Content guide
Skip for under 14
Family Guy S9 E7, “7. Road to the North Pole”, scores 3/5 for violence, 4/5 for sex and 4/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 4/5 — Skip for under 14. Stewie's favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is making an appearance at the mall, he begs Brian to take him so that he can tell Santa in person what he wants for Christmas. Brian begrudgingly takes Stewie to the mall, only to get the brush-off from Santa. As a result, Stewie and Brian travel to the North Pole to find Santa and teach him a lesson in holiday cheer.
Across the episode we counted 26 flagged moments in 6 themes: Sex & hookups (1); Nudity & bodies (5); Violence & injury (5); Swearing (12); Alcohol & drugs (2); Racism & slurs (1). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Sex & hookups 1 moment
How Sex & hookups shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
Let's get those reindeer hooked up and get out of here.
Nudity & bodies 5 moments
How Nudity & bodies shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
- Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
Anyway, Seth came out of my penis, and now he made this.
Damn right, it's here! Now, while you think about the fact that you're never going to enjoy a nocturnal breast-feeding from Lois, I shall open the gate.
You know, those aren't socks and underwear donated by the fire department to some battered women's shelter.
Who is Jennifer-Pizza-Hut-big-boobs-bad-face? Okay, Iook why don't you go back to bed, all right? Who are you? Where's Dan? -Oh, my God! -Oh, crap! -Quick, Stewie! Get the bat! -Help! Help! Mommy! It's okay.
Violence & injury 5 moments
How Violence & injury shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
What is this? This is a weird gun.
Oh, it's a flare gun.
Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a bloodlust for elfflesh.
Let me just clean his father's blood and hair off it.
AII right, that's the Iast of the blood.
Swearing 12 moments
How Swearing shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
Could be three hours, could be three years, I don't fucking know.
…Never mind the reason Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball Doesn't this seem like too much stuff? Suck my dick, it's not enough!
That son of a bitch.
I'm gonna see the workshop, pet a few reindeer, take a few pictures of me and Santa, and then I'm gonna blow his goddamn brains out, hopefully with his bitch wife watching.
You're about to give birth into cow crap.
When that thing comes out, just wipe the crap off of him as fast as you can and I don't know, man.
Damn it! We're gonna be here forever.
What the hell? Why isn't it moving? I don't know.
Wait a minute, why the hell do you want to kill Santa? Because that fat bastard blew me off at the mall, and he shall not go unpunished.
Is this the trigger? Oh, my God, Stewie, you all right? What the hell happened? Just some stupid stuff went down.
You do what you want, Brian, but I am going to the North Pole and I'm gonna kill that bastard! Stewie, you're putting me in a hell of a position here, but I have no choice.
Damn it, it won't turn over.
Alcohol & drugs 2 moments
How Alcohol & drugs shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
I just came from AA, eh? -Huh? -Stewie, I think he's just a drunk.
Well, drunk or not, can you help us? I can if you want to join AA, eh? No, I'm already a member of A-A-A.
Racism & slurs 1 moment
How Racism & slurs shows up in Family Guy S9 E7:
And I want a pet animal that's half-chinchilla and half-mink, 'cause it'd be really soft, and I could call it chink, and that's okay.
Watch With The Kids · You kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.