Content guide
Skip for under 13
Modern Family S1 E12, “Not in My House”, scores 1/5 for violence, 4/5 for sex and 2/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 4/5 — Skip for under 13. When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
Across the episode we counted 12 flagged moments in 4 themes: Sex & hookups (3); Nudity & bodies (4); Porn / strippers / sex work (3); Affairs / cheating (2). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Sex & hookups 3 moments
How Sex & hookups shows up in Modern Family S1 E12:
If we don't handle it right, Luke might end up having an unhealthy attitude about sex or agribusiness.
Boys don't want their moms talking to 'em about sex any more than girls want their dads talking to 'em about periods, bras and girdles and all that stuff.
That-That-That is exactly the kind of sexual revolution that our son is going through right now.
Nudity & bodies 4 moments
How Nudity & bodies shows up in Modern Family S1 E12:
He told me he needed it to do homework, and then I find this, a-a picture of a topless woman, with the biggest boobs I have ever seen, driving a tractor.
Breasts are like these scary, mystical things that he's drawn to like Frodo to Mordor.
When I find out that my children are looking at a naked picture online, they don't have any privacy.
Who was looking at naked pictures? - That doesn't matter.
Porn / strippers / sex work 3 moments
How Porn / strippers / sex work shows up in Modern Family S1 E12:
But I am telling him that every time he looks at porn, God kills a puppy.
I didn't find any more porn.
You read it too? Am I the only one who hasn't read it? I was looking through the computers in the house for pornography.
Affairs / cheating 2 moments
How Affairs / cheating shows up in Modern Family S1 E12:
So, what'd he do? Did he cheat on a test? He's a cheater.
He did not cheat on a test.
Watch With The Kids · You kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.