Content guide
Preview first — about 10+
Modern Family S7 E9, “9. White Christmas”, scores 3/5 for violence, 2/5 for sex and 3/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 3/5 — Preview first — about 10+. Gloria's wish is for a lovely white Christmas with the family - now if only everyone else would just get with the program.
Across the episode we counted 14 flagged moments in 5 themes: Sex & hookups (3); Affairs / cheating (2); Violence & injury (3); Swearing (4); Alcohol & drugs (2). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Sex & hookups 3 moments
How Sex & hookups shows up in Modern Family S7 E9:
silent night holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child! Okay, hey, hey, I have a fun idea! Why don't we give Lily one of her presents right now? - Ooh, that is a fun idea, daddy.
Shh! - You -- - silent night - What the hell is that? holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child - Son of a bitch!
Andy's fiancée, Beth, has to work, so Gloria invited him for Christmas, which is complicated because we've been having sex and nobody knows about it.
Affairs / cheating 2 moments
How Affairs / cheating shows up in Modern Family S7 E9:
And I'm actually cheating on him, too.
Hey, you broke up with Beth? She cheated on me.
Violence & injury 3 moments
How Violence & injury shows up in Modern Family S7 E9:
I just got stabbed in the back.
Really? You were stabbed in the back? A daughter mocking her father's life.
"I'm hungry for the blood of a little girl.
Swearing 4 moments
How Swearing shows up in Modern Family S7 E9:
Shh! - You -- - silent night - What the hell is that? holy night all is calm all is bright 'round yon virgin mother and child - Son of a bitch!
Can I have everyone's attention, please? I feel so lucky celebrating with the best damn family any man could hope for.
Why? Damn you and that eagle scout smile.
Christmas, huh? Who the hell came up with this one? It was Emperor Constantine.
Alcohol & drugs 2 moments
How Alcohol & drugs shows up in Modern Family S7 E9:
You're sweating like a heroin addict.
You owe her 25 margaritas!
Watch With The Kids · You kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.