Content guide
Preview first — about 10+
Seinfeld S5 E9, “The Masseuse”, scores 3/5 for violence, 3/5 for sex and 1/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 3/5 — Preview first — about 10+. Jerry gets mad when he dates a masseuse. Kramer and George get massages while Jerry doesn't. Meanwhile, Elaine's new boyfriend is Joel Rifkin, an innocent man who shares the same name as one of New York's most notorious serial killers.
Across the episode we counted 11 flagged moments in 3 themes: Sex & hookups (4); Nudity & bodies (1); Violence & injury (6). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Sex & hookups 4 moments
How Sex & hookups shows up in Seinfeld S5 E9:
- JOANNE
I wouldn't sleep with my back to him if I were you.
- JERRY
Yeah I know... She just wants to have sex.
- JERRY
Risotto. (we see a flashback from The Mango where Karen tells George that she feels full after a Risotto, as opposed to when she has sex with him)
- GEORGE
The sex wasn't so good?
Nudity & bodies 1 moment
How Nudity & bodies shows up in Seinfeld S5 E9:
- JOEL
Ned's a guy who buys irregular underwear. Next!
Violence & injury 6 moments
How Violence & injury shows up in Seinfeld S5 E9:
by the sounds of murdering, just stereo. Chain saws, people screaming,
- ELAINE
(to the person in front of her) He's not the murderer.
yourself, buddy. (Jerry slams down the knife and goes to the couch)
- ELAINE
Hey, how many people did Rifkin strangle? Eighteen?
- JERRY
Yeah. Eighteen strangles.
- ELAINE
(she fakes a strangling) RRR...
Watch With The Kids · Your kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.