Content guide
Skip for under 14
South Park S13 E13, “Dances with Smurfs”, scores 3/5 for violence, 4/5 for sex and 4/5 for language, for an overall kid-rating of 4/5 — Skip for under 14. Cartman is selected to read the morning announcements at school, but he turns the forum into a bully pulpit to unleash criticism of the student-body president.
Across the episode we counted 19 flagged moments in 6 themes: Nudity & bodies (2); Porn / strippers / sex work (1); Violence & injury (5); Swearing (7); Alcohol & drugs (1); Slut-shaming (3). Every moment below is either a direct quote from the episode transcript or a short description of what happens on screen, so you can decide before you press play.
Watch for — every moment, theme by theme
Nudity & bodies 2 moments
How Nudity & bodies shows up in South Park S13 E13:
- Explicit body / sex-act language appears in dialogue.
"Wendy Testaburger has proven time and time again "that she will do anything to pleasure her vagina.
Porn / strippers / sex work 1 moment
How Porn / strippers / sex work shows up in South Park S13 E13:
We should all ask if our President is a penis-hungry hooker with a huge vagina.
Violence & injury 5 moments
How Violence & injury shows up in South Park S13 E13:
Yeah, right! - All right, what the hell is going on here? You, sir, need to leave this area-- - Oh, God, he shot him!
Oh, really? Then how come Gordon Stoltski got to go on for, like, five minutes that one day? - Well, because he was being murdered.
…crimes on the morning announcements! - Wendy, did a boy just pee on our door because the Smurfs were murdered?
Any interested students should fill out a-- Whoa! What's going on? - I'll kill you! I swear to god, I'll kill you! - Who are you? - I'm the man who's gonna put a bullet between your eyes! - Hey, he's got a gun!
…survey-- Aah! Aah! - I knew you were lying! That was terrible! Now put your mouth over the barrel of this gun.
Swearing 7 moments
How Swearing shows up in South Park S13 E13:
…I'm the man who's gonna put a bullet between your eyes! - Hey, he's got a gun! - You little bastard! You fucked my wife!
With all those Smurf berries, I can power the school for the entire year! - Wendy, I know you're president of our school, but you can't just dig up the Smurf's land! - Fuck the Smurfs! They can suck my fat tits.
Oh, this is it, huh? Okay, uh, Mike, why don't we have you try out first? He stutters like a bitch.
Maybe you guys should check into what student council actually does before you just blindly listen to what some idiot with a microphone tells you! - What did the Smurfs ever do to you, you bitch?
Our asshole president is a fat, smelly, douche bag milkshake.
I don't give a crap about Smurfs! It is true.
What the hell do you think you're doing? - A book signing.
Alcohol & drugs 1 moment
How Alcohol & drugs shows up in South Park S13 E13:
Is Wendy using your lunch money to buy heroin? Probably not.
Slut-shaming 3 moments
How Slut-shaming shows up in South Park S13 E13:
It's 540 pages of ripping on Wendy and calling her a slut! - I do not directly say she's a slut.
This school has finally transformed into the Socialist whore land where a student isn't free.
Can you see why many students think you're an ineffective slut? Are you denying that the Smurf holocaust ever happened? Is that what you're suggesting? - Look, Eric.
Watch With The Kids · You kids — your rules! · Informal parent guidance, not an official rating.