Content guide
Skip for under 14
Family Guy S4 E2, “2. Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High”, scores 3/5 for violence, 3/5 for sex and 4/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 4/5 — Skip for under 14. When Chris' teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. All's well until Brian is moved to another class where he must teach troubled kids to aim low. Meanwhile, Chris is instantly smitten with his new teacher, Mrs. Lockhart, who promises to be with him if he kills her husband. But when Lois finds the teacher's written instructions in Chris' laundry, she and Stewie conspire together to find answers and teach Chris a lesson.
Across the episode we counted 27 flagged moments in 8 themes: Sex & hookups (1); Nudity & bodies (5); Porn / strippers / sex work (2); Violence & injury (6); Swearing (9); Alcohol & drugs (2); Racism & slurs (1); Fat-shaming (1). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Sex & hookups 1 moment
How Sex & hookups shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
So, I brought you a condom.
Nudity & bodies 5 moments
How Nudity & bodies shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
Remember the naked spaceman, Lois? Yeah.
You remember the naked spaceman.
Our son can sometimes be a boob.
I mean, a sopping-wet pair of breasts barely covered by a racing t-shirt.
Taco! Good God! Look at the fat man's underwear.
Porn / strippers / sex work 2 moments
How Porn / strippers / sex work shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
But without a decent education, you could spend the rest of your life as a ditch digger or a moteI maid or a hooker.
I could be a ditch digger? - A moteI maid? I could be a hooker? Well, no.
Violence & injury 6 moments
How Violence & injury shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
Oh, my God! Chris is gonna murder Mrs.
How is that close? For God's sake, Chris! You murdered Mr.
Premeditated murder is one thing, but I will not have Iying in this house.
It appears Ronald Lockhart has been brutally murdered by his wife, Lana, and a locaI bear.
Gross! You know what else is gross? Broke a damn blood vesseI! How's it coming, dog? God! Just listen to this kid's report on Great Expectations.
My God, his blood lust is unquenchable! Chris, why don't you take your sister into the kitchen for a sandwich? I don't want to die! Why is everybody acting weird? Chris, honey, we know what you did.
Swearing 9 moments
How Swearing shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
"Miss Havisham should have throwed that cake out so it don't like "mess all up the bitch's house.
Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.
Will you all please excuse me for a moment? Tonight's winning lottery numbers are Oh, my God! I won! I'm free from all those snot-nosed, little bastards! I'm free! - Is she coming back? - I don't know.
What's he going to teach them? How to lick the Dorito crumbs from between the sofa cushions? Or how to leave a dead bird on the carpet? That was a gift, you bastard.
What's it like to have Brian as a teacher? It sucks! Mr.
Where's this bastard live? - I'll show you.
That's his house! - Take that! - I got it! Take that, you bum! What the hell are you doing? - Is that him? - Yeah! Oh, crap! Hello, class.
What the hell are you doing? Give that back! Man! Now, where were we? This is much better.
Lana, this is gonna be a reaI long trip if you don't knock off the crap! Love you.
Alcohol & drugs 2 moments
How Alcohol & drugs shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
You think we could put both our names on that? What? You've done nothing but eat Breyer's and smoke pot for the last six months.
And I love weed.
Racism & slurs 1 moment
How Racism & slurs shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
Know what I'm saying? - That's racist, man.
Fat-shaming 1 moment
How Fat-shaming shows up in Family Guy S4 E2:
Do you have any idea what time it is? Get in the house, fatty! Chris, you big beautifuI man, I'm so glad you came.
Watch With The Kids · You kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.