, you got all defensive, and you boob-shamed me.”
- Swearing — 5 moment(s)
  - “Maybe that's what Dad is doing to you? Son of a bitch.”
  - “Ugh, this sucks! I don't know what to do.”
  - “Oh, that sucks.”
  - “I kissed my ex-boyfriend! Damn it, stop freezing! Not frozen.”
  - “What the hell are you doing?! Oh, yeah, well, everybody's hungry, and the prevailing opinion is that I'm a better griller than you.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Was it a peck? Was it with Pepper? Was he drunk? Did you get a peck from a pickled Pepper? How long have you been sitting on that? You kissed a man six week - Hi.”
  - “You think my girlfriend is fake? Well, you didn't have any pictures, and at the bar, you said that her name was something like Olive Cocktail-napkin.”

## S10 E3 — 3. A Sketchy Area
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1003.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil stumbles into an exciting new career after dropping by Luke's college; while Claire deals with her dad, Jay, and the merger of Pritchett's Closets with a tech-savvy, hipper company. Meanwhile, Mitch's new high-profile case as an assistant district attorney is marred by an unflattering courtroom sketch by the resident Artist.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “And then I Oh tripped and fell and skinned my knee, and everybody saw my underwear.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, thanks to you, we've gotten rid of all the distractions no more ping-pong tables, squirt guns.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “The only thing we couldn't find was that giant CLAIRE: Break time, bitches! Uh, it turns out this is a little Oh, my God! The Thinfinity! I'm so sorry! Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I Oh! [CREAKING.]”
  - “The whole damn system's out of order!" Might not do that.”
  - “Watch out! What the hell?! You don't know about Zorbing? It promotes mind/body balance.”
  - “How many heart attacks have you had here in the last five years? Zero? Where am I?! America loves closets, and I'm here to build them, damn it!”

## S10 E4 — 4. Torn Between Two Lovers
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1004.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley can't seem to choose between her past and present relationships and is forced to make a decision. Meanwhile, Manny returns to college and dorm life while his girlfriend, Sherry, continues to stay at Jay and Gloria's, and might be overstaying her welcome.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “I went to Dylan's house to tell him it wasn't okay that we kissed, and I ended up sleeping with him.”
  - “Well, I did sleep with that thing since I was like 16.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “You stab me? Huh? Darn it.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “why don't you guys join us in the kitchen? I'll grab us some wine.”

## S10 E5 — 5. Good Grief
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1005.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: It's another epic Halloween full of costumes, tricks and treats for the Dunphy-Pritchett-Tucker clan as they deal with huge, unexpected news.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “You know, there's a deep psycho-spiritual connection between sex and death.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “I remember once Mom told me that I ate ice cream like a prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “First time I met her, she threatened to murder me - if I ever made her son unhappy.”
  - “Didn't Nana try to strangle you three times? Yeah, but one of those times, I was able to see again my favorite abuela for one second.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Then one time, she overheard me talking about drinking dandelion wine with my with my grandma.”
  - “The wine made me go blind for a bit, but - [CHUCKLES.]”

## S10 E6 — 6. On the Same Paige
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1006.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil learns that his real estate class will be cancelled if any additional students drop it. So, he turns on his powers of charm and flattery to keep one particular student, Paige, from leaving while Luke asks her out by inviting her over to dinner. Meanwhile, Jay may unknowingly be flirting with the mother of Joe's classmate and tries to set boundaries.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Did you know her last three boyfriends were 50? Maybe spend a little less time with your nose in that psych book and a little more time being sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “So, when I walked to the laundry room 10 minutes ago in my bra That was kind of perfect, actually.”
  - “Boy, feels naked without it.”
  - “You ever feel that way? Naked? I really wanted to trust that Joe was wearing his eye patch, but after finding it in the garbage, I had to make sure.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “I've been saving some occasion wine in my room.”
  - “She deserves better than boxed wine.”

## S10 E7 — 7. Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1007.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: When Cam forgets the words to his favorite country song, he blames Mitch and decides he needs to reconnect with his roots and get a chicken. Meanwhile, when Alex is up for a prestigious government job that requires a family interview, it causes everyone to overcompensate and jeopardize her chances; and Haley and Dylan think it might be time they grew up a little.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “If you really want to impress the interviewer, why don't you try casually leaving out this completed New York Times crossword that I found at the gym? Why bring a knife to a gun fight?”
  - “All these animals they seem so sweet, but it's a bloodbath at the first sign of weakness, like dinner with our friends when one person gets up from the table.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “The man thanks him with a quick drawing on a cocktail napkin.”
  - “Oh, let me get some champagne.”
  - “Mi amor, can I get some wine? That was Estefan's father.”

## S10 E8 — 8. Kids These Days
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1008.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley needs a little motherly advice from Claire as she considers her future with Dylan and her career. Meanwhile, Jay and Cam's less than politically correct coaching style earns them a class on sensitivity from Manny and Phil; and Mitch runs into Phil's nemesis, Gil, at an unlikely Place.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 6 moment(s)
  - “Um, hi! What are you doing here? I needed some sexy clothes, so I asked Gloria to help me shop.”
  - “Okay, I can't watch this anymore! Mom, please don't take this personally, but I was shopping with Gloria today because I wanted to find something sexy for my weekend away with Bill, and that's more her thing.”
  - “I guess I don't really feel like you're comfortable with my sexuality.”
  - “You and Haley can talk about guys and sex, but you still see me as a 12-year-old.”
  - “Um, can I just say, I am so comfortable with your sexuality.”
  - “Her sexual awakening has been tough on all of us.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Didn't realize there were no breasts! (laughter) - Am I right?! - Oh, hey.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Come in, we're celebrating! And bring a knife so we can cut this into 20 pieces! Coach Tucker, students are a "protected class" and it is not okay for you, an elite white man of privilege, to bully them.”
  - “Can I just say that if I had my gun in my purse, I would shoot myself.”

## S10 E9 — 9. Putting Down Roots
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1009.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Dede's husband, Jerry comes to town to bequeath her possessions to the family. Mitch and Claire receive a little more of Dede than they really know what to do with, and Jay and Gloria feel sorry for Jerry and invite him to stay with them while he is in town.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “I just remembered that I lost my virginity in this car.”
  - “I mean, how would you feel about driving around in the sweet ride I lost my virginity in? Do you really think you can track down the ox cart from the Renaissance fair? I only got to second base in the ox cart.”
  - “My mom, ugh, she found the condom wrapper under the seat, and it must have freaked her out.”
  - “But for what it's worth, I don't want to keep it because I had so much great sex in it.”
  - “I'm gonna make you the best sex I ever had in this car.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Come to my house, I'm going to be nude.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I told him we were the honeymooners, and, as a joke, he threatened to punch Dede to the moon.”
  - “Remember how you used to pick out my first day of school outfit so I wouldn't get beat up? Or how you'd hold the book while I read myself a bedtime story? And you're still doing it.”

## S10 E10 — Stuck in a Moment
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1010.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Hayley wants to give the family a Christmas gift they will never forget if she can just figure out the perfect time. Meanwhile, Claire is mad that Phil has once again borrowed the family Christmas tree for a house-showing; and Jay, Gloria and Joe have to deal with some unwelcome visitors over the holidays.
Watch for:
- Swearing — 3 moment(s)
  - “You son of a bitch.”
  - “Damn cozy is what they are.”
  - “Damn it, the power's out! Then so am I! No! You just leveled the playing field.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “…behind the one from our old babysitter? Mm, I believe he spoke the charming phrase, "And who is this whore?" Well, Christmas is at Grandpa's this year, so Cam will never see it.”

## S10 E11 — A Moving Day
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1011.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Claire and Phil aren't convinced that Haley and Dylan can make it on their own as they move them into their new apartment before the baby arrives. Meanwhile, Pameron gets out of prison early and has a bone to pick with Mitchell.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm just glad it wasn't another Jake Tapper sex dream.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, but I thought we were gonna go to the Ojai Mime and Wine Festival for your birthday? Oh, yeah, maybe we shouldn't do the party, Mom.”
  - “And he hates Central Valley wine.”

## S10 E12 — Blasts from the Past
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1012.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 4/5, language 2/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Phil and Claire decide to take a cycling tour through Italy before they become grandparents, and Dylan introduces them to his mom who has an interesting past. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell discover some interesting reading material in Lily's room and decide to confront her about it, while Gloria and Jay discover their respective great uncles may have fought on opposing sides of a war.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 5 moment(s)
  - “You know, my parents never talked to me - about anything sexual.”
  - “I-I-I know this is uncomfortable, but You shouldn't be ashamed about wondering or being curious about sex.”
  - “Why do you have a 20-year-old nudie mag? Agent Mulder meant a lot to me, okay? He was brooding and handsome and obsessed with an uptight yet sexy redhead.”
  - “Oh, come on! So what? I got a little extra worked up after looking at a sexy picture.”
  - “Dylan's Mom was the hot chick in the "Sex Kitty" music video.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, he hid in a closet during the fighting, then stole a dress and escaped by pretending to be a prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 4 moment(s)
  - “Oh, did you participate in the Ivory is Murder Fun Run? - Not that I recall.”
  - “I don't think I'm allowed to bring a knife to school.”
  - “The yoke of Spanish oppression will chafe Colombian shoulders no longer! My saber thirsts for European blood! - So cute! - Bravo! He looked it up and memorized it himself.”
  - “I got a ring of his with a tooth in it he punched out of a puma.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, Joe, so adorable, you look like a little Uncle Alvaro! One last touch the pocket watch, permanently broken at 3:30 after it stopped a bullet shot by a very drunk and jealous Florence Nightingale.”

## S10 E13 — Whanex?
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1013.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: While preparing a presentation for his students about their future goals, Cam must also contend with a bully at the school and Jay is having a little technical trouble during his video conference. Meanwhile, the local mall is holding a photo shoot for its new ad campaign and Gloria tricks Phil and Joe into participating.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Maybe not so sexy.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Why are you yelling? If you don't get it by now, you're never gonna get it! Well, somebody's panties are in a bunch.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's funny you ask I went to a wine and cheese mixer at the Dean's house the other night.”

## S10 E14 — We Need to Talk About Lily
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1014.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil may have conquered his biggest real estate challenge when he thinks he found Pepper his dream home. Meanwhile, in an attempt to connect with Lily, Mitch and Cam get invited to an exclusive event for her favorite vlogger.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Look, I really like being with Bill, and if I have to turn him down, that means the end of the relationship and all that great sex.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna have to run out into the street naked again.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours.”
  - “…You're making a scene! I know that old line But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like Yesterday's wine My heart's on my sleeve I want to believe This is weird.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Mine was when you tackled racism - and gave yourself that cute fishtail braid.”
- Homophobic jokes — 1 moment(s)
  - “Wait, does he go to the bench overlooking the city where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone tap danced into each other's hearts? - That's not so gay.”

## S10 E15 — Supershowerbabybowl
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1015.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Jay is hosting a Super Bowl party, and Claire is hosting a baby shower for Haley; both at Jay's house. What could go wrong?
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “His phone might be evidence - in a murder trial.”
  - “They act like they're tough, but when you punch 'em in the nose, they back down.”
  - “During a particularly intense creative discussion, I may have slapped him in front of his girlfriend.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I wasted my time.”

## S10 E16 — Red Alert
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1016.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Lily reaches a womanly milestone that Cam and Mitch are not prepared for -- at all -- so they call in reinforcements.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “The position opened up because it turns out Uncle Ned liked to play fast and loose with his genitals at work.”
  - “Hey! - Hey! So, sweetie, Daddy and I were wondering if, now that you're wearing a training bra, if you had any other questions about your changing body.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “" Wanna eat a whole sheet cake? Shut down a bad date? Smuggle some weed into a concert in your tampon box? Ain't nobody looking in there.”

## S10 E17 — The Wild
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1017.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitch, Cam and Phil crash Jay's annual hiking trip to find an elusive bald eagle after Gloria asks them to keep an eye on him. Meanwhile, Gloria, Alex, Claire and Haley get together to plan her baby shower.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers when they arrive.”
  - “Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! Move! Or I move you! I do still have my edge! Yes! Will you join my paintball team? What is that?! Field of Minions.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “It's gonna be such a fun girls' night drinking wine, planning the nursery.”
  - “Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey.”
  - “Um I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.”
  - “Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! You're the only one whose balance gets better after drinking a jug of whiskey.”

## S10 E18 — Stand By Your Man
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1018.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 1/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Dylan and Luke are really impressed with Bill's tales of heroism and survival as a firefighter, which make Phil feel emasculated. To impress the guys, he invites them over for a little male-bonding moment that goes terribly wrong.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “No, I didn't mean it in a sexy way.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I can't believe I'm saying this, but you might be weirder than the knife guy.”
  - “" "Delicious"? If my dad heard me say that, he'd have punched me, and I'd have been grateful.”
- Swearing — 4 moment(s)
  - “What do you mean "if"? It's gotta be good news, right? I mean I mean, it shouldn't take this long for a "yes" Are they calling to say "no"? Are these sons of bitches rejecting me?”
  - “People buy all sorts of crap on there.”
  - “Ever I love the way you don't give a damn.”
  - “You don't care who you piss off or what anyone thinks of you.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “slot Exactly when people are drunk enough to make bad decisions, but not so drunk they can't read the back of their credit cards.”
  - “Cowboy emcee: All right, folks, - we're about to kick off the beer relay! - [Cheering.]”
  - “Beer relay! Come on, team! - I'm sorry, guys.”

## S10 E19 — Yes-Woman
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1019.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In an effort to be less negative, Claire is rebranding herself as the girl who says "yes" and inadvertently approves of Luke's new relationship with someone from his work. Meanwhile, Phil tries to surprise Alex at school right before she receives an award she didn't tell him about.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “How drunk are you? I told you three times - she's on that school trip.”
  - “They introduced us to the world of underground parties and $18 cocktails.”
  - “Did we go to a hospital last night? Okay, Grandma Tucker's hangover remedy Put a pat of butter underneath your tongue, tip your head back, and I'll pour the hot sauce up your nose.”
  - “where you balance hats on your head, drink beer as a reward [Scottish accent.]”

## S10 E20 — Can't Elope
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1020.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley and Dylan's plan to quietly elope before the babies are born doesn't go as smoothly as they had hoped. Meanwhile, Jay continues to try and get his new business off the ground by courting an Instagram celebrity.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “And the only thing less sexy than a dog bed is a quitter, and I didn't marry a quitter.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “I would murder my entire family and all of their friends to see that musical.”
  - “Who should I choose? Either way, I lose I stare at the gun Is it daughter, is it son? Choices - Impossible choices - Choices - Impossible choices - Impossible Both: Choices This is why I can't have friends over.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Oh, it's such an honor to - Vodka! - Oh.”
  - “You're gonna taste some wine today! Hey, hey, hey.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “If we said yes to everything, then we're no better than that whore Grumpy Cat.”

## S10 E21 — Commencement
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1021.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Cam is finally getting a chance to shine when he is asked to preside over the high school graduation ceremony at the last minute, while Jay gives the commencement address. Meanwhile, Claire runs into her former high school rival who brings out the worst in her.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Your glee at another man's misfortune should trouble me, but there's also something sort of sexy about it.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Phil? - Skip! You son of a gun.”
  - “Now go take your seats! "Owl Hitler"?! What the hell is this picture? I never strangled an owl! Is it too much for Dylan to let me know where he is? My water could literally break any minute.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “So, you two, grab champagne and flowers for Alex.”
  - “The twins started kicking the second I picked up booze.”
  - “If mathematics doesn't matter, then no one can be certain of anything, and I've just wasted the last four no, 16 years of my life, and there's no point in me graduating!”

## S10 E22 — A Year of Birthdays
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1022.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: As the birth of Haley and Dylan's twins approaches we take a look back at how each family member celebrated their birthdays this past year.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “not condoms.”
  - “What about the sex? Doctor says not for six weeks.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “For you, he would let you in because you have money and you have the boobs.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “No, I taught her to go for the gun.”
  - “The kind of love that punches you in the gut and makes you wanna be a better man.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 4 moment(s)
  - “I was not cooking meth.”
  - “Just this last year, he recycled a gift of mine a wonderful book about wine.”
  - “Vincent's a sloppy drunk.”
  - “You're the sloppy drunk! Surprise! Here's a thing I realized You can't get older if you never have birthdays.”

## S11 E1 — 1. New Kids on the Block
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1101.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Haley is determined to follow the advice in her parenting books with the twins, but Phil and Claire think their old methods are better. Meanwhile, Manny is set to direct Jay's dog bed commercial in the hopes of winning his ex-girlfriend back.
Watch for:
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “It is time to break out the big guns.”
  - “Wow, that's a punch in the gut.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “I read the suicide rate here has plateaued.”

## S11 E2 — 2. Snapped
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1102.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 1/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Claire needs to get everyone out of the house before they make her look bad in front of a reporter from an important women's business magazine. Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell clash over their new "smart" refrigerator and Phil's obsession with the show "Snapped" leads him into dangerous territory.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Okay? Their Their threesome nearly destroyed them.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “Plus, Mom said she was sick, but she was wearing that stuff that makes her look like a prostitute.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - GLORIA: “Phil! Phil? Phil, where are you? I want to show you how Libby's hair and blood got on my car.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “Okay, what's next? Another cocktail? [LAUGHING.]”
  - “Oh, gosh! Bridget! Are you trying to get me drunk? What What Okay, what's what's going on here? Well, Bridget and I are making pasta.”
  - “Hey, you know what? Why don't you go open a bottle of wine? Okay.”

## S11 E3 — 3. Perfect Pairs
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1103.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil, Claire, Alex and Luke love having the twins around, but taking care of them is exhausting! However, when they realize the babies might help them with a few things on their to-do lists, they offer to give Haley the day off .
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “Once an underwear model A couple International Male covers to pay for medical school, he'll never let me forget it! Okay, we should go.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “Who was your favorite artist in the postimpressionist show? - Uh - Uh, w I mean, gun to my head? I would say Gauguin, perhaps? - To the exhibit? - Yes.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Then she asked if I'd buy wine for dinner tonight.”
  - “It's not the greatest quality, but Wait, you took my babies to a liquor store?! No, it's the it's the wine museum.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “Oh, my God, you guys, let's hurry! Hurrying where? Uh, there's a retrospective "Cher in the '70s: Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.”

## S11 E4 — 4. Pool Party
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1104.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 3/5, language 3/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Mitch and Cam help Lily overcome her insecurities about wearing a bathing suit to a pool party but discover their own. Meanwhile, now that Gloria's new internship is taking up so much of her time, Jay is feeling particularly neglected.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “I mean, why are we so obsessed with how we look? So people will have sex with us? But confidence is the sexiest thing.”
  - “I-I talk sexy to the mirror in there.”
  - “This is what I look like, and I think I look sexy! Am I literally invisible to you people?! - Whew.”
- Nudity & bodies — 2 moment(s)
  - “Haley, you have to admit it feels good to put on nice clothes and get out in the world and not have anyone pawing at your boobs for two seconds.”
  - “It's just a bad bra.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 2 moment(s)
  - “I'm basically a porn director.”
  - “The pictures from our closets are all over a Russian porn site.”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “Miss, do you have any enemies? Are you in a blood feud? Gloria.”
  - “What if I helped the pervs? What if I put the gun in their hand? Doesn't sound like it was a gun in their hand.”
- Swearing — 6 moment(s)
  - “It's like, oh, it'll break my heart to be away from them, but as a feminist, I want to show those snarky bitches at the office how fast my body bounced back.”
  - “I'm still a Realtor! Son of a bitch.”
  - “Hey! - Hey! Aw, hell.”
  - “Come on, Manny! Where the hell's your mother?”
  - “Damn hippie private school.”
  - “Damn it! How'd you get all the way across town?! I'm coming, baby! I'm coming! Hey, J Nah.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “I'm gonna get wine.”
- Racism & slurs — 1 moment(s)
  - “When I got married and moved to a mainly white neighborhood with kind of racist lawn statues, that was change.”

## S11 E5 — 5. The Last Halloween
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1105.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 3/5, language 1/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil is determined to finally scare Claire on Halloween. Meanwhile, for the first time, Gloria is feeling self-conscious about her age when someone correctly assumes she is Jay's wife; and Mitch and Cam head to the WeHo Halloween Carnival after Lily decides to go to her first Halloween party alone
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 2 moment(s)
  - “For emotional support? Carpool lane! I hope this doesn't sound too mushy, but I really love hooking up with you.”
  - “So we posed them having sex, rang the doorbell, and then when they opened the door, we blew them up.”
- Nudity & bodies — 3 moment(s)
  - “Instead I got "Send more boobs"? I'm not mad, but I don't want to make it a habit of sending nudes.”
  - “You actually sent boob pics? Yeah.”
  - “You sent Creepy Craig a naked photo?”
- Violence & injury — 2 moment(s)
  - “How in the world did that not frighten you? Some of this is my actual blood.”
  - “It could be, um shotgun or poison or a power drill to the eye Stop.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “Excuse me! I killed myself?! Yeah.”
- Swearing — 2 moment(s)
  - “Bye, bitches! It's okay.”
  - “Damn right, it is.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 1 moment(s)
  - “Is that a beer? - [GASPS.]”

## S11 E6 — 6. A Game of Chicken
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1106.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Gloria is using her alone time with the twins as an opportunity to secretly baptize them before Haley and Dylan get home. Meanwhile, Claire is still dealing with the fallout from the smart closet fiasco, and Cam is at war with his school's mascot who is threatening his chance at securing a new college coaching job.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “What's the catch? Well, there's a lot of donations and some shame around sex, but Christmas is fun.”
- Porn / strippers / sex work — 1 moment(s)
  - “It's like, I'm an adult film director who collects Precious Moments Dolls.”
- Violence & injury — 1 moment(s)
  - “That's when I realized I knew that chicken Those weak punches, a run that said "Pick me last" in gym class.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Yeah, and we weren't even drunk yet.”
  - “I think you were very drunk.”

## S11 E7 — 7. The Last Thanksgiving
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1107.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 4/5, language 1/5, overall 4/5 (Skip for under 13)
Summary: Cameron and Mitchell's friends mistakenly assume they have split up and have definitely chosen a side, and Haley attempts to cook Thanksgiving dinner as a thank you for Claire and Phil's support with the twins. Meanwhile, Jay invites Phil and Dylan out to fly his model plane, and Phil thinks this is his chance to reclaim his dignity after their first outing 10 years ago went so wrong.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 3 moment(s)
  - “Can I come? Uh, actually, Jay's pretty particular about Sure, why not? Looks like we're having a threesome! You're embarrassing yourself.”
  - “I know that poles aren't as sexy as closets.”
  - “I'm starting to wonder if our relationship should just be sexual.”
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “1 Okay, we still need wine, cheese, flowers Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.”
  - “I like day drinking, but nothing beats being drunk with power.”

## S11 E8 — 8. Tree's a Crowd
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1108.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: The Dunphy house is bursting at the seams when Dylan's hippie mom moves in and Claire's lonely stepdad, Jerry, wants to pay them a visit. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria attempt to help Manny get over his big breakup with Sherry
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 4 moment(s)
  - “Eh, there comes a point in every gay man's life when a lesbian couple asks him for his sperm.”
  - “You know, we don't want anyone involved financially or otherwise, so we were just thinking of going to the sperm bank.”
  - “It's gonna be 45 minutes about how much he misses Mom and then some overshare about their sex life.”
  - “I've seen you make out with a Mr.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “They're drunk.”
  - “Why don't the two of you enjoy your wine in the backyard while we finish setting up in here? What a lovely idea.”
  - “What is Champagne.”

## S11 E9 — 9. The Last Christmas
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1109.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Cameron is hoping to keep everyone happy for their annual Christmas dinner as he hides and prepares for his big interview for a head coaching position out of state. Meanwhile, Haley is excited to finally be reunited with wine; and Mitchell is suspicious of Cam's holiday trip to visit his family in Missouri.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, who's going to get me a drink? Mama's done breast-feeding.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 8 moment(s)
  - “It's my grandma's 100-year-old recipe, except I use cayenne pepper instead of cocaine.”
  - “These babies are all mine again, and I'm ready to fill 'em up with wine.”
  - “Your parents? The people whose idea of fancy is dropping a Certs into a jar of schnapps? I'll have you know that Grandma's Mint Rockets are the cocktail of choice at the governor's mansion.”
  - “Manny, would you care for a champagne cocktail? Please.”
  - “I do love champagne.”
  - “Bring the wine.”
  - “What would he do for work? Prosecute Otis, the town drunk? Excuse me.”
  - “I'm just drunk and upset.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “And why are you digging through my suitcase? - Uh - CLAIRE: Hey, Dad? Are you just gonna stand there while your wife calls me a tramp? I feel this is a risky time to weigh in.”

## S11 E10 — The Prescott
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1110.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 1/5, overall 1/5 (Usually fine — about 9+)
Summary: Alex's new company is putting her up at a new luxury apartment with full amenities and a list of high-profile residents that the family is eager to take advantage of, without her knowing. Phil is on a mission to review the restaurant's famous sliders for his food blog, while Mitch and Cam sneak in separately to meet its most famous resident, David Beckham. Meanwhile, Luke and Manny head straight for the gym to try and pick up on older women and end up in some hot water with a few of the residents.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “I never noticed how sexy your feet are.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Can't say for whom, but let's include a glass of champagne in case his posh wife joins him.”
  - “Your husband has asked that you meet him up in one of the rooftop hot tubs for some champagne.”

## S11 E11 — Legacy
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1111.html
Scores: violence 3/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 3/5 (Preview first — about 10+)
Summary: Phil pays a visit to his dad to make sure he is ok after hearing some concerning news about him. Meanwhile, Jay gives Claire and Mitch a bunch of their old childhood memorabilia that triggers them to reevaluate a long-held story about their first family vacation.
Watch for:
- Nudity & bodies — 1 moment(s)
  - “If I'm not mistaken, you saw your first naked lady - in this barbershop.”
- Violence & injury — 3 moment(s)
  - “Not the hot one! I swear to God I swear to God, we are going through with this wedding so that I can kill you, and then I'm gonna divorce your corpse! Well, you seem like a nice couple.”
  - “Of course, the only way you can destroy a real swooper is to stab its reflection during the Harvest Moon.”
  - “Well, obviously, the gun won't be loaded.”

## S11 E12 — Dead on a Rival
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1112.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 1/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Mitchell learns a valuable life lesson when Murray, a former resident of the house, shows up unexpectedly. Meanwhile, the Dunphy's old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, comes to visit with a big surprise for Phil. Then, Manny's dad, Javier, shows up with a big opportunity for his son.
Watch for:
- Alcohol & drugs — 3 moment(s)
  - “I'll get the vodka! [LAUGHTER.]”
  - “As much as I enjoyed her pairing the glass of Chablis with my surprise shrimp cocktail, that's not a skill I need in an assistant.”
  - “He planned a whole adventure! We'll drink tequila in Honduras.”

## S11 E13 — Paris
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1113.html
Scores: violence 1/5, sex 2/5, language 1/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: In one last family trip, they head to Paris so Jay can accept a lifetime achievement award for his work in the closet industry. However, his old nemesis, Earl Chambers, finds a way to haunt him. Meanwhile, Claire has a secret rendezvous in one of the most romantic cities in the world, and Cam's lifelong dream of performing as Fizbo on the streets of Paris is about to become a reality.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “Fizbo's more than just a-a pair of big shoes and an un-sexy jacket.”
- Affairs / cheating — 1 moment(s)
  - “We had a brief but passionate affair, spending our days exploring Paris and our nights exploring each other.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 5 moment(s)
  - “Well, I hope to see you both at the cocktail reception in an hour.”
  - “I'm gonna go find my favorite café, have a glass of wine, and try not to be sad that I'm all alone.”
  - “We could invite him for a glass of wine.”
  - “Shall we have some champagne? Uh, no, thank you.”
  - “I'm not really in the mood for champagne.”
- Slut-shaming — 1 moment(s)
  - “You're an Auguste clown, not a tramp.”

## S11 E14 — Spuds
URL: https://watchwiththekids.com/ep/modern-family/1114.html
Scores: violence 2/5, sex 2/5, language 2/5, overall 2/5 (Mild — okay from about 9+)
Summary: Phil and Claire take Haley and Dylan to dinner to reassure them they are not bad parents. While out to dinner, they run into Mitch and Cam who are chaperoning Lily's first date, as well as Jay and Gloria after attending Joe's school play.
Watch for:
- Sex & hookups — 1 moment(s)
  - “So, uh, Dad, Gloria says that you won't take pills for your back? I got to get this from all sides now? I don't like what they do to me, alright? They make me feel super Horny? Constipated? Emotional.”
- Suicide & self-harm — 1 moment(s)
  - “You couldn't just say you had a cold? Oh, yeah, and Abe Lincoln, he could've said, "87 years ago," and Hamlet could've said, "Maybe I'll kill myself.”
- Alcohol & drugs — 2 moment(s)
  - “Okay, tell that funny story of the old drunk guy who was kissing the donkey.”
  - “Honey, there could be a money volcano that plugs right into a white wine fountain in there.”